דף נושא: גירושין

A man takes a woman [into his household as his wife] and becomes her husband. She fails to please him because he finds something obnoxious about her, and he writes her a bill of divorcement, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house;

Beit Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he finds out about her having engaged in a matter of forbidden sexual intercourse [devar erva], i.e., she committed adultery or is suspected of doing so, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter [ervat davar] in her, and he writes her a scroll of severance” (Deuteronomy 24:1). And Beit Hillel say: He may divorce her even due to a minor issue, e.g., because she burned or over-salted his dish, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter in her,” meaning that he found any type of shortcoming in her. Rabbi Akiva says: He may divorce her even if he found another woman who is better looking than her and wishes to marry her, as it is stated in that verse: “And it comes to pass, if she finds no favor in his eyes” (Deuteronomy 24:1).

A woman may be divorced only by receiving a bill [of divorce]. This bill is called a get.
The Torah establishes ten principles as fundamental [for a divorce to be effective]. They are:
a) That a man must voluntarily initiate the divorce;
b) That he must effect the divorce by means of a written document and through no other means;
c) That this document must communicate that he is divorcing [his wife] and releasing her from his domain;
d) That it should utterly sever the connection between the husband and his wife;
e) That [the get] should be written for the sake [of the woman being divorced];
f) That once [the get] is written, there should be no action [necessary] except its transfer to the woman;
g) That he should actually transfer [the get] to her;
h) That he should transfer [the get] to her in the presence of witnesses;
i) That he should actually transfer it to her for the sake of divorce;
j) That the husband or his agent should be the one who gives it to her.
The other requirements of a get - e.g., dating it, having it signed by witnesses and the like - are all Rabbinic institutions.

A person should be very careful not to complicate matters concerning gittin, unless he is skilled in the laws of gittin, because the laws are full of intricacies, and a person could easily make a mistake that would cause a mamzer. And may the Rock of Israel save us from errors, Amen. Rem"a: The beginning of this siman details the wording of the get that is customary in this region, especially in this city. And this is the wording: "On Tuesday, on the third day of the month of Sivan, in the year 5340 since the creation of the world, in the city of Kazmar, which is called Kazimiraz, the city that sits on the Vistula and Wilga rivers (Krakow?) and on spring water-- I, so-and-so called so-and-so, son of so-and-so called so-and-so, standing today in Kazmar, which is called Kazimiraz, the city that sits on the Vistula and Wilga rivers and on spring water, willingly consent, without coercion, to release, send away, and divorce you, my wife so-and-so daughter of so-and-so, who is present today in Kazmar, which is called Kazimiraz, the city that sits on the Vistula and Wilga rivers and on spring water, who has been my wife until now. And I release, send away, and divorce you, such that you are permitted and have authority over yourself to marry any man you want with no interference from now on, because you are hereby permitted to any moan. This is hereby your bill of dismissal, document of sending-away, and letter of divorce from me, in accordance with the Law of Moses and Israel. Signed, so-and-so and so-and-so, witnesses"

As Rabbi Elazar says: With regard to anyone who divorces his first wife, even the altar sheds tears over him, as it is stated: “And this further you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, insomuch that He does not regard the offering anymore, nor does He receive it with goodwill from your hand. Yet you say: What for? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant” (Malachi 2:13–14). Clearly one should not divorce the wife of his youth, i.e., his first wife, as one who does so is hated by God for divorcing the woman to whom he was bound in companionship and covenant.

Rebbi Jacob bar Aḥa in the name of Rebbi Joḥanan, Rebbi Hila in the name of Rebbi Eleazar: Just as a man is concerned about his widow’s honor so he has to be concerned about his divorcee’s honor, as Rebbi Jacob bar Aḥa said in the name of Rebbi Eleazar, “do not hide yourself from your flesh”, that refers to one’s divorcee. Rebbi Yose the Galilean’s wife did mistreat him badly. Rebbi Eleazar ben Azariah went to him and told him, rabbi, send her away, for she does not treat you with the honor due to you. He said to him, her ketubah is too large for me. He said to him, I shall give you the ketubah and send her away. He gave him the ketubah and he divorced her. She went and married the city treasurer. That one lost his property and became blind. She took him around the town and led him. Once they went around the entire town and nobody gave him anything. He said to her, is there not another neighborhood? She said to him, there is the neighborhood of my divorcer; it is beyond my powers to bring you there. He started hitting her. Rebbi Yose the Galilean passed by and heard them demeaning one another in public. He took them, brought them to one of his houses, and provided them with food all the days of their lives, because “do not hide yourself from your flesh”, that refers to one’s divorcee. Nevertheless they quarelled loudly in the night and her voice was heard saying, the pain she suffered outside her body was easier to bear than that inside her body.

If you will analyse the divorce bill called ספר, you will understand the logic of why the dissolution of a marriage has to involve the writing of a “book.” When the Lord created His universe He employed 22 letters (the aleph bet), refining each letter both in the heavens and on earth, matching them to each other, weighing each, etc., etc. He gave them the kind of shapes which contained elements of all that exists in the universe. It is impossible to weigh something except by “matching” it to something else, i.e. comparing it to something else. G’d did not only “weigh”, i.e. “match” the letters but each creature in order to determine who would be a suitable partner for whom. This is what the sages in Sotah 2 had in mind when they said that 40 days prior to the formation of the fetus as a viable embryo a heavenly voice announces who the suitable marriage partner will be for that creature to be. Even if the two human beings live across the ocean from each other G’d will arrange for them to meet and marry. Seeing that the letters of the aleph bet had been instrumental in making the match in the first place, letters of the aleph bet, i.e. a “book” has to be the instrument to dissolve that union (compare Commentary of Raavad on Sefer Yetzirah 2,2). This is a reminder that pairing off potential marriage partners has its origin in prehistoric times, antedating the universe.