Even so, the Torah allows one to alter the truth for the sake of pursuing peace, fulfilling a mitzvah, praising a bride, and maintaining one’s humility and modesty. This leniency is only permitted where the falsehood does not affect anyone else adversely, there are no other means available, and one does not do it regularly. Finally, one who strives to be truthful in all his affairs is “walking in God’s ways” and helps to sustain the entire world.
- What determines if something is a lie: the words you say or the message understood by the listener?
- If you remain silent and it results in a deceptive message, is that called a lie?
- What if everyone “bends the truth” and “massages the numbers”? Maybe then falsehood is fine?
- Are there cases where one may indeed alter the truth?
- If so, does this mean that any means, including lies, can be justified by a noble end?!
A non-Jewish religious leader was teaching his congregation about the incident involving Rachav and the two spies (Yehoshua/Joshua 2:1-24). Briefly, two Jewish spies were sent by Yehoshua on a reconnaissance mission to Jericho before it would be conquered, as the Jewish people prepared to enter the Land of Israel. A rumor spread that spies were present in the city. A woman named Rachav, who ran a brothel, hid the spies on her roof. When she was asked by the authorities to hand over the spies, she said that they had already left the city.
The religious leader said that Rachav had done the right thing, just as people hiding Jews from the Nazi’s had to lie.
His congregants disagreed with him, saying that one always has to tell the truth, even at the cost of a life.
The religious leader disagreed, saying that one can lie and repent afterwards.
(We will address this specific case at the end of Section IV.)
As we shall see, in Judaism there are certain limited cases when it is appropriate to alter the truth, for that in itself is the truth. Let us now investigate Judaism’s approach to truth and falsehood:
(ז) מִדְּבַר־שֶׁ֖קֶר תִּרְחָ֑ק...
(7) Keep far from a false charge...
שרש המצוה ידוע, כי השקר נתעב ונאלח בעיני הכל, אין דבר מאוס ממנו, והמארה והקללה בבית כל אוהביו... ואין הברכה מצויה וחלה אלא במתדמים אליו במעשיהם, להיותם אמתיים כמו שהוא אל אמת, ולהיותם מרחמים כמו שידוע שהוא רחום, ולהיותם גומלי חסדים כמו שהוא רב החסד... ועל כן הזהירתנו התורה להרחיק מן השקר הרבה כמו שכתוב מדבר שקר תרחק. והנה הזכירה בו לשון רחוק לרב מאוסו מה שלא הזכירה כן בכל שאר האזהרות...
The root of this commandment is well-known, as falsehood is abominable and vile in the eyes of all. There is nothing more disgusting than it, and malediction and curse are in the house of its lovers... And blessing is only found and resting upon those that make themselves similar to Him in their deeds: to be truthful, like He is truthful; to be merciful, like He is merciful; and to be purveyors of kindness, like He is of great kindness... And therefore the Torah warned us to distance ourselves much form falsehood, as it is written, "From a false matter, distance yourself," And behold, it used an expression of distancing, due to it being very disgusting; something it did not mention in all the other warnings...
והוא מקיים בזה המצוות עשה דוהלכת בדרכיו וכדאיתא בספרי על הפסוק ללכת בכל דרכיו: אלו דרכי הקב״ה, ה׳ ה׳ אל רחום וחנון ארך אפים ורב חסד ואמת וגו'.
[Acting truthfully and avoiding falsehood] is a fulfillment of the mitzvah to “walk in God’s ways” (Devarim 28:9).
As the Sifri explains the verse “To walk in all of His ways,” (Devarim 10:12): “These are the ways of the Holy One, Blessed be He: ‘God, God, Lord, Compassionate and Gracious, Slow to anger, Abundant in Kindness and Truth …’” (Shemot 34:6).
החלק הז' - מי שמתעה את חברו... והנה החטא הזה חמור אצל חכמי ישראל יותר מגזל יען וביען כי שפת שקר אשמה רבה. ונתחייבנו על גדרי האמת כי הוא מיסודי הנפש:
The seventh section: One who fools his fellow.. And note that this was more weighty among the Sages of Israel than theft. For lying lips is certainly [a cause of] great guilt. And we have been obligated about the fences of truth because [truth] is from the principles of the soul.
- If asked, most people pride themselves on their honesty and integrity – they don’t tell outright lies, and their words match their actions. But does one have a love for truth? And furthermore, a disgust for falsehood? For this is the standard to which God holds us.
