דָּרֵשׁ רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אִישׁ כְּפַר גִּבּוֹרַיָּא, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ אִישׁ כְּפַר גִּבּוֹר חַיִל: מַאי דִּכְתִיב: ״לְךָ דוּמִיָּה תְהִלָּה״? סַמָּא דְּכוֹלָּה — מַשְׁתּוּקָא. כִּי אֲתָא רַב דִּימִי, אֲמַר: אָמְרִי בְּמַעְרְבָא: מִלָּה — בְּסֶלַע, מַשְׁתּוּקָא — בִּתְרֵין.
The Gemara relates: Rabbi Yehuda, a man of Kefar Gibboraya, and some say he was a man of Kefar Gibbor Ĥayil, taught: What is the meaning of that which is written: “For You silence is praise” (Psalms 65:2)? The best remedy of all is silence, i.e., the optimum form of praising God is silence. The Gemara relates: When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Israel to Babylonia, he said: In the West, Eretz Yisrael, they say an adage: If a word is worth one sela, silence is worth two.
(א) וַיִּקְח֣וּ בְנֵֽי־אַ֠הֲרֹ֠ן נָדָ֨ב וַאֲבִיה֜וּא אִ֣ישׁ מַחְתָּת֗וֹ וַיִּתְּנ֤וּ בָהֵן֙ אֵ֔שׁ וַיָּשִׂ֥ימוּ עָלֶ֖יהָ קְטֹ֑רֶת וַיַּקְרִ֜יבוּ לִפְנֵ֤י יְהֹוָה֙ אֵ֣שׁ זָרָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֧ר לֹ֦א צִוָּ֖ה אֹתָֽם׃ (ב) וַתֵּ֥צֵא אֵ֛שׁ מִלִּפְנֵ֥י יְהֹוָ֖ה וַתֹּ֣אכַל אוֹתָ֑ם וַיָּמֻ֖תוּ לִפְנֵ֥י יְהֹוָֽה׃ (ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֜ה אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֗ן הוּא֩ אֲשֶׁר־דִּבֶּ֨ר יְהֹוָ֤ה ׀ לֵאמֹר֙ בִּקְרֹבַ֣י אֶקָּדֵ֔שׁ וְעַל־פְּנֵ֥י כׇל־הָעָ֖ם אֶכָּבֵ֑ד וַיִּדֹּ֖ם אַהֲרֹֽן׃
(1) Now Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu each took his fire pan, put fire in it, and laid incense on it; and they offered before Adonai alien fire, which had not been enjoined upon them.
(2) And fire came forth from Adonai and consumed them; thus they died at the instance of Adonai.
(3) Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what Adonai meant by saying:Through those near to Me I show Myself holy,And gain glory before all the people.”
And Aaron was silent.
(ב) וידם אהרן. קִבֵּל שָׂכָר עַל שְׁתִיקָתוֹ, וּמַה שָּׂכָר קִבֵּל? שֶׁנִּתְיַחֵד עִמּוֹ הַדִּבּוּר — שֶׁנֶּאֶמְרָה לוֹ לְבַדּוֹ פָּרָשַׁת שְׁתוּיֵי יַיִן (ויקרא רבה י"ב):
(2) וידם אהרן AND AARON WAS SILENT — He received a reward for his silence. And what was the reward he received? That the subsequent Divine address was made to him alone and not to Moses also — for to him alone was spoken the section (vv. 9—11) dealing with those who are intoxicated by wine (see v. 8) (Zevachim 115b; Leviticus Rabbah 12 2).
(ב) וטעם וידום אהרן שהיה בוכה בקול ואז שתק או כטעם ואל תדום בת עינך (איכה ב יח):
(2) VAYIDOM AHARON’ (AND AARON WAS SILENT). This means that he had cried aloud, but then he became silent. Or perhaps the meaning thereof is as in the verse, let not the apple of thine eye ‘tidom’ (cease).
Here then the meaning would be: “and Aaron ceased to shed tears.” According to the first interpretation, he was silent, not crying out aloud, but he still shed tears. But according to the second interpretation he was calmed completely.
(א) וידום אהרן. שהתנחם בקידוש ה' שנקדש במותם:
(1) וידום אהרן, seeing he consoled himself after having been told that the death of his sons represented a sanctification of the name of the Lord.
Abarvanel, Venice, c.1484 - c.1516 CE
Aaron was in so much pain that he couldn’t say anything at all. That’s why he was silent.
Sefat Emet, c.1860 - c.1900 CE
Aaron was quieting not only his voice, but his whole self. He did that because he wanted to hear G*d in this difficult moment, and to do that he had to quiet his whole self and listen.
Isaac ben Judah Abravanel (1437–1508)
Vayidom aharon - His heart turned to lifeless stone (domem - mineral), and he did not weep and mourn like a bereaved father, nor did he accept Moses' consolation for his soul had left him and he was speechless.
In other words, Aaron's silence was a function of shock rather than piety. Aaron is presented not as a hero of faith but simply as a human being, a father stunned into numbness by the unthinkable - the sudden, completely unexpected death of two of his children. He does not speak because there are no words -- Rabbi Shai Held, Shemini
Leah Carnow, When Aaron Had No Words
But grief is not always loud displays of emotion, nor is silence an indicator of inner peacefulness. How many times has grief shouted within me while I remained outwardly quiet? How often have I sat in silence with loved ones knowing that the grief was there, like seeds buried in hard winter earth, waiting for just the right moment to push forth into expression?
Rather than showing comfort, Aaron is simply without words. Speechless. It doesn’t matter what Moses says to him. There is no way to fully give voice to the pain of a parent losing two children. Aaron’s silence is a retreat into his own world of grief that is so big that, for a time, no sounds can emerge.
Rabbi Angela Buchdahl Sermon, Bereshit 5784
https://www.centralsynagogue.org/worship/sermons/israel-at-war-in-the-beginning-there-was-the-word
As a Jewish people, we understand the power of WORDS to create a reality.Words bolster nations, build bridges, and bring healing.But words can also become barriers, curses and weapons.Jews have never ascribed to the childhood rhyme that ‘words will never hurt us.’We know how very potent they are.And we also know how silence— the absence of words— can enable evil, and chaos.