(ח) וְהִגַּדְתָּ֣ לְבִנְךָ֔ בַּיּ֥וֹם הַה֖וּא לֵאמֹ֑ר בַּעֲב֣וּר זֶ֗ה עָשָׂ֤ה יְהוָה֙ לִ֔י בְּצֵאתִ֖י מִמִּצְרָֽיִם׃
(8) And you shall explain to your son on that day, ‘It is because of what the LORD did for me when I went free from Egypt.’
(יד) וְהָיָ֞ה כִּֽי־יִשְׁאָלְךָ֥ בִנְךָ֛ מָחָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֣ר מַה־זֹּ֑את וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֵלָ֔יו בְּחֹ֣זֶק יָ֗ד הוֹצִיאָ֧נוּ יְהוָ֛ה מִמִּצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֥ית עֲבָדִֽים׃
(14) And when, in time to come, your son asks you, saying, ‘What does this mean?’ you shall say to him, ‘It was with a mighty hand that the LORD brought us out from Egypt, the house of bondage.
(כ) כִּֽי־יִשְׁאָלְךָ֥ בִנְךָ֛ מָחָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֑ר מָ֣ה הָעֵדֹ֗ת וְהַֽחֻקִּים֙ וְהַמִּשְׁפָּטִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר צִוָּ֛ה יְהוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ אֶתְכֶֽם׃
(20) When, in time to come, your children ask you, “What mean the decrees, laws, and rules that the LORD our God has enjoined upon you?”
() לספר ביציאת מצריים בלילה הראשון של חג המצות, שנאמר: "והגדת לבנך" (שמות יג,ח).
(undefined) 157. To tell the story of the exit is from Egypt on the first night of the festival of the Matzot as it says “and you shall tell your children” (Shemot 13:8)
(א) מצות ספור יציאת מצרים - לספר בענין יציאת מצרים בליל ט''ו בניסן, כל אחד כפי צחות לשונו, ולהלל ולשבח לשם יתברך על כל הנסים שעשה לנו שם. שנאמר (שמות יג ח) והגדת לבנך. וכבר פרשו חכמים, (מכילתא בא שם) דמצות הגדה זו הוא בליל ט''ו בניסן בשעת אכילת מצה. ומה שאמר הכתוב לבנך, לאו דוקא בנו, (פסחים קטז, א) אלא אפילו עם כל בריה.
(1) The Obligation to Recount the Exodus From Egypt--We are commanded to discuss the topic of the Exodus from Egypt on the night of the fifteenth of Nissan (the first night of Pesach). This doesn't require recitation of a specific formula; rather each person should discuss the topic according to his own power of expression; as part of this discussion, we also are commanded to laud and to praise Hashem, blessed be He, for all the miracles He performed for us there; as it is stated (Exodus 13:8), "And you shall tell your son" etc. Although the verse doesn't specify when this should be done, the Sages have already explained (Mechilta to the verse) that this obligation of retelling the events of the Exodus is applicable on the night of the fifteenth of Nissan, which is the time of the eating of the matzah. The Sages further explain (Mechilta of R' Shimon bar Yochai to the verse), regarding that which the verse states, "[and you shall tell] your son", that it does not mean that the mitzvah applies exclusively to relating these matters to one's son; rather, one can fulfill his obligation by discussing the Exodus even with any other person.
(יד) וְהָיָ֞ה כִּֽי־יִשְׁאָלְךָ֥ בִנְךָ֛ מָחָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֣ר מַה־זֹּ֑את וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֵלָ֔יו בְּחֹ֣זֶק יָ֗ד הוֹצִיאָ֧נוּ יְהוָ֛ה מִמִּצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֥ית עֲבָדִֽים׃
(14) And when, in time to come, your son asks you, saying, ‘What does this mean?’ you shall say to him, ‘It was with a mighty hand that the LORD brought us out from Egypt, the house of bondage.
