The Road to Monogamy Part I

(1) In the days when the chieftains ruled, there was a famine in the land; and a man of Bethlehem in Judah, with his wife and two sons, went to reside in the country of Moab. (2) The man’s name was Elimelech, his wife’s name was Naomi, and his two sons were named Mahlon and Chilion—Ephrathites of Bethlehem in Judah. They came to the country of Moab and remained there. (3) Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, died; and she was left with her two sons. (4) They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth, and they lived there about ten years.

(8) In the middle of the night, the man gave a start and pulled back—there was a woman lying at his feet! (9) “Who are you?” he asked. And she replied, “I am your handmaid Ruth. Spread your robe over your handmaid,^-a for you are a redeeming kinsman.” (10) He exclaimed, “Be blessed of the LORD, daughter! Your latest deed of loyalty is greater than the first, in that you have not turned to younger men, whether poor or rich. (11) And now, daughter, have no fear. I will do in your behalf whatever you ask, for all the elders of my town^-c know what a fine woman you are. (12) But while it is true I am a redeeming kinsman, there is another redeemer closer than I. (13) Stay for the night. Then in the morning, if he will act as a redeemer, good! let him redeem. But if he does not want to act as redeemer for you, I will do so myself, as the LORD lives! Lie down until morning.”

(1) Meanwhile, Boaz had gone to the gate and sat down there. And now the redeemer whom Boaz had mentioned passed by. He called, “Come over and sit down here, So-and-so!” And he came over and sat down. (2) Then [Boaz] took ten elders of the town and said, “Be seated here”; and they sat down. (3) He said to the redeemer, “Naomi, now returned from the country of Moab, must sell the piece of land which belonged to our kinsman Elimelech. (4) I thought I should disclose the matter to you and say: Acquire it in the presence of those seated here and in the presence of the elders of my people. If you are willing to redeem it, redeem! But if you will not redeem, tell me, that I may know. For there is no one to redeem but you, and I come after you.” “I am willing to redeem it,” he replied. (5) Boaz continued, “When you acquire the property from Naomi and from Ruth the Moabite, you must also acquire the wife of the deceased,^-b so as to perpetuate the name of the deceased upon his estate.” (6) The redeemer replied, “Then I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own estate. You take over my right of redemption, for I am unable to exercise it.”

“He said: Turn aside, sit here so-and-so [peloni almoni].”

Rabbi Yehoshua says: Peloni Almoni was his name.

Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥman said: He was mute [ilem] from matters of Torah. He [Peloni Almoni] said: ‘The first ones died only because they took them, and I will take her? Heaven forbid that I take her, I do not want to taint my children, I do not want to mix dross with my children.’ But he did not know that the halakha had already been introduced: “An Ammonite,” but not an Ammonite woman, “a Moavite,” but not a Moavite woman.

(4) No Ammonite or Moabite shall be admitted into the congregation of ה'; no descendants of such, even in the tenth generation, shall ever be admitted into the congregation of ה', (5) because they did not meet you with food and water on your journey after you left Egypt, and because they hired Balaam son of Beor, from Pethor of Aram-naharaim, to curse you.— (6) But your God ה' refused to heed Balaam; instead, your God ה' turned the curse into a blessing for you, for your God ה' loves you.— (7) You shall never concern yourself with their welfare or benefit as long as you live.

For I would mar my own inheritance. נַחֲלָתִי =] my offspring, as in, “the inheritance of Adonoy is children;” to give my offspring a stigma, for it is stated, “Neither an Ammonite nor a Mo’avite may enter [into Adonoy’s community],” but he erred [by not interpreting it as] “an Ammonite but not an Ammonitess.”

Lest I impair my own estate:
He already had a large estate. And some say he was hinting to his wife.

The redeemer replied: "In that case, I cannot redeem it; because I have a wife, I am not permitted to take another one in addition to her, lest the result be quarrel in my home, and I will be destroying my own possession. You redeem it, since you have no wife; for I am unable to do so."

AND THOU SHALT NOT TAKE A WOMAN TO HER SISTER, TO BE A RIVAL TO HER, TO UNCOVER HER NAKEDNESS, BESIDE THE OTHER IN HER LIFETIME. Here Scripture explains the reason for the prohibition, stating that it is not proper for you to take a woman in addition to her sister, to be a rival one to another, for it is fitting that they love one another and not be rivals. He did not say so with respect to a woman and her daughter, or a woman and her mother, because they are “near of flesh” and therefore forbidden even after the death of the other [while in the case of two sisters, it is only during the lifetime of his wife, even if she is already divorced from him, that he may not marry her sister].

(5) but to Hannah he would give one portion only—though^-b Hannah was his favorite—for the LORD had closed her womb. (6) Moreover, her rival, to make her miserable, would taunt her that the LORD had closed her womb.

(1) A man takes a woman [into his household as his wife] and becomes her husband. She fails to please him because he finds something obnoxious about her, and he writes her a bill of divorcement, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house;

§ Rava says that if a man says to a woman: Be betrothed to half of me, she is betrothed. But if he said to her: Half of you is betrothed to me, she is not betrothed. Abaye said to Rava: What is different between the two cases that if he says: Half of you is betrothed to me, she is not betrothed? Is it because the Merciful One states: “When a man takes a woman, and marries her” (Deuteronomy 24:1), indicating he must take “a woman,” and not half a woman? So too, the Merciful One states: “A man,” and not half a man. Rava said to Abaye: How can these cases be compared? There, a woman is not eligible for two men. If one attempts to betroth half a woman it means he wants to leave her other half for someone else. This is impossible, as a woman cannot be married to two men. But isn’t a man eligible to marry two women? And when he declares: Be betrothed to half of me, this is what he is saying to her: If I wish to marry another woman, I will marry another woman.

(6) A man may not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply unless he already has children. Beit Shammai say: One fulfills this mitzva with two males, and Beit Hillel say: A male and a female, as it is stated: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2). If a man married a woman and stayed with her for ten years and she did not give birth, he is no longer permitted to neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. Consequently, he must either divorce her and marry someone else, or take another wife while still married to her. If he divorced her she is permitted to marry another man, as it is not necessarily on her account that she and her first husband did not have children, and the second husband is permitted to stay with her for ten years. And if she had a miscarriage, he counts the ten years from the time of the miscarriage. A man is commanded with regard to the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply, but not a woman. Rabbi Yoḥanan ben Beroka says that a woman is also commanded, as the verse states with regard to both of them: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28).

GEMARA: The Sages taught: If a man married a woman and stayed with her for ten years and she did not give birth, he should divorce her and pay her marriage contract, because perhaps he did not merit to be built, i.e., to have children, from her. It is not certain that their failure to have children is due to her, as it is possible that they are not a suitable match for bearing children. Although there is no explicit proof for the matter that one must take another wife if he has not had children after ten years of marriage, there is an allusion to the matter, as the verse states: “And Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar…after Abram had dwelled ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife” (Genesis 16:3). Incidentally, this verse also comes to teach you that the years spent dwelling outside of Eretz Yisrael do not count as part of his tally. Consequently, if he was sick during this period or she was sick, or if one of the two of them was imprisoned in jail, it does not count as part of his tally.

§ Rav Ami and Rav Asi sat before Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa. One Sage said to Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa: Let the Master say words of halakha, and the other Sage said to Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa: Let the Master say words of aggada. Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa began to say words of aggada but one Sage did not let him, so he began to say words of halakha but the other Sage did not let him. Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa said to them: I will relate a parable. To what can this be compared? It can be compared to a man who has two wives, one young and one old. The young wife pulls out his white hairs, so that her husband will appear younger. The old wife pulls out his black hairs so that he will appear older. And it turns out that he is bald from here and from there, i.e., completely bald, due to the actions of both of his wives.