- The Torah could have simply stated: “Do not tell a lie.” The phrase “distance yourself from falsehood” – used nowhere else in the Torah – indicates the tenaciousness with which every Jew must pursue truth and reject falsehood.
- On a deeper level, the rejection of falsehood and becoming a more truthful person is one of the ways to fulfill the mitzvah to emulate God, because God describes Himself as “abundant in kindness and truth” (Shemot 34:6). Furthermore, a crucial aspect of the health of a person’s soul is his ability to be truthful.
מהו אמת ומהו שקר? בתחלת חנוכנו הבינונו, שאמת הוא כשמספרים עובדות כמו שאירעו; ושקר, כשמשנים מזה. אך זהו רק באופנים פשוטים, אבל למעשה יש הרבה אופנים שבהם אין הדבר כן.
לפעמים אסור לומר דברים כמו שהם, כמו לספר מה שיש בו פגם לחבירו, בלי תועלת והכרח, ולפעמים צריך דווקא לשנות, כשהאמת לא יועיל אלא יזיק, כי אז מה שנראה כאמת הוא שקר, שמוליד תוצאות של רע, ומה שנראה כשקר מביא לתכלית של אמת.
נמצא שאמת הוא מה שמביא לטוב ולרצון הבורא, ושקר הוא מה שנותן הצלחה לעסקיו של שר השקר, הסיטרא אחרא.
What is truth and what is falsehood? When we went to school we were taught that truth is to tell facts as they occurred and falsehood is to deviate from this. This is true in simple cases, but in life many occasions arise when this simple definition no longer applies.
Sometimes it may be wrong to “tell the truth” about another person, for example if it would reveal something negative about him, unless there was an overriding purpose and necessity. And sometimes it may be necessary to change details, when the plain truth would bring not benefit, but injury. In such cases what appears to be true is false, since it produces evil effects; and what appears to be false may help to achieve the truth.
We had better define truth as that which is conducive to good and which conforms with the Will of the Creator, and falsehood as that which furthers the scheme of the Prince of Falsehood, the power of evil in the world.
אדם הראשון קודם החטא לא ידע את הטוב והרע, שהם ה"נאה" וה"מגונה", אבל בשלימות שכלו הוא הבחין רק בין אמת ושקר [רמב"ם, מורה נבוכים ח"א פ"ב].
וביאור הדברים, כי כאשר רואים אנו בבהירות מוחלטת את רעת הרע ואת טובת הטוב, הרי ממילא רואים אנו בכל רק "אמת" או "שקר". פירוש: שהטוב – היינו רצון יקוק – הוא לבדו אמת וקיים, והרע – היינו כל מה שהוא נגד רצון ית' – הריהו שקר ובטל.
כי הרי רצונו יתברך הוא המקיים את כל המציאות וזולתו אין, ואיך יתכן שנברא פעוט ירצא מה שנגד רצון ית'? – הרי בזה הוא רוצה דבר שהוא נגד המציות, ואין זה אלא שרוצה באין ואפס ודמיון שוא, ובוחר הוא באבדון ומאבד עצמו לדעת ...
וזה גם ביאור מה שכתב בנפש החיים הנ"ל שקודם החטא היתה הכניסה לרע כמו הכניסה לתוך האש, ושאחר החטא פסקה הבחנה בהירה זו, ונעשה תערובת טוב ורע .
Before Adam ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, his pure, untainted intellect only perceived things to be either obviously true or obviously false. He did not perceive things as being “good” or “evil.”
In other words, when a person sees with pristine clarity the repugnance of evil and the beauty of good, then he sees in every matter a simple choice of truth over falsehood. Because, on a deeper level, “good” is really that which accords with the Will of God, and it alone is truth and has permanence. Evil is anything which contradicts God’s Will, and is falsehood and nothingness.
Because God’s Will is the only engine and source of reality – there is nothing else. How then could a creature want to do something that contradicts it? It is like he wants something that does not exist, as if he is pursuing a void and false vision. He chooses a vacuum over existence, and sends himself into oblivion...
Based on this we can understand that before Adam ate from the Tree, his choice to imbibe evil into his being was like the choice to jump into a fire. And after he ate, good and evil were now mixed up inside him so that he lost his initial clarity [and could no longer extricate himself from the situation to choose correctly].
