How do we balance joy and grief while entering Adar?
How might we be feeling at this moment?
כִּי נָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן, פְּתַח עֲלֵיהּ רַבִּי יִצְחָק בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר: קָשֶׁה הַיּוֹם לְיִשְׂרָאֵל כְּיוֹם בֹּא הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ בַּצׇּהֳרַיִם, דִּכְתִיב: ״וְהָיָה בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא וְהֵבֵאתִי הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ בַּצׇּהֳרַיִם״.
When Rabbi Yoḥanan passed away, Rabbi Yitzḥak ben Elazar opened his eulogy for him as follows: Today is as difficult for the Jewish people as the day that the sun set at noon, as it is written: “And it shall come to pass on that day, says the Lord God, that I will cause the sun to go down at noon, and I will darken the earth in the clear day. And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning for an only son, and its end like a bitter day” (Amos 8:9–10).
Where does this tradition come from?
מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אָב מְמַעֲטִין בְּשִׂמְחָה וְכוּ׳. אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַב שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר שִׁילַת מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַב: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אָב מְמַעֲטִין בְּשִׂמְחָה — כָּךְ מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אֲדָר מַרְבִּין בְּשִׂמְחָה.
§ The mishna teaches that from when the month of Av begins, one decreases acts of rejoicing. Rav Yehuda, son of Rav Shmuel bar Sheilat, said in the name of Rav: Just as when Av begins one decreases rejoicing, so too when the month of Adar begins, one increases rejoicing.
משנכנס אדר – ימי נסים היו לישראל פורים ופסח:
Whoever enters Adar: Days of miracles - these were for the Jews - Purim and Pesach
How We Face This
איתא בת״ז הק' שפורים כיום הכיפורים, אפשר מרמז גם לזה, שכמו יוה״כ התענית והתשובה ביום זה, לא אם רוצה אותם האדם לעשותם עושה, רק בין אם רוצה בין לא, מקיימם מפני גזרת הקב״ה, כן גם שמחת פורים, לא רק אם האדם מעצמו בשמחה או עכ״פ במצב שיכול לשמח א״ע צריך הוא לשמח, רק גם אם הוא בשפלות ובשבירת הלב, המוח וכל רוחו נרמס, חוק הוא שצריך עכ״פ איזה ניצוץ של שמחה להכניס אל לבו.
It is found in the Tikkunei Zohar (57b:4) that Purim is like Yom Kippurim (an alternative way of referring to Yom Kippur). It could be that this also hints to the following: That just like on Yom Kippur, the fast and the repentance on that day are not [dependent] on whether a person wants to them; that he does them only then. Rather, whether one wants to or not, he has to do them because they are a decree of the Holy One, blessed be He. So too with the joy of Purim, it is not only if a person is joyful on his own, or at the very least is able to bring himself to joy, that he must rejoice. Rather, even if he is low and his heart is broken, his mind and all of his spirit trampled, it is a statute that he must, at the very least, bring a spark of happiness to his heart.
[ל]. מִצְוָה גְּדוֹלָה לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָּמִיד. וְצָרִיךְ לְהִתְגַּבֵּר מְאֹד בְּכָל הַכֹּחוֹת לְהַרְחִיק הָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה וְלִהְיוֹת אַךְ שָׂמֵחַ תָּמִיד, וְהוּא רְפוּאָה לְכָל מִינֵי חוֹלַאַת. כִּי כָּל מִינֵי חוֹלַאַת בָּאִין מֵעַצְבוּת וּמָרָה שְׁחֹרָה, וְצָרִיךְ לְשַׂמֵּחַ אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּכָל מִינֵי עֵצוֹת, וְעַל פִּי רֹב עַל־יְדֵי מִלֵּי דִּשְׁטוּתָא דַּיְקָא כַּנַּ"ל: (לק"ת סי' כ"ד) [לא]. צְרִיכִין לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל לַהֲפֹךְ כָּל הָעַצְבוּת וְהַדְּאָגוֹת לְשִׂמְחָה. וְדַעַת לְנָבוֹן נָקֵל לִמְצֹא בְּכָל הַצָּרוֹת וְהַיִּסּוּרִין וְהַדְּאָגוֹת אֵיזֶה הַרְחָבָה, שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי זֶה יָכוֹל לַהֲפֹךְ כָּל הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרוֹת לְשִׂמְחָה (וְעַיֵּן בְּמָקוֹם אַחֵר מִזֶּה, כִּי אֵין כָּאן מְקוֹמוֹ לְהַאֲרִיךְ). וְזֶה עִקַּר שְׁלֵמוּת הַשִּׂמְחָה, כְּשֶׁמִּתְגַּבְּרִין עַל הַמָּרָה שְׁחֹרָה וְהָעַצְבוּת וְחוֹטְפִין אוֹתָם לְתוֹךְ הַשִּׂמְחָה בְּעַל כָּרְחָם, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁמְּהַפְּכִין אוֹתָם לְשִׂמְחָה כַּנַּ"ל: (לק"ת סי' כ"ג)
It is a great mitzva to be happy at all times. Be determined to keep away from depression and aim to be happy constantly. Happiness is the remedy for all kinds of diseases — because many illnesses are caused by depression. You must be resourceful in order to make yourself happy. Often you must do something a little bit crazy in order to make yourself happy (24). Try hard to turn your very depression and worry into joy. If you really set your mind to it, you will easily find that even amidst the worst troubles and suffering there is an opening which you can use to convert all the depression into joy. True joy is when you drag your darkness and depression even against their will and force them to turn into happiness (23).
Tales of Hasidism (Martin Buber), p.231
The Rebbe was asked: What is the right way, that of sorrow or that of joy?
He answered: There are two kinds of sorrow and two kinds of joy. When a person broods over the misfortunes that have come upon him, when he cowers in a corner and despairs that is a bad kind of sorrow. The other kind is the honest kind of grief of a person who knows what they lack.
The same is true of joy. One who is devoid of inner substance and, in the midst of empty pleasures, does not feel it, nor tries to fill their lack, is a fool. But one who is truly joyful is like a person whose house has burned down, who feels their need deep in their soul and begins to build anew. Over every stone that is laid, their heart rejoices.”
מוּטָב לָאָדָם לְהַרְבּוֹת בְּמַתְּנוֹת אֶבְיוֹנִים מִלְּהַרְבּוֹת בִּסְעֻדָּתוֹ וּבְשִׁלּוּחַ מָנוֹת לְרֵעָיו. שֶׁאֵין שָׁם שִׂמְחָה גְּדוֹלָה וּמְפֹאָרָה אֶלָּא לְשַׂמֵּחַ לֵב עֲנִיִּים וִיתוֹמִים וְאַלְמָנוֹת וְגֵרִים. שֶׁהַמְשַׂמֵּחַ לֵב הָאֻמְלָלִים הָאֵלּוּ דּוֹמֶה לַשְּׁכִינָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נז טו) "לְהַחֲיוֹת רוּחַ שְׁפָלִים וּלְהַחֲיוֹת לֵב נִדְכָּאִים":
It is preferable for a person to be more liberal with his donations to the poor than to be lavish in his preparation of the Purim feast or in sending portions to his friends. For there is no greater and more splendid happiness than to gladden the hearts of the poor, the orphans, the widows, and the converts. One who brings happiness to the hearts of these unfortunate individuals resembles the Divine Presence, which Isaiah 57:15 describes as having the tendency "to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive those with broken hearts."