- What do these verses say about a woman's ability to make a vow for herself?
- Who is responsible for these women and when? How does that change her vow?
(2) בנעורה IN HER YOUTH — when she is a נערה i.e., in the first state of womanhood, but not when she is a קטנה, a minor, and not when she is a בוגרת (in full womanhood); for so far as a minor is concerned, her vow is in general no vow (it is null and void ab initio), and a בוגרת is not under her father’s control so that he can annul her vows. What is a קטנה, a minor, in respect to vows? We may gather this from what our Rabbis said: a woman of eleven years and one day must have her vows investigated until she reaches the age of twelve years; if she understands in Whose name it is that she has made the vow or in Whose name it is she has dedicated the thing, her vow is a vow, but a woman of twelve years and a day does not require any investigation regarding her vow (Niddah 56b).
(ו) בַּת אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרֶיהָ נִבְדָּקִין. בַּת שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרֶיהָ קַיָּמִין. וּבוֹדְקִין כָּל שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה. בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרָיו נִבְדָּקִים. בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרָיו קַיָּמִין. וּבוֹדְקִין כָּל שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה. קֹדֶם לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאָמְרוּ יוֹדְעִין אָנוּ לְשֵׁם מִי נָדָרְנוּ, לְשֵׁם מִי הִקְדָּשְׁנוּ, אֵין נִדְרֵיהֶם נֶדֶר וְאֵין הֶקְדֵּשָׁן הֶקְדֵּשׁ. לְאַחַר הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאָמְרוּ אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִין לְשֶׁם מִי נָדָרְנוּ, לְשֶׁם מִי הִקְדָּשְׁנוּ, נִדְרָן נֶדֶר וְהֶקְדֵּשָׁן הֶקְדֵּשׁ:
(6) With regard to a girl who is eleven years and one day old, her vows are examined to ascertain whether she is aware of the meaning of her vow and in Whose name she vowed. Once she is twelve years and one day old and has grown two pubic hairs, which is a sign of adulthood, even without examination her vows are in effect. And one examines her vows throughout the entire twelfth year until her 12th birthday. With regard to a boy who is twelve years and one day old, his vows are examined. Once he is thirteen years and one day old his vows are in effect. And one examines his vows throughout the entire thirteenth year until his 13th birthday. Prior to that time, even if they said: We know in Whose name we vowed and in Whose name we consecrated, their vow is not a valid vow and their consecration is not a valid consecration. After that time, even if they said: We do not know in Whose name we vowed and in Whose name we consecrated, their vow is a valid vow and their consecration is a valid consecration.
Vow is to create a prohibition of an object – “I won’t eat broccoli on Tuesdays”
An oath is to prohibit an action – “I won’t eat on Tuesdays”
The rabbis were very concerned with the taking of vows and did not believe that people should deny themselves permissible pleasures.
People should practice self-restraint without the need to take a vow to do it. Vows were very serious business not to be taken lightly.
- A vow is not a positive thing even when one fulfilled it because asceticism is not valued in Judaism
- Vows can be made impulsively and not fulfilling them is a grave offense (a sin)
- The annulment of a vow was a desirable but not always possible way out of a situation
- The annulment of a vow did not prevent the person from acting out the behavior, but did make the action non-binding and therefore not a sin
- A minor could not make a vow (use Rashi’s description of a minor)
- A betrothed adolescent woman had to have her vow annulled by both her father and husband
- A married woman could have her vows annulled by her husband
Rav Kahana Said: “If a wife vows, ‘The pleasure of sex with me is prohibited to you,” she is compelled to have sex with him. But if she says, ‘The pleasure of sex with you is prohibited to me,’ he is forbidden and so he must annul it, since a person canno be fed something forbidden to him.” (Ned. 15b, 81b; Ket 71b)
- A divorced woman or widow was independent and could not have her vows annulled
- A slave could not make a vow
- A slave or a woman could take a Nazarite vow
“He who vows in order to be morally upright and amend his actions is considered quick-sighted and praiseworthy. E.g., a glutton who forbids himself to eat meat for a year or two …. All are valid means of serving G‑d. It is with regard to such vows that our Sages state:15 ‘Vows are a fence for abstinence.’ ”
The Rambam goes on to say:16 “Although these [vows] are a form of [divine] service, a person should not make numerous prohibitory vows, nor should he customarily do so. Rather, he should abstain from those things that should be abstained from without resorting to vows.”
In Hilchos De’os the Rambam writes:17 “Our Sages have commanded that we only refrain from those things that the Torah told us to refrain from …. Thus our Sages said:18 ‘Does it not suffice that which the Torah prohibited; you forbid yourself other things as well?!’ ”
We thus have three kinds of spiritual service: a) abstaining from permissible things by means of a vow; b) abstaining without resorting to a vow; c) not abstaining from permissible matters.
(א) וְאֵלּוּ נְדָרִים שֶׁהוּא מֵפֵר, דְּבָרִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ, אִם אֶרְחָץ וְאִם לֹא אֶרְחָץ, אִם אֶתְקַשֵּׁט וְאִם לֹא אֶתְקַשֵּׁט. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי, אֵין אֵלּוּ נִדְרֵי עִנּוּי נָפֶשׁ:
(ב) וְאֵלּוּ הֵם נִדְרֵי עִנּוּי נֶפֶשׁ. אָמְרָה, קוֹנָם פֵּרוֹת הָעוֹלָם עָלָי, הֲרֵי זֶה יָכוֹל לְהָפֵר. פֵּרוֹת מְדִינָה עָלָי, יָבִיא לָהּ מִמְּדִינָה אַחֶרֶת. פֵּרוֹת חֶנְוָנִי זֶה עָלָי, אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לְהָפֵר. וְאִם לֹא הָיְתָה פַרְנָסָתוֹ אֶלָּא מִמֶּנּוּ, הֲרֵי זֶה יָפֵר, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי יוֹסֵי:
(1) And these are the vows that he, the husband or father, can nullify: The first category consists of matters that involve affliction for the woman who took the vow. For example, if a woman vowed: If I bathe, or: If I do not bathe; if she vowed: If I adorn myself [etkashet], or: If I do not adorn myself. Rabbi Yosei said: These are not vows of affliction.
