a. Tznius is about a dress code
b. Tznius is only for women
Let's try to disprove both.
(ח) הִגִּ֥יד לְךָ֛ אָדָ֖ם מַה־טּ֑וֹב וּמָֽה־הֹ´ דּוֹרֵ֣שׁ מִמְּךָ֗ כִּ֣י אִם־עֲשׂ֤וֹת מִשְׁפָּט֙ וְאַ֣הֲבַת חֶ֔סֶד וְהַצְנֵ֥עַ לֶ֖כֶת עִם־אֱ-לֹהֶֽיךָ׃ {ס}
(8) “He has told you, O man, what is good, And what the LORD requires of you: Only to do justice And to love goodness, And to walk modestly with your God;
בָּֽא־זָ֭דוֹן וַיָּבֹ֣א קָל֑וֹן וְֽאֶת־צְנוּעִ֥ים חָכְמָֽה׃
בא מיכה והעמידן על שלש דכתיב (מיכה ו, ח) הגיד לך אדם מה טוב ומה ה' דורש ממך כי אם עשות משפט ואהבת חסד והצנע לכת עם (ה') אלהיך
What is this middah Chazal are speaking of?
The Gemara continues explaining what each third entails:
עשות משפט זה הדין אהבת חסד זה גמילות חסדים והצנע לכת זה הוצאת המת והכנסת כלה והלא דברים קל וחומר ומה דברים שאין דרכן לעשותן בצנעא אמרה תורה והצנע לכת דברים שדרכן לעשותן בצנעא על אחת כמה וכמה
The Gemara elaborates: “To do justly,” this is justice; “to love mercy,” this is an allusion to acts of loving-kindness; “and to walk humbly with your God,” this is an allusion to taking the indigent dead out for burial and accompanying a poor bride to her wedding canopy, both of which are to be performed without fanfare glorifying the doer. The Gemara notes: And are these matters not inferred a fortiori? If, with regard to matters that tend to be conducted in public, e.g., funerals and weddings, the Torah states “walk humbly” when doing them, then in matters that tend to be conducted in private, e.g., charity and Torah study, all the more so should they be conducted in private.
זו הוצאת המת והכנסת הכלה - דכתיב בהו לכת טוב ללכת אל בית אבל מלכת וגו':
Chazal are not randomly saying stuff. Everything in the Torah SheBaal Peh has to be alluded in the Written Text in some way or another. In this case, they put together the verses from Koheles and Micah that use the verb form "leches" to learn whatever they learn.
Thus, Chazal derive that if we are expected to limit the expression of our emotions in these areas that are davka public, how much more so when it comes to private matters.
In any case, beyond the pashtus of the Gemara we can suggest an alternative explanation: A wedding or a funeral are classical examples of events attended by many people.
We arrive at a wedding and we get somewhat self-conscious:
- "I'm too early"; "Oh, I am late"
- "I am so overdressed"; "How come I am dressing so casually when everyone looks so fancy"...
We will find sources that show that "להצניע" means to cover; to cover my own ego.
תמן תנינן חבית של תרומה שנולד ספק טומאה רבי אליעזר אומר אם היתה מונחת במקום תרופה יניחינה במקום מוצנע. ואם היתה מגולה יכסנה.
The Gemarah is trying to define the din regarding a pan of terumah that had the status of "sefek tumah." R. Eliezer paskens that if the pan was in a reachable place, one should put it an hidden place ("makom mutzna").
This notion is also apparent in the Gemarah in Chulin that calls those who refrained from fighting over the lechem hapanim.
כיון דשמענא להא דתניא הצנועים מושכין את ידיהם והגרגרנים חולקים משקל נמי לא שקילנא לבר ממעלי יומא דכיפורי לאחזוקי נפשאי בכהני
Abaye said further: Once I heard that which is taught in a baraita with regard to the distribution of the shewbread among the priests: The modest ones [hatzenu’im] withdraw their hands and do not take, and the gluttons divide all the bread; I also did not take gifts even when they were offered to me, except for when they were given on the eve of Yom Kippur, when there was an abundance of gifts due to the many animals that were slaughtered, as it is a mitzva to eat that day. In that instance, I took the gifts in order to affirm myself among the priests, i.e., if I would never take gifts then my status as a priest might be called into question.
One example of tznius in this form is the person who organizes a shiur or a learning event but then when the event is happening he or she cannot participate because there are logistics to take care of. One could argue that those who attend the shiur are gaining more than the person behind the scenes running the event. However, from another perspective, the person who is in charge of the "annoying technicalities" is nullifying his ego and self-serving agenda for something that is purely for the benefit of others.
We all want to grow and learn. And yet, we cannot forget that the end goal is not my own self-perfection. And therefore, sometimes I should give up a mitzvah opportunity to allow others to develop as well. Rav Wolbe notes that we sometimes step over other Jews in our passion for Torah and Yiddishkeit. Reading Shir HaShirim before Shabbos is a beautiful thing. However, if it means not being available to help out at home, then perhaps I should reconsider...
Similarly:
-I want to keep up with my learning seder, but happens to be that a friend calls me asking for chizuk.
- When we daven at shul or in front of others, we can try to be careful to put extra kavana in the words. That is something that is only between me and Hashem.
- When I have the opportunity to dance or gladden a bride, I should be mindful to do something for her (write a letter, give a thoughtful compliment or bracha...) that is more intimate, just between us.
(844) לשון רבינו יונה שם: "ואת צנועים חכמה - מיעוט הדברים ממדת הצנועים, והצניעות גורמת חכמה לבעליה, כי היא מדת החכמים, אשר בה יכנו את החכמים, כי ישמעו ויקשיבו ולא יתאוו להתגלות לבם".
Rabbi Yitzḥak says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Do you indeed [ha’umnam] speak as a righteous company [elem]? Do you judge with equity [meisharim] the sons of men” (Psalms 58:2)? The verse is interpreted as follows: What should be a person’s occupation [umanut] in this world? He should render himself silent as a mute [ilem]. If so, one might have thought that he should render himself as a mute even with regard to words of Torah. Therefore, the verse states: “Speak as a righteous company,” indicating that one should speak the righteous words of Torah. If so, he might have thought that one who speaks words of Torah has the right to become arrogant. Therefore, the verse states: “Judge with equity [meisharim] the sons of men.” Even a learned judge must take extra care to judge with equity, and not assume that he will immediately arrive at the correct understanding.