In Shemos Perek Chuf Gimmel Passuk Zayin ((Chamishi in Parshas Mishpatim) HKBH writes (Al Pi Moshe Rabeinu)):
(ז) מִדְּבַר־שֶׁ֖קֶר תִּרְחָ֑ק וְנָקִ֤י וְצַדִּיק֙ אַֽל־תַּהֲרֹ֔ג כִּ֥י לֹא־אַצְדִּ֖יק רָשָֽׁע׃
(7) Stay away from saying something false; don't kill someone who is innocent/was declared innocent because I will not let someone who is guilty unpunished.
So from this Passuk, it would be logical to assume that there is never an instance where one should lie. Still, in Parshas Vayera after Avraham Avinu invites the 3 Malochim into his tent, Avraham is told that Sarah will have a child the following year. Sarah laughs and says:
(יב) וַתִּצְחַ֥ק שָׂרָ֖ה בְּקִרְבָּ֣הּ לֵאמֹ֑ר אַחֲרֵ֤י בְלֹתִי֙ הָֽיְתָה־לִּ֣י עֶדְנָ֔ה וַֽאדֹנִ֖י זָקֵֽן׃
(12) And Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “Now that I’ve lost the ability, can I really have a child with my husband so old?”
But then, in the next Passuk when HKBH speaks to Avraham:
(יג) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר יקוק אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֑ם לָ֣מָּה זֶּה֩ צָחֲקָ֨ה שָׂרָ֜ה לֵאמֹ֗ר הַאַ֥ף אֻמְנָ֛ם אֵלֵ֖ד וַאֲנִ֥י זָקַֽנְתִּי׃
(13) Then יקוק said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Is it really possible that I will give birth to a child, old as I am?’
It would appear that in this instance, HKBH lies to Avraham Avinu by telling him that Sarah Imeinu referred to herself as being incapable, when it was clear that SHE was talking about Avraham Avinu.
So...are you allowed to lie?
The Chazon Ish explains that lying is comparable to being an Oved Avodah Zarah (Based of of a Gemarah). This can be seen when Yaakov gets the bracha that he "bought" from Eisav:
(יט) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶל־אָבִ֗יו אָנֹכִי֙ עֵשָׂ֣ו בְּכֹרֶ֔ךָ עָשִׂ֕יתִי כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר דִּבַּ֖רְתָּ אֵלָ֑י קֽוּם־נָ֣א שְׁבָ֗ה וְאׇכְלָה֙ מִצֵּידִ֔י בַּעֲב֖וּר תְּבָרְכַ֥נִּי נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃
(19) Yaakov said to his father, “I am here, Eisav is your first-born; I have done as you told me. Stand up, sit up, and eat of what I have hunted, that you may give me your important Brachah.”
Yaakov was so scared of being considered an Oved Avodah Zarah that he tried his best not to lie as much as he could; he said: "Anochi-I am here (comma), Eisav Bechorecha-Eisav is your firstborn". That is how afraid he was of lying
The Michtav MeEliyahu (Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler) writes that specifically in the case of HKBH relaying a different comment to Avraham Avinu, HKBH wasn't relaying exactly what Sarah Imeinu said, but altering it a little bit, just for the sake of Shalom Bayis. This can also be proven by looking at the Psukim that describes the procedure of the Sotah:
(23) The Kohen should put these curses down in writing (which include Shem Hashem) and rub them off into the bitter waters.
From here we can see that HKBH is even willing to erase his name for Shalom Bayis!
But about our topic, overall, from what we have seen so far, it seems like there is some room for lying, but are they truly lies or not?
The Gemara in Bava Kamma Yud Beis Amud Alef talks about collecting debts from someone who had passed away. The Gemara discusses a case where one pays in Avadim (slaves)
לבתר דנפק אמר להו עולא הכי אמר רבי אלעזר אפי' מיתמי אמר ר"נ אשתמטין עולא
After (Rav Nachman) exited (the Beis Medrish), Ulla said (to the remaining people in the Beis Medrish): (In truth), this (is what) Rebbi Elazar said: (An Eved can be collected as a payment) even (when collecting) from (the person) in debt's orphans. (When he heard of Ulla’s "Chidush"), Rav Nachman said: Ulla avoided me, (because if he told me Rabbi Elazar’s full opinion, I would have brought proofs against his opinion.)
