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"A Grasshopper Sense of Self"
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Sh'lach L'cha 5784 - "A Grasshopper Sense of Self"
(כה) וַיָּשֻׁ֖בוּ מִתּ֣וּר הָאָ֑רֶץ מִקֵּ֖ץ אַרְבָּעִ֥ים יֽוֹם׃ (כו) וַיֵּלְכ֡וּ וַיָּבֹ֩אוּ֩ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֨ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֜ן וְאֶל־כׇּל־עֲדַ֧ת בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל אֶל־מִדְבַּ֥ר פָּארָ֖ן קָדֵ֑שָׁה וַיָּשִׁ֨יבוּ אֹתָ֤ם דָּבָר֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־הָ֣עֵדָ֔ה וַיַּרְא֖וּם אֶת־פְּרִ֥י הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (כז) וַיְסַפְּרוּ־לוֹ֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ בָּ֕אנוּ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֣ר שְׁלַחְתָּ֑נוּ וְ֠גַ֠ם זָבַ֨ת חָלָ֥ב וּדְבַ֛שׁ הִ֖וא וְזֶה־פִּרְיָֽהּ׃ (כח) אֶ֚פֶס כִּֽי־עַ֣ז הָעָ֔ם הַיֹּשֵׁ֖ב בָּאָ֑רֶץ וְהֶֽעָרִ֗ים בְּצֻר֤וֹת גְּדֹלֹת֙ מְאֹ֔ד וְגַם־יְלִדֵ֥י הָֽעֲנָ֖ק רָאִ֥ינוּ שָֽׁם׃ (כט) עֲמָלֵ֥ק יוֹשֵׁ֖ב בְּאֶ֣רֶץ הַנֶּ֑גֶב וְ֠הַֽחִתִּ֠י וְהַיְבוּסִ֤י וְהָֽאֱמֹרִי֙ יוֹשֵׁ֣ב בָּהָ֔ר וְהַֽכְּנַעֲנִי֙ יוֹשֵׁ֣ב עַל־הַיָּ֔ם וְעַ֖ל יַ֥ד הַיַּרְדֵּֽן׃ (ל) וַיַּ֧הַס כָּלֵ֛ב אֶת־הָעָ֖ם אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר עָלֹ֤ה נַעֲלֶה֙ וְיָרַ֣שְׁנוּ אֹתָ֔הּ כִּֽי־יָכ֥וֹל נוּכַ֖ל לָֽהּ׃ (לא) וְהָ֨אֲנָשִׁ֜ים אֲשֶׁר־עָל֤וּ עִמּוֹ֙ אָֽמְר֔וּ לֹ֥א נוּכַ֖ל לַעֲל֣וֹת אֶל־הָעָ֑ם כִּֽי־חָזָ֥ק ה֖וּא מִמֶּֽנּוּ׃ (לב) וַיֹּצִ֜יאוּ דִּבַּ֤ת הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תָּר֣וּ אֹתָ֔הּ אֶל־בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לֵאמֹ֑ר הָאָ֡רֶץ אֲשֶׁר֩ עָבַ֨רְנוּ בָ֜הּ לָת֣וּר אֹתָ֗הּ אֶ֣רֶץ אֹכֶ֤לֶת יוֹשְׁבֶ֙יהָ֙ הִ֔וא וְכׇל־הָעָ֛ם אֲשֶׁר־רָאִ֥ינוּ בְתוֹכָ֖הּ אַנְשֵׁ֥י מִדּֽוֹת׃ (לג) וְשָׁ֣ם רָאִ֗ינוּ אֶת־הַנְּפִילִ֛ים בְּנֵ֥י עֲנָ֖ק מִן־הַנְּפִלִ֑ים וַנְּהִ֤י בְעֵינֵ֙ינוּ֙ כַּֽחֲגָבִ֔ים וְכֵ֥ן הָיִ֖ינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶֽם׃ (א) וַתִּשָּׂא֙ כׇּל־הָ֣עֵדָ֔ה וַֽיִּתְּנ֖וּ אֶת־קוֹלָ֑ם וַיִּבְכּ֥וּ הָעָ֖ם בַּלַּ֥יְלָה הַהֽוּא׃

(25) At the end of forty days they returned from scouting the land. (26) They went straight to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the wilderness of Paran, and they made their report to them and to the whole community, as they showed them the fruit of the land. (27) This is what they told him: “We came to the land you sent us to; it does indeed flow with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. (28) However, the people who inhabit the country are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large; moreover, we saw the Anakites there. (29) Amalekites dwell in the Negeb region; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites inhabit the hill country; and Canaanites dwell by the Sea and along the Jordan.” (30) Caleb hushed the people before Moses and said, “Let us by all means go up, and we shall gain possession of it, for we shall surely overcome it.” (31) But the other men who had gone up with him said, “We cannot attack that people, for it is stronger than we.” (32) Thus they spread calumnies among the Israelites about the land they had scouted, saying, “The country that we traversed and scouted is one that devours its settlers. All the people that we saw in it are of great size; (33) we saw the Nephilim there—the Anakites are part of the Nephilim—and we looked like grasshoppers to ourselves, and so we must have looked to them.” (1) The whole community broke into loud cries, and the people wept that night.

