2. AHAVA
Love the stranger
Offering wise love to that which is estranged within our hearts, within our communities, and within our histories
(יז) לֹ֣א תַטֶּ֔ה מִשְׁפַּ֖ט גֵּ֣ר...
(17) You shall not subvert the rights of the stranger...
Who is a Sodomite?
...הָוְיָא לְהוּ פּוּרְיְיתָא דַּהֲווֹ מַגְנִי עֲלַהּ אוֹרְחִין. כִּי מַאֲרֵיךְ – גָּיְיזִי לֵיהּ, כִּי גוּץ – מָתְחִין לֵיהּ...
...The Gemara discusses the sins of the people of Sodom: They had beds on which they would lay their guests; when a guest was longer than the bed they would cut him, and when a guest was shorter than the bed they would stretch him....
The stranger within
(א) כָּל הָעוֹלָם מָלֵא מַחֲלוֹקוֹת...
(ה) וְדַע, שֶׁהַכֹּל אֶחָד.
(ו) שֶׁהַמַּחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁבִּפְרָטִיּוּת בֵּין אִישׁ וּבֵיתוֹ וְכַיּוֹצֵא כַּנַּ"ל הוּא גַּם־כֵּן מַמָּשׁ הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁבֵּין הַמְּלָכִים וְהָאֻמּוֹת.
(ז) כִּי כָּל אֶחָד מֵאַנְשֵׁי בֵּיתוֹ, הוּא בְּחִינַת אֻמָּה מְיֻחֶדֶת וְהֵם מִתְגָּרִין זֶה עִם זֶה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ מִלְחָמוֹת בֵּין הָאֻמּוֹת...
(יב) כִּי הָאָדָם בְּעַצְמוֹ הוּא עוֹלָם קָטָן, וְנִכְלָל בּוֹ כָּל הָעוֹלָם וּמְלוֹאוֹ, מִכָּל־שֶׁכֵּן הָאָדָם וּבֵיתוֹ שֶׁנִּכְלָלִין בָּהֶם כָּל הָאֻמּוֹת וְנִלְחָמִין וּמִתְגָּרִין זֶה בָּזֶה כַּנַּ"ל.
(יג) וְעַל־כֵּן לִפְעָמִים כְּשֶׁאֶחָד יוֹשֵׁב לְבַדּוֹ בַּיַּעַר יָכוֹל לִהְיוֹת שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נַעֲשֶׂה מְשֻׁגָּע.
(יד) וְזֶה נַעֲשֶׂה מֵחֲמַת שֶׁהוּא לְבַדּוֹ וְנִכְלָלִין בּוֹ לְבַד כָּל הָאֻמּוֹת, וְהֵם מִתְגָּרִין זֶה בָּזֶה וְהוּא מֻכְרָח לְהִשְׁתַּנּוֹת בְּכָל פַּעַם לִבְחִינַת אֻמָּה אַחֶרֶת כְּפִי הִתְגַּבְּרוּת אֻמָּה עַל אֻמָּה שֶׁהֵם כֻּלָּם נִכְלָלִין בּוֹ לְבַדּוֹ. וּמֵחֲמַת זֶה יָכוֹל לְהִשְׁתַּגֵּעַ לְגַמְרֵי מֵחֲמַת הִתְהַפְּכוּת הַדֵּעוֹת שֶׁבּוֹ, עַל־יְדֵי הִתְגָּרוּת הָאֻמּוֹת שֶׁנִּכְלָלִין בּוֹ לְבַדּוֹ כַּנַּ"ל...
(1) The world is full of strife...
(5) All strife is identical.
(6) The friction within a family is a counterpart of the wars between nations.
(7) Each person in a household is the counterpart of a world power, and their quarrels are the wars between those powers...
(12) A person is a miniature world (Zohar III, 33b; Tikkuney Zohar #69, 100b). Their essence contains the world and everything in it. A person and their family contain the nations of the world, including all their battles.
(13) That's why there are times that a person sits by themselves in the forest and they can become insane.
(14) Within them are all the warring nations. Their personality at a particular time is that of the victorious nation. Each time a different nation is victorious, they must change since they play the roles of all the nations, and this can drive them insane. They are alone and cannot express the war within...
Dr. Richard C. Schwartz
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
How we relate in the inner world will be how we relate in the outer. If we can appreciate and have compassion for our parts, even for the ones we’ve considered to be enemies, we can do the same for people who resemble them. On the other hand, if we hate or disdain our parts, we’ll do the same with anyone who reminds us of them.
Carl Jung
Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.