If you look at the Genarah in Bava Kama you will realize that Ulla averted an argument by dodging the question(i.e. not going into detail). Ulla didn't tell the whole truth to limit the arguing that would have ensued.
Not only that, but it says in Yevamos Samech Hey Amud Beis:
וְאָמַר רַבִּי אִילְעָא מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן: מוּתָּר לוֹ לָאָדָם לְשַׁנּוֹת בִּדְבַר הַשָּׁלוֹם
And Rabbi Ilah said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: It is permitted for a person to depart (from the truth) in a way (that will bring) peace
From here, we might have initially assumed that all truth telling is allowed but:
דאמר רב יהודה אמר שמואל בהני תלת מילי עבידי רבנן דמשנו במלייהו במסכת ובפוריא ובאושפיזא
as Rav Yehuda says that Shmuel says: With regard to these three matters (alone), it is normal for the Chachamim to change their statements (and deviate from the truth): With regard to a Masechtah, intimacy, and hospitality
So...what does this mean? Rashi comments that:
במסכת - יש בידך מסכת פלוני סדורה בגירסא או לאו? ואע"ג שסדורה היא לו, יאמר לו: לאו. ומדת ענוה היא.
בפוריא - שימשת מטתך? יאמר: לאו. מדת צניעות הוא.
באושפיזא - שאלוקו על אושפיזו אם קבלו בסבר פנים יפות, ואמר: לאו. מדה טובה היא כדי שלא יקפצו בו בני אדם שאינן מהוגנין לבא תמיד עליו, ויכלו את ממונו.
Regarding a Masechtah- [if someone asks] do you know such-and-such Masechtah, in its Girsah, or not? And even though he does know it well, he should say 'no', and this is the Midah of humility.
Regarding intimacy - [if someone asks] did you sleep with so-and-so? He should answer 'no'; this is the Midah of modesty.
Regarding hospitality - If they ask him if his host received him well, he should answer them "no." This is a good Midah in order to prevent unwanted guests from overwhelming him [the host], and wasting his resources.
I believe that all 3 of these cases can be unpacked even further:
- B'Maseches-the reason lying is allowed because of Anavah-humility. I believe that this can also encompass other cases not even always specific to learning; this can even apply to all academic achievmements-(the best scenario is to try to dodge answering)
- B"Puryah-the reason lying is allowed because of Tzniyus-Modesty. This applies in all Tzniyus situations; Taharas Mishpacha, Salaries, and this even includes SHARING YOUR GRADES IN SCHOOL!
- B'Ushpizah-the reason lying is allowed is to protect the person offering hospitality and make sure that they don't become overwhelmed-I also believe that the reason behind B'Ushpiza could be to make sure that no one is jealous; (e.x. One should try not to talk about vacations with others because there is a HUGE possibility that they either aren't going on vacation, or their vacation isn't as extravagant as yours-or vice versa)
I personally believe (and there is a LOT of room for debate) that the idea of most social media (excluding Whatsapp) is centered around people posting about where they have been/what they have done that stands out from what other people have done (breaching all 3 of the previously discussed Middos: Anavah-humility, Tznniyus-Modesty, and Kinah-Jealousy). I am not saying (nor do I have the right to say that) you should completely, close off and get rid of all of your social media (In fact there are plenty of amazing uses for social media), The goal of this point is that one should be mindful about who they are following, what they are posting, and especially how they perceive the lives and the morality of these content creators. The fact of the matter is, we ALL suffer from this issue. My suggestion and Bracha (for everyone-including myself) is to take even a few minutes of the time that WE previously spend mindlessly watching videos/looking at posts and instead re-focus (even just those few minutes) on learning a Shtikle Torah, we will live a much more fulfilling, meaningful, and productive life.