Why Did You Do That? Asking Questions at the Seder

Did You Ask a Good Question Today?

Isidor I. Rabi, the Nobel laureate in physics who died Jan. 11[1988], was once asked, ''Why did you become a scientist, rather than a doctor or lawyer or businessman, like the other immigrant kids in your neighborhood?''

His answer has served as an inspiration for me as an educator, as a credo for my son during his schooling and should be framed on the walls of all the pedagogues, power brokers and politicians who purport to run our society.

The question was posed to Dr. Rabi by his friend and mine, Arthur Sackler, himself a multitalented genius, who, sadly, also passed away recently. Dr. Rabi's answer, as reported by Dr. Sackler, was profound: ''My mother made me a scientist without ever intending it. Every other Jewish mother in Brooklyn would ask her child after school: 'So? Did you learn anything today?' But not my mother. She always asked me a different question. 'Izzy,' she would say, 'did you ask a good question today?' That difference - asking good questions -made me become a scientist!''

From a letter to the editor in the NYTimes by DONALD SHEFF New York, Jan. 12, 1988

Mrs. Rabi was tapping into the idea that we are the people of the question. But where does that come from?

Let's think about the Passover seder. We begin with saying the festival kiddush. So far, just like every other festival. Then, a second cup of wine is poured and the questions are supposed to follow.

Read the description of this section of the seder as written in the Mishnah.

(ד) מזגו לו כוס שני. וכאן הבן שואל אביו. ואם אין דעת בבן. אביו מלמדו. מה נשתנה הלילה הזה מכל הלילות. שבכל הלילות אנו אוכלין חמץ ומצה. הלילה הזה כולו מצה. שבכל הלילות. אנו אוכלין שאר ירקות. הלילה הזה מרור. שבכל הלילות. אנו אוכלין בשר צלי. שלוק. ומבושל. הלילה הזה כולו צלי. שבכל הלילות. אנו מטבילין פעם אחת. הלילה הזה שתי פעמים. ולפי דעתו של בן. אביו מלמדו. מתחיל בגנות. ומסיים בשבח. ודורש מארמי אובד אבי. עד שיגמור כל הפרשה כולה:

(4) They pour a second cup [of wine] for him. And here the son questions his father. And if the son has insufficient understanding [to question], his father teaches him [to ask]: Why is this night different from all [other] nights? On all [other] nights, we eat leavened and unleavened bread, [but] on this night, [we eat] only unleavened bread. On all [other] nights, we eat all kinds of vegetables, [but] on this night, [we eat only] bitter herbs. On all [other] nights, we eat meat roasted, stewed or boiled, [but] on this night, [we eat] only roasted [meat]. On all [other] nights, we dip [vegetables] once, [but] on this night, we dip [vegetables] twice. And according to the son's intelligence, his father instructs him. He begins [answering the questions] with [the account of Israel’s] shame and concludes with [Israel’s] glory, and expounds from “My father was a wandering Aramean” until he completes the whole passage.

1. What is the first thing that happens in this text?

2. What is the son supposed to do?

3. Why would he be asking a question?

4. What if he doesn't do it?

5. What was the original reason for the 4 questions?

The Talmud gives us another way to make sure that questions were asked.

למה עוקרין את השולחן אמרי דבי ר' ינאי כדי שיכירו תינוקות וישאלו אביי הוה יתיב קמיה דרבה חזא דקא מדלי תכא מקמיה אמר להו עדיין לא קא אכלינן אתו קא מעקרי תכא מיקמן אמר ליה רבה פטרתן מלומר מה נשתנה:
The Gemara asks: Why does one remove the table? The school of Rabbi Yannai say: So that the children will notice that something is unusual and they will ask: Why is this night different from all other nights? The Gemara relates: Abaye was sitting before Rabba when he was still a child. He saw that they were removing the table from before him, and he said to those removing it: We have not yet eaten, and you are taking the table away from us? Rabba said to him: You have exempted us from reciting the questions of: Why is this night different [ma nishtana], as you have already asked what is special about the seder night.

As we can see, any kind of question will do. Sometimes it is easier to start with seemingly silly questions. As people get used to interrupting the seder with questions, the questions tend to get more thought provoking.

Ways to encourage questioning at the seder:

  • Hand out candies to anyone who asks a question.
  • Do something silly after kiddush. Someone will surely ask what you're doing!
  • Invite everyone to provide possible answers. A lively discussion can encourage additional questions.
  • Be open to multiple answers.
  • Ask what is different about this year's seder.
  • Remember, there is no such thing as a silly question.