Lashon Hara L'Toelet

(16) Do not go around as a gossiper among your people.

Do not stand still when your neighbor's life is in danger. I am God.

The Gemara asks: From where do we derive the warning, i.e., the prohibition that serves as the source for the flogging for a defamer? Rabbi Elazar says that the prohibition is derived from the verse “You shall not go up and down as talebearer” (Leviticus 19:16). Rabbi Natan says that it is derived from: “Then you shall keep yourself from every evil thing [davar ra]” (Deuteronomy 23:10), which is expounded to mean dibbur ra, evil speech. The Gemara asks: And what is the reason that Rabbi Elazar did not state that it is derived from this verse quoted by Rabbi Natan? The Gemara answers: He requires that verse for the statement of Rabbi Pineḥas ben Yair, as it was taught: “Then you shall keep yourself from every evil thing”; from here Rabbi Pineḥas ben Yair said: A person should not think impure thoughts by day and thereby come by night to the impurity of an emission. The Gemara asks the reverse question: And what is the reason that Rabbi Natan did not state that it is derived from that verse cited by Rabbi Elazar? The Gemara answers: Rabbi Natan explains that verse, which includes the term talebearer [rakhil], as a warning to the court that it should not be soft to [rakh la] this litigant and harsh to that one, but it must treat both sides as equals.

Who is a רכיל? One who loads himself up with matters, and goes from this one to that one, saying to each, such did that man say, thus and such have I heard concerning that man, even though it be true, behold him, he destroys the universe. There is yet an extremely grosser iniquity, which, too, is included in this prohibitive commandment, and that is, לשון הרע, one who spreads scandal about his fellow even though he be telling truth. If he be lying, he is called a מוציא שם רע who invents an evil name against his fellow. The person who speaks לשון הרע, sits in company and relates, saying: thus and such did that certain party, thus and such were his parents, and thus and such I did hear about him and of course, he relates scandalous matters. Of him, the Verse says: "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that speaketh proud things" (Ps. 12.4).

The wise men said: "There are three transgresssions which call forth retribution from the man who perpetrates in this world, and disinherit him from a share in the world to come. They are: idolatry, adultery, and bloodshed; but the לשון הרע outweighs them all" (Arakin, 16b). The wise men, moreover, said:³Arakin, 16b. G. "He who speaks with לשון הרע is like an atheist, for it is said: 'Who have said, Our tongues will we make mighty, our lips are with us, who is Lord over us'"? (Ps. 12.5.). And, again, the wise men said: "לשון הרע kills three persons, the one who speaks it, the one of whom it is spoken, and the one who receives it". In fact, the greatest harm comes to the one who receives the evil report.

Rav Amram says that Rav says: There are three sins from which a person is not spared each day. They are: Having sinful thoughts, and committing sins concerning deliberation in prayer, and uttering malicious speech. The Gemara asks: Can it enter your mind that a person cannot go through the day without uttering malicious speech? The Gemara answers: Rather, Rav was referring to uttering a hint, i.e., words with a bare trace, of malicious speech.

There are things which are forbidden because of the "dust" of lashon hara. As when one says about another: "Who would have said about Ploni that he would be the way he is now!" or "Don't talk about Ploni. I don't want to talk about what happened or what will happen," and the like. Also in the category of the "dust" of lashon hara is speaking in one's praise before his enemies; for this will cause them to speak demeaningly of him. And it is forbidden to be profuse in praise of him, even if not before his enemies; for through this he will come to demean him in the end, saying: "except for this one bad trait that he has." Or the listeners will say: "Why do you speak so much in his praise? Does he not have this and this trait?"

The Gemara asks: And is it the typical manner of a woman to take a heavy burden of six se’a of barley? Rather, Boaz alluded to Ruth that six descendants are destined to emerge from her who would each be blessed with six blessings, and these are they: David, and the Messiah, Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. The Gemara elaborates: David was blessed with six virtues, as it is written: “And one of the servants answered and said: Behold, I have seen a son of Yishai of the house of Bethlehem who knows to play, and is a fine warrior, and a man of war, and prudent in speech, and a comely man, and the Lord is with him” (I Samuel 16:18).

Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: Doeg the Edomite, one of Saul’s servants, stated this entire verse only as malicious speech, in an attempt to incite Saul to be jealous of David. “Who knows how to play” means that he knows how to ask complex and germane questions about Torah matters. “A fine warrior” means that he knows how to answer questions raised with regard to matters of Torah. “A man of war,” means that he knows to negotiate his way in the battle to understand the Torah. “A comely man” is one who displays understanding in facets of halakha and explains it well. “And prudent in speech [davar]” means that he infers one matter [davar] from another matter. “And the Lord is with him” means that the halakha is ruled in accordance with his opinion in every area of halakha. The Gemara relates: In response to all of these virtues listed in praise of David, Saul said to his servants: My son Jonathan is his equal. Once Doeg said to Saul: “And the Lord is with him,” meaning that the halakha is ruled in accordance with his opinion in every area of halakha, a matter that did not apply even to Saul himself, he was offended and grew jealous of David. As with regard to Saul it is written: “And wherever he turned he put them to the worse” (I Samuel 14:47), and with regard to David it is written: And wherever he turns he does prosper. Although the verse about Saul is referring to his victories and his prominence in Torah, he was not privileged to have all of his conclusions accepted as halakha.

(16) Do not deal basely with members of your people. Do not profit by the blood of your fellow [Israelite]: I am ה'.

This footnote is referring to a case where the storekeeper was cheating a customer al pi halacha, but what if he wasn't strictly cheating?

For example, the item is worth 5 and the storekeeper is charging 6, but if it's less than 1/6th (ona'a) perhaps you can't say anything ...

I need to look into this din. Perhaps because it is forbidden to overcharge even less than 1/6th as it says in Choshen Mishpat 227 that you need to tell or maybe since it's a doubt if the transaction is valid, as the Rosh brings in Baba Metzia, that even a priori less than 1/6th may be charged. If it is permitted to overcharge less than 1/6th then one would be forbidden to go and tell the customer (that he is being overcharged) since it would be lashon hara. It's possible that since we're dealing with d'oraisa doubts that we would be strict both for the 1/6th not being allowed and strict about telling.

(1) “Thou shalt not utter a false report” (Exod. 23:1). This is also a warning to those who listen to evil talk. However, if a man comes to you complaining about his neighbor because his neighbor reproved him in your presence and for this reason he is angry with him and he says, “That one who dared to reprove, himself does such and such,” and he continues to relate unpleasant things about him; if you know that after he tells you he will not go and tell others, because he does not care to inform the public, but tells you in order to unburden his heart, because it weighs upon him, it is a meritorious deed to listen to him. That which you are able to improve in making him beloved to his friend, do and arrange. Say to him, “so and so loves you, why then do you speak so?” If he accepts, good, if not, even though you listened to his talk do not believe it. But you should not tell others in order to help him remove it from his heart. For others will be recipients of a false report and they will believe him. What will they do? They will relate to the other man the evil talk that this one spread about him, and he too will come to quarrel with him. The result is that the quarrel comes about through you because you did not listen to him.

It is incumbent on every man that they should marry a woman at the age of 18 and the diligent get married at 13 and this mitzvah is for those who choose it, but before the age of 13 one should not marry, because it is similar to harlotry. ... Rem"a: ...

(Nowadays) we haven't had the custom for many years to look too closely at shidduchim ...

This is understood by the Klausenberger Rebbe in Divrei Yatziv EH 15 that we "look the other way" about certain imperfections about people looking to marry and that the people in this "market" agree that even if everything is not as described, that they are mochel. Of course, this is only talking about a geneivas da'as type of situation, not a mekach ta'os.