"Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh" Shabbas Shuvah 5777 Young Israel of Holliswood FULL ENGLISH TEXT OF ENTIRE DERASHA IS FOUND AT BOTTOM

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SHABBOS SHUVA-­‐‑5777

‘BILVAVI MISHKAN EVNEH’

Destroying the Cynicism Within

Rabbi Moshe Taub

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I
Of Change and Song

November 22 1963.
This was not just a date that changed our country, rather it changed

the world.
While it is hard to argue a direct cause and effect, a compelling

argument made by many social scientists goes something like this:

The post WW2 era brought us our ‘Greatest Generation’, Rockwell paintings and deep earnestness, all culminating in the election of a president that represented the perfect smile of what was the then America: JFK.

On that fateful Dallas morning we lost much more than Camelot; we lost our innocence as a country.

The seeds for the counter-culture movement to come – the free- thinking, hippie, flower child, and sometimes radical 60’s - were thus planted on that hot Dallas noon sun and the blood soaked gravel of Dealey Plaza.

The late 60’s brought a movement like we have never seen –perhaps in the entire history of civilization.

First, it was not unique to America, or a particular landmass, rather it effected –or infected, depending on one’s views –the entire world.

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From the UK’s Underground, to Provo of the Netherlands, K1 and Sponti of West Germany and the General Strike of France that nearly brought down their government –a transformation the likes of which was never before seen was in the air.

For the first time in recorded history children rejected en-masse the teachings of their fathers, their parents.

A new age was, and in many ways still is upon us. An era of Cynicism.

“Trust no one”. “Nothing is what it seems”. “The ‘Man’ is the root cause of all ills and is always hiding behind the curtain”.

Sadly, much of this suspicion was well earned.

In a perhaps apocryphal theory, Rav Chaim Soleveitchik’s students are said to have remarked that as goes the world of Torah so goes the rest of the world.

So, as Rav Chaim developed what would become known as the Brisker Method - dividing the particles of the Talmud into ‘tzvei dinnim’ - Einstein was working to split the atom.

And, as the Founding Fathers of America were creating a new method of government, of relating to leadership, of giving power back to the people, the Baal Shem Tov was creating a new way to reach the Divine, where all Jews would be equals, and no scholar should have any greater ability to encounter the greatest deveikus to the Riboneh Shel Olam than the simple baal hagoleh, wagon driver.

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And so... as many children were ripping up their draft cards, were rejecting the character of their fathers, so too was another rebellious movement forming:

The baal teshuvah movement.

It is amazing to ponder that in a moment of ‘free’ love, in a time of koach v’otzem yadi, in an era of b’derech sh’ratza yeleich, that men and women from all backgrounds left their secular homes to go to yeshiva.

There was one yeshiva in particular where many of these boys went to go seek out shelter from this strange new storm.

In 1967 Rav Shlomo Freifeld left Yeshivas Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin to found his own makom Torah –Yeshivas Sh’or Yoshuv.

This was a yeshiva for all upbringings and backgrounds if there ever was one.

Not only was his rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Hutner, proud, but when Rav Freifeld’s yeshiva invited Rav Hutner to their first siyum as a yeshiva, Rav Hutner rose and recited the beracha of shehechiyanu with shem u’malchus!

Rav Freifeld –whose yartzeit fals out this yom tov season, the 17th of Tishrei, the first day of chol hamoed –was the rebbe of so many during this time.

He personified the prophesy of Malachi (3:24):

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“He may turn the heart of the fathers back through the children, and the heart of the children back through their fathers”*

One of the young students he influenced was a boy named Shmelkie, Shmelkie Brazil.

Today, he is a Rosh Yeshiva in Yerushalaim and known as Rav Shmuel Brazil, and one of the great composers of Jewish song.

In 1968 he was a student in Sh’or Yashuv.

Let us now go back, go back one week after Arlo Guthrie performed the twenty-minute silique ‘Alice’s Restaurant’ to rave reviews, and four days before the Republicans would elect Richard Millhouse Nixon as their candidate for President of the United States, and two weeks before the infamous Democratic Convention in Chicago – where a raucous and sometimes lethal riot broke out at its gates, to August 4th 1968.

This was a Sunday.
It was also Tisha B’Av.

Closed off from the tumult and turmoil, the storm of the world through the protection of the teva, ark of the yeshiva, young Shmelkie sat on the floor to hear the haunting words of Eichah.

