דַּע, שֶׁהַמַּחֲשָׁבָה יֵשׁ לָהּ תֹּקֶף גָּדוֹל, וְאִם יְחַזֵּק וִיגַבֵּר מַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ עַל אֵיזֶה דָּבָר שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, יוּכַל לִפְעֹל שֶׁיִּהְיֶה כָךְ, וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם יְחַזֵּק מַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ מְאֹד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ מָמוֹן – בְּוַדַּאי יִהְיֶה לוֹ, וְכֵן בְּכָל דָּבָר. רַק שֶׁהַמַּחֲשָׁבָה תִּהְיֶה בְּבִטּוּל כָּל הַהַרְגָּשׁוֹת. וְהַמַּחֲשָׁבָה תַּקִּיפָה כָּל כָּךְ, עַד שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לִמְסֹר נַפְשׁוֹ בְּמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ מַמָּשׁ, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁיַּרְגִּישׁ צַעַר הַמִּיתָה מַמָּשׁ, עַל יְדֵי שֶׁיְּקַבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁהוּא מְרֻצֶּה לִמְסֹר נַפְשׁוֹ עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם בְּאֵיזֶה מִיתָה שֶׁתִּהְיֶה. וְאֶפְשָׁר לְחַזֵּק וּלְגַבֵּר הַמַּחֲשָׁבָה כָּל־כָּךְ, עַד שֶׁבְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמְּקַבֵּל בְּמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ שֶׁהוּא מְרֻצֶּה לִמְסֹר נַפְשׁוֹ לָמוּת עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם, אֲזַי יַרְגִּישׁ צַעַר הַמִּיתָה מַמָּשׁ.
וְזֶה שֶׁאָמַר רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא (ברכות סא): כָּל יָמַי הָיִיתִי מִצְטַעֵר עַל פָּסוּק זֶה, מָתַי יָבוֹא לְיָדִי וַאֲקַיְּמֶנּוּ, עַכְשָׁו וְכוּ'.
הַיְנוּ שֶׁבִּשְׁעַת קְרִיאַת־שְׁמַע שֶׁהָיָה רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא מְקַבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ אַרְבַּע מִיתוֹת בֵּית־דִּין, הָיָה מְקַבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ מְסִירַת נַפְשׁוֹ בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה חֲזָקָה וְתַקִּיפָה כָּזוֹ, עַד שֶׁהָיָה מִצְטַעֵר וּמַרְגִּישׁ מַמָּשׁ יִסּוּרֵי הַמִּיתָה מַמָּשׁ, כְּאִלּוּ סוֹקְלִין וְשׂוֹרְפִין אוֹתוֹ מַמָּשׁ בְּלִי שׁוּם הֶפְרֵשׁ.
וְזֶה: כָּל יָמַי הָיִיתִי מִצְטַעֵר מָתַי יָבוֹא וְכוּ', הַיְנוּ שֶׁמִּמַּה שֶּׁשִּׁעַרְתִּי וְקִבַּלְתִּי בְּדַעְתִּי מָתַי יָבוֹא לְיָדִי וַאֲקַיְּמֶנּוּ לִמְסֹר נַפְשִׁי עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם, מִזֶּה לְבַד הָיִיתִי מִצְטַעֵר וּמַרְגִּישׁ וְסוֹבֵל יִסּוּרֵי הַמִּיתָה מַמָּשׁ כַּנַּ"ל, עַכְשָׁו שֶׁבָּא לְיָדִי בְּפֹעַל וְלֹא אֲקַיְּמֶנּוּ, הֲלֹא תָּמִיד הָיִיתִי סוֹבֵל זֶה הַצַּעַר מַמָּשׁ מֵהַקַּבָּלָה בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה לְבַד. וּכְשֶׁמְּחַזֵּק הַמַּחֲשָׁבָה בִּמְסִירַת נֶפֶשׁ כָּל־כָּךְ כַּנַּ"ל, יוּכַל לָמוּת מַמָּשׁ מִזֶּה הַצַּעַר כְּאִלּוּ הָיָה מֵת מִזּוֹ הַמִּיתָה בְּפֹעַל, כִּי אֵין הֶפְרֵשׁ בֵּין הַמִּיתָה בְּפֹעַל לְהַצַּעַר שֶׁמַּרְגִּישׁ מֵהַמִּיתָה בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה כַּנַּ"ל. עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ לִמְנֹעַ וּלְהַרְחִיק עַצְמוֹ לִבְלִי לִשָּׁאֵר שָׁם בְּעֵת שֶׁמַּרְגִּישׁ שֶׁקָּרוֹב שֶׁתֵּצֵא נַפְשׁוֹ, שֶׁלֹּא יָמוּת בְּלֹא עִתּוֹ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם:
Know! that thought has great power. If a person concentrates and focuses his thoughts on anything in the world, he can make it happen. Even if he concentrates his thoughts on having money, he will certainly have it. And so it is with everything, provided the thought is with a negation of all the senses.
Thought is so potent that a person is actually capable of self-sacrifice in thought. That is, he can genuinely feel the anguish of death by consciously accepting upon himself a willingness to sacrifice his soul to sanctify God’s Name by whatever form of death might occur. For it is possible to concentrate and focus thought to such a degree, that at the time he accepts in his mind his willingness to sacrifice his soul to sanctify God’s Name, he then genuinely feels the anguish of death.
This is what Rabbi Akiva said: “All my days I anguished over this verse…. ‘When will I have the chance to fulfill it?’ So now….” (Berakhot 61b).
In other words, at the time of reciting the Shema prayer, when Rabbi Akiva accepted upon himself the four forms of capital punishment, he accepted upon himself to sacrifice his soul with such a strong and potent thought that he genuinely suffered and felt the afflictions of death. It was as if they were actually stoning and burning him; without any difference.
This is the meaning of: “All my days I anguished over this verse…. ‘When will I have the chance….’” In other words, from this that I considered and consciously accepted “when will I have a chance to fulfill” sacrificing my soul to sanctify God’s Name—from this alone I genuinely suffered, felt and endured the afflictions of death, as above. “So now that the opportunity has materialized, should I not fulfill it?!” I have always genuinely endured this anguish from just the acceptance in thought.
When a person concentrates his thought with such a degree of self-sacrifice, he can actually die from this anguish, as though he had in reality died from this death. For there is no difference between death in reality and the anguish that he feels from death in thought, as above. This is why a person must constrain and keep himself from remaining in that state when he feels that his soul is about to depart, lest he die before his time, God forbid.