Establishing Empathy

Example #1: Hospitality

- Why is Avraham such a hopitable person? What motivates him to become the gold standard of הכנסת אורחים?

- Avraham spends much of his time traveling from palce to place. Avraham's nomadic style of living from the earliest time we encounter him makes him empathetic to the plight of the traveler.

- Perhaps for this reason he opens a motel according to one interpretation of the word "אשל" by the Rabbis.

בראשית י״ח:א׳

וַיֵּרָ֤א אֵלָיו֙ ה' בְּאֵלֹנֵ֖י מַמְרֵ֑א וְה֛וּא יֹשֵׁ֥ב פֶּֽתַח־הָאֹ֖הֶל כְּחֹ֥ם הַיּֽוֹם׃

Genesis 18:1

ה' appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot.

רש"י על בראשית י״ח:א׳:ד׳

פתח האהל. לִרְאוֹת אִם יֵשׁ עוֹבֵר וָשָׁב וְיַכְנִיסֵם בְּבֵיתוֹ:

Rashi on Genesis 18:1:4

פתח האהל AT THE TENT-DOOR — that he might see whether anyone passed by, and invite him into the house

בראשית כ״א:ל״ג

(לג) וַיִּטַּ֥ע אֶ֖שֶׁל בִּבְאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע וַיִּ֨קְרָא־שָׁ֔ם בְּשֵׁ֥ם ה' אֵ֥ל עוֹלָֽם׃

Genesis 21:33

(33) [Abraham] planted a tamarisk at Beer-sheba, and invoked there the name of ה', the Everlasting God.

רש"י על בראשית כ״א:ל״ג

(א) אשל. רַב וּשְׁמוּאֵל, חַד אֲמַר פַּרְדֵּס לְהָבִיא מִמֶּנוּ פֵּרוֹת לָאוֹרְחִים בַּסְּעוּדָה, וְחַד אֲמַר פֻּנְדָּק לְאַכְסַנְיָא וּבוֹ כָּל מִינֵי פֵּרוֹת. וּמָצִינוּ לְשׁוֹן נְטִיעָה בְּאֹהָלִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וְיִטַּע אָהֳלֵי אַפַּדְנוֹ (דניאל י"א): (ב) ויקרא שם וגו'. עַל יְדֵי אוֹתוֹ אֵשֶׁל נִקְרָא שְׁמוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּבָּ"ה אֱלוֹקַּ לְכָל הָעוֹלָם, לְאַחַר שֶׁאוֹכְלִים וְשׁוֹתִים אוֹמֵר לָהֶם בָּרְכוּ לְמִי שֶׁאֲכַלְתֶּם מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, סְבוּרִים אַתֶּם שֶׁמִּשֶּׁלִּי אֲכַלְתֶּם? מִשֶּׁל מִי שֶׁאָמָר וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם אֲכַלְתֶּם (סוטה י'):

Rashi on Genesis 21:33

(1) אשל [AND ABRAHAM PLANTED AN] אשל — Rab and Samuel differ as to what this was. One said it was an orchard from which to supply fruit for the guests at their meal. The other said it was an inn for lodging in which were all kinds of fruit (Sotah 10a). And we can speak of planting an inn for we find the expression planting used of tents, as it is said, (Daniel 11:45) “And he shall plant the tents of his palace”. (2) 'ויקרא שם וגו AND HE CALLED THERE etc. — Through this Eshel the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, was called “God of the entire Universe”. For after they had eaten and drunk he said to them, “Bless Him of whose possessions you have eaten! Do you think that you have eaten of what is mine? You have eaten of that which belongs to Him Who spake and the Universe came into existence” (Sotah 10a).

Example #2: Praying for Others

- Although Avraham encountered many people who did not share his values and even went out of their way to harm him, Avraham prayed for others.

- Even when Avraham lacked something that others lacked, he prayed for others to have it knowing that it was good, regardless of the fact that he suffered from the same issue.

- The ability to pray for others who struggle with the same issue as oneself comes from a high level of empathy.

בראשית כ׳:י״ח-כ״א:א׳

כִּֽי־עָצֹ֤ר עָצַר֙ ה' בְּעַ֥ד כׇּל־רֶ֖חֶם לְבֵ֣ית אֲבִימֶ֑לֶךְ עַל־דְּבַ֥ר שָׂרָ֖ה אֵ֥שֶׁת אַבְרָהָֽם׃ {ס} וַֽה' פָּקַ֥ד אֶת־שָׂרָ֖ה כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר אָמָ֑ר וַיַּ֧עַשׂ ה' לְשָׂרָ֖ה כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר דִּבֵּֽר׃

Genesis 20:18-21:1

for ה' had closed fast every womb of the household of Abimelech because of Sarah, the wife of Abraham. ה' took note of Sarah as promised, and ה' did for Sarah what had been announced.

רש"י על בראשית כ״א:א׳:א׳

וה' פקד את שרה וגו'. סָמַך פָּרָשָׁה זוֹ לְלַמֶּדְךָ, שֶׁכָּל הַמְבַקֵּשׁ רַחֲמִים עַל חֲבֵרוֹ וְהוּא צָרִיךְ לְאוֹתוֹ דָבָר, הוּא נַעֲנֶה תְחִלָּה (בבא קמא צ"ב), שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיִּתְפַּלֵּל וְגוֹ', וּסְמִיךְ לֵיהּ וה' פָּקַד אֶת שָׂרָה, שֶׁפְּקָדָהּ כְּבָר קֹדֶם שֶׁרִפֵּא אֶת אֲבִימֶלֶךְ:

Rashi on Genesis 21:1:1

'וה' פקד את שרה וגו AND THE LORD VISITED SARAH —It (Scripture) places this section after the preceding one to teach you that whoever prays for mercy on behalf of another when he himself also is in need of that very thing for which he prays on the other’s behalf, will himself first receive a favorable response from God, for it is said (at end of last chapter), “And Abraham prayed for Abimelech and his wife and they brought forth” and immediately afterwards it states here, “And the Lord remembered Sarah” — i. e. he had already remembered her before he healed Abimelech (Bava Kamma 92a).

Example #3: Charity with a Smile

- The hallmark of Avraham is being charitable - צדק ומשפט

- Charity however must come with a good face and even without money one can be מפייס and accomplish the same thing. Charity makes the less fortunare party feel as though someone identifies with his suffering. Empathy is the critical bond created between the giver and receiver.

משנה תורה, הלכות מתנות עניים י׳:א׳

חַיָּבִין אָנוּ לְהִזָּהֵר בְּמִצְוַת צְדָקָה יוֹתֵר מִכָּל מִצְוֹת עֲשֵׂה. שֶׁהַצְּדָקָה סִימָן לַצַּדִּיק זֶרַע אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית יח יט) "כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו" (בראשית יח יט) "לַעֲשׂוֹת צְדָקָה"...כָּל הַנּוֹתֵן צְדָקָה לְעָנִי בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים רָעוֹת וּפָנָיו כְּבוּשׁוֹת בַּקַּרְקַע אֲפִלּוּ נָתַן לוֹ אֶלֶף זְהוּבִים אִבֵּד זְכוּתוֹ וְהִפְסִידָהּ. אֶלָּא נוֹתֵן לוֹ בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת וּבְשִׂמְחָה וּמִתְאוֹנֵן עִמּוֹ עַל צָרָתוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (איוב ל כה) "אִם לֹא בָכִיתִי לִקְשֵׁה יוֹם עָגְמָה נַפְשִׁי לָאֶבְיוֹן". וּמְדַבֵּר לוֹ דִּבְרֵי תַּחֲנוּנִים וְנִחוּמִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (איוב כט יג) "וְלֵב אַלְמָנָה אַרְנִן": שָׁאַל הֶעָנִי מִמְּךָ וְאֵין בְּיָדְךָ כְּלוּם לִתֵּן לוֹ פַּיְּסֵהוּ בִּדְבָרִים. וְאָסוּר לִגְעֹר בְּעָנִי אוֹ לְהַגְבִּיהַּ קוֹלוֹ עָלָיו בִּצְעָקָה. מִפְּנֵי שֶׁלִּבּוֹ נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּא וַהֲרֵי הוּא אוֹמֵר (תהילים נא יט) "לֵב נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹקִים לֹא תִבְזֶה". וְאוֹמֵר (ישעיה נז טו) "לְהַחֲיוֹת רוּחַ שְׁפָלִים וּלְהַחֲיוֹת לֵב נִדְכָּאִים". וְאוֹי לְמִי שֶׁהִכְלִים אֶת הֶעָנִי אוֹי לוֹ. אֶלָּא יִהְיֶה לוֹ כְּאָב בֵּין בְּרַחֲמִים בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (איוב כט טז) "אָב אָנֹכִי לָאֶבְיוֹנִים":

Mishneh Torah, Gifts to the Poor 10:1

We are obligated to be careful with regard to the mitzvah of charity to a greater extent than all [other] positive commandments, because charity is an identifying mark for a righteous person, a descendant of Abraham, our patriarch, as [Genesis 18:19] states: "I have known him, because he commands his children... to perform charity."... Whenever a person gives charity to a poor person with an unpleasant countenance and with his face buried in the earth, he loses and destroys his merit even if he gives him 1000 gold pieces. Instead, he should give him with a pleasant countenance and with happiness, commiserating with him about his troubles, as [Job 30:25] states: "Did I not weep for those who face difficult times; did not my soul feel sorrow for the destitute?" And he should speak to him words of sympathy and comfort, as [ibid. 29:13] states: "I would bring joy to a widow's heart." If a poor person asks one for a donation and he has nothing to give him, he should conciliate him with words. It is forbidden to scold a poor person or to raise one's voice against him while shouting, because his heart is broken and crushed, and [Psalms 51:19] states: "God will not scorn a broken and crushed heart." And [Isaiah 57:15 describes as Divine the attribute of] "reviv[ing] the spirit of the lowly and revitalize[ing] the heart of the crushed." Woe unto he who shames the poor, woe be he! Instead, one should be like a father to him, both in mercies and in words, as [Job 29:16] states: "I am a father to the destitute."

Moshe as Leader

- נושא בעול עם חבירו

- וירא בסבלותם

- פורש מן הצבור

Conclusion

- There are many laws in the Torah which emanate from the Jewish experience of being oppressed and tortured. These are commandments of empathy.

- Our challenge as American Jews during this war in Israel is to maintain a level of empathy for our nation in their time of need. It can be easy to conduct business as usual when the conflict is so far away.

- News & Anti-semitism happen to be some ways we are identifying with the cause.

- Visiting Israel

- Prayer, Misvot, Fasting

- Music & Minimizing Parties/Celebrations, Travel