Can You "Honor Your Father and Mother" When They Have Alzheimer's?" Rambam vs. Ra'avad, et al.

(1) The commandment to honor father and mother: To honor father and mother, as it is stated (Exodus 20:12), “You shall honor your father and your mother.” And the explanation (Kiddushin 31b) comes to [define it], “What does it mean to ‘honor’? To feed, give drink, dress, bring in, and take out.”

(2) From the roots of this commandment is that it is fitting for a person to acknowledge and return kindness to people who were good to him, and not to be an ungrateful scoundrel, because that is a bad and repulsive attribute before God and people. And he should take to heart that the father and the mother are the cause of his being in the world; and hence it is truly fitting to honor them in every way and give every benefit he can to them, because they brought him to the world, and worked hard for him when he was little. And once he fixes this idea in his soul, he will move up from it to recognize the good of God, blessed be He, Who is his cause and the cause of all his ancestors until the first man (Adam), and that He took him out into the world’s air, and fulfilled his needs every day, and made his body strong and able to stand, and gave him a mind that knows and learns — for without the mind that God granted him, he would be “like a horse or a mule who does not understand.” And he should think at length about how very fitting it is to be careful in his worship of the Blessed be He.

(10) When a person's father or mother lose control of their mental faculties, their son should try to conduct his relationship with them according to their mental condition until God has mercy upon them. If it is impossible for him to remain with them because they have become very deranged, he should leave them, depart, and charge others with caring for them in an appropriate manner.

This is not a correct ruling! If he goes and leaves him, who shall he command to watch him?!

Rav Asi had an elderly mother. She said to him: I want jewelry, and he made jewelry for her. She said to him: I want a man whom I can marry, and he said to her: I will seek one for you. She said to him: I want a husband who is as handsome as you. At this point, he realized that she was senile, and that he would be unable to fulfill all her requests. Therefore, he left her and went to Eretz Yisrael. Rav Asi heard that she was following him to Eretz Yisrael. He came before Rabbi Yoḥanan and said to him: What is the halakha with regard to leaving Eretz Yisrael to go outside of Eretz Yisrael? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: It is prohibited. Rav Asi further asked: If one is going to greet his mother, what is the halakha? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I do not know. Rav Asi waited a little while, and then came back to him. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Asi, you are evidently determined to leave. May the Omnipresent return you in peace, and he said no more. Rav Asi came before Rabbi Elazar, because he did not know how to interpret Rabbi Yoḥanan’s statement. He said to Rabbi Elazar: God forbid, perhaps he is angry with me that I wished to leave? Rabbi Elazar said to him: What exactly did he say to you? Rav Asi said to him: May the Omnipresent return you in peace. Rabbi Elazar said to him: If it is so that he was angry, he would not have blessed you. Rabbi Yoḥanan certainly gave you permission to leave. In the meantime, while he was traveling to meet her, Rav Asi heard that her coffin was coming, i.e., his mother had died and her coffin was being brought to Eretz Yisrael. He said: Had I known I would not have left, as after his mother’s death he was not obligated to leave Eretz Yisrael to honor her.

RADVAZ: ....I do not know why the Ra'abad wrote that "this is not a correct decision." Since Rav Asi acted himself [in this way], how would he leave [his mother]. Rather, for sure he charged others to attend to her and this is her [proper] treatment. For she has a special relationship with her son, and she does not fear him, unlike strangers [who do]. For he cannot chastise/yell at her, whereas others could. Possibly from this harsh treatment (lit."blow"), she would regress from her illness/foolishness. There are daily occurrences such as this. It is impossible for the son to do something like this.