אמר רבי יהושע בן לוי (שם ט"ז, ב') מה נשתנה מצורע שאמרה תורה יביא שתי צפרים לטהרתו אמר הקב"ה הוא עשה מעשה פטיט לפיכך יביא קרבן פטיט. והא דאמר שהבדיל בין איש לאשתו ובין איש לחבירו, ר"ל שכל לשון הרע הוא מבדיל ומרחיק את אשר אמר עליו לשון הרע, ואין ענין לשון הרע רק להרחיקו מן הבריות מפני שאמר עליו דברי גנות עד שהבריות מרחקין אותו, ולפיכך כל ענין לשון הרע אפילו איכא נורא בי פלניא שגם זה מבדיל האדם מן הבריות, ודבר זה פעולת לשון הרע ששולח לשונו באחד לגנות אותו ולדחות אותו מן הנמצאים, ולפיכך הוא נדחה ג"כ מן הנמצאים. כי זהו ענין מצורע שהוא נחלק מן הכלל, ולא כן שאר יסורין אשר אינו נבדל האדם בשביל היסורין מן כלל הנמצאים, אבל המצורע הוא שנדחה מן הנמצאים, מפני כי חטא בעל לשון הרע שבא להרחיק את האדם ולפיכך הוא מתרחק. וכל ענין זה שפועל בעל לשון הרע ההרחקה שהוא מרחיק הבריות, ולכך בעל לשון הרע עצמו נכרת ונקצץ גם כן וכדכתיב יכרת יהוה כל שפתי חלקות לשון מדברת גדולות. וכבר התבאר זה למעלה כי בשביל כך ראוי להשליכו לכלבים, ולפיכך הנחש ובעל לשון הרע שוים יחד וכדכתיב אם ישך הנחש בלא לחש ומה יתרון לבעל הלשון, ואין דבר נבדל יותר מן הנמצאים כמו הנחש וכן ראוי אל בעל לשון הרע, ואין להאריך:
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi taught (Arachin 16b) What is different and notable about a one afflicted with tzara'at, that the Torah states: “He shall dwell alone; outside of the camp shall be his dwelling” (Vayikra13:46)? He replied: (By speaking lashon hara) he separated between husband and wife and between one person and his fellow; therefore (he is punished with tzara'at, and) the Torah says: “He shall dwell alone; outside of the camp shall be his dwelling.” The meaning of the teaching that he separated between man and wife, and between man and his fellow, is that all lashon hara separates and distances the one about whom the lashon hara was said, and the essence of lashon hara is only to separate this person from community, by saying something derogatory about that person until the community distances them. We find this in even a (relatively minor form of lashon hara cited in Arachin 15b) "there is always fire in this person's home [from which it was inferred to cook meat]," (in those times this would have indicated wealth) as this too creates separation from others in the community, and this is what the act of lashon hara is meant to achieve, that one employs their speech to put someone else down, and thereby push them away from society... As opposed to other types of suffering which doesn't separate a person from society on account of their suffering, but the consequence of being a metzora is to suffer being ostracized from society, as this is the sin of one habitually engages in lashon hara who's aim is to create separation amongst the community, and therefore he himself gets separated.
We can now appreciate Maharal's earlier explanation of our Sages teaching (Arachin 16a), "One who habitually engages in lashon hara is as if they deny the Fundamental (of Hashem's existence)." The two complementary approaches he takes are: (1) Society is a reflection of Hashem's desire to bestow goodness on humanity, the more Divine service, mutual cooperation, and prosperity there is, the easier it is to appreciate and realize Hashem's goodness in creation. One who relates to society and community in a divisive way by consistently showing the negativity in others, characterizes creation as being bad, and therefore as if it is antithetical to the idea of a Benevolent God who is the Source of existence. (2) One who habitually weaponizes lashon hara does so to promote their own self-interest and power, believing they can use their speech and no one can stop them. In effect, they are denying God's authority.
1. The Quality of the Community = The Quality of our Speech about Others
Our Sages teach (Bava Basra 164b) that most people (who don't habitually say lashon hara) don't actually intend to characterize others as bad people (or ones who are best to avoid), but anyone who isn't careful will inevitably talk about others in such a way that will draw attention to their perceived differences and thus incite others to lashon hara (most likely every day!). The problem is anytime we talk about someone else (or their family, home, etc.), we are inviting other people's scrutiny, especially if we say very nice things about them! This is true even if we are talking to friends of the subject. In addition, blaming or criticism of someone else to a third party, even indirectly, is often lashon hara. Often, people will use "accountability" as a defense, implying that they are simply truth tellers acting with the best interests of others in mind. Real accountability is communicated directly to the person in question.
If we want to build a united community it is generally wise to avoid talking about other people.
2. The Root of Lashon Hara
Maharal teaches (ch. 6) that susceptibility to lashon hara starts with self promotion, meaning a focus on other people's approval and managing our public image.
There are some signs that indicate when this is becoming problematic:
• We tend to be easily offended, or we quickly become defensive
• We tend to be critical of others
• We default towards the Actor-Observer Bias
3. Lashon Hara is Cloaked in Euphemism
People will often talk in ambiguous terms about certain situations that involve other people, without saying anything about them, that can indirectly implicate them. Maharal (ch. 7) demonstrates from our Sages (Talmud Yerushalmi Peah 1:1) that this is equivalent to lashon hara.
Some common euphemisms are:
• "People will draw their own conclusions"
• "I'm just asking questions"
• "People have the right to know"
• "I'm just saying it like it is"