Perhaps a Jewish woman of the twenty-first century has more in common with a Jewish man of rabbinic times than with his wife -- insofar as one can identify with Talmudic men without conspiring in the oppression of women. After all, women in the Talmud rarely owned property or lived independently, whereas I (and many women like me), earn a salary, have my own apartment, and participate fully in the social and political life of my community. I do not place a premium on virginity or on reproductive capacity [as the sages did in discussing laws regarding marriage, for example]; I value myself far more for the amount of Torah I have mastered. In another era, that would have made me a man.” (p.113)
“By the Talmud’s standards, I am a man rather than a woman -- if a “man” is defined as an independent, self-sufficient adult… [which] was a relief because I could regard the Talmud’s gender stereotypes as historical curiosities rather than infuriating provocations. The Talmud did not offend me because I was defying its classifications through my very engagement with the text. So many of the classical interpretations of the Talmud reflect gendered assumptions, and these texts have the potential to take on radically new meaning when regarded through feminine eyes.” (pg. 10)
The polarity of women in the text
Rabbi Eliezer holds that the night consists of three watches, and he employs this particular language of watches in order to teach us: There are watches in heaven and there are watches on earth; just as our night is divided into watches, so too is the night in the upper worlds.
As it was taught in a baraita: Rabbi Eliezer says: The night consists of three watches, and over each and every watch, the Holy One, Blessed be He, sits and roars like a lion in pain over the destruction of the Temple. This imagery is derived from a reference in the Bible, as it is stated: “The Lord roars from on high, from His holy dwelling He makes His voice heard. He roars mightily over His dwelling place, He cries out like those who tread grapes, against all the inhabitants of the earth” (Jeremiah 25:30).
And signs of the transition between each of these watches in the upper world can be sensed in this world: In the first watch, the donkey brays; in the second, dogs bark; and in the third people begin to rise, a baby nurses from its mother’s breast and a wife converses with her husband.
A wise woman asked Rabbi Eliezer: Since all bore equal responsibility for the incident of the Golden Calf, due to what factor were their deaths not equal? Some of the people were killed by the sword of Moses and the Levites, some were killed in a plague, and others were struck with an intestinal illness.
He said to her: There is no wisdom in a woman except weaving with a spindle, and so it states: “And any woman who was wise-hearted spun with her hands” (Exodus 35:25). Therefore, it is unbefitting for a woman to concern herself with such questions.
(ד) אֵינָהּ מַסְפֶּקֶת לִשְׁתּוֹת עַד שֶׁפָּנֶיהָ מוֹרִיקוֹת וְעֵינֶיהָ בּוֹלְטוֹת וְהִיא מִתְמַלֵּאת גִּידִין, וְהֵם אוֹמְרִים הוֹצִיאוּהָ הוֹצִיאוּהָ, שֶׁלֹּא תְטַמֵּא הָעֲזָרָה. אִם יֶשׁ לָהּ זְכוּת, הָיְתָה תוֹלָה לָהּ. יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שָׁנָה אַחַת, יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שְׁתֵּי שָׁנִים, יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שָׁלשׁ שָׁנִים. מִכָּאן אוֹמֵר בֶּן עַזַּאי, חַיָּב אָדָם לְלַמֵּד אֶת בִּתּוֹ תוֹרָה, שֶׁאִם תִּשְׁתֶּה, תֵּדַע שֶׁהַזְּכוּת תּוֹלָה לָהּ. רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר, כָּל הַמְלַמֵּד אֶת בִּתּוֹ תוֹרָה, כְּאִלּוּ מְלַמְּדָהּ תִּפְלוּת. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר, רוֹצָה אִשָּׁה בְקַב וְתִפְלוּת מִתִּשְׁעָה קַבִּין וּפְרִישׁוּת. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, חָסִיד שׁוֹטֶה, וְרָשָׁע עָרוּם, וְאִשָּׁה פְרוּשָׁה, וּמַכּוֹת פְּרוּשִׁין, הֲרֵי אֵלּוּ מְכַלֵּי עוֹלָם:
(4) When a guilty woman drinks she does not manage to finish drinking before her face turns green and her eyes bulge, and her skin becomes full of protruding veins, and the people standing in the Temple say: Remove her, so that she does not render the Temple courtyard impure by dying there.
