During the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the customary greeting is: “G’mar chatimah tovah” which basically means “May you be sealed in the book of life.” According to tradition, God inscribes people’s names either into the book of life, the book of death, or a third “neither here nor there” book on Rosh Hashanah. During the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, people have a chance to change their fate if they do teshuvah. Finally, the books are sealed on Yom Kippur.
“This process has been more fulfilling and emotional than I could’ve imagined and has made me even more determined to re-record all of my music, I hope you’ll like this first outing as much as I liked traveling back in time to recreate it.”
Judaism is a religion of time aiming at the sanctification of time. There are no two hours alike. Every hour is unique and the only one given at the moment, exclusive and endlessly precious.
Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you
Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
You say sorry just for show
If you live like that, you live with ghosts (ghosts)
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
'Cause when you're fifteen,
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen
(א) אֵי זוֹ הִיא תְּשׁוּבָה גְּמוּרָה. זֶה שֶׁבָּא לְיָדוֹ דָּבָר שֶׁעָבַר בּוֹ וְאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָשָׂה מִפְּנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה.
What constitutes complete Teshuvah? A person who confronts the same situation in which he or she sinned when he or she has the potential to do it again, and yet abstains and does not commit it because of Teshuvah.
However, it is not always clear where we are headed as we tentatively walk the path towards Teshuvah. To do Teshuvah, etymologically, should simply be to “return”, in other words, to “go home”, to walk all the way back to the place whence we came. Yet as a baalat Teshuvah, it seems to me that “returning” paradoxically leads us to tread untrodden, sometimes risky tracks. In other words, this process and life-changing experience does not escort us back to where (and who) we used to be, which is precisely what we are trying to avoid. We are trying to avoid repeating our past deeds, which we can look back on with intense repulsion. Indeed, were we to repeat, or return to, our former ways, we would miss the whole point of Teshuvah altogether.
It ensues that Teshuvah, even though it may, in time, result in a feeling of inner peace and realisation, is no bed of roses. It is not half as safe as its name would seem to suggest - quite the opposite. Indeed, it can go hand in hand with an uncomfortable sense of clash between past and present, a jarring representation of one’s self as irretrievably flawed, a nagging feeling of remorse and shame at remembering our past mistakes and shortcomings. All of these may in fact be signs that the process of Teshuvah is, as it were, working. They all seem to confirm that Teshuvah has nothing to do with going back or retracing one’s steps, and, that, despite the fact that it can be translated as “an answer, a reply”, it seems to raise more questions than it provides answers.