Review of Chayyai Sarah
Outline of Parashat Chayei Sarah
- Sarah dies; Abraham negotiates to purchase a plot of land in whch to bury her
- Abraham asks his servant to find a wife for Isaac
- The servant meets a generous, beautiful woman named Rebecca, who agrees to marry Isaac
- Rebecca and Isaac meet and wed; Rebecca moves into Sarah's tent
- Abraham marres Keturah, and discussion of his decendants
- Abraham dies. Isaac and Ishmael bury him together.
Rabbi Jennifer Gubitz, "M'nuchat HaNefesh--Equanimity: Calming the Soul And the Storms of Life" in Block, Rabbi Barry H. The Mussar Torah Commentary
In tracing Isaac’s life throughout Genesis—from the Akeidah to the moment when Rebekah “alights” from her camel, literally “falling” in love with him, until his dying breath at the end of Genesis 35— we wonder: how does Isaac endure a life that vacillates between joy and deep pain, comfort and trauma, loss and love? We might ask if and how he is able to maintain “equanimity” ((מְנוּחַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ, m’nuchat hanefesh) during his soul-stirring life journey? What can we moderns learn from his life as we face the highs and lows of being human? And what are the ways the Mussar value of equanimity can sustain us, as well?
Mussar scholars describe the middah of equanimity with various Hebrew terms: m’nuchat hanefesh (“calmness of the soul”), yishuv hada’at (יִשּׁוּב הַדַּעַת, “a settled mind”), or shalvah (שַׁלְוָה, “serenity”). It is a state of being through which a person can face any situation—from turmoil to tranquility—without being moved from the centered self. Like a surfer in the ocean, no matter the destabilizing waves splashing and smashing down around us, one with attuned equanimity is anchored by a stable inner core.
In tracing Isaac’s life throughout Genesis—from the Akeidah to the moment when Rebekah “alights” from her camel, literally “falling” in love with him, until his dying breath at the end of Genesis 35— we wonder: how does Isaac endure a life that vacillates between joy and deep pain, comfort and trauma, loss and love? We might ask if and how he is able to maintain “equanimity” ((מְנוּחַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ, m’nuchat hanefesh) during his soul-stirring life journey? What can we moderns learn from his life as we face the highs and lows of being human? And what are the ways the Mussar value of equanimity can sustain us, as well?
Mussar scholars describe the middah of equanimity with various Hebrew terms: m’nuchat hanefesh (“calmness of the soul”), yishuv hada’at (יִשּׁוּב הַדַּעַת, “a settled mind”), or shalvah (שַׁלְוָה, “serenity”). It is a state of being through which a person can face any situation—from turmoil to tranquility—without being moved from the centered self. Like a surfer in the ocean, no matter the destabilizing waves splashing and smashing down around us, one with attuned equanimity is anchored by a stable inner core.
Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness
Jewish sources use several terms to name the soul-trait of undisturbed equanimity, the most descriptive of which is menuchat hanafesh, calmness of the soul. The Mussar teachers see the importance of a calm soul, but they don't see that inner state as a final station called "Peace and Tranquility" where the journey ends, even as life continues. Instead, they view equanimity as an inner balance that coexists with a world and an experience that accepts turbulence and even turmoil, because that's just the way life is.
In the Jewish view, the goal of spiritual life is not to reach an enlightened state in which all the questions and conundrums of life are unknotted with finality, but rather to become much more skilled at the processes of living. This view applies fully to the soul-trait of equanimity, which does not spell the end of our struggles, rather is an inner quality we can cultivate to equip ourselves to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Jewish sources use several terms to name the soul-trait of undisturbed equanimity, the most descriptive of which is menuchat hanafesh, calmness of the soul. The Mussar teachers see the importance of a calm soul, but they don't see that inner state as a final station called "Peace and Tranquility" where the journey ends, even as life continues. Instead, they view equanimity as an inner balance that coexists with a world and an experience that accepts turbulence and even turmoil, because that's just the way life is.
In the Jewish view, the goal of spiritual life is not to reach an enlightened state in which all the questions and conundrums of life are unknotted with finality, but rather to become much more skilled at the processes of living. This view applies fully to the soul-trait of equanimity, which does not spell the end of our struggles, rather is an inner quality we can cultivate to equip ourselves to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life.
(ט) וַיָּבֹ֗אוּ אֶֽל־הַמָּקוֹם֮ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָֽמַר־ל֣וֹ הָאֱלֹהִים֒ וַיִּ֨בֶן שָׁ֤ם אַבְרָהָם֙ אֶת־הַמִּזְבֵּ֔חַ וַֽיַּעֲרֹ֖ךְ אֶת־הָעֵצִ֑ים וַֽיַּעֲקֹד֙ אֶת־יִצְחָ֣ק בְּנ֔וֹ וַיָּ֤שֶׂם אֹתוֹ֙ עַל־הַמִּזְבֵּ֔חַ מִמַּ֖עַל לָעֵצִֽים׃ (י) וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח אַבְרָהָם֙ אֶת־יָד֔וֹ וַיִּקַּ֖ח אֶת־הַֽמַּאֲכֶ֑לֶת לִשְׁחֹ֖ט אֶת־בְּנֽוֹ׃
(9) They arrived at the place of which God had told him. Abraham built an altar there; he laid out the wood; he bound his son Isaac; he laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. (10) And Abraham picked up the knife to slay his son.