The stranger within our communities
R' Jonathan Sacks
The Dignity of Difference: How to Avoid the Clash of Civilizations
“We encounter God in the face of a stranger. That, I believe, is the Hebrew Bible’s single greatest and most counterintuitive contribution to ethics. God creates difference; therefore it is in one-who-is-different that we meet god."
The stranger within our histories
a *very* partial list
Lilith: "Dangerous demon"? First woman who refused to submit
Asherah: "Idol worship"? Feminine face of the Divine beloved to ancient mothers and aunties
Shabbatai Tzvi and Sarah Ashkenazi: 17th century "false" messiah? Liberatory powerhouses---created first feminist movement in Western society
(לד) ה׳) א״ל המלאכים הממונים לרפואה סנוי סנסנוי סמנגלוף (11). כשברא הקב״ה אדם הראשון יחיד, אמר לא טוב היות האדם לבדו, ברא לו אשה מן האדמה כמוהו וקראה לילית, מיד התחילו מתגרין זה בזה, אמרה היא איני שוכבת למטה, והוא אומר איני שוכב למטה אלא למעלה שאת ראויה למטה ואני למעלה, אמרה לו שנינו שוין לפי ששנינו מאדמה, ולא היו שומעין זה לזה, כיון שראתה לילית אמרה שם המפורש ופרחה באויר העולם, עמד אדם בתפלה לפני קונו ואמר, רבש״ע אשה שנתת לי ברחה ממני, מיד שגר הקב״ה שלשה מלאכים הללו אחריה להחזירה, אמר לו הקב״ה אם תרצה לחזור מוטב, ואם לאו תקבל על עצמה שימותו מבניה בכל יום מאה בנים, עזבו אותה והלכו אחריה והשיגוה בתוך הים במים עזים שעתידין המצריים לטבוע בו וספרוה דבר ה' ולא רצתה לחזור, אמרו לה אנו נטביעך בים, אמרה להם הניחוני שלא נבראתי אלא להחליש התינוקות כשהן משמונה ימים מיום שיולד אשלוט בו אם הוא זכר, ואם נקבה מיום ילדותה עד עשרים יום. וכששמעו דבריה הפצירו לקחתה, נשבעת להם בשם אל חי וקיים שכל זמן שאני רואה אתכם או שמכם או תבניתכם בקמיע לא אשלוט באותו התינוק, וקבלה על עצמה שימותו מבניה מאה בכל יום, לפיכך בכל יום מתים מאה מן השדים, ולכך אנו כותבים שמותם בקמיע של נערים קטנים ורואה אותם וזוכרת השבועה ומתרפא הילד.
(34) ה He said to him, "The angels appointed for healing: Sanoy, Sansanoy, Semangalof. When the Holy Blessed One created the first Adam alone, They said, (Genesis 2:18) 'It is not good for this Adam to be alone.' They created for him a wife out of the Earth like he had been, and called her Lilith. Immediately they began to challenge each other. She said, 'I will not lie below,' and he said, 'I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.' Lilith responded, 'We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the Earth.' But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the world's air. Adam stood in prayer before his Creator and said, 'Sovereign of the universe! The woman you gave me has run away from me.' Immediately, the Holy Blessed One sent these three angels to bring her back. The Holy Blessed One said to Adam, 'If she agrees to come back, good. If not, she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day.' They departed and pursued her, and overtook her in the midst of the sea, in the mighty waters wherein the Egyptians would ultimately drown. They told her God's word, but she did not wish to return. The angels said, 'We shall drown you in the sea.' She said to them, 'Let me be. I was created only to cause illness to infants. I have dominion over them for eight days after birth if they are male, and if female, after birth for twenty days.' When the angels heard Lilith's words, they insisted on taking her. But she swore to them by the name of the living and eternal God, 'Whenever I see you or your names or your forms in an amulet, I will have no power over that infant.' She also agreed to have one hundred of her children die every day. Accordingly, every day one hundred demons perish, and for the same reason, we write their names on the amulets of young children, and she sees them, she remembers her oath, and the child is healed."
