תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כֵּיצַד מְרַקְּדִין לִפְנֵי הַכַּלָּה? בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים: כַּלָּה כְּמוֹת שֶׁהִיא. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים: ״כַּלָּה נָאָה וַחֲסוּדָה״. אָמְרוּ לָהֶן בֵּית שַׁמַּאי לְבֵית הִלֵּל: הֲרֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה חִיגֶּרֶת אוֹ סוֹמָא, אוֹמְרִים לָהּ: ״כַּלָּה נָאָה וַחֲסוּדָה״? וְהַתּוֹרָה אָמְרָה: ״מִדְּבַר שֶׁקֶר תִּרְחָק״! אָמְרוּ לָהֶם בֵּית הִלֵּל לְבֵית שַׁמַּאי: לְדִבְרֵיכֶם, מִי שֶׁלָּקַח מִקָּח רַע מִן הַשּׁוּק, יְשַׁבְּחֶנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו, אוֹ יְגַנֶּנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו? הֱוֵי אוֹמֵר: יְשַׁבְּחֶנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו. מִכָּאן אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים: לְעוֹלָם תְּהֵא דַּעְתּוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם מְעוֹרֶבֶת עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת.
§ The Sages taught: How does one dance before the bride, i.e., what does one recite while dancing at her wedding? Beit Shammai say: One recites praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities. And Beit Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride. Beit Shammai said to Beit Hillel: In a case where the bride was lame or blind, does one say with regard to her: A fair and attractive bride? But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: According to your statement, with regard to one who acquired an inferior acquisition from the market, should another praise it and enhance its value in his eyes or condemn it and diminish its value in his eyes? You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. From here the Sages said: A person’s disposition should always be empathetic with mankind, and treat everyone courteously. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive.
REMIX FOR THE 5th GRADE:
The Rabbis of the Talmud taught: How does one greet someone special? (such as a bride on her wedding day)
Beit Shammai says: You tell the person that they are amazing and stress the good things.
Beit Hillel says: You tell them they look good.
Beit Shammai challenges Hillel: What if they are really ugly? Do you still call them good-looking? The Torah tells us that we should not lie.
Beit Hillel responds: Let's take another example- you go to the MWJDS Oneg where they are trading baseball cards. Do you tell your friends that the card they want is amazing and they are getting a good deal in the trade or do you tell them that it is not worth much and it's really MEH? You tell them that it is awesome so that they feel good about the trade (that they were likely to make anyway) and not have regrets.
From here we learn that: A person should be treated with dignity and respect and we are all created in God's image and therefore special and beautiful- even the ugly bride both before and after she gets married.
The Rabbis of the Talmud taught: How does one greet someone special? (such as a bride on her wedding day)
Beit Shammai says: You tell the person that they are amazing and stress the good things.
Beit Hillel says: You tell them they look good.
Beit Shammai challenges Hillel: What if they are really ugly? Do you still call them good-looking? The Torah tells us that we should not lie.
Beit Hillel responds: Let's take another example- you go to the MWJDS Oneg where they are trading baseball cards. Do you tell your friends that the card they want is amazing and they are getting a good deal in the trade or do you tell them that it is not worth much and it's really MEH? You tell them that it is awesome so that they feel good about the trade (that they were likely to make anyway) and not have regrets.
From here we learn that: A person should be treated with dignity and respect and we are all created in God's image and therefore special and beautiful- even the ugly bride both before and after she gets married.
Debate: (divide the class into either two groups or into pairs and have them discuss the following)
Whose side are you on? Hillels? Shammais?
Is lying ever ok?
Whose side are you on? Hillels? Shammais?
Is lying ever ok?
Questions for further discussion: (bring the class back together to share. who "won" who "lost". Then ask and discuss the following questions.)
1) Does the way someone looks or acts change how you interact with or treat them?
2) What are things that you might tell someone that is not a lie but maybe also not fully the truth? (Sally has a really ugly haircut. What do you tell her when she asks if you like it?)
3) Does your answer change based on your relationship to the person- friend? family? parent? sibling? teacher? peer?
4) Can you come up with another example to add to the Hillel and Shammai debate- maybe something you have encountered?
5) What is your favorite Hillel and Shammai debate.
1) Does the way someone looks or acts change how you interact with or treat them?
2) What are things that you might tell someone that is not a lie but maybe also not fully the truth? (Sally has a really ugly haircut. What do you tell her when she asks if you like it?)
3) Does your answer change based on your relationship to the person- friend? family? parent? sibling? teacher? peer?
4) Can you come up with another example to add to the Hillel and Shammai debate- maybe something you have encountered?
5) What is your favorite Hillel and Shammai debate.