The mishna limits the scope of the previous statement: If she has merit, it delays punishment for her and she does not die immediately. There is a merit that delays punishment for one year, there is a larger merit that delays punishment for two years, and there is a merit that delays punishment for three years.
From here Ben Azzai states: A person is obligated to teach his daughter Torah, so that if she drinks and does not die immediately, she will know that some merit she has delayed punishment for her.
Rabbi Eliezer says: Anyone who teaches his daughter Torah is teaching her promiscuity.
Rabbi Yehoshua says: A woman desires to receive the amount of a kav of food and a sexual relationship rather than to receive nine kav of food and abstinence.
Abaye's Mother
Our Perfect Ancestors
שאף הן היו באותו הנס. פירש רשב"ם: שעיקר הנס היה על ידן; בפורים על ידי אסתר, בחנוכה על ידי יהודית, בפסח שבזכות צדקניות שבאותו הדור.
Since they were also part of the same miracle. Rashbam explained, that the primary part of the miracle was done by them; Purim - by the hand of Esther, Chanukah - by the hand of Judith, Pesach - for they were saved in the merit of the righteous ones of that generation.
(12) When each girl’s turn came to go to King Ahasuerus at the end of the twelve months’ treatment prescribed for women (for that was the period spent on beautifying them: six months with oil of myrrh and six months with perfumes and women’s cosmetics, (13) and it was after that that the girl would go to the king), whatever she asked for would be given her to take with her from the harem to the king’s palace. (14) She would go in the evening and leave in the morning for a second harem in charge of Shaashgaz, the king’s eunuch, guardian of the concubines. She would not go again to the king unless the king wanted her, when she would be summoned by name. (15) When the turn came for Esther daughter of Abihail—the uncle of Mordecai, who had adopted her as his own daughter—to go to the king, she did not ask for anything but what Hegai, the king’s eunuch, guardian of the women, advised. Yet Esther won the admiration of all who saw her. (16) Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, in his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign. (17) The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she won his grace and favor more than all the virgins. So he set a royal diadem on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.
She also had a graceful temperament and was very beautiful to behold. And her husband Manasseh had left her gold and silver, and menservants and maidservants, and cattle and lands, and she remained with them. And there was no one who spoke an ill word about her, for she feared God greatly.
דָּרֵשׁ רַב עַוִּירָא בִּשְׂכַר נָשִׁים צִדְקָנִיּוֹת שֶׁהָיוּ בְּאוֹתוֹ הַדּוֹר נִגְאֲלוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִמִּצְרַיִם בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁהוֹלְכוֹת לִשְׁאוֹב מַיִם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מְזַמֵּן לָהֶם דָּגִים קְטַנִּים בְּכַדֵּיהֶן וְשׁוֹאֲבוֹת מֶחֱצָה מַיִם וּמֶחֱצָה דָּגִים וּבָאוֹת וְשׁוֹפְתוֹת שְׁתֵּי קְדֵירוֹת אַחַת שֶׁל חַמִּין וְאַחַת שֶׁל דָּגִים וּמוֹלִיכוֹת אֵצֶל בַּעְלֵיהֶן לַשָּׂדֶה וּמַרְחִיצוֹת אוֹתָן וְסָכוֹת אוֹתָן וּמַאֲכִילוֹת אוֹתָן וּמַשְׁקוֹת אוֹתָן וְנִזְקָקוֹת לָהֶן בֵּין שְׁפַתַּיִם...
Rav Avira expounded: Our fathers were redeemed from Egypt through the merit of righteous women who were in that generation. At the time that they would go to draw water, the Holy One Blessed be He would arrange for them little fish in their pitchers. Half of what they would draw was water, and half was fish, and they would cook two pots, one of water, and one of fish, and carry them to their husbands in the field. They would wash them, anoint them, feed them, and give them to drink. Then they would find a secluded area among the fields and make themselves available to their husbands…
Rabbi Akiva's Wife
Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined.
