"Before opening up your mouth - be silent and think in your heart, what will be the benefit of your speaking to yourself or to others."
(ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֜ה אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֗ן הוּא֩ אֲשֶׁר־דִּבֶּ֨ר ה' ׀ לֵאמֹר֙ בִּקְרֹבַ֣י אֶקָּדֵ֔שׁ וְעַל־פְּנֵ֥י כׇל־הָעָ֖ם אֶכָּבֵ֑ד וַיִּדֹּ֖ם אַהֲרֹֽן׃
(3) Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what ה' meant by saying:
Through those near to Me I show Myself holy,
And gain glory before all the people.”
And Aaron was silent.
Through those near to Me I show Myself holy,
And gain glory before all the people.”
And Aaron was silent.
(ז) עֵ֤ת לִקְר֙וֹעַ֙ וְעֵ֣ת לִתְפּ֔וֹר עֵ֥ת לַחֲשׁ֖וֹת וְעֵ֥ת לְדַבֵּֽר׃
(7) A time for ripping and a time for sewing,
A time for silence and a time for speaking;
A time for silence and a time for speaking;
(ג) עֵת לַחֲשׁוֹת. פְּעָמִים שֶׁאָדָם שׁוֹתֵק וּמְקַבֵּל שָׂכָר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, "וַיִּדֹּם אַהֲרֹן", וְזָכָה שֶׁנִּתְיַחֵד הַדִּבּוּר עִמּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, "וַיְדַבֵּר ה' אֶל־אַהֲרֹן. . . יַיִן וְשֵׁכָר אַל־תֵּשְׁתְּ":
(3) A time to be silent. These are the times when a person is silent and receives a reward, as it is stated, “and Aharon was silent,” and he [therefore] merited that the Divine speech addressed him personally, as it is stated, “And Adonoy spoke to Aharon, [saying] ‘Do not drink intoxicating wine.’”
(יז) שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר, כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה. וְלֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה. וְכָל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְבָרִים, מֵבִיא חֵטְא:
(17) Shimon, his son, used to say: all my days I grew up among the sages, and I have found nothing better for a person than silence. Study is not the most important thing, but actions; whoever indulges in too many words brings about sin.
Rabbenu Jonah, a medieval Spanish commentator makes an interesting note. People have two ears and only one tongue. This is to teach that a person should hear twice as much as what he says.
Dr. Joshua Kulp, on Avot 1:17
- The animal soul can only register connections from feeling to idea to action.
- It is a 'stream of consciousness' without imagination or ability to relate outside itself
- The intellectual soul can also be called 'the speaking soul' since "it was created in human beings to reveal one's thoughts to others, whether visually or through their healing, so that others may learn and teach, and, as a result, be fulfilled between one and the other"
- This all sounds good, right!?!
- But..."When we prolong our talking, the end result will be the yetzer ha'ra (evil inclination) revealed in [focusing only on our] wants, and we'll be servants to pride and to running after glory [for ourselves], and [all this talking] will lead to speaking ill of others, gossiping, frivolity, deceit, etc...as our ancestors teach, "All who extend their speaking, this leads to sin."(Avot 1:17, see above)
- If this all is the case, how can we train ourselves to speak only as necessary?
- "Train our hearts to consider what we may say before we open up our mouths; meaning, while the spirit of [our desires] is still weak in its source, then we [must] stifle it...if anything frivolous or silly to say rumbles inside of us, then we need to train ourselves to keep it inside, as the Psalmist teaches...
(ג) בָּ֘חַ֤נְתָּ לִבִּ֨י ׀ פָּ֘קַ֤דְתָּ לַּ֗יְלָה צְרַפְתַּ֥נִי בַל־תִּמְצָ֑א זַ֝מֹּתִ֗י בַּל־יַעֲבׇר־פִּֽי׃
(3) You have visited me at night, probed my mind,
You have tested me and found nothing amiss;
I determined that my mouth should not transgress.
תן דעתך עד שיצא מפיך חשוב מעשיך בדרך ארץ. ותן שכר לפסיעותך. צדק הדין עליך והוצא עצמך [מן התרעומות].
Reflect before [the word] issues from your mouth. Consider your actions in accordance with good manners. Set a reward for every step you take. Submit to [divine] judgment and refrain from grumbling.
וְזֶהוּ בְּעַצְמוֹ בְּחִינַת תְּשׁוּבָה עַל תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁכָּתַב שָׁם, כִּי זְבִיחַת הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע, שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת דֹּם לַה', שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת תְּשׁוּבָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת כְּבוֹד עוֹלָם הַזֶּה, זֶה בְּחִינַת נְקֻדָּה הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה, שֶׁנַּעֲשֵׂית מִבְּחִינַת הַדְּמִימָה וְהַשְּׁתִיקָה, מִבְּחִינַת דֹּם לַה'. וְכָל זֶה הוּא בְּחִינַת חִירִיק דְס"ג וְכוּ', שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת בָּקִי בְּשׁוֹב כַּנַּ"ל.
This is also the concept of “repentance upon repentance” mentioned in the lesson. The slaughtering of the evil inclination—corresponding to “Be quiet before God”/the first repentance/the kavod of this world—is the lower point. This is accomplished by means of the DeMimah and silence, corresponding to “Be DoMe before God.” And all of these concepts form the aspect of the chirik of SaG, which is the expertise of returning.
-Likutei Moharan, 6:13
This is also the concept of “repentance upon repentance” mentioned in the lesson. The slaughtering of the evil inclination—corresponding to “Be quiet before God”/the first repentance/the kavod of this world—is the lower point. This is accomplished by means of the DeMimah and silence, corresponding to “Be DoMe before God.” And all of these concepts form the aspect of the chirik of SaG, which is the expertise of returning.
-Likutei Moharan, 6:13
Thoughts on the Middah of Silence from Arlene Warden:
The middah I am most comfortable talking about is silence. For those for whom it is difficult, one way to think about it might be to focus on the person or group you are with instead of yourself. Stay silent if what you are going to say won’t add to the wellbeing or progress of the group. Do speak if what you are going to say will add real value to the moment.
The middah I am most comfortable talking about is silence. For those for whom it is difficult, one way to think about it might be to focus on the person or group you are with instead of yourself. Stay silent if what you are going to say won’t add to the wellbeing or progress of the group. Do speak if what you are going to say will add real value to the moment.
- What are the most common ways we get into trouble with what we say?
- How has social media impacted the quality and amount of speech?
- What can we do to be more self-aware of our speech?