Tisha B'av 2022 - What exactly are we supposed to feel?

(1) Alas! Lonely sits the city Once great with people! She that was great among nations Is become like a widow; The princess among states Is become a thrall.(2) Bitterly she weeps in the night, Her cheek wet with tears. There is none to comfort her Of all her friends. All her allies have betrayed her; They have become her foes.(3) Judah has gone into exile Because of misery and harsh oppression; When she settled among the nations, She found no rest; All her pursuers overtook her In the narrow places.(4) Zion’s roads are in mourning, Empty of festival pilgrims; All her gates are deserted. Her priests sigh, Her maidens are unhappy— She is utterly disconsolate!(5) Her enemies are now the masters, Her foes are at ease, Because the LORD has afflicted her For her many transgressions; Her infants have gone into captivity Before the enemy.

Rav Naḥman said that Shmuel said in the name of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi: The Holy One blessed be He summoned the ministering angels and said to them: ‘A flesh and blood king, when a relative of his dies and he mourns, what does he typically do?’ They said to Him: ‘He hangs sackcloth on his entrance.’ He said to them: ‘I, too, will do so.’ That is what is written: “I clothe the heavens in blackness and I place sackcloth as their garment” (Isaiah 50:3). ‘A flesh and blood king, what [else] does he typically do?’ They said to Him: ‘He extinguishes the lamps.’ He said to them: ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “The sun and the moon darkened and the stars withdrew their shining” (Joel 4:15). ‘A flesh and blood king, what does he typically do?’ ‘He overturns the beds.’ ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “Until thrones were set in place and the Ancient One sat” (Daniel 7:9), [implying,] as it were, that they had been overturned. ‘A flesh and blood king, what does he typically do?’ ‘He walks barefoot.’ ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “His path is in tempest and in storm, and clouds are the dust of His feet” (Nahum 1:3). ‘A flesh and blood king, what does he typically do?’ ‘He rends his purple garments.’ ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “The Lord accomplished what He devised; He implemented [bitza] His statement [emrato]” (Lamentations 2:17). Rabbi Yaakov of Kefar Ḥanan explained it: What is bitza emrato? It is that He rent His purple garments. ‘A flesh and blood king, what does he typically do?’ ‘He sits in silence.’ ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “Let him sit alone and be silent” (Lamentations 3:28). ‘A flesh and blood king, what does he typically do?’ ‘He sits and weeps.’ ‘That is what I will do,’ as it is stated: “The Lord, God of hosts, called on that day for weeping and for lamentation and for baldness” (Isaiah 22:12).

However, considering that the people during the Second Temple period were engaged in Torah study, observance of mitzvot, and acts of chesed,why was the Second Temple destroyed? It was destroyed due to the fact that there was sinat chinam during that period. This comes to teach you that the sin of sinat chinam is equivalent to the three severe transgressions: Idol worship, forbidden sexual relations and bloodshed.

Once, Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai, left Jerusalem, and Rabbi Yehoshua followed after him. And he saw the Holy Temple destroyed. [Rabbi Yehoshua said: Woe to us, for this is destroyed –] the place where all of Israel could atone for their sins! [Rabbi Yohanan] said to him: My son, do not be distressed, for we have a form of teshuva just like it. And what is it? Acts of hesed, as it says (Psalms 89:3), “For I desire hesed, not a sacrificial offering.”