HAVDALAH:
הִנֵּה… כּוֹס יְשׁוּעוֹת אֶשָּׂא וּבְשֵׁם יי אֶקְרָא
Hineh …. Kos y’shuot esa uvshem haShem ekra
Behold …. A cup of capaciousness / fullness I lift and in the name of haShem- of The Name, of the infinite we attempt to hold in a singular word - in that name, I call.
Wine:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן
Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, borei p’ri ha-gafen.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
Spices:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מִינֵי בְשָׂמִים
Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, borei minei v’samim.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of many kinds of spices.
Fires:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מְאוֹרֵי הָאֵשׁ
Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, borei m’orei ha-eish.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fire’s light.
Conclusion / Spearation:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמַּבְדִּיל בֵּין קֹדֶשׁ לְחוֹל,
Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, ha-mavdil bein kodesh l’chol
Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Ruler of the universe, Who distinguishes between the sacred and the profane.
EQUINOX by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat
Notice as the hemisphere,
balanced on the knife-edge
of summer, tilts into fall.
Rise from life's clutter.
Be in your body, even with its aches.
Remember how to breathe.
Amidst wild thyme
and leaves beginning to blaze
berry canes are fruiting.
Ripe blackberries, dark and lush
wait beneath serrated leaves.
And within you, what treasures...?
The work of tilling the heart's soil
pays off now, with this harvest.
Recognize grace. Open your hands.
(ז) שְׁמַע־יְהֹוָ֖ה קוֹלִ֥י אֶקְרָ֗א וְחׇנֵּ֥נִי וַֽעֲנֵֽנִי׃ (ח) לְךָ֤ ׀ אָמַ֣ר לִ֭בִּי בַּקְּשׁ֣וּ פָנָ֑י אֶת־פָּנֶ֖יךָ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֲבַקֵּֽשׁ׃
Sh’ma haShem koli ekra, vchaneinu va’aneinu L’kha amar libi bakshu panai. Et paneikha haShem avakeish.
(7) Hear, haShem, when I cry aloud;
have mercy on me, answer me.
(8) On Your behalf my heart says:
“Seek My face!”
haShem, I seek Your face.
THINGS HAUNT - JOSHUA JENNIFER ESPINOZA
California is a desert and I am a woman inside it.
The road ahead bends sideways and I lurch within myself.
I’m full of ugly feelings, awful thoughts, bad dreams
of doom, and so much love left unspoken.
Is mercury in retrograde? someone asks.
Someone answers, No, it’s something else
like that though. Something else like that.
That should be my name.
When you ask me am I really a woman, a human being,
a coherent identity, I’ll say No, I’m something else
like that though.
A true citizen of planet earth closes their eyes
and says what they are before the mirror.
A good person gives and asks for nothing in return.
I give and I ask for only one thing—
Hear me. Hear me. Hear me. Hear me. Hear me.
Hear me. Bear the weight of my voice and don’t forget—
things haunt. Things exist long after they are killed.
שִׁ֥יר הַֽמַּעֲל֑וֹת
מִמַּעֲמַקִּ֖ים קְרָאתִ֣יךָ יְהֹוָֽה׃
A song of ascents.
Out of the depths I call You, O LORD.
Shir hama’alot mima’amakim k’ratikha haShem.
ADON HASELICHOT
אֲדוֹן הַסְּלִיחוֹת. - Master of Forgiveness : Adon haS’lichot
בּוֹחֵן לְבָבוֹת - Examiner of Hearts : Bochen L’vavot
גּוֹלֶה עֲמוּקוֹת. - Uncovering Depths : Goleh Amukot
דּוֹבֵר צְדָקוֹת. - Speaking Justice : Dover Tz’dakot
חָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ - We have missed the mark before you : Chatanu L’fanekha
רַחֵם עָלֵֽינוּ׃ - Mercy upon us : Rachem aleinu
הַנְּשָׁמָה לָךְ, וְהַגּוּף פָּעֳלָךָ
חוּסָה עַל עֲמָלָךְ
הַנְּשָׁמָה לָךְ, וְהַגּוּף שֶׁלָּךְ
יְהֹוָה עֲשֵׂה לְמַֽעַן שְׁמֶֽךָ
HANESHMA LAKH
The soul is yours, the body is Your action
Be compassionate upon Your work
The soul is to You, the body is Yours
haShem making for the sake of Your name
FORGETTING - JOY LADIN
Zion says, “The LORD has forsaken me, my Lord has forgotten me.” Can a woman forget her baby, or disown the child of her womb? Though she might forget, I never could forget you. —Isaiah 49:14–15
You never remember anything, do you?
How I formed you in your mother’s womb;
nursed you; bathed you; taught you to talk;
led you to springs of water?
I sang your name before you were born.
I’m singing your name now.
You’re clueless as an infant.
When I tell you to shout for joy,
you hear a bicycle, or a cat.
Sometimes, memories of me come back
like children you forgot you had:
a garden; a bride; an image of your mother,
your best friend, your brother, or a cop, or snow, or afternoon.
The heavens shout; mountain becomes road;
gardenias burst into song.
Whose are these? you wonder.
Then you forget, and feel forgotten,
like an infant who falls asleep
at a mother’s breast
and wakes up hungry again.
Your mother might forget you, child,
but I never forget.
I’ve engraved your name
on the palms of my hands.
I show you trees, I lay you down in the grass,
I shower you with examples of my love—
sex and birds, librarians and life skills, emotions, sunlight, compassion.
Nothing connects.
