Using Shem HaShem in Nedarim and Everyday Speech

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This week's Torah portion deals with nedarim and shevuot. The gemara Nedarim spends considerable time discussing the proper formulation of a binding neder: what has to be said for the neder to be binding on a person? From the pasuk (במדבר ל, ג) it seems that Shem HaShem should be included ("...'כִּֽי־יִדֹּ֨ר נֶ֜דֶר לַֽה"). However, the gemara (נדרים י׳ א) teaches us that the Rabbis eliminated the requirement to use HaShem's Name for fear that a person might formulate the neder using the Name at the beginning (e.g., To HaShem, I vow...), without completing the neder (either changing his mind or, Gd forbid, dying) and end up using the Name in vain. (Worth noting that a person can still make a neder using HaShem's name, but if he does, the neder is held to a higher standard, and nullifying it becomes a lot more difficult.)

Based on this, the previous Satmar Rebbe asked how the Rabbis could institute an obligation to use Shem HaShem in greetings (ברכות נ״ד א); specifically, why weren't Chazal concerned that a person would begin a greeting (using Shem HaShem) and die prior to completing the greeting - HaShem forbid -, thereby using the Name in vain? (The example that the gemara brings is Boaz telling his fieldworkers "HaShem imachem" (ברכות נ״ד א); and while we no longer use that particular greeting, the practice of using HaShem's name to greet others is still prevelant today: Shalom aleichem.)

The Satmar Rebbe explains that a person who honors HaShem's creations (by giving them the person being greeted a kavod of being greeted first) is granted a multitude of brachot, including long life in this world and in the World to come (sources below). So, the person giving the initial greeting has a special protection from Shamayim and need not worry about dying or some other malady (Gd forbid) between using HaShem's Name and completing the greeting. However, the person responding to the greeting is not afforded the same protection as the initial greeter. Therefore, concludes the Satmar Rebbe, the person responding cannot use HaShem's Name except to complete the greeting, and replies "aleichem Shalom" (or, in Boaz's fieldworkers' case, "yevarechecha HaShem").

Notwithstanding the Satmar Rebbe's excellent question and answer, in at least one example, there seems to be a disagreement as to whether beginning with HaShem's name is proper: i.e., comforting a mourner. The ashkenaz minhag is to begin with HaShem's name ("HaMakom yenachem") while sefaradim do not ("min hashamayim tenuchomu"). The ashkenaz position is clearly consistent with any other greeting, so that we might conclude that greeting the mourner carries with it the same brachot and (and therefore, protection) as any other initial greeting.

On the other hand, the sefaradi position may be based on a distinction between the basic reason we greet non-mourners first, which is kavod, and the "greeting" to an avel. The intent of the shiva visitor is to comfort the avel, and not necessarily bestow upon him kavod (this may be highlighted by the fact that the avel is not even permitted to respond to the visitor during the first 3 days of mourning; instead, he is supposed to inform the visitor simply that he is in mourning). This seems to have a practical angle to it as well, as we see that in general a person should run to be the first greeter in order to show the person kavod; but there would be a certain distaste in showing the typical kavod that we bestow on people we greet in our everyday circumstances to an avel given his then current circumstances (see, e.g., אבות א׳:ט״ו, saying that we should greet each person with "a pleasant disposition", which Rambam explains means ​​​​​​​b'simcha).