This week's parshah begins with the purchase of the Cave of Machpelah by Abraham to bury his wife Sarah. This cave, indeed, will serve as the burial place for all the foremothers and fathers, with the exception of Rachel who will be buried in Bethlehem. Today, we will look at the notion of "Hesed and Emet," of lovingkindness and truth as it pertains to death. Interestingly, it appears in the story of Eliezer finding a bride for Isaac, which is also in this week's parshah, but it becomes integrated into the laws of death later in the tradition. What are some of the principles surrounding the dignified burial of the deceased and how do they connect to the notion of Hesed and Emet?
(יט) וְאַחֲרֵי־כֵן֩ קָבַ֨ר אַבְרָהָ֜ם אֶת־שָׂרָ֣ה אִשְׁתּ֗וֹ אֶל־מְעָרַ֞ת שְׂדֵ֧ה הַמַּכְפֵּלָ֛ה עַל־פְּנֵ֥י מַמְרֵ֖א הִ֣וא חֶבְר֑וֹן בְּאֶ֖רֶץ כְּנָֽעַן׃ (כ) וַיָּ֨קׇם הַשָּׂדֶ֜ה וְהַמְּעָרָ֧ה אֲשֶׁר־בּ֛וֹ לְאַבְרָהָ֖ם לַאֲחֻזַּת־קָ֑בֶר מֵאֵ֖ת בְּנֵי־חֵֽת׃ {ס}
( (19) And then Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave of the field of Machpelah, facing Mamre—now Hebron—in the land of Canaan. (20) Thus the field with its cave passed from the Hittites to Abraham, as a burial site.
(מט) וְ֠עַתָּ֠ה אִם־יֶשְׁכֶ֨ם עֹשִׂ֜ים חֶ֧סֶד וֶֽאֱמֶ֛ת אֶת־אֲדֹנִ֖י הַגִּ֣ידוּ לִ֑י וְאִם־לֹ֕א הַגִּ֣ידוּ לִ֔י וְאֶפְנֶ֥ה עַל־יָמִ֖ין א֥וֹ עַל־שְׂמֹֽאל׃
(49) And now, if you mean to treat my master with true kindness, tell me; and if not, tell me also, that I may turn right or left.”
(א) חסד. דבר שאינו חייב: (ב) ואמת. לקיים דבר החסד. והמלה מגזרת אמונה והתי"ו לשון נקבה:
(1) KINDLY. Chesed (kindly) denotes an act which one is not obligated to perform. (2) AND TRULY. Emet (truly) denotes keeping the promise to deal kindly. The word emet comes from the same root as emunah (steadfastness).47The root being alef, mem, nun. The tav of emet is the sign of the feminine.48If the root of emet is alef, mem, nun, where does the tav come from? I.E. points out that it is the sign of the feminine. The word should read amenet. However, the nun of the root is dropped (Krinsky).
(כט) וַיִּקְרְב֣וּ יְמֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵל֮ לָמוּת֒ וַיִּקְרָ֣א ׀ לִבְנ֣וֹ לְיוֹסֵ֗ף וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ שִֽׂים־נָ֥א יָדְךָ֖ תַּ֣חַת יְרֵכִ֑י וְעָשִׂ֤יתָ עִמָּדִי֙ חֶ֣סֶד וֶאֱמֶ֔ת אַל־נָ֥א תִקְבְּרֵ֖נִי בְּמִצְרָֽיִם׃
(29) And when the time approached for Israel to die, he summoned his son Joseph and said to him, “Do me this favor, place your hand under my thigh as a pledge of your steadfast loyalty: please do not bury me in Egypt.
(ג) ועשית עמדי חסד ואמת הוא תשלום גמול לפנים משורת הדין כמו שוב והשב אחיך עמך. חסד ואמת וקורין אותו מרצ״י בלע״ז, כלומר מחויב אתה לקברני אבל אינך חייב לטרוח לקברני בארץ כנען, ולכך אני מפייס אותך אל נא תקברני במצרים להשתקע שם בקבורה.
(3) ועשית עמדי חסד ואמת, “and perform for me an act of kindness and truth.” Wherever we find the expression חסד ואמת, it refers to giving someone more than he is entitled to expect, or asking him to do something beyond what he is entitled to demand. One such example is found in Samuel II 15,20: שוב והשב את אחיך עמך חסד ואמת, “go back and take your kinsmen with you and perform an act of loyalty and kindness (with them).” [David was in dire straits and staying with him was likely to result in the death of Ittai and his men. He was not obligated to remain faithful to David. Ed] Yaakov reminds Joseph that while it is his duty to bury his father, he is not entitled to demand of him to bring him to burial in the cave of Machpelah. He therefore pleads with him not to bury him in Egypt.