* Interestingly, this verse too was turned into a haunting melody. I contacted its composer, R’ Abie Rottenberg, in preparation for this drasha who informed me that this was the only song on D’veykus where the words were chosen before the melody.

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Soon after he said kinnos, as well as a lecture from his dynamic Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Freifeld.

The emotions he was feeling were almost too much to bear. He could not sleep.

So, instead, he composed a melody, a tune that came from deep within his soul, and that spoke the words of his heart.

He had no words to go with it, it simply went: “Da Na Na, Da Na Na, Da Na Naaa, Da Na Na Na Na Na Naaa...” and then the chorus, “Dee Da Da Da Daa Daa Daa Daaaaa Da Da Da...”

Even he was haunted by what had come from deep inside of his inflamed spirit.

Several months later in the Midwood section of Brooklyn, the rosh yeshiva of Rabeinu Chaim Berlin, Rav Hutner completed his study of a sefer, the holy Sefer Chareidim, written in the late late 1500’s by the composer of yedid nefesh, Rav Elazer ben Moshe Azikri (d. 1600).

(Amazingly, his kever was only discovered in Tzefat in 2009)

Rav Hutner too felt inspiration within his soul that he needed to get out. Taking pen to paper, he wrote down the following words, in prose:

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Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh l'hadar k'vodo, uv'mishkan mizbeach asim l'karnei hodo, u’l’ner tamid ekach li es esh ha'akeidah, ulkorban akriv lo es nafshi, es nafshi hayechida.

In my heart will build a Mishkan/Tabernacle/
to glorify His honor//
In this Mishkan I shall [also] place an alter/
to acknowledge His splendor//
And [as for what fire I shall use] I will take to me the fire of the eternal light / [which is] the fire of the Akeidah//
And as [for what] sacrifice will I bring/
I will offer my soul, my own unique and special soul//

It was as if everything at that moment came full circle:

Rav Hutner inspired Rav Freifeld, who inspired the young teenage Rav Shmuel Brazil. The latter composes a song that would later be put to the words of Rav Hutner. Rav Hutner in turn was inspired by Rav Azkiri, the founder of the 1588 Tzefat based Sukkat Shalom society - a kiruv Yeshiva before such a term was even known!

As Rav Azkiri writes in the introduction to his magnum opus:

“Here in Tzefat we have opened the group known as Sukkat Shalom and people have come and returned...My beloved, open your heart just a little bit and I will open the rest myself to the size of a great hallway...”

Before we go on to show the centrality of this theme to these Days of Awe, we have to ask another, somewhat historical and bibliographic question: What did Rav Hutner see in this sefer that inspired these words?

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Well, one of the goals of sefer Chareidim is to demonstrate that our entire body is made holy through mitzvos, that mitzvos themselves are to make up and improve each part of the Self. It divides the 613 mitzvos of the Torah into the parts of the human body, enabling us to dedicate each section of self to Gd.

Rav Hutner was inspired by both a line in a poem Rav Azkiri writes at the end of his work, as well as by the work’s purpose.

But more, likehis magnum opus Pachad Yitzchak, no reference is wasted.

In fact, this idea that our body is a vehicle in service to Hashem was not all that new.

The Targum Yonasan is the first to make such an idea clear, and he does so from, quite literally, the beginning. In Bereishis 1:27 –the creation of Man - he comments that the number of a person’s limbs is equal to 248 and the number of blood vessels is 365—a total of 613.

The Zohar teaches us the same, instead dividing the tendons into 365 parts.

In another words, our entire body is to be given over to Hashem.

Furthermore, Rav Hutner’s poem, using the body as a metaphor to the Mishakn, is also not by chance.

Shmos Rabbah 33:7 quotes a famous statement of Rav Simlai (Makkos 23) regarding the verse “Torah Tzivah Lanu Moshe Morasha

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Kehilas Yaakov” (Devarim 33:4):

Torah has the gematria of 611-for all but two Mitzvos did we receive from Moshe (the first two we heard from the mouth of Gd).

This is a peculiar Midrash for two reasons. First, the goal of the Midrash to follow is to discuss the latter part of this verse, “Morashah Kehillas Yaakov...”, so why open with this teaching, from the verse’s opening - at all?

Second, the this Midrash is coming of a pasuk, “’Vayikchu Li Teruma’.