(2) Rather, these are vows of affliction: For example, if she said: The produce of the entire world is konam for me as if it were an offering, he can nullify the vow, as it certainly involves affliction. If, however, she said: The produce of this country is konam for me, he cannot nullify the vow, as it does not involve affliction, since he may still bring her produce from another country. Similarly, if she said: The produce of this storekeeper is konam for me, he cannot nullify her vow, as he may still bring her produce from another storekeeper. But if he can obtain his sustenance only from him, that particular storekeeper, he can nullify the vow. This is the statement of Rabbi Yosei.
"All vows [], obligations, oaths, and anathemas, whether called 'ḳonam,' 'ḳonas,' or by any other name, which we may vow, or swear, or pledge, or whereby we may be bound, from this Day of Atonement until the next (whose happy coming we await), we do repent. May they be deemed absolved, forgiven, annulled, and void, and made of no effect; they shall not bind us nor have power over us. The vows shall not be reckoned vows; the obligations shall not be obligatory; nor the oaths be oaths."
History of Kol Nidrei
Summary from My Jewish Learning
The first communal prayer service of Yom Kippur actually takes place immediately prior to sunset on the evening of Yom Kippur. This service is called Kol Nidrei (“All Vows”). These are the first words of a special legal formula that is recited at the beginning of this service and is chanted three times. This legal ritual is believed to have developed in early medieval times as a result of persecutions against the Jews. At various times in Jewish history, Jews were forced to convert to either Christianity or Islam upon pain of death.
However, after the danger had passed, many of these forced converts wanted to return to the Jewish community. However, this was complicated by the fact that they had been forced to swear vows of fealty to another religion. Because of the seriousness with which the Jewish tradition views verbal promises, the Kol Nidrei legal formula was developed precisely in order to enable those forced converts to return and pray with the Jewish community, absolving them of the vows that they made under duress.
This ancient ceremony found a special place in the hearts of the Jewish people and has been maintained for centuries as an especially solemn and moving introduction to the holiday evening service of Yom Kippur. Kol Nidrei has no effect upon vows or promises that we make and break with other people. They still remain valid and, if broken, forgiveness and absolution must be sought from the people affected — and not from God. As the Talmud teachers, “Yom Kippur does not forgive transgressions between a man and his fellow — until (or unless) he seeks forgiveness from him (directly)” (Mishnah Yoma 8:9).
Binding an Obligation on One’s Nefesh
The seriousness of the vow or obligation is emphasized by the repeated reference to how it is bound to the person’s nefesh, a term with a variety of meanings, but primarily signifying the personhood and vitality of a human or animal.[7] Thus, for example:
Num 30:5 and her father learns of her vow or her obligation which she bound upon her nefesh and offers no objection, all her vows shall stand and every obligation with which she binds her nefesh shall stand.
This expression “afflict the nefesh” is most commonly used to refer to the self-afflictions on Yom Kippur (Lev 16:29, 31; 23:27, 29, 32; Num 29:7). To bind or afflict one’s nefesh means an imposition or constraint on one’s self. Thus, the verse clarifies that the kind of obligation (issar) the text is envisioning is a prohibition.
Mishnah Nedarim (11:1) debates what exactly counts as afflicting the nefesh. Whereas the anonymous position suggests it applies to mundane activities such as putting on jewelry or bathing, Rabbi Yossi suggests it is only serious self-abnegation, such as refusing to eat any produce, ostensibly because this would affect her health.
Moreover, based on the concluding verse (17), that adds the phrase “between a man and his wife,” the Talmud adds that vows that a husband may also annul vows that interfere with marital relations, such as abstaining from make up or sex, even if these do not meet R. Yossi’s standard of “unhealthy” vows.[8] Therefore, according to rabbinic interpretation, any vow that does not afflict her nefesh or her marriage cannot be annulled by her husband. They are her business alone.
The Regendered Bible, Toratah (Her Torah), is a rewrite of the Hebrew Bible by gender reversing all characters. The new narrative centers the stories on a matriarchal lineage in contrast to the patriarchal lineage described in the Bible
Some ask, why not regender straight to gender-neutral/non-binary in English? We have learned through Toratah how deeply we all live in a men’s designed world. Without defining, writing and expressing a women’s designed world that is positioned at exactly the same level as the male-dominated Bible we are so familiar with, gender-neutral language could result in extension of the former and continued obfuscation of the latter. We believe that for fluidity to become really possible, female gendered language needs to be fully articulated and present and integrated into culture.
Numbers 30
If a woman makes a vow or takes an oath imposing an obligation on herself, she shall not break her pledge; she must carry out all that has crossed her lips.
If a man makes a vow to or assumes an obligation while still in his mother’s household by reason of his youth, and his mother learns of his vow or his self- imposed obligation and offers no objection, all his vows shall stand and every self-imposed obligation shall stand. But if his mother restrains him on the day she finds out, none of his vows or self-imposed obligations shall stand; and will forgive him, since his mother restrained him. If he should marry while his vow or the commitment to which he bound himself is still in force, and his wife learns of it and offers no objection on the day she finds out, his vows shall stand and his self-imposed obligations shall stand. But if his wife restrains him on the day that she learns of it, she thereby annuls his vow which was in force or the commitment to which he bound himself; and will forgive him.