Every dawn, every generation,
I have to teach you again:
this is water; this is darkness;
this is a body
fitting your description;
that’s a crush;
these are bodily functions;
this is an allergic reaction.
This is your anger.
This is mine.
This is me
reminding you to eat.
Turn off the stove.
Take your medication.
This is the realization
that I am yours and you are mine. This is you
forgetting.
Questions on Forgiveness:
- How much of my inability to forgive others can be tied up in my inability to forgive myself?
- How much is a sense of wanting retributive justice, of the other "getting what they deserve," is connected to my unresolved hurt and anger at the world's wounds?
- How can I center restorative justice and tzedek in this world by forgiving myself, by not punishing the mistakes, and by letting go of white cultures ideas of perfection? How can I meet myself where I am now "warts and all" and use that power to meet others too - where they are; in pain and hurt, in our grief and joy, in cluttered bedrooms and park benches and computer screens?
וַיַּעֲבֹר יְהֺוָה עַל פָּנָיו וַיִּקְרָא
(3x, louder each time)
יְהֺוָה יְהֺוָה אֵל רַחוּם וְחַנּוּן אֶֽרֶךְ אַפַּֽיִם וְרַב־חֶֽסֶד וֶאֱמֶת:
נֹצֵר חֶֽסֶד לָאֲלָפִים נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן וָפֶֽשַׁע וְחַטָּאָה וְנַקֵּה
Vaya’avor hashem al panav vayikra
“And haShem passed before him [Moshe] and proclaimed:
(3x, louder each time)
Adonai, Adonai, El rachum v’chanun erekh apayim v’rav chesed ve’emet
Notzer chesed la’alaphim nosei avon vafesha v’chata’ah v’nakeh.
Adonai, Adonai, g-d, Merciful, Gracious, Slow to Anger, and Abundant in Kindness and Truth. Keeper of kindness for thousands of generations, Forgiving of iniquity and transgression and error, Who acquits.
אָשַֽׁמְנוּ. - Ashamnu : We have appropriated [Let us open our hands]
בָּגַֽדְנוּ. - Bagadnu :We have betrayed [Let us re-build trust]
גָּזַֽלְנוּ. - Gazalnu : We have stolen [Let us release debt]
דִּבַּֽרְנוּ דֹּֽפִי. - Dibarnu dofi : We have spoken slander [Let us guard our tongues]
הֶעֱוִֽינוּ. - He’evinu : We have caused distortion [Let us gaze clearly]
וְהִרְשַֽׁעְנוּ. - v’Hir’shanu : We have been uncaring [Let us be open hearted]
זַֽדְנוּ. - Zadnu : We have been malicious [Let us become kind]
חָמַֽסְנוּ. - Chamas’nu : We have been part of violence [Let us acknowledge our place in harmful systems
טָפַֽלְנוּ שֶֽׁקֶר. - Tafal’nu sheker : We have lied [Let us name our truths]
יָעַֽצְנוּ רָע. - Ya’atz’nu ra : We have joined in cruelty [Let us shun punishment theology]
כִּזַּֽבְנוּ. - Kizavnu : We have shrunk ourselves [Let us grow into the world]
לַֽצְנוּ. - Latz’nu : We have decieved [Let us reveal]
מָרַֽדְנוּ. - Maradnu " We have mocked [Let us praise]
נִאַֽצְנוּ. - Ni’atz’nu : We have misused anger [Let us make holy rebellion]]
סָרַֽרְנוּ. - Sararnu : We have allowed power imbalance [Let us question hierarchy]
עָוִֽינוּ. - Avinu : We have bent [Let us support]
פָּשַֽׁעְנוּ. - Pashanu : We have overstepped [Let us be centered]
צָרַֽרְנוּ. - Tzararnu : We have become narrowed [Let us expand]
קִשִּֽׁינוּ עֹֽרֶף.- Kishinu Oref :We have been stiff necked [Let us practice flexibility]
רָשַֽׁעְנוּ. - Rashanu : We have been cruel [Let us forgive the inner critic]
שִׁחַֽתְנוּ. - Shichatnu : We have ostracized [Let us enliven]
תִּעַֽבְנוּ. - Ti’avnu : We have hated [Let us fiercely love.]
תָּעִֽינוּ. - Ta’inu : We have become lost [Let us make new maps]
תִּעְתָּֽעְנוּ - Titanu : We have led others astray [Let us trust their maps as well]
HU YA’ANEINU (but trans)
מִי שֶׁעָנָה - Mi she’anah : May the one who answered …
Adam haRishon - split into binaries
Avraham, stopping his hand on Mount Moriah
Sarah, laughing at her pain
Hagar and Ishmael - evicted into the wilderness
Yitzchak - bound into familial trauma
Rivka - in her existential cry
Yaacov / Yisrael - wrestling with himself and g-d
Leah - in her partner’s rejection
Rachel - desperate for a child
Zilpah and Bilhah - names unpraised by their people
Yoseph - abandoned in prison
Am Yisrael - wandering in diaspora
Those who are Righteous, Full of Chesed/Loving-Kindness, Whole, Upright, and Compassionate (tzadik, chasid, tamid, yashar, rachim)
יַעֲנֵֽנוּ - Ya’aneinu : Answer us
ELEGY ON JOY [excerpt] - MURIEL RUKEYSER
Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings.
Not all things are blest, but the
seeds of all things are blest.
The blessing is in the seed.
This moment, this seed, this wave of the sea, this look, this instant of love.
Years of wars and an imagining of peace. Or the expiation journey
toward peace which is many wishes flaming together,
fierce pure life, the many-living home.
Love that gives us ourselves