Rambam (Hilchot Nachalot 6:13) stops his discussion about inheritance to say:
“Our rabbis have commanded that one should not treat one child differently from another child even regarding small matters, lest the children come to competition and jealousy, such as what occurred with Yosef and his brothers.”
“Our rabbis have commanded that one should not treat one child differently from another child even regarding small matters, lest the children come to competition and jealousy, such as what occurred with Yosef and his brothers.”
Rabbi Judah Ibn Tibbon Ethical Will to his son (1120-1170)
"My son, listen to my precepts, neglect none of my injunctions. Set my admonition before your eyes; thus shall you prosper and prolong your days in pleasantness! . . . You know, my son, how I swaddled you and brought you up, how I led you in the path of wisdom and virtue. I fed and clothed you, I spent myself in educating and protecting you. I sacrificed my sleep to make you wise beyond your fellows and to raise you to the highest degree of science and morals. These twelve years I have denied myself the usual pleasures and relaxations of men for your sake, and I still toil for your inheritance.
I have honored you by providing an extensive library for your use, and have thus relieved you of the necessity to borrow books. Most students must bustle about to seek books, often without finding them. But you, thanks be to G-d, lend and borrow not. Many books, indeed, you own two or three copies. I have besides made for you books on all sciences, hoping that your hand might them all as a nest.
Seeing that your Creator has graced you with a wise and understanding heart, I journeyed to the ends of the earth and fetched for you a teacher in secular sciences. I minded neither the expense nor the danger of the ways. Untold evil might have befallen me and you on those travels, had not the Lord been with us!
But you, my son, did deceive my hopes. You did not choose to employ your abilities, hiding yourself from all your books, not caring to know them or even their titles. Had you seen your own books in the hand of others, you would not have recognized them; had you needed one of them, you would not have known whether it was with you or not, without asking me; you did not even consult the catalogue of your library.
Therefore, my son! Stay not your hand when I have left you, but devote yourself to the study of Torah and to the science of medicine. But chiefly occupy yourself with the Torah, for you have a wise and understanding heart, and all that is needful on your part is ambition and application.
"My son, listen to my precepts, neglect none of my injunctions. Set my admonition before your eyes; thus shall you prosper and prolong your days in pleasantness! . . . You know, my son, how I swaddled you and brought you up, how I led you in the path of wisdom and virtue. I fed and clothed you, I spent myself in educating and protecting you. I sacrificed my sleep to make you wise beyond your fellows and to raise you to the highest degree of science and morals. These twelve years I have denied myself the usual pleasures and relaxations of men for your sake, and I still toil for your inheritance.
I have honored you by providing an extensive library for your use, and have thus relieved you of the necessity to borrow books. Most students must bustle about to seek books, often without finding them. But you, thanks be to G-d, lend and borrow not. Many books, indeed, you own two or three copies. I have besides made for you books on all sciences, hoping that your hand might them all as a nest.
Seeing that your Creator has graced you with a wise and understanding heart, I journeyed to the ends of the earth and fetched for you a teacher in secular sciences. I minded neither the expense nor the danger of the ways. Untold evil might have befallen me and you on those travels, had not the Lord been with us!
But you, my son, did deceive my hopes. You did not choose to employ your abilities, hiding yourself from all your books, not caring to know them or even their titles. Had you seen your own books in the hand of others, you would not have recognized them; had you needed one of them, you would not have known whether it was with you or not, without asking me; you did not even consult the catalogue of your library.
Therefore, my son! Stay not your hand when I have left you, but devote yourself to the study of Torah and to the science of medicine. But chiefly occupy yourself with the Torah, for you have a wise and understanding heart, and all that is needful on your part is ambition and application.
How would you decribe this note?
Is this the kind of Ethical Will you would like to leave for a loved one? Why or why not?
Is this the kind of Ethical Will you would like to leave for a loved one? Why or why not?
Rabbi Simkha Weintraub, Rabbinic Director at Jewish Board in New York, from interview with the Jewish Ethical Wills Project:
After my father died, my brother went to my father’s office, to the drawer we were supposed to go to when he died. There he found not only the financial files he kept so neatly, but also a letter addressed to the family. It was so wonderful to have an indication that we would have a message from my father to read and to learn from: not just then and there, but for times to come. It was really a Torah of his life, and to this day we get together to talk about it. On his birthday we read and discuss it, almost like giving commentary to his teaching and his life. The letter reflects my father’s personality both in its distinctive handwriting and tone. As my father did in life, the letter quotes liberally from the prayerbook and Jewish texts, and I can hear his voice as I read.
After my father died, my brother went to my father’s office, to the drawer we were supposed to go to when he died. There he found not only the financial files he kept so neatly, but also a letter addressed to the family. It was so wonderful to have an indication that we would have a message from my father to read and to learn from: not just then and there, but for times to come. It was really a Torah of his life, and to this day we get together to talk about it. On his birthday we read and discuss it, almost like giving commentary to his teaching and his life. The letter reflects my father’s personality both in its distinctive handwriting and tone. As my father did in life, the letter quotes liberally from the prayerbook and Jewish texts, and I can hear his voice as I read.
One place to record an ethical will, using words, art, music, or another medium by using this link: https://www.lifeposts.com/milestone/create/?milestone_sub_type=ethical-will
Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 153a:5
We learned there in a mishna that Rabbi Eliezer says: Repent one day before your death. Rabbi Eliezer’s students asked him: But does a person know the day on which he will die? He said to them: All the more so this is a good piece of advice, and one should repent today lest he die tomorrow; and by following this advice one will spend his entire life in a state of repentance.
We learned there in a mishna that Rabbi Eliezer says: Repent one day before your death. Rabbi Eliezer’s students asked him: But does a person know the day on which he will die? He said to them: All the more so this is a good piece of advice, and one should repent today lest he die tomorrow; and by following this advice one will spend his entire life in a state of repentance.
1) How do you experience these texts in light of having recently created or started to create an ethical will?
2) How do these texts reinforce the importance of being prepared and using our remaining time well? What role does the active engagement with legacy play in helping us in both these areas?
- Questions taken from Ethical Wills, A Value Vault For Future Generations
2) How do these texts reinforce the importance of being prepared and using our remaining time well? What role does the active engagement with legacy play in helping us in both these areas?
- Questions taken from Ethical Wills, A Value Vault For Future Generations