The highest level of exercising one’s free will is to realize that evil is total falsehood and has no intrinsic, independent existence [even though it appears to], until he is no longer drawn to it. Instead, he loves good alone.
אמר רבא מריש הוה אמינא ליכא קושטא בעלמא אמר לי ההוא מרבנן ורב טבות שמיה ואמרי לה רב טביומי שמיה דאי הוו יהבי ליה כל חללי דעלמא לא הוה משני בדבוריה זימנא חדא איקלעי לההוא אתרא וקושטא שמיה ולא הוו משני בדיבורייהו ולא הוה מיית איניש מהתם בלא זימניה נסיבי איתתא מינהון והוו לי תרתין בנין מינה יומא חד הוה יתבא דביתהו וקא חייפא רישה אתאי שיבבתה טרפא אדשא סבר לאו אורח ארעא אמר לה ליתא הכא שכיבו ליה תרתין בנין אתו אינשי דאתרא לקמיה אמרו ליה מאי האי אמר להו הכי הוה מעשה א"ל במטותא מינך פוק מאתרין ולא תגרי בהו מותנא בהנך אינשי
Therefore, so long as Rav Tavut was a human living in this world, he could not inhabit the town called Kushtah where both the message and the words had to be accurate (Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, based on Maharal, Netivot Olam, Netiv HaEmet, Ch. 1, s.v. ma’amar zeh).
ויש לדעת כי עיקר המאמר הזה בא להודיע על מעלת האמת, שכל אשר נמשך אחר האמת שראוי אליו הקיום, וכמו שאמרו חכמים (שבת ק"ד א') קושטא קאי שקרא לא קאי, כי האמת ראוי אליו המציאות והשקר ראוי אליו ההעדר.
One has to understand that the point of this passage [in source 3] is to teach the high value of truth, that all which follows truth is suitable for permanence and continuity, as the Sages said, “Truth stands, falsehood does not stand” (Shabbat 104a), for truth is fit for existence and falsehood is fit for emptiness.
Finally, our Sages tell us that one has to “dig in the Torah” and one will find truth. As an example, the final letters of the first three words of the Torah (Bereishit/Genesis 1:1) are the mixed up letters of the word emet (truth). Dig a little deeper and the truth will be clearer: the final letters of the second through fourth words spells emet in order (Rabbi Avrohom Gershon):
בלא זימני' כו'. כי חותמו של הקב"ה הוא אמת ובו קיים את העולם כמ"ש בתחלת מעשה הבריאה בראשית ברא אלהים סופי תיבות אמת ובסוף הבריאה ברא אלהים לעשות סופי תיבות אמת והרי המשנה בדבורו מהרס החותם וקיומו של עולם ואף אם מהרס ופוחת ממנו מספר המועט שהוא א' נשאר מת ובהיפך מי שלא משנה בדבורו הוא מקיים עצמו ועולמו בחותמו של הבריאה שהיא אמת והיינו דלא מת איניש בלא זמניה שהשקר מביא מיתה בלא זמן וכמ"ש מפץ וחרב וחץ שנון איש עונה ברעהו עד שקר כדאמרינן בפרק זה בורר ע"ש:
Since the seal of the Holy One is emet [truth, Shabbat 55a], and through this seal the world is sustained... therefore, one who changes one’s words destroys the seal. And even if one detracts or destroys a little, which is [symbolized by the loss of] the aleph, that which remains is the word mait (mem, taf). Alternatively, one who does not alter his words, sustains himself and his world through the seal of Creation which is emet, which means that no one will have an untimely end, for lying brings an untimely death.
(יח) רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר, עַל שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד, עַל הַדִּין וְעַל הָאֱמֶת וְעַל הַשָּׁלוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (זכריה ח) אֱמֶת וּמִשְׁפַּט שָׁלוֹם שִׁפְטוּ בְּשַׁעֲרֵיכֶם:
(18) Rabban Shimon ben Gamaliel used to say: on three things does the world stand: On justice, on truth and on peace, as it is said: “execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates” (Zechariah 8:16).
- Sometimes what appears to be true is false – for example, to “tell the truth” about another person if it would reveal something negative about him. Other times, it’s the opposite: what appears to be false may help to achieve the truth – for example, to praise a bride to her groom when she may not possess the qualities you are describing. Nevertheless, even when there is a leniency to alter the truth, perfect truthfulness is a goal toward which everyone must strive.
