And do not forsake the instruction of your mother;
(ו) עֲקַבְיָא בֶּן מַהֲלַלְאֵל הֵעִיד אַרְבָּעָה דְבָרִים. אָמְרוּ לוֹ, עֲקַבְיָא, חֲזֹר בְּךָ בְאַרְבָּעָה דְבָרִים שֶׁהָיִיתָ אוֹמֵר וְנַעַשְׂךָ אַב בֵּית דִּין לְיִשְׂרָאֵל. אָמַר לָהֶן, מוּטָב לִי לְהִקָּרֵא שׁוֹטֶה כָּל יָמַי, וְלֹא לֵעָשׂוֹת שָׁעָה אַחַת רָשָׁע לִפְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ אוֹמְרִים, בִּשְׁבִיל שְׂרָרָה חָזַר בּוֹ. ... הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אֵין מַשְׁקִין לֹא אֶת הַגִּיֹּרֶת וְלֹא אֶת שִׁפְחָה הַמְשֻׁחְרֶרֶת. וַחֲכָמִים אוֹמְרִים, מַשְׁקִין. אָמְרוּ לוֹ, מַעֲשֶׂה בְּכַרְכְּמִית, שִׁפְחָה מְשֻׁחְרֶרֶת שֶׁהָיְתָה בִירוּשָׁלַיִם, וְהִשְׁקוּהָ שְׁמַעְיָה וְאַבְטַלְיוֹן. אָמַר לָהֶם, דֻּגְמָא הִשְׁקוּהָ. וְנִדּוּהוּ, וּמֵת בְּנִדּוּיוֹ, וְסָקְלוּ בֵית דִּין אֶת אֲרוֹנוֹ.
(6) Akavia ben Mahalalel testified concerning four things. They said to him: Akavia, retract these four things which you say, and we will make you the head of the court in Israel. He said to them: it is better for me to be called a fool all my days than that I should become [even] for one hour a wicked man before God; So they shouldn’t say: “he withdrew his opinions for the sake of power.” ... He used to say: a woman proselyte and a freed slave-woman are not made to drink of the bitter waters. But the Sages say: they are made to drink. They said to him: it happened in the case of Karkemith, a freed slave-woman who was in Jerusalem, that Shemaiah and Avtalion made her drink. He said to them: they made her drink an example (and not the real water). Whereupon they excommunicated him; and he died while he was under excommunication, and the court stoned his coffin. excommunication, his coffin is stoned.
This section of the Haggadah aims to remind parents that our children are not all the same, and, as we tell our story, we must adapt it to their different sensibilities and abilities.
However, the section which purports to heighten parental sensitivity fails drastically, first by designating one child—the one who asks, “What is this worship to you?”—as “wicked,” and then the response it suggests, to “set that child’s teeth on edge.” We can see it as a valuable pedagogical model of what not to do. We also should remember that at the time the Haggadah was first composed, rude questions were threatening and individuals whose loyalty wasn’t guaranteed were a source of fear.
If we bring the “wicked” child into our own moment, we can see that their question is a demand for a compelling reason to choose Judaism. In the modern world, we are blessed with multiple identities that all lay claim to our loyalty. Being Jewish is one of many identities available to us. Today, each one of us is the “wicked child.”
If Judaism is to claim our loyalty, it will be because we actively choose it over or alongside others. And we will only choose to do so if the Jewish story welcomes our difficult questions and embraces our differences, and if it is morally, intellectually, culturally, and spiritually compelling. Only then will we, the "wicked ones," choose Judaism as our home.
Nor rivers drown it.
If a man offered all his wealth for love,
He would be laughed to scorn.