This Midrash was seeking to explain the role of the Mishkan –which it will soon spend much time doing through the latter part of that same verse – and this opening of the verse from Devarim, as well as Rav Simlai’s teaching would seem to have nothing to do with that subject!

Meforshim offer many interpretations to what the Midrash is seeking here to do. Rav Yehoshua Heller in his Ohel Yehoshua (Derush 1:12), however, offers a brilliant analysis to explain why indeed the Mishkan relates to Rav Simlai.

Simply utilizing the verses of the Torah, add up all –every single- of the features and accoutrement that come together to create the Mishkan:

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48 Kerashim (planks) –Shmos 26:15
96 Aznaim (sockets) –(ibid.)
10 Yerios curtains -26:11
100 Leluos loops (for the above curtains) -26:5 50 Kersei Zahav golden loops -26:6
11 Yerios Izzim curtains of goat fabric -26:7 100 Leluos loops (for the above curtains) -26:10 50 Karsei Nechoshes copper hooks -26:11
15 Berichim bars -26:26,27
96 Tabaos rings -26:29
1 Paraches -26:31
4 Amudim pillars (for the above partition)- 26:32 4 Adonim sockets (for the above pillars) 26:32 4 Vavei Zahav golden hooks -26:32
1 Mesach screen -26:36
5 Amudim pillars (for the above screen) -26:37 5 Adanim sockets (for the above pillars) -26:37 5 Vavim hooks -26:37
1 Aron -25:10
1 Kapores- 25:17
1 Cherubim -25:18
1 Shulchan -25:23
1 Menorah -25:31
1Mizbeach HaKetores -30:1
1 Mizbeach HaOleh-27:1
1 Kiyor washing basin – 30:18

Can we guess the grand total?

613! (Add it up to check the math!)

W hen chazal teach us that we are all a mikdash me’at –a miniature Mishkan –it is not that we imitate, are a metaphor for, the Mishkan, rather that we are the original template, albeit smaller in size,

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diminutive, and that the Mishkan sought to copy us!

Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh is more than a poem.
And it is the idea of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh that I wish to speak about

tonight.

We must first point out the obvious: in a world where so many literally turn themselves into sacrifices for their faith, we must state that Judaism is different.

We stand for the command of v’chai bahem, and we are not speaking of a physical sacrifice, but one that is both spiritual and emotional.

Sometimes it easier to blow one self up than to consider that their path in life is wrong.

Rabbi Solevietchik encapsulates this well (‘On Repentance’ page 95):

“Confession compels man –in a state of terrible torment –to admit facts as they really are., to give clear expression to the truth. This, indeed, is a sacrifice, a breaking of the will, a tortuous breaking of human nature. Both remorse and shame are involved in the process....to look inward at the truth, to look ourselves straight in the eye, to overcome our mechanism of self-defense, to smash asunder the artificial barriers, to against the artificial inclination to run and hide, to tear down the screen, tp put into words what our hearts have already determined. Just as a sacrifice is burnt upon the alter, so do we burn down, by our confession, our well barricaded complacency, our overblown pride, our artificial existence. Then and only then: “Be you cleansed before the Lrd”

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In this drasha we will demonstrate that this is the essential service of these days.

We will explain precisely what such a level means for us and, most critically, how to attain it.

II
Self Sacrifice –the Entire Point of Korbonos

Few people enjoy the study of Vayikra and the mitzvah korbonos.

But during these days we have no choice in the matter. We simply cant escape it. The Yom Kippur service, is sacrifices, have an entire parsha and almost an entire tractate dedicated to it.

More, as opposed to most other holidays where we can no longer offer its services, Yom Kippur asks us to recount, in painfully accurate detail, the service of the day during mussaf.

But this is not unique to Yom Kippur proper, it bleeds into the concept of teshuva itself.

