You and the “I Love You” Statement

It sounds so beautiful. Yet, it sounds so cheap. When you say, “I love you,” you have three simple words that show how arrogant you are:

• “I” - is the first word. I am I. I will always be I. I got to be me. That’s permanent, forever and true. I can’t replace the “I” with somebody else.

• “Love” - is the second word. I got to have love.

• “You” - is the last word. You’re replaceable and negotiable. If I don’t love you, I can always replaceable you somebody else.

For example, there are people who get married so that somebody will make them dinner. I need you to make dinner. “I” is not negotiable. “Dinner” is not negotiable. I’m going to have dinner. If you make me dinner, that’s great. If not, I’m going to go without dinner? No. Somebody else will make me dinner. You are replaceable. Of the three words, “I need you,” I and need are not replaceable but you… will see. If you make good dinner, you can stay. If not, I’ll replace you. “I love you” I and love are not negotiable but you; watch it. Because there are some people who are better at it than you. Some people make better dinner.
Whenever starting a sentence, start it with you. Think about it. What do we say under the chuppah? You would expect, “הרי אני מקדש אותך לי, I hereby betroth you to me.” Isn’t that what you’re doing? The word “I” does not appear. הרי את, the first word is you. The bride hears, “הרי את, You are…” the rest is irrelevant and just commentary. It’s like every beracha we make. How does it start? ברוך אתה. After that, it’s all commentary. The main part is ברוך אתה. When we make a beracha, ברוך אתה, it’s like the groom saying, “את”. Once you say את, you, you said it all. [1]