(ב) כְּתִיב, (דברים ט״ז:כ״א) לֹא תִטַּע לְךָ אֲשֵׁרָה כָּל עֵץ אֵצֶל מִזְבַּח יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר תַּעֲשֶׂה לָּךְ. אֵצֶל מִזְבַּח, וְכִי לְעֵילָא מִנֵּיהּ אוֹ בְּאֲתַר אָחֳרָא מָאן שַׁרְיָיה. אֶלָּא הָא אוֹקִימְנָא (קפ"ב ע"ב) אֲשֶׁר דָּא בַּעֲלָהּ דְּאִתְּתָא (ד"א ה"א) אִתְקְרִיאַת עַל שׁוּם בַּעֲלָהּ אֲשֵׁרָה... בְּגִין כָּךְ כְּתִיב לא תִטַּע לְךָ אֲשֵׁרָה כָּל עֵץ אֵצֶל מִזְבַּח יְיָ אֱלקֶיךָ... אִי הָכִי אַמַּאי אִתְעֲבַר שְׁמָא דָא. אֶלָּא אֲשֵׁרָה עַל שׁוּם דִּכְתִיב (בראשית ל׳:י״ג) בְּאָשְׁרִי כִּי אִשְׁרוּנִי בָנוֹת וְהוּא (ד"א הא) דְּלָא אַשְׁרוּהָ שְׁאָר עַמִּין וְקָיְימָא אָחֳרָא תְּחוֹתָהּ,...
It's written in Deuteronomy, ‘”You shall not plant for yourselves an Asherah or any kind of tree next to the altar of your God, YHVH, which/asher you shall make for yourselves.”
Are we to suppose that anywhere else it is permitted [to plant an Asherah]?
[Of course not!] The truth is that the "H’" [in God's name "YHVH'"] is called Asherah, after the name of its spouse, Asher...
The meaning of the verse is therefore: “You shall not plant another Asherah next to the altar of your God, YHVH, this[altar which is an Asherah].”
...If this is so (that Asherah is the name of the feminine aspect of God), why do we not commonly use is as a sacred name?
The reason is that this name brings to mind the words of [mother] Leah, “Happy am I, for the daughters will call me happy (ishruni), (Gen 30:13)” but [our people] are not “called happy” by other nations, and another nation is set up in its place...
HRK Jill Hammer's translation
Rabbi Jericho Vincent
Guest Post: The Messianic Feminism of Shabbatai Zevi and Sarah Ashkenazi; Life is a Sacred Text
...Shabbatai Tzvi and Sarah 1626-1676 Liberatory giants! A Sephardic/Ashkanazi duo of Kabbalists in Turkey who ran a wildly successful messianic campaign anchored in sensual embodiment and female liberation. After they were forced to convert to Islam on pain of death, Shabbatai Tzvi was maligned as a “false” messiah, but Shabbatai Tzvi and Sarah’s wisdom, courage, and ideas shaped the Chasidic and progressive Jewish movements that followed. We owe them a huge and unpaid debt of gratitude.
What is love?
(ז) רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אוֹמֵר (ויקרא יט, יח): וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, זֶה כְּלַל גָּדוֹל בַּתּוֹרָה, שֶׁלֹא תֹאמַר הוֹאִיל וְנִתְבַּזֵּיתִי יִתְבַּזֶה חֲבֵרִי עִמִּי, הוֹאִיל וְנִתְקַלַּלְתִּי יִתְקַלֵּל חֲבֵרִי עִמִּי. אָמַר רַבִּי תַּנְחוּמָא אִם עָשִׂיתָ כֵּן דַּע לְמִי אַתָּה מְבַזֶּה בִּדְמוּת אֱלֹהִים עָשָׂה אוֹתוֹ.
(7) Rabbi Akiva says: “Love your neighbors as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18) – this is the greatest principle of truth/Torah. You should not say: Since I have been disparaged, let someone else be disparaged along with me; since I was cursed, let someone else be cursed along with me. Rabbi Tanḥuma said: If you do act like that, know who it is that you are disgracing: “in the likeness of God He made him” (Genesis 5:1).
Rav Jericho Vincent
Love flourishes when the softness of the heart---chesed---and its capacities of openness, tenderness, and overflowing compassion, are well balanced with the strength of the spine---geveurah---strength, discernment, and boundaries.
(ג) ...רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא דְּאָמַר כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵין עִמָּהּ תּוֹכָחָה אֵינָהּ אַהֲבָה...
(3)Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥanina said: Any love that is not accompanied by reprimand is not [true] love...
Insecurity festers beneath your insults. I show you that joy and community are possible without compromise or self-denial. That threatens you because it is easier to believe that misery and loneliness are the only ways to live. Your wound is my garden, I have found life here in the places you have left for dead. Let’s bloom together. I love you.
PRACTICE
Be a beacon of love to the stranger.
INCANTATION
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ואהבת לרעך כמוך זה כלל גדול בתורה |
V’ahavta lah-rei’acha kamocha ze klal gadol batorah |
Love other people like you love yourself this is the greatest principle of truth |