Let us read from Rambam:

Hilchos Teshuva Chapter 1

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1
If a person transgresses any of the mitzvot of the Torah, whether a positive command or a negative command - whether willingly or inadvertently - when he repents, and returns from his sin, he must confess before God, blessed be, He as [Numbers 5:6-7] states: "If a man or a woman commit any of the sins of man... they must confess the sin that they committed."
This refers to a verbal confession. This confession is a positive command.
How does one confess: He states: "I implore You, God, I sinned, I transgressed, I committed iniquity before You by doing the following. Behold, I regret and am embarrassed for my deeds. I promise never to repeat this act again."...
2
Since the goat sent [to Azazel] atones for all of Israel, the High Priest confesses upon it as a spokesman for all of Israel as [Leviticus 16:21] states: "He shall confess upon it all the sins of the children of Israel." The goat sent to Azazel atones for all the transgressions in the Torah, the severe and the lighter [sins]; those violated intentionally and those transgressed inadvertently; those which [the transgressor] became conscious of and those which he was not conscious of. All are atoned for by the goat sent [to Azazel].
This applies only if one repents...
3
At present, when the Temple does not exist and there is no altar of atonement, there remains nothing else aside from Teshuvah. Teshuvah atones for all sins. Even a person who was wicked his whole life and repented in his final moments will not be reminded of any aspect of his wickedness as [Ezekiel 33:12] states "the wickedness of the evil one will not cause him to stumble on the day he repents his wickedness."
The essence of Yom Kippur atones for those who repent as [Leviticus 16:30] states: "This day will atone for you."

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How do we understand this Rambam? What is the Yom Kippur avodah doing not just in hilchos teshuvah but its very opening?!

According to the Toras Chaim to Eiruvin 19a, our understanding of this phenomenon begins with our understanding of the role korbonos play.

How do we relate to the sacrificial rite?
In a seminal piece, the Ramban (Vayikra 1:9) explains as follows:

[After rejecting the famous view of Rambam on the matter...Translation to follow is based on Chavel ed.]

“It is far more fitting to accept the reasons for the offerings that the scholrs say, namely that since man’s deeds are accomplished through thought, speech and action, therefore Gd commanded that in contrast to the evil deed he should confess his sin verbally in contrast to his evil speech, and he should burn the innders and the kidneys of the sacrifice for they are the seat of lust and thought. He should burn the legs of the animal as they correspond to the legs and hands of man that sinned. He sprinkles the blood representing his (the sinners) blood. These are done to bring to mind to Whom he has sinned and that for all intents and purposes (after all it was to Gd that one sins) it should be he (the sinner) as the offering...The special portions are then given to the Torah teachers to pray (and to help him in the future)”

In sort: we are the korban!

Rabeneinu Bachayay adds to this that the korban represents all the death at the hands of beis din: Chenek (when its neck is grabbed

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before its slaughter), Seriefa (when burnt on the alter), Sekila (pushing the animal to the ground before the slaughter) Hereg (the actual slaughter).

Rabeinu Yona even has a Yehi Rtazon, printed in shaar ha’avodah 16:39-41, that one would say while offering his korban where he states that this korban should be seen as in his place:

“...it is known before you that our will is to rather offer ourselves, may it therefore be Your will that this korban should be in my stead, its blood in place of my blood, its fats in place of my fats, its basar in place of my basar...”

The Gemara in Eiruvin 19a states:

“Says Rav Yirmiya ben Elazer, not like man is Gd. When someone sins to a king and is deserving of death, they will stick a piece of wood in his mouth (so he does not curse the king) as he is burnt at the stake. But not so Hashem...”

The aforementioned Toras Chaim to Eiruvin reinterprets this Gemara as not referring to one who is Chayev Missas Beis Din, rather to one who has to bring a korban.

Gd sees it as if he literally dies for his sins.

He continues to explain that this why Seir L’Azazel is mentioned right at the beginning of hilchos teshuva, to remind us that we are the true korban; Azazel, or another korban simply comes to take our place.

Indeed, we allude to this in our selichos, recited on Day Six of the Aseres Yimei Teshuavh:

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Hen Kedem BaMikdosh B’Kum Zerizim B’Ashmuros/ ...Vein Levonah Vein Ketores/
V’Nesharti Shocharchores/
B’Hisvaados Chatasi Tehi K’Korban Todasi – (P. 642 Artscroll ed.)†

III
Self-Sacrifice, The Theme of These Awesome Days?

At this point one my be bothered by two matters.

First, how does this relate specifically to our avodah during these days?

Secondly, is this not a depressing ideal?

Our first inkling that there is more to this famous poem then beautiful prose, and that its theme is even central to these Days, comes from a most unlikely source.

And an immediate one at that.