(סג) וַיֵּצֵ֥א יִצְחָ֛ק לָשׂ֥וּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶ֖ה לִפְנ֣וֹת עָ֑רֶב וַיִּשָּׂ֤א עֵינָיו֙ וַיַּ֔רְא וְהִנֵּ֥ה גְמַלִּ֖ים בָּאִֽים׃
(63) And Isaac went out walking/to meditate in the field toward evening and, looking up, he saw camels approaching.
(ד) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה רְצוֹנוֹ כִרְצוֹנְךָ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה רְצוֹנְךָ כִרְצוֹנוֹ. בַּטֵּל רְצוֹנְךָ מִפְּנֵי רְצוֹנוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּבַטֵּל רְצוֹן אֲחֵרִים מִפְּנֵי רְצוֹנֶךָ.
Align your will with the Divine will, so that the Divine will align with yours. Set aside your desires for the sake of the Divine will, so that others’ desires will be set aside for yours.
(א) מַֽעֲנֶה־רַּ֭ךְ יָשִׁ֣יב חֵמָ֑ה וּדְבַר־עֶ֝֗צֶב יַעֲלֶה־אָֽף׃
(1) A gentle response allays wrath;
A harsh word provokes anger.
A harsh word provokes anger.
תִּתְנַהֵג תָּמִיד לְדַבֵּר כָּל דְּבָרֶיךָ בְּנַחַת, לְכָל אָדָם וּבְכָל עֵת, וּבַזֶּה תִּנָּצֵל מִן הַכַּעַס, שֶׁהִיא מִדָּה רָעָה לְהַחְטִיא בְּנֵי אָדָם. וְכֵן אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ ז"ל (נדרים כב ע"א): כָּל הַכּוֹעֵס – כָּל מִינֵי גֵיהִנּוֹם שׁוֹלְטִים בּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (קהלת יא י): "וְהָסֵר כַּעַס מִלִּבֶּךָ, וְהַעֲבֵר רָעָה מִבְּשָׂרֶךָ". וְאֵין "רָעָה" אֶלָּא גֵיהִנּוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי טז ד): "וְגַם רָשָׁע לְיוֹם רָעָה".
Accustom yourself to always speak all of your words calmly, to every man and at every time. In doing so you will prevent your anger from flaring, which is a bad attribute in a man which may cause him to sin. And accordingly said our Rabbis, may their memories be a blessing: (Nedarim 22a) "Anyone who gets angry - all of Gehinnom holds sway over him, as it says: (Kohelet 11:10) 'And remove the anger from your heart, and take away the bad from your flesh', and 'bad' can only mean Gehinnom, as it says (Proverbs 16:4): 'And the sinner, he too, will have his day of bad'."
(ח) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר אִתָּ֖ם לֵאמֹ֑ר אִם־יֵ֣שׁ אֶֽת־נַפְשְׁכֶ֗ם לִקְבֹּ֤ר אֶת־מֵתִי֙ מִלְּפָנַ֔י שְׁמָע֕וּנִי וּפִגְעוּ־לִ֖י בְּעֶפְר֥וֹן בֶּן־צֹֽחַר׃ (ט) וְיִתֶּן־לִ֗י אֶת־מְעָרַ֤ת הַמַּכְפֵּלָה֙ אֲשֶׁר־ל֔וֹ אֲשֶׁ֖ר בִּקְצֵ֣ה שָׂדֵ֑הוּ בְּכֶ֨סֶף מָלֵ֜א יִתְּנֶ֥נָּה לִּ֛י בְּתוֹכְכֶ֖ם לַאֲחֻזַּת־קָֽבֶר׃ (י) וְעֶפְר֥וֹן יֹשֵׁ֖ב בְּת֣וֹךְ בְּנֵי־חֵ֑ת וַיַּ֩עַן֩ עֶפְר֨וֹן הַחִתִּ֤י אֶת־אַבְרָהָם֙ בְּאׇזְנֵ֣י בְנֵי־חֵ֔ת