She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah?
He said to her: Yes.
She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study.
Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property.
Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long will you lead the life of a widow of a living man, living alone while your husband is in another place?
She said to him: If he would listen to me, he would sit and study for another twelve years.
When Rabbi Akiva heard this he said: I have permission to do this. He went back and sat for another twelve years in the study hall.
When he came back he brought twenty-four thousand students with him. His wife heard and went out toward him to greet him. Her neighbors said: Borrow some clothes and wear them, as your current apparel is not appropriate to meet an important person. She said to them: “A righteous man understands the life of his beast” (Proverbs 12:10).
When she came to him she fell on her face and kissed his feet. His attendants pushed her away as they did not know who she was, and he said to them: Leave her alone, as my Torah knowledge and yours is actually hers.
Rabbi Akiva’s daughter did the same thing for ben Azzai, who was also a simple person, and she caused him to learn Torah in a similar way, by betrothing herself to him and sending him off to study. This explains the folk saying that people say: The ewe follows the ewe; the daughter’s actions are the same as her mother’s.
Rabbi Meir's Wife
Rabbi Yosei HaGelili was walking along the way, and met Bruria.
He said to her: On which path shall we walk in order to get to Lod?
She said to him: Foolish Galilean, didn’t the Sages say: Do not talk much with women? You should have said your question more succinctly: Which way to Lod?
Bruria came across a certain student who was whispering his studies rather than raising his voice. She kicked him and said to him: Isn’t it written as follows: “Ordered in all things and secure” (ii Samuel 23:5), which indicates that if the Torah is ordered in your 248 limbs, i.e., if you exert your entire body in studying it, it will be secure, and if not, it will not be secure.
The Gemara relates that it was similarly taught in a baraita: Rabbi Eliezer had a student who would study quietly, and after three years he forgot his studies.
There were hooligans in Rabbi Meir’s neighborhood who caused him a great deal of anguish. Rabbi Meir prayed for God to "have mercy" on them, that they should die.
Rabbi Meir’s wife, Bruriah, said to him: What is your thinking? On what basis do you pray for the death of these hooligans? Do you base yourself on the verse, as it is written: “Let sins cease from the land” (Psalms 104:35), which you interpret to mean that the world would be better if the wicked were destroyed?
But is it written, let sinners cease?” Let sins cease, is written. One should pray for an end to their transgressions, not for the demise of the transgressors themselves. Moreover, go to the end of the verse, where it says: “And the wicked will be no more.”
If, as you suggest, transgressions shall cease refers to the demise of the evildoers, how is it possible that the wicked will be no more, i.e., that they will no longer be evil? Rather, pray for God to have mercy on them, that they should repent.
Rabbi Meir saw that Bruriah was correct and he prayed for God to have mercy on them, and they repented.
"A valiant woman, who can find" (Proverbs 31:10): That is the Torah; "and further than pearls (peninim) is her price" - as it was 'in front of Me and inside (lefanim)' and Moshe merited to bring it down to earth. "Her husband puts his confidence in her, and lacks no 'booty'" - that there is nothing lacking in it. Another explanation: "A valiant woman, who can find"
They said, "There was a story about Rabbi Meir who was sitting and expounding in the study hall on Shabbat afternoon, when two of his sons died. What did his mother do? She placed both of them on the bed and spread a sheet over them.
At the end of Shabbat, Rabbi Meir came home from the study hall. He said to her, 'Where are my two sons?'
She said [back], 'They went to the study hall.'
He said to her, 'I scanned the study hall and I did not see them.' They gave him the cup of Havdalah and he separated [the days of the week with the closure of Shabbat].
He repeated and said, 'Where are my two sons?'
She said, 'They went elsewhere and they are coming now.'
She placed food in front of him and he ate and blessed.
She blessed, she said to him, 'I have a question to ask you.' He said to her, 'Say your question.' She said to him, 'Rabbi, before today, a man came and deposited something with me, and now he is coming to take it. Should we return it to him or not?'
He said, 'My daughter, one who has a deposit with him must return it to its owner.'
She said to him, 'Were it not for your consent, I would not have given it to him.'
What did she do? She grabbed his hand, brought him up to that room, had him approach the bed and took off the sheet from upon them. When he saw both of them dead and laying upon the bed, he began to cry and say, 'My sons, my sons, my teachers, my teachers - my sons in the way of the world, my teachers in that they would enlighten my eyes with their Torah.'
At that time, she said to Rabbi Meir, 'Rabbi, is this not what I told you - do I not need to return the deposit to its Owner?'
He said, '"The Lord has given and the Lord has taken; may the name of the Lord be blessed"' (Job 1:21)."
Rabbi Chanina said, "With this thing, she consoled him and his mind became composed - that is why it states, 'A valiant woman, who can find.'"
Holy Harlots
The Gemara asks: And is it correct that one who repents of the sin of forbidden sexual intercourse does not die?
But isn’t it taught in a baraita: They said about Rabbi Elazar ben Durdayya that he was so promiscuous that he did not leave one prostitute in the world with whom he did not engage in sexual intercourse.
Once, he heard that there was one prostitute in one of the cities overseas who would take a purse full of dinars as her payment. He took a purse full of dinars and went and crossed seven rivers to reach her.
When they were engaged in "the matters to which they were accustomed", she passed wind and said: Just as this passed wind will not return to its place, so too Elazar ben Durdayya will not be accepted in repentance, even if he were to try to repent.
§ The Sages taught: This ḥilazon, which is the source of the sky-blue dye used in ritual fringes, has the following characteristics: Its body resembles the sea, its form resembles that of a fish, it emerges once in seventy years, and with its blood one dyes wool sky-blue for ritual fringes. It is scarce, and therefore it is expensive.
It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Natan says: There is no mitzva, however minor, that is written in the Torah, for which there is no reward given in this world; and in the World-to-Come I do not know how much reward is given.
Go and learn from the following incident concerning the mitzva of ritual fringes.
There was an incident involving a certain man who was diligent about the mitzva of ritual fringes. This man heard that there was a prostitute in one of the cities overseas who took four hundred gold coins as her payment. He sent her four hundred gold coins and fixed a time to meet with her.
When his time came, he came and sat at the entrance to her house. The maidservant of that prostitute entered and said to her: That man who sent you four hundred gold coins came and sat at the entrance. She said: Let him enter. He entered.
She arranged seven beds for him, six of silver and one of gold. Between each and every one of them there was a ladder made of silver, and the top bed was the one that was made of gold. She went up and sat naked on the top bed, and he too went up in order to sit naked facing her.
In the meantime, his four ritual fringes came and slapped him on his face. He dropped down and sat himself on the ground, and she also dropped down and sat on the ground.
She said to him: I take an oath by the gappa of Rome that I will not allow you to go until you tell me what defect you saw in me.
He said to her: I take an oath by the Temple service that I never saw a woman as beautiful as you. But there is one mitzva that the Lord, our God, commanded us, and its name is ritual fringes, and in the passage where it is commanded, it is written twice: “I am the Lord your God” (Numbers 15:41). The doubling of this phrase indicates: I am the one who will punish those who transgress My mitzvot, and I am the one who will reward those who fulfill them.
Now, said the man, the four sets of ritual fringes appeared to me as if they were four witnesses who will testify against me.
She said to him: I will not allow you to go until you tell me: What is your name, and what is the name of your city, and what is the name of your teacher, and what is the name of the study hall in which you studied Torah?
He wrote the information and placed it in her hand.
She arose and divided all of her property, giving one-third as a bribe to the government, one-third to the poor, and she took one-third with her in her possession, in addition to those beds of gold and silver.
She came to the study hall of Rabbi Ḥiyya and said to him: My teacher, instruct your students concerning me and have them make me a convert.
Rabbi Ḥiyya said to her: My daughter, perhaps you set your sights on one of the students and that is why you want to convert?
She took the note the student had given her from her hand and gave it to Rabbi Ḥiyya.
He said to her: Go take possession of your purchase. Those beds that she had arranged for him in a prohibited fashion, she now arranged for him in a permitted fashion.