In siman 581, the very first siman to all of hilchos Rosh Hashana. The Shulchan Aruch opens with the following:

“We have a custom of arising in the early morning to say Selichos from Rosh Chodosh Elul until Yom Kippur”

Demonstrating that its not always better to be a sefardi, the Rama † Many examples exisit within Selichos to this ideal; see e.g p. 706, line 11

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argues and comments,

“But the minhag of the Ashkenazim is not like this rather...we arise in the early morning to say Selichos on yom rishon (Sunday) before Rosh Hashana, unless Rosh Hashana falls on the Monday or Tuesday (Rosh Hashana can’t fall on a Sunday) following that yom rishon, in which case we begin on the yom rishon the week prior”

This is a mysterious Rama indeed! While most people are aware of the need for a four-day period of reciting Selichos in order for it to begin on the Motzai Shabbos immediately preceding Rosh Hashana, few are able to explain the logic behind this minhag.

The Mishnah Berrura offers two explanations for this strange observance. The first comes from the Levush. He explains that since there is a minhag of fasting for the aseres yimei teshuvah, but because of Shabbos, the two days of Rosh Hashana, as well as erev yom kippur –all which we are forbidden to fast –one will lose our on exactly four days of fasting, we established the ‘four-day rule’ so that we would have the ability to make up these taanisim early.

But it is the second answer offered by the Mishneh Berrura that is truly amazing. Quoting from the Elyah Rabba, he writes:

“And another reason for establishing the four-day rule. For we see by korbonos, where they need four days of investigation (from blemishes) before being offered. And in Parshas Pinchos by all the festival offerings its states “v’hikravtem laHashem”, yet on Rosh Hashana it states “V’asisem oleh” –all this to teach us that on Rosh Hashana we view it as if man sacrifices himself. We therefore establish four days to investigate ourselves from blemishes and all sin and to return from them”!

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The Elyah Rabba is not saying his own chiddush. This idea comes from, and is further explained, in a Yerushalmi (Rosh Hashanah 4:8):

“Why only by Rosh Hashnah is the Korban termed ‘v’asisam’? Says Hakadosh Baruch Hu, since you enter to judgment and come out in peace, I consider it as if you have created a bria chadasha –a new entity”

What the Yerushalmi is teaching is that this idea of making ourselves into a korban, and it being centrak to these days, is not in the literal killing of our bodies, but the destruction of our worst natures.

This breakdown of who we are and overcoming our worst angels is called a ‘self korban’, and if successful it allows us to be seen as new creation of ourselves!

Far from a scary and morbid premise, we becoming korbanos is a maaleh atzumah –to be free from blemish of sin, without spiritual disease.

In fact, we see allusions to this too in the Selichos:

“Please let my voice be as sweet as the odor of corpulent animal offerings of Zion” (Page 228 in Artscroll ed.)

This is the meaning behind a line in unesaneh tokef:
“Ki Lo Sachpotz B’Mos HaMeis Ki Im B’Shuvo V’Chayah.

Explains the Shevet Mussar, how can one not yet dead be called ‘dead’ (Ki Mos Hameis)? Rather, there are people who have diseases of the soul, they are dead men walking.

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To be a korban, the first rule is that one must be alive, a healthy creation!

This is why we use the term Yotzer HaAdam by a wedding: for on that day all sins are forgiven for the chasan and the kalla, and they are like a new, healthy creation.

But perhaps the greatest indication of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh as the focus of these days comes from its main feature:

Akeidas Yitzchak.
We say on Yom Kippur:

“V’Akeidas Yitzchak B’Rachamim Tizkor”

How can it not be B’rachamim?!

Explain the achronim (see Baruch Sh’eamar p. 359), this is because we don’t just mention the ekiedah for the purpose of reminding Gd of that act, rather we are supposed to be reminding ourselves!. We are to mirror it doing these days. Therefore, because we question if we too can self-sacrifice like Yitzchak, we ask Hashem to not view that failure as a mark against us, rather instead for Hashem to see it for an isolated zechus only.

The akeidah is not only the source for our blowing of the Shofar, not only is this act of self-scarifice –at the most literal level –mentioned time and time again in the teffilos of these days, but we have as well the following amazing gemara (Rosh Hashanah 16a):

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“Says Rav Avahu: Why do we blow with the Shofar of an ayil? So that Gd remembers the Akeida of Yitzchak the son of Avraham”

The above part of the gemara is well known. Lesser known is the next part of his statement:

“...and then He will see it as if we too sacrificed ourselves”! Furthermore, note the gemara’s term ‘we too’. Yitzchak, after all, did

not ultimately die on the alter?!

This as well is an allusion to the idea mentioned above that what is being asked of us, and what was being asked of Yitzchak, was not a literal, physical death.

Rashi to Bereishis 22:13 explains further:

Since it is written, “He offered it up for a burnt offering”, surely nothing is missing in the text; what then is the force of “in the stead of his son”? At every sacrificial act he performed on it he prayed saying, “May it be Thy will that this act may be regarded as having been done to my son — as though my son is being slain; as though his blood is being sprinkled; as though his skin were being flayed; as though he is being burnt and is being reduced to ashes” (Genesis Rabbah 56

Meaning that one who gives over their Self to Gd then Gd will see it as if they are a korban, nay, that IS a korban in its truest sense!

The Brisker Rav makes an amazing observation regarding this Rashi.

The gemara in Zevachim 62a wonders how Shlomo and Dovid knew where the makom hamizbeach was:

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“Rav Yitzchak Nafcha says, ‘They saw the ashes of Yitzchak at that place (and thus knew)’”

The Brisker Rav points out the obvious: What ashes? Yitzchak was never burnt?! Unless, as we sais, the giving over of all of ourselves, our surrendering, is all Gd asks of us. And, if we indeed do so, it will be as if, literally, we are korbonos.

When we take three steps back from our confession-filled shemoneh esreh on Yom Kippur, we must be taking three steps away from the heap of ashes –our former selves –that we leave behind.

This past Rosh Hashanah we asked in a drasha why we don’t read from Bereishis on this, the day of creation.

Perhaps we can here, and based on all of the above, offer another approach:

Every other yom tov we are able to imitate the action of the day: we play-escape on Pesach, learn Torah on Shavous, and sit in a Sukkah on Sukkos. But on Rosh Hashanah what are we supposed to do? Create something from nothing!?

Yes!

Create ourselves anew! Break ourselves down. Indeed, Rosh Hashana is not the day of creation of the world, rather of Man, so we too recrate the Man in ourselves. We therefore read from stories that speak to this ideal.

We read the Akeida on Rosh Hashana

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We read Nadav V’avihu on Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur is the Yartzeit for Rebbe Akiva –a man who both literally and mentally died for Yiddeshkeit.

III
How To Attain This Level

Now that we have set the template for our mission, how do we go about attaining it? How does one become a korban? How does one create a Mishkan in their heart?

I believe the answer is through three things:

Teshuvah, Teffila, Tzedaka

Let us briefly demonstrate this.

TEFFILAH -Heart

Teffila is about more than requests. It is about surrendering to will of Gd.

On Selichos of day six we say “v’ahronim kedoshecha”. Many wonder what this phrase means. There was only one Ahron HaKohen!

Perhaps this is a reminder that we all need to become like Ahron, to

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surrender to Gd’s will as he had when Gd took away what was so dear to him -two of his beloved children. The paytan is telling us that there are many Ahrons throughout Jewish history, and that we need to discover the Ahron inside each of us.

This is the korban of Teffila. Indeed, the Navi (Hoshea 14:3) teaches us, and we make sure to read Shabos Shuvah (in the Haftara):

“Instead of bulls we will pay [The offering of] our lips”!

Even more striking are these verses from Tehillim 51:18-19:

You do not want me to bring sacrifices; You do not desire burnt offerings; (19) True sacrifice to God is a contrite spirit; God, You will not despise a contrite and crushed heart.

Amazingly, and indicative that King David was referring specifically to Tefilla in exchange for korban is that immediately preceding verse to these two pesukim, is a verse we all know as a reference to Tefilla. In fact it is a verse that we recite thrice daily as our introduction to Tefilla:

“Hashem Sefasei Tiftach U’Phi Yagid Tehilasechah” 51:17

Furthering this theme of ‘Tefilla’ being the first step to our personal Bilvavi are the words of Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Levi (Sota 5b).

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Quoting the above verses from Tehillim he says:

“When the temple stood a person would sin and offer a Korban. Today when we have no korban Gd sees the person who lowers his sprirt and that is a korban...as it says in Tehhillim (51:19)...”

He is referencing, perhaps, the Ramban ideal, that we are to see the animal as us. Today, we are the animal; through the breaking down of Self.