לְכֹ֛ל בָּאֵ֥י שַֽׁעַר־עִיר֖וֹ לֵאמֹֽר׃ (יא) לֹֽא־אֲדֹנִ֣י שְׁמָעֵ֔נִי הַשָּׂדֶה֙ נָתַ֣תִּי לָ֔ךְ וְהַמְּעָרָ֥ה אֲשֶׁר־בּ֖וֹ לְךָ֣ נְתַתִּ֑יהָ לְעֵינֵ֧י בְנֵי־עַמִּ֛י נְתַתִּ֥יהָ לָּ֖ךְ קְבֹ֥ר מֵתֶֽךָ׃ (יב) וַיִּשְׁתַּ֙חוּ֙ אַבְרָהָ֔ם לִפְנֵ֖י עַ֥ם הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (יג) וַיְדַבֵּ֨ר אֶל־עֶפְר֜וֹן בְּאׇזְנֵ֤י עַם־הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אַ֛ךְ אִם־אַתָּ֥ה ל֖וּ שְׁמָעֵ֑נִי נָתַ֜תִּי כֶּ֤סֶף הַשָּׂדֶה֙ קַ֣ח מִמֶּ֔נִּי וְאֶקְבְּרָ֥ה אֶת־מֵתִ֖י שָֽׁמָּה׃ (יד) וַיַּ֧עַן עֶפְר֛וֹן אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֖ם לֵאמֹ֥ר לֽוֹ׃ (טו) אֲדֹנִ֣י שְׁמָעֵ֔נִי אֶ֩רֶץ֩ אַרְבַּ֨ע מֵאֹ֧ת שֶֽׁקֶל־כֶּ֛סֶף בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵֽינְךָ֖ מַה־הִ֑וא וְאֶת־מֵתְךָ֖ קְבֹֽר׃ (טז) וַיִּשְׁמַ֣ע אַבְרָהָם֮ אֶל־עֶפְרוֹן֒ וַיִּשְׁקֹ֤ל אַבְרָהָם֙ לְעֶפְרֹ֔ן אֶת־הַכֶּ֕סֶף אֲשֶׁ֥ר דִּבֶּ֖ר בְּאׇזְנֵ֣י בְנֵי־חֵ֑ת אַרְבַּ֤ע מֵאוֹת֙ שֶׁ֣קֶל כֶּ֔סֶף עֹבֵ֖ר לַסֹּחֵֽר׃
(8) He said to them, “If it is your wish that I remove my dead for burial, you must agree to intercede for me with Ephron son of Zohar. (9) Let him sell me the cave of Machpelah that he owns, which is at the edge of his land. Let him sell it to me, at the full price, for a burial site in your midst.” (10) Ephron was present among the Hittites; so Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the hearing of the Hittites, the assembly in his town’s gate saying, (11) “No, my lord, hear me: I give you the field and I give you the cave that is in it; I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.” (12) Then Abraham bowed low before the landowning citizens, (13) and spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the landowning citizens, saying, “If only you would hear me out! Let me pay the price of the land; accept it from me, that I may bury my dead there.” (14) And Ephron replied to Abraham, saying to him, (15) “My lord, do hear me! A piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver—what is that between you and me? Go and bury your dead.” (16) Abraham accepted Ephron’s terms. Abraham paid out to Ephron the money that he had named in the hearing of the Hittites—four hundred shekels of silver at the going merchants’ rate.
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, Orot HaKodesh 2:444
הַשַּׁלְוָה הַפְּנִימִית, אֵינָהּ תּוֹלָדָה שֶׁל חֹסֶר חִיוּת, אֶלָּא דָּוְקָא עֹמֶק רַב שֶׁל חַיִּים מְלֵאִים מְשַׁלְּבִים אֶת הַחַיִּים בִּמְנוּחָה וּבַכְּלִילוּת מַתְאִימָה.