"We've established that the Israelites didn't handle uncertainty very well. Faced with the question of what to focus on—the giant grapes or the giant people—the Israelites chose the latter. ...
"The Israelites were plagued by what Dr. Aviva Zornberg calls a "grasshopper sense of self" (Bewilderments pp. xxii). Suddenly, they felt small and insignificant."
Rabbi Leah R. Berkowitz, "Patience, Grasshopper"
״וַנְּהִי בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים וְכֵן הָיִינוּ וְגוֹ׳״, אָמַר רַב מְשַׁרְשְׁיָא: מְרַגְּלִים שַׁקָּרֵי הֲווֹ, בִּשְׁלָמָא ״וַנְּהִי בְּעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים״ — לְחַיֵּי, אֶלָּא ״וְכֵן הָיִינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶם״, מְנָא הֲווֹ יָדְעִי?
The spies said: “And we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and so were we in their eyes” (Numbers 13:33). Rav Mesharshiyya says: The spies were liars. Granted, to say: “We were like grasshoppers in our own eyes,” is well, but to say: “And so were we in their eyes,” from where could they have known this?

כְּשֶׁרָאוּ אוֹתָם מְרַגְּלִים נִתְיָרְאוּ. מִיָּד הָלְכוּ וְאָמְרוּ, כִּי חָזָק הוּא מִמֶּנּוּ. אָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, הִקִּישָׁן כְּלַפֵּי מַעְלָן, וּבְאוֹתוֹ הֶעָוֹן נִגְזַר עֲלֵיהֶם גְּזֵרוֹת קָשׁוֹת. ... אָמְרוּ, וַנְּהִי בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים. אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וִתַּרְתִּי עָלֶיהָ. אֶלָּא, וְכֵן הָיִינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶם, מַקְפִּיד אֲנִי. וְכִי יוֹדְעִים הֱיִיתֶם מֶה עָשִׂיתִי אֶתְכֶם בְּעֵינֵיהֶם. מִי יֹאמַר לָכֶם, שֶׁלֹּא הֱיִיתֶם בְּעֵינֵיהֶם כְּמַלְאָכִים.

When the spies saw them they were afraid. Immediately they went and said (in vs. 31), “for they are stronger than we (which can also be read as, than [God]).” Resh Laqish said, “They compared them to the Above. Because of this transgression harsh decrees were issued against them.” ...

They said (in Numb. 13:33), “And in our own eyes we were like grasshoppers.” The Holy One, blessed be [God], said, “I forgave them for that [remark]; but I was exacting [when they said] (ibid., cont.), ‘And so we were in their eyes.’ Who would say that you were not like angels in their eyes? Do you know what I made you in their eyes?”

I question not only the nature of their sin, but also Moses' approach to their mission. Moses' instructions divide the world into either/or categories that ignore the nuances within a complex reality. Instead of asking such specific questions, what if he had said to them, "When you return, tell us what you see. How did you experience this new place? What was the land like? How were the people?" Perhaps these kinds of open-ended questions would have led the scouts to bring back a different report. At least these sorts of instructions might have given them more room to develop their own stories in a less dualistic fashion; the scouts might have been inspired to bring back a different description of what they saw. ...
These, to me, are the challenges of Sh'lach L'cha: First, the challenge to perceive the world in all its nuanced complexity—and not reduce it to simplistic either/or, black/white categories. Second, and more central to the parashah, the challenge of really loving ourselves and trusting our instincts, the challenge of not making ourselves into anything less than we truly are (since this would diminish the One in whose image we are created)...
As long as we see ourselves merely as grasshoppers up against giants, we will set ourselves up for failure. If we want to create anything new and to enter into the Promised Land, then we have no choice but to leap into the unknown, to believe in ourselves, and to trust in God's faith in us. This voice of optimism and hope is what separates Joshua and Caleb from the other scouts. This is what—in spite of a long history filled with good reasons to see ourselves as grasshoppers and to give up—has enabled the Jewish people to continue and to thrive.
Cantor Josee Wolff, "Contemporary Reflection" in The Torah: A Women's Commentary, pgs. 888-889