Ending the catergery of Teffilah, we have Rav Schwab. Rav Schwab (Rav Schwab, On Prayer, Artscroll ed.) explains that each part of Tefillah is our own ascent toward the Holy of Holies.

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Looking at the aerial diagram below‡ we being teffilah in the large ezras nashim where many would gather before the day of korbonos would begin –this represents Adan Olam, Ma Tovu and the extra Teffilos that precede our davening.

The 15 steps to the Uuam represent the 15 birchas hashachar. And so on (see there in full). In other words we see ourselves each morning as a korban making its way to the kodesh hakedoshim.

‡

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TESHUVAH -Body

The Bilvavi of Teshuvah was best described above by the quote of Rav Solaveitchik.

Briefly, again:

“...Just as a sacrifice is burnt upon the alter, so do we burn down, by our confession, our well barricaded complacency, our overblown pride, our artificial existence. Then and only then: “Be you cleansed before the Lrd...”

The night before I gave this drasha I was by a Shalom Zachor where I met another Rav, Rabbi Shlomo Hochberg. He asked me what I would be speaking about Shabbos Shuva, and I replied, “Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh”.

He then took a deep breath and related the following.

When he was a student in Yeshivat HaKotel he had a very close friend who sat and learned all day and night. Sadly, he would soon go on to die defending Israel in a tank during the Yom Kippur war.

About 20 years later Rabbi Hochberg was visiting Israel and decided to visit his old friend’s kever. When he ot there, he found the boy’s uncle there as well. Amazingly, on that very day, they had returned to the family his recently discovered wallet.

It was empty, save for one folded piece of paper. Togather, he and his uncle, opened it. Inscribed on it were the words, “Bilvavi Mishkan

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Eveneh...”.
He had to peform this act in the most literal way so that we may fulfill

through teshuvah.
Of these three –Teshuvah, Teffila and Tzedaka, only one may never

be performed on Yom Kippur. Or so it would seem. This is Tzedaka.

But there is another type of Tzedaka, one that is indeed a sacrfifice, and may turn us into one as well.

The root of Tzedaka is shared with Tzedek Tzedk Tirdof.
I am reffering to how we judge others, I am speaking about our

cynicism.

An emotional charity, charity of judgment.

Even how we judge ourselves.

A recent article (On Being) beautifully illustrates how the late 60’s has given birth to a newer, more dangerous breed of cynicism.

The age of anxiety has given way to the age of cynicism. Among my generation, cynicism is no longer a bad word: it’s being celebrated, and often it’s mistaken for intelligence.
But cynicism is not intelligence. At its very best, it is the cause of missed opportunities as many of my age close their emotional and intellectual pores to new experiences. At its worst, cynicism can be a

TZEDAKA-Mind

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dangerous, world-breaking state of mind...

But there’s the rub. We have to be willing to open ourselves up and to believe in something bigger than ourselves in order to go somewhere. We need to be convinced that there are things worth knowing so that we can cultivate the spirit, energy, and drive needed to follow that journey. We have to be willing to listen to, and be inspired by, the teachings of our elders and the learning of a thousand generations of humanity. We have to trust, even though we are the internet generation with much of the knowledge of the world at our fingertips, that we are not so clever that we can snub our collective noses at the great anthology of human experience. That takes intelligence, yes, but also trust, belief and sometimes even blind faith.

I remember how much my parents disliked the word “hate” so much so that they refuse to use the word to this very day. Today that seems like a strange thought. It’s completely normal in a social setting for someone, having had very limited interaction with another person, to turn around and say “I hate that person” without anyone batting an eyelid.

Conversely, saying “I love that person” would result in eye-rolls at the very least and even serious concern.

This can breed, at its most extreme, the nihilistic and violent worldview that is attracting so many young people to gun violence in Europe, church, and school shootings in the United States, and a whole crop of youngsters from all over the world to join dangerous cults such as DAESH (ISIL) in Iraq and Syria.

Yes, if we open our emotional pores, we can be hurt. If we allow ourselves to love, we can suffer heartbreak. If we set out to write a

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great symphony or build a great monument, we can fail, falter, and fall.
It takes courage, yes, but we should be prepared to jump into the ocean of life. We should be prepared to suffer all the heartbreak, hurt, and failure in the world in order to experience the ups and downs of what it means to be human and to be alive. We can protect ourselves from hurt but then we risk never knowing the ecstasy of love.