Inner tranquility is not a result of lack of vitality, but rather the deep fullness of a life that harmoniously integrates rest and completeness.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: לְעוֹלָם יְהֵא אָדָם עַנְוְותָן כְּהִלֵּל וְאַל יְהֵא קַפְּדָן כְּשַׁמַּאי. מַעֲשֶׂה בִּשְׁנֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם
Since the Gemara discussed the forbearance of Sages, who remain silent in the face of nonsensical comments, it cites additional relevant examples. The Sages taught in a baraita: A person should always be patient like Hillel and not impatient like Shammai. The Gemara related: There was an incident involving two people
שֶׁהִמְרוּ זֶה אֶת זֶה, אָמְרוּ: כׇּל מִי שֶׁיֵּלֵךְ וְיַקְנִיט אֶת הִלֵּל יִטּוֹל אַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת זוּז. אָמַר אֶחָד מֵהֶם: אֲנִי אַקְנִיטֶנּוּ. אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת הָיָה, וְהִלֵּל חָפַף אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ. הָלַךְ וְעָבַר עַל פֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, אָמַר: מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל, מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל? נִתְעַטֵּף וְיָצָא לִקְרָאתוֹ. אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, מָה אַתָּה מְבַקֵּשׁ? אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאֵלָה יֵשׁ לִי לִשְׁאוֹל. אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאַל בְּנִי. שְׁאַל: מִפְּנֵי מָה רָאשֵׁיהֶן שֶׁל בַּבְלִיִּים סְגַלְגַּלּוֹת? אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, שְׁאֵלָה גְּדוֹלָה שָׁאַלְתָּ. מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאֵין לָהֶם חַיּוֹת פִּקְּחוֹת. הָלַךְ וְהִמְתִּין שָׁעָה אַחַת, חָזַר וְאָמַר: מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל, מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל? נִתְעַטֵּף וְיָצָא לִקְרָאתוֹ. אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, מָה אַתָּה מְבַקֵּשׁ? אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאֵלָה יֵשׁ לִי לִשְׁאוֹל. אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאַל בְּנִי. שְׁאַל: מִפְּנֵי מָה עֵינֵיהֶן שֶׁל תַּרְמוֹדִיִּין תְּרוּטוֹת? אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, שְׁאֵלָה גְּדוֹלָה שָׁאַלְתָּ. מִפְּנֵי שֶׁדָּרִין בֵּין הַחוֹלוֹת. הָלַךְ וְהִמְתִּין שָׁעָה אַחַת, חָזַר וְאָמַר: מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל, מִי כָּאן הִלֵּל? נִתְעַטֵּף וְיָצָא לִקְרָאתוֹ, אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, מָה אַתָּה מְבַקֵּשׁ? אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאֵלָה יֵשׁ לִי לִשְׁאוֹל. אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאַל בְּנִי. שְׁאַל: מִפְּנֵי מָה רַגְלֵיהֶם שֶׁל אַפְרִקִיִּים רְחָבוֹת? אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי שְׁאֵלָה גְּדוֹלָה שָׁאַלְתָּ — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁדָּרִין בֵּין בִּצְעֵי הַמַּיִם. אָמַר לוֹ: שְׁאֵלוֹת הַרְבֵּה יֵשׁ לִי לִשְׁאוֹל, וּמִתְיָרֵא אֲנִי שֶׁמָּא תִּכְעוֹס. נִתְעַטֵּף וְיָשַׁב לְפָנָיו. אָמַר לוֹ: כׇּל שְׁאֵלוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָךְ לִשְׁאוֹל שְׁאַל. אָמַר לוֹ אַתָּה הוּא הִלֵּל שֶׁקּוֹרִין אוֹתְךָ ״נְשִׂיא יִשְׂרָאֵל״? אָמַר לוֹ: הֵן. אָמַר לוֹ: אִם אַתָּה הוּא, לֹא יִרְבּוּ כְּמוֹתְךָ בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל. אָמַר לוֹ: בְּנִי, מִפְּנֵי מָה? אָמַר לוֹ מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאִבַּדְתִּי עַל יָדְךָ אַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת זוּז. אָמַר לוֹ: הֱוֵי זָהִיר בְּרוּחֲךָ כְּדַי הוּא הִלֵּל שֶׁתְּאַבֵּד עַל יָדוֹ אַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת זוּז וְאַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת זוּז, וְהִלֵּל לֹא יַקְפִּיד.
who wagered with each other and said: Anyone who will go and aggravate Hillel to the point that he reprimands him, will take four-hundred zuz. One of them said: I will aggravate him. That day that he chose to bother Hillel was Shabbat eve, and Hillel was washing the hair on his head. He went and passed the entrance to Hillel’s house and in a demeaning manner said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Hillel wrapped himself in a dignified garment and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. Hillel said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked him: Why are the heads of Babylonians oval? He was alluding to and attempting to insult Hillel, who was Babylonian. He said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they do not have clever midwives. They do not know how to shape the child’s head at birth. That man went and waited one hour, a short while, returned to look for Hillel, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, Hillel wrapped himself and went out to greet him. Hillel said to him: My son, what do you seek? The man said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why are the eyes of the residents of Tadmor bleary [terutot]? Hillel said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live among the sands and the sand gets into their eyes. Once again the man went, waited one hour, returned, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, he, Hillel, wrapped himself and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why do Africans have wide feet? Hillel said to him: You have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live in marshlands and their feet widened to enable them to walk through those swampy areas. That man said to him: I have many more questions to ask, but I am afraid lest you get angry. Hillel wrapped himself and sat before him, and he said to him: All of the questions that you have to ask, ask them. The man got angry and said to him: Are you Hillel whom they call the Nasi of Israel? He said to him: Yes. He said to him: If it is you, then may there not be many like you in Israel. Hillel said to him: My son, for what reason do you say this? The man said to him: Because I lost four hundred zuz because of you. Hillel said to him: Be vigilant of your spirit and avoid situations of this sort. Hillel is worthy of having you lose four hundred zuz and another four hundred zuz on his account, and Hillel will not get upset.