(14) מה זאת WHAT IS THIS? — This is the question of a dull child who has not sufficient understanding to question very profoundly and who therefore asks in an indefinite fashion, “What is this?” In another passage (Deuteronomy 6:20) it states, “[When thy son asketh thee…], What mean the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments … [which the Lord our God hath commanded you?]” This, however, is the question of a wise son. The Torah in mentioning four different explanations of the Passover sacrifice-rite to be given by a father to his children, is speaking in reference to four different types of son: the wicked son (12:25 and in the second half of 13:8), and one who has not sufficient understanding how to ask (in the first half of 13:8), and one who asks in an indefinite manner (13:14), and one who asks in a wise fashion (Deuteronomy 6:20) (cf. Mekhilta d'Rabbi Yishmael 13:14:1; Jerusalem Talmud Pesachim 10:4).
בָּרוּךְ הַמָּקוֹם, בָּרוּךְ הוּא, בָּרוּךְ שֶׁנָּתַן תּוֹרָה לְעַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל, בָּרוּךְ הוּא. כְּנֶגֶד אַרְבָּעָה בָנִים דִּבְּרָה תוֹרָה: אֶחָד חָכָם, וְאֶחָד רָשָׁע, וְאֶחָד תָּם, וְאֶחָד שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ לִשְׁאוֹל.
Blessed is the Place [of all], Blessed is He; Blessed is the One who Gave the Torah to His people Israel, Blessed is He. Corresponding to four sons did the Torah speak; one [who is] wise, one [who is] evil, one who is innocent and one who doesn't know to ask.
חָכָם מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מָה הָעֵדוֹת וְהַחֻקִּים וְהַמִּשְׁפָּטִים אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ אֶתְכֶם. וְאַף אַתָּה אֱמוֹר לוֹ כְּהִלְכוֹת הַפֶּסַח: אֵין מַפְטִירִין אַחַר הַפֶּסַח אֲפִיקוֹמָן:
What does the wise [son] say? "'What are these testimonies, statutes and judgments that the Lord our God commanded you?' (Deuteronomy 6:20)" And accordingly you will say to him, as per the laws of the Pesach sacrifice, "We may not eat an afikoman [a dessert or other foods eaten after the meal] after [we are finished eating] the Pesach sacrifice. (Mishnah Pesachim 10:8)"
רָשָׁע מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מָה הָעֲבוֹדָה הַזּאֹת לָכֶם. לָכֶם - וְלֹא לוֹ. וּלְפִי שֶׁהוֹצִיא אֶת עַצְמוֹ מִן הַכְּלָל כָּפַר בְּעִקָּר. וְאַף אַתָּה הַקְהֵה אֶת שִׁנָּיו וֶאֱמוֹר לוֹ: "בַּעֲבוּר זֶה עָשָׂה ה' לִי בְּצֵאתִי מִמִּצְרָיִם". לִי וְלֹא-לוֹ. אִלּוּ הָיָה שָׁם, לֹא הָיָה נִגְאָל:
What does the evil [son] say? "'What is this worship to you?' (Exodus 12:26)" 'To you' and not 'to him.' And since he excluded himself from the collective, he denied a principle [of the Jewish faith]. And accordingly, you will blunt his teeth and say to him, "'For the sake of this, did the Lord do [this] for me in my going out of Egypt' (Exodus 13:8)." 'For me' and not 'for him.' If he had been there, he would not have been saved.
תָּם מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מַה זּאֹת? וְאָמַרְתָּ אֵלָיו "בְּחוֹזֶק יָד הוֹצִיאָנוּ ה' מִמִּצְרַיִם מִבֵּית עֲבָדִים".
What does the innocent [son] say? "'What is this?' (Exodus13:14)" And you will say to him, "'With the strength of [His] hand did the Lord take us out from Egypt, from the house of slaves' (Exodus 13:14).'"
וְשֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ לִשְׁאוֹל - אַתְּ פְּתַח לוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, וְהִגַּדְתָּ לְבִנְךָ בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא לֵאמֹר, בַּעֲבוּר זֶה עָשָׂה ה' לִי בְּצֵאתִי מִמִּצְרָיִם.
And [regarding] the one who doesn't know to ask, you will open [the conversation] for him. As it is stated (Exodus 13:8), "And you will speak to your your son on that day saying, for the sake of this, did the Lord do [this] for me in my going out of Egypt."
The wise one, what does he say? "What are the testimonies, the statutes and the laws which G‑d, our L-rd, has commanded you?" You, in turn, shall instruct him [all] the laws of Passover[up to] "one is not to eat any dessert after the Paschal lamb."
While the adults are trying to have a nice conversation about "important" matters, this "disrespectful" rascal keeps on interruptingThe Haggadah points out that this child isn't disrespectful or a nudge. She is wise. Always remember your real priorities. Your child is your greatest and most important responsibility, and nothing will turn off a child more than a parent or teacher who doesn't treat their questions with proper respect.
Answer your child. Answer every detail. If you don't know the answer, ask your rabbi. Otherwise you might, G‑d forbid end up with…
The wicked one, what does he say? "What is this service to you?!" He says 'to you', but not to him! By thus excluding himself from the community he has denied that which is fundamental. You, therefore, must blunt his teeth and say to him: "'It is because of this that G‑d did for me when I left Egypt';1 'for me' — but not for him! If he had been there, he would not have been redeemed!"
This child asks a seemingly innocent question. Only careful examination of the language of the question reveals the problem.
When we are asked a question, our natural instinct is to answer the question. The Haggadah tells us that sometimes it is more important to address the questioner than to answer the question; but this can only be done if the parent/teacher is really listening to the child, even paying attention to the wording of the question. Obviously the question must also be answered in full detail, this we already learned from the previous section which teaches us how to respond to the wise child, but that is of secondary importance.
We inform the "wicked" son that if he would've been there, in Egypt, he would not have been redeemed. But now is different. Since the Torah was given at Mount Sinai every Jew has a G‑dly soul and, like it or not, will be redeemed with all his brethren when Moshiach comes. This hopefully "blunts his teeth," allowing him to realize that it is useless to try to bite and attack, because this, the Seder table, is his very special destiny.
The simpleton, what does he say? "What is this?" Thus you shall say to him: "G‑d took us out of Egypt, from the house of slaves, with a strong hand."
This child is asking a quite simple question. Many times a child will ask such a question because she isn't looking for a detailed technical response. Instead, this child is sitting at the Seder table and wondering: "Why is everyone so excited? Why does everyone gather, year after year, to celebrate an event which occurred many thousands of years ago? What is this?"
Such a question—which isn't so simple after all—deserves a response in kind. Don't bog down the child with the laws of grating the maror and the secret of charoset, that's not what she's looking for.
Sometimes it is more important to address the questioner than to answer the questionTell her that it's fine to be excited and enthused about Judaism because we have a great G‑d with a mighty hand who again and again delivers us from the hands of our enemies. This is the miraculous story of a people who have had as many enemies as there were civilizations, and G‑d's strong hand remains steady.
In other words, the parent/educator cannot suffice with transmitting information. It is necessary to imbue our children with a love for G‑d and a passion for serving Him.
As for the one who does not know (how) to ask, you must initiate him, as it is said: "You shall tell your child on that day, 'It is because of this that G‑d did for me when I left Egypt.'"
This child is not one who is "too obtuse to ask." Nor is he "unwilling to ask." He simply does not know that he is supposed to ask. He is used to processing all the information that his parents and teachers constantly throw in his direction; but he is not used to using his own mind, to scrutinize, analyze and question. This is actually a quite common phenomenon—even amongst very intelligent children.
The Haggadah tells us that if a child does not know to ask you must realize that (at least partially) the blame lies with you; for you have not initiated the child in the art of thinking.
The solution is to compel him to think. Tell him that "It is because of this that G‑d did for me when I left Egypt.'" Such a blank statement, which on the surface makes no sense, is certain to elicit a barrage of questions from any child: "Daddy, on which day are you supposed to tell this to your child?" "Mommy, because of what did G‑d do for you?" Rabbi, what did G‑d do for you?"
The ultimate educator is one who internalizes the message of the Four Sons:
- Answers all questions; never trivializing the importance of a child's curiosity.
- Not only answers the question, but also addresses the—unspoken—issues bothering the questioner.
- Permeates the children with a zeal for G‑d and Torah.
- Coaches them to think on their own.