Paradigm 2: Marriage as Ownership

MISHNA: A woman is acquired in three ways, and she acquires herself in two ways. She is acquired through money, through a document, and through sexual intercourse. A dispute about money: Beit Shammai say with one dinar (silver coin) or with anything worth one dinar. And Beit Hillel say: with one peruta, a small copper coin, or with anything that is worth one peruta. How much is a peruta? One-eighth of the Italian issar. And a woman acquires herself through a bill of divorce or through the death of the husband.

GEMARA: [...] And from where do we derive that money is used for betrothal? It is derived through verbal analogy; there is taking and taking with regard to the field of Ephron. It is written here, with regard to marriage: “When a man takes a woman” (Deuteronomy 24:1), and it is written there, concerning Abraham’s purchase of the field of the Cave of Machpelah from Ephron the Hittite: “I will give money for the field; take it from me” (Genesis 23:13). [This teaches that just as Ephron’s field was acquired with money, so too, a woman can be acquired with money]... If the mishna had taught: The man acquires the woman, I would say that he can acquire her even against her will. But instead it taught: The woman is acquired, from which it may be inferred that with her consent, yes, he can acquire her as a wife, but when he acts without her consent, no, she is not betrothed to him.

The Sages taught in a baraita (Tosefta 1:1): How is betrothal performed through money? If a man gave a woman money or an item worth money, and he said to her: You are hereby sanctified to me, or: You are hereby betrothed to me, or: You are to me as a wife, then she is betrothed. But if she is the one who gave the money to him, and she said: I am hereby sanctified to you, or: I am hereby betrothed to you, or: I am hereby to you as a wife, then she is not betrothed...

Rather, this is what the baraita is saying: if he gave the money and he spoke, it is obvious that it is a valid betrothal. If he gave the money and she said the formula, it is considered as though she gave the money and she spoke, and it is not a valid betrothal. And if you wish, you could say instead: If he gave the money and he said the formula, she is betrothed. If she gave the money and she said the formula, she is not betrothed at all. If he gave the money and she spoke, the ruling is uncertain, and we worry this might qualify as betrothal by rabbinic [and not by Torah] law. Shmuel says: With regard to betrothal, if he gave her money or an item worth money, and said to her: You are hereby sanctified, or: You are hereby betrothed, or: You are hereby to me as a wife, then she is betrothed. If he said: I am hereby your man, or: I am hereby your husband, or: I am hereby your betrothed, then there is no room for concern here.