On balance, it’s worth it. Life is worth it. For the sake of life, we should be prepared to pick up the pieces, no matter how small, wherever we see destruction. We should be prepared to build new houses of wisdom, better and stronger houses of wisdom. We should be prepared to work hard and suffer in order to recreate ourselves and each other.

We can shy away from the invention of great symphonies, the construction of great cities, the dedication to scientific innovation and the exploration of our universe because we are afraid. We can shy away from curing the most terrible illnesses and saving the most endangered ecosystems for fear of failing but then, by failing to try, we have robbed ourselves not only of any possibility of successful results but we have also robbed ourselves of the journey. “For us, there is only the trying.” said T.S. Eliot in the Four Quartets, “The rest is not our business.”

We are so quick to judge the sincerity of another.

Einstein once said “I do not know with which weapons WW3 will be fought; but I gather that WW4 will have to be fought with sticks and bones”.

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This is where our cynical world is heading.

During this year’s election, so scared were many that the Republican Convention would turn into Chicago of 1968 that millions were spent on security.

But no one showed up.

At least 50 years ago their cynicism made them desire to take over government; today we no longer even believe in the institution of leadership!

Yes, we may seem naïve. Yes, we may get hurt. Yes, we have come to ‘learn’ our friends and family, their quirks and idiosyncrasies. Yes, we are tempted to role our eyes when they try to change.

But we must stop that.

When I was in yeshiva there was a term we would often use, “Faker” . If a boy was having a kosher good time during break and then his friends see him back in yeshiva with a gemara they may yell out to him half-jokingly, “Faker”. But maybe he was faking when he was wasting time. Maybe due to social pressure he left the gemara during those weeks and now he is back to what he really wishes to do!

True, as the above article states, we thereby open ourselves up to great hurt. It is very possible tat by accepting and judging the best in others we may become a korban, but its worth it.

The Beis Haleivi was known as a respected Misnagid among Chasidim. When his daughter became engaged to marry the Bayona

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Rebe’s son many were shocked, including the Beis Haleivi himself. His daughter was once ill and he went to the Chasidic court of the Bayano to be with her on Chol Hamoed Sukkos. Due to unforeseen circumstances the Beis Haleivi could not find a way back to Brisk in time for Shmini Atzeres and so he stayed with his Mechutan for Yom Tov. As we all know, Simchas Torah in a Chasidic court is majestic, the Kavod shown to the Rebbe awe inspiring, and the Kedusha profound. So the rebbe was not surprised when, after Yom Tov when the Beis Haleivi finally found his way back to Brisk, his Chasidim approached him and asked, “So you think the Beis Haleive, after spending such holy days with us and seeing what we are really all about, will become a Chossid?” The Rebbe smiled broadly and replied “No, the famed Beis Haleivi is not going back to being the Rav of Brisk as a newly formed Chasideshe Yid! BUT, I will tell you this result from his witnessing what we are all about: He wont be laughing at us any more!”

This Rabosai should be our central goal as these days wane: can we promise HKBH that we are now Chassidim of HKBH? Can we say that all of our sins will, Betach, never be revisited (Halivay!)? Perhaps not. BUT, we can promise to stop laughing. Laughing at those more Frum than us; Laughing at those more sheltered, and who keep their children more sheltered, from a world that is, or should be scary, that should cause us to over-react, a world that has become, and is fast continuing to become so unrecognizable to our our Neshomos; laughing at those who are trying; and laughing at the thought that we too can become Baalei Teshuva, completely overhauling how we define ourselves. Let us at least promise Hashem that after these Yomim Noarim, after being reminded of the beauty of Torah and Kedusha, we shall laugh no more, be cynical no more.

Sometimes we must break ourselves down as Korban to build

ourselves back up.

Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh –Through making ourselves a korban as we walk the gates of the Temple during Teffila, ready to sacrifice

Bilvavi Mishkan Evenh –through Teshuvah and having to sacrifice our senses and security by being honest with ourselves

Bilvavi Mishkan Eveneh –with our Tzedaka, our Tzedek, our Judgement. We must be willing to risk being hurt SO AS NOT TO HURT ANOTHER.

For, in 50 years from now, some rav may be searching for an idea for a drahsa on stumble on the history of your niggun or your poetry and it may, too, inspire him.