This week’s parasha is Parashat VaYishlach. It begins with Jacob getting ready to confront Esav, his twin brother (when we last saw him in the parasha he wanted to kill Jacob for “stealing” his birthright). Jacob is very nervous about meeting his brother again after years of hostility and fear of one another. Jacob decides in this troublesome time to cry out to G-d and to pray for his safety. He praises G-d for everything He has done for Jacob so far and asks Him to continue acting in this way. He says:
Beresheit 32:12
יב הַצִּילֵנִי נָא מִיַּד אָחִי, מִיַּד עֵשָׂו: כִּי-יָרֵא אָנֹכִי, אֹתוֹ--פֶּן-יָבוֹא וְהִכַּנִי, אֵם עַל-בָּנִים. | 12 Deliver me, I pray Thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and smite me, the mother with the children |
Jacob pleads to G-d not only to save himself from Esav, but also save his entire family, as it says the the pasuk: “eim al banim/the mother with the children.” This phrase “eim al banim” is fairly unusual- why couldn’t Jacob just say a word that is usually used to describe family such as mishpacha?
In Parashat VaTeitzei - the parasha with the most mitzvot commanded in it - in Devarim 22:6-7, we read about a very interesting mitzvah regarding collecting eggs from a nest. It reads:
Devarim 22:6-7
ו כִּי יִקָּרֵא קַן-צִפּוֹר לְפָנֶיךָ בַּדֶּרֶךְ בְּכָל-עֵץ אוֹ עַל-הָאָרֶץ, אֶפְרֹחִים אוֹ בֵיצִים, וְהָאֵם רֹבֶצֶת עַל-הָאֶפְרֹחִים, אוֹ עַל-הַבֵּיצִים--לֹא-תִקַּח הָאֵם, עַל-הַבָּנִים. | 6 If a bird's nest chance to be before thee in the way, in any tree or on the ground, with young ones or eggs, and the dam sitting upon the young, or upon the eggs, thou shalt not take the dam with the young; |
ז שַׁלֵּחַ תְּשַׁלַּח אֶת-הָאֵם, וְאֶת-הַבָּנִים תִּקַּח-לָךְ, לְמַעַן יִיטַב לָךְ, וְהַאֲרַכְתָּ יָמִים. {ס} | 7 thou shalt in any wise let the dam go, but the young thou mayest take unto thyself; that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days. |
A very similar phrase, “haeim al habanim/dam (mother bird) with the young,” is used to describe this commandment- you cannot take the eggs from the nest while the mother bird is still present. This is probably because, although eggs might be a necessary food source for you, it is still painful for the mother bird to watch her eggs or future children being taken away from her. This mitzvah is so important, that fulfilling it will grant long life.
I would like to suggest that the “haeim al habanim” from Devarim and the “eim al banim” from Jacob’s prayer to G-d are connected. Like a protective bird parent, Jacob does not necessarily care for the safety of himself, but also that of his children- he would not be able to bear watching his children be hurt in front of him. Jacob understood how important children and the value of family truly was and he wanted to secure those values before meeting with Esav.
Jacob can be a reminder to us to remember how important family is.
Shabbat Shalom