דָּרַשׁ רַבִּי שִׂמְלַאי: תּוֹרָה תְּחִלָּתָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים, וְסוֹפָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים. תְּחִילָּתָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים — דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיַּעַשׂ ה׳ אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כׇּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּשֵׁם״, וְסוֹפָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים — דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיִּקְבֹּר אוֹתוֹ בַּגַּי״.
Rabbi Samlai taught: With regard to the Torah, its beginning is an act of kindness and its end is an act of kindness. Its beginning is an act of kindness, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21). And its end is an act of kindness, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6).
Moed Katan 27a:22-27b:4
Our Rabbis taught: Originally, they delivered food to the house of mourning, the rich in silver and gold baskets and the poor in baskets of peeled willow twigs, and the poor felt ashamed: they therefore instituted that all should convey food in baskets of peeled willow twigs out of deference to the poor.
Our Rabbis taught: Originally, they would serve drinks in a house of mourning, the rich in white (clear?) glass vessels and the poor in colored glass, and the poor felt ashamed: they instituted therefore that all should serve drinks in colored glass, out of deference to the poor. Originally, they left uncovered the faces of the rich and covered the face of the poor, because their faces blackened from famine and the poor felt ashamed; they therefore instituted that everybody's face should be covered, out of deference to the poor. Originally, they brought out the rich [for burial] on a dargash and the poor on a plain bier, and the poor felt shamed: they instituted therefore that all should be brought out on a plain bier, out of deference for the poor... Formerly the [expense of] taking the dead out [for burial] was harder on his kin than his death so that relatives of the dead (began to) abandon their kin and flee, until Rabban Gamaliel came and treated himself lightly, and was brought out for burial in (simple) linen garments and thereafter the people followed his lead and were buried in linen garments. Said Rav Papa, nowadays all follow the practice of (being clothed for) burial even in a coarse garment worth but a zuz.
Our Rabbis taught: Originally, they delivered food to the house of mourning, the rich in silver and gold baskets and the poor in baskets of peeled willow twigs, and the poor felt ashamed: they therefore instituted that all should convey food in baskets of peeled willow twigs out of deference to the poor.
Our Rabbis taught: Originally, they would serve drinks in a house of mourning, the rich in white (clear?) glass vessels and the poor in colored glass, and the poor felt ashamed: they instituted therefore that all should serve drinks in colored glass, out of deference to the poor. Originally, they left uncovered the faces of the rich and covered the face of the poor, because their faces blackened from famine and the poor felt ashamed; they therefore instituted that everybody's face should be covered, out of deference to the poor. Originally, they brought out the rich [for burial] on a dargash and the poor on a plain bier, and the poor felt shamed: they instituted therefore that all should be brought out on a plain bier, out of deference for the poor... Formerly the [expense of] taking the dead out [for burial] was harder on his kin than his death so that relatives of the dead (began to) abandon their kin and flee, until Rabban Gamaliel came and treated himself lightly, and was brought out for burial in (simple) linen garments and thereafter the people followed his lead and were buried in linen garments. Said Rav Papa, nowadays all follow the practice of (being clothed for) burial even in a coarse garment worth but a zuz.
Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 351:2
We bury the dead in kosher talitot, that have tzizit. And some say, they do not need tzizit, and it is our custom to bury the dead with tzizit but we invalidate the tzizit before burial, or cut off one of the corners of the tallit.
We bury the dead in kosher talitot, that have tzizit. And some say, they do not need tzizit, and it is our custom to bury the dead with tzizit but we invalidate the tzizit before burial, or cut off one of the corners of the tallit.
Commentary of the Vilna Gaon on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 23:4
And there are those who say that at the time where the deceased is brought to the grave, and laid out on the ground, we avoid mocking his inability to continue to preform mitzvot - as we can still wear tzizit and he cannot. At the moment he is about to be laid in the ground, the tzizit are removed (from his tallit).
And there are those who say that at the time where the deceased is brought to the grave, and laid out on the ground, we avoid mocking his inability to continue to preform mitzvot - as we can still wear tzizit and he cannot. At the moment he is about to be laid in the ground, the tzizit are removed (from his tallit).
