​​​​​​​ 'and he could no longer restrain himself' on emotional vulnerability

(29) Looking about, he saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, and asked, “Is this your youngest brother of whom you spoke to me?” And he went on, “May God be gracious to you, my boy.” (30) With that, Joseph hurried out, for he was overcome with feeling toward his brother and was on the verge of tears; he went into a room and wept there. (31) Then he washed his face, reappeared, and—now in control of himself—gave the order, “Serve the meal.” (32) They served him by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves; for the Egyptians could not dine with the Hebrews, since that would be abhorrent to the Egyptians.

(1) Joseph could no longer restrain himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace. (3) Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumbfounded were they on account of him. (4) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt. (5) Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you. (6) It is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be no yield from tilling. (7) God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance. (8) So, it was not you who sent me here, but God—who has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his household, and ruler over the whole land of Egypt. (9) “Now, hurry back to my father and say to him: Thus says your son Joseph, ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me without delay. (10) You will dwell in the region of Goshen, where you will be near me—you and your children and your grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all that is yours. (11) There I will provide for you—for there are yet five years of famine to come—that you and your household and all that is yours may not suffer want.’ (12) You can see for yourselves, and my brother Benjamin for himself, that it is indeed I who am speaking to you. (13) And you must tell my father everything about my high station in Egypt and all that you have seen; and bring my father here with all speed.” (14) With that he embraced his brother Benjamin around the neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. (15) He kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; only then were his brothers able to talk to him.

ולא יכול יוסף להתאפק, up until now Joseph had practiced restraint in every one of his actions and words to the brothers. As we know from 43,31 “he restrained himself and ordered the meal to be served.”

He cried over them, etc.

After the brothers observed Joseph crying over them they were able to respond to him and they said to him whatever was on their minds. After all, everything that Joseph had said to them up to that point might have been designed only to alleviate the brothers' feeling ashamed of their conduct. It was only after he kissed them and wept over the years they had been separate that the brothers recognized Joseph's truly good character and that he was a true brother that they were able to speak to him naturally. Whereas Joseph's original burst of weeping could have been attributed to his reunion with Benjamin, the latest burst of weeping definitely concerned his reunion with all of them.

See how precious is the sign and groan (the krekhtz) of a Jewish person. It provides wholeness in place of the lack. For through the breath, which is the ruach of life, the world was created. As is written (Psalms 104:30), "You will send your ruach--they will be created; You renew the face of the earth." This (ruach) is also the vital force of human life. This is because a person's breath is their life-force. As is written (Genesis 7:22) "All in whose nostrils was a nishmat (breath of) ruach-of-life." Regarding this the wise men said, "To the extent breath is lacking, so is life." And sighing is the extention of the breath. It corresponds to erekh apayim (patience)--i.e. extending ruach. Therefore, when a person sighs over the lack and extends his ruach, he draws ruach-of-life to that which he is lacking. For the lack is in essence a departure of the ruach-of-life. Therefore, through the sigh, the lack is made whole.

On the subject of prayer, Rabbi Elazar also said: Since the day the Temple was destroyed the gates of prayer were locked and prayer is not accepted as it once was, as it is said in lamentation of the Temple’s destruction: “Though I plead and call out, He shuts out my prayer” (Lamentations 3:8). Yet, despite the fact that the gates of prayer were locked with the destruction of the Temple, the gates of tears were not locked, and one who cries before God may rest assured that his prayers will be answered, as it is stated: “Hear my prayer, Lord, and give ear to my pleading, keep not silence at my tears” (Psalms 39:13)