- It certainly takes effort to think carefully before one speaks and acts to ensure that one is always truthful. However, when one does so, one is aligning one’s speech and actions with the Will of God and helping to sustain the world.
Similarly, cheating in business is also prohibited by the Torah. (This also violates the command not to cause distress to others, Vayikra 25:14.)
Shimon: “Did you mail my check yet?”
Reuven: “Sure, I sent it in the mail two months ago. Maybe you misplaced it.”
A and B are executives in a large company. A is B’s boss. B, coveting A’s job, makes a point of treating A with a great show of respect and loyalty. A decides to entrust B with more responsibility. B then uses his position to cause several deals to fall through in a way that reflects badly on A, but leaves B looking blameless. As a result, A is fired, and B is given his job.
Even though B’s earlier respectful behavior toward A did not harm A directly, his behavior right from the start was prohibited under this category of falsehood. (In the above case there might be other transgressions involved as well, such as a theft.)
The following story indicates the thoughtfulness that one must employ to avoid causing a loss of profit to others.
Rabbi Aaron Soloveitchik (Rosh Yeshivah of Brisk in Chicago) was once traveling with his grandson to New York. When he went to the travel agent to buy the ticket, she told him that the airline could give him a companion ticket at a discounted price for a fellow family member. The agent insisted that his grandson would qualify as a companion for the discount. Rabbi Soloveitchik asked to see the terms of the offer and when he saw that this was not the case, and would cause a loss of profit to the airline, he paid full price for the ticket. (Heard from Rabbi Motty Friedman, the grandson-in-law of Rabbi Aaron Soloveitchik.)
Yaakov and Chezkie were telling friends about a camp outing. Yaakov started making up a story about a midnight intruder to their campfire. Chezkie interrupted him and said: “Stop making up stories. There was no midnight intruder.” Yaakov responded: “So what, they’ll never know!”
- Fulfill a mitzvah, and
- For the pursuit of “good and peace.”
Child to parent: I will do my homework right after I finish playing.
(To himself: I have no real intention of doing it then. At least I will put it off.)
Wife to husband: Please clean up this room while I go to the PTA meeting.
Husband: All right. (He has no intention of doing so, but it is more convenient not to make an issue out of it.)
- If the word “promise” is used;
- If the word given is for so small a favor that the recipient has no reason to doubt that it will not be kept;
- If one gives his word in a public setting, since people assume that such a commitment will be honored.
- "I promise to take you to see..."
- "I will take you home." (A five-minute drive.)
- At a public meeting: "I will work on setting up a committee."
Reuven meets Shimon on the road and thinks that Shimon came out especially to greet him. Shimon, who had no intention of coming to greet Reuven, takes advantage of the situation and says, “I came especially to greet you, Reuven!”
Wrong way: You’re my good friend; I am going to give you a special price. (The item is on sale already.)
Right way: You’re my good friend; I’m happy you came when the item is on sale.
“Stand up for Reb David. He has completed the Talmud.” (If he only learned 70% of the Talmud, he is required to say, “I have not yet learned all of it.”)
Mother: What time did you go to sleep last night?
Child: Uh, 10:00. (He really went to sleep at 11:00.)
- To the untrained, it’s either red wine or white wine. But to a wine connoisseur, there are many categories to describe wine. Similarly, to those lacking sensitivity, it’s either a “small lie” or a “big lie.” But to Jews who are connoisseurs of the truth, there are nine categories of falsehood! In descending order of severity they are:
- A falsehood that causes a direct loss to others
- A falsehood that causes an indirect loss to others
- A falsehood that causes a loss of expected profit
- A deliberate inconsequential falsehood
- Offering a favor with no intent to fulfill it
- Backing out of a promise to do a favor
- Pretending to do a favor
- Accepting praise for qualities one does not have
- Convenient inconsequential falsehood
- The more categories a culture has to describe something, the more sensitized one is to it. Can any other people or culture claim to have nine categories of truthfulness?!
The following sources show that falsehood is not only determined by what you say, but also by the accuracy of the message that others understand from your actions.
A friend is selling his apartment. When a prospective buyer comes to see the apartment he arranges that his friends be in the apartment and appear wealthy as if they’re interested in buying it. This is falsehood, even though they remain silent. (Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, Jerusalem.)
מנין לתלמיד שיושