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Hachana l'Emunah
כְּאַיָּל תַּעֲרֹג עַל־אֲפִיקֵי־מָיִם כֵּן נַפְשִׁי תַעֲרֹג אֵלֶיךָ אֱלֹהִים׃
(2) Like a thirsting deer at a brook of water,
my soul cries for You, O God;(3) my soul thirsts for God, the living God;
O when will I come to appear before God!
Sunday
Signs come.
For what
I don't know.
To be one
in a vastness
without meaning,
except for
making something of it,
except for it being
a conversation
I'm not holding
alone.
You
The chance of it being
you who are born
or meeting
anyone who comes to be
friend, beloved,
all the improbables
flying around,
lining up
day after day -
how does that come to
look like a week
then years,
and the waking
each morning
expected.
Belief
Light being
wavy and particulate
at one
is instructive -
why wouldn't
other things or states
present as
both/and?
For instance
I both
believe and can't.
Holding these
together produces
a wobble, I think
it's time
to take seriously
as a stance.
וּמָ֨ל יהוה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ אֶת־לְבָבְךָ֖ וְאֶת־לְבַ֣ב זַרְעֶ֑ךָ לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־יהוה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ לְמַ֥עַן חַיֶּֽיךָ׃
Then your God יהוה will open up your heart and the hearts of your offspring—to love your God יהוה with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live.
״וַיַּעֲבוֹר יהוה עַל פָּנָיו וַיִּקְרָא״. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אִלְמָלֵא מִקְרָא כָּתוּב, אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְאוֹמְרוֹ. מְלַמֵּד שֶׁנִּתְעַטֵּף הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא כִּשְׁלִיחַ צִבּוּר, וְהֶרְאָה לוֹ לְמֹשֶׁה סֵדֶר תְּפִלָּה. אָמַר לוֹ: כׇּל זְמַן שֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל חוֹטְאִין — יַעֲשׂוּ לְפָנַי כַּסֵּדֶר הַזֶּה וַאֲנִי מוֹחֵל לָהֶם.
§ The verse states: “And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed” (Exodus 34:6). Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Were it not explicitly written in the verse, it would be impossible to say this, as it would be insulting to God’s honor. The verse teaches that the Holy One, Blessed be He, wrapped Himself in a prayer shawl like a prayer leader and showed Moses the structure of the order of the prayer. He said to him: Whenever the Jewish people sin, let them act before Me in accordance with this order. Let the prayer leader wrap himself in a prayer shawl and publicly recite the thirteen attributes of mercy, and I will forgive them.
רַב הוּנָא רָמֵי, כְּתִיב: ״צַדִּיק יהוה בְּכׇל דְּרָכָיו״, וּכְתִיב: ״וְחָסִיד בְּכׇל מַעֲשָׂיו״! בַּתְּחִלָּה — צַדִּיק, וּלְבַסּוֹף — חָסִיד.
§ Rav Huna raised a contradiction between the two halves of a verse. It is written: “The Lord is righteous [tzaddik] in all His ways” (Psalms 145:17), indicating that God acts in accordance with the attribute of strict justice [tzedek], and then it is written in the same verse: “And kind [ḥasid] in all His works,” implying that He acts with grace and loving-kindness [ḥesed], going beyond the letter of the law. Rav Huna explained: Initially, at the time of judgment, He is righteous, but in the end, at the time of punishment, He is gracious.
״וְאֶת דַּכָּא וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ״. רַב הוּנָא וְרַב חִסְדָּא, חַד אָמַר: אִתִּי דַּכָּא, וְחַד אָמַר: אֲנִי אֶת דַּכָּא.וּמִסְתַּבְּרָא כְּמַאן דְּאָמַר אֲנִי אֶת דַּכָּא, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא הִנִּיחַ כׇּל הָרִים וּגְבָעוֹת, וְהִשְׁרָה שְׁכִינָתוֹ עַל הַר סִינַי וְלֹא גָּבַהּ הַר סִינַי לְמַעְלָה.אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף: לְעוֹלָם יִלְמַד אָדָם מִדַּעַת קוֹנוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא הִנִּיחַ כׇּל הָרִים וּגְבָעוֹת, וְהִשְׁרָה שְׁכִינָתוֹ עַל הַר סִינַי. וְהִנִּיחַ כׇּל אִילָנוֹת טוֹבוֹת, וְהִשְׁרָה שְׁכִינָתוֹ בַּסְּנֶה.
The Gemara continues the discussion of arrogance, and its converse, humility. The verse states: “For thus says the High and Lofty One that inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, also with him that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones” (Isaiah 57:15). Rav Huna and Rav Ḥisda offered differing interpretations of this verse. One says that the verse means: Together with Me is the person who is contrite and humble. In other words, God elevates the humble. And one says that the verse means: I, God, descend, and am found together with the person who is contrite and humble.The Gemara comments on this: And it stands to reason that the meaning of the verse is like the one who says: I am with the contrite person, as the Holy One, Blessed be He, disregarded all of the mountains and hills, and rested His Divine Presence on the lowly Mount Sinai, and He did not choose to raise Mount Sinai up toward Him. God chose to give the Torah on Mount Sinai, as it was a symbol of humility due to its lack of height, and He lowered His Divine Presence, as it were, to the mountain.Rav Yosef says: A person should always learn proper behavior from the wisdom of his Creator, as the Holy One, Blessed be He, disregarded all of the mountains and hills and rested His Divine Presence on the lowly Mount Sinai. And similarly, when appearing to Moses, He disregarded all of the beautiful trees and rested His Divine Presence on the bush (Exodus 3:2).
וְאָמַר רַבִּי חָמָא בְּרַבִּי חֲנִינָא, מַאי דִּכְתִיב: ״אַחֲרֵי יהוה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם תֵּלֵכוּ״, וְכִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְאָדָם לְהַלֵּךְ אַחַר שְׁכִינָה? וַהֲלֹא כְּבָר נֶאֱמַר ״כִּי יהוה אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֵשׁ אוֹכְלָה הוּא״!אֶלָּא, לְהַלֵּךְ אַחַר מִדּוֹתָיו שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא: מָה הוּא מַלְבִּישׁ עֲרוּמִּים, דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיַּעַשׂ יהוה אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כׇּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּשֵׁם״ — אַף אַתָּה הַלְבֵּשׁ עֲרוּמִּים. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּיקֵּר חוֹלִים, דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו יהוה בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא״ — אַף אַתָּה בַּקֵּר חוֹלִים. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נִיחֵם אֲבֵלִים, דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיְהִי אַחֲרֵי מוֹת אַבְרָהָם וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ״ — אַף אַתָּה נַחֵם אֲבֵלִים. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא קָבַר מֵתִים, דִּכְתִיב: ״וַיִּקְבֹּר אוֹתוֹ בַּגַּי״ — אַף אַתָּה קְבוֹר מֵתִים.
And Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “After the Lord your God shall you walk, and Him shall you fear, and His commandments shall you keep, and unto His voice shall you hearken, and Him shall you serve, and unto Him shall you cleave” (Deuteronomy 13:5)? But is it actually possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence? But hasn’t it already been stated: “For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God” (Deuteronomy 4:24), and one cannot approach fire.He explains: Rather, the meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He provides several examples. Just as He clothes the naked, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God’s appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: “And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6), so too, should you bury the dead.
עֵת שַׁעֲרֵי רָצוֹן לְהִפָּתֵחַ
יוֹם אֶהְיֶה כַפַּי לְאֵל שׁוֹטֵחַ
אָנָּא זְכֹר נָא לִי בְּיוֹם הוֹכֵחַ
עוֹקֵד וְהַנֶּעְקָד וְהַמִּזְבֵּחַ
[It is the] time for the gates of acceptance to be opened,
The day I shall be with prostrate palms before God.
Please, remember for me on the day of rebuke —
[Recall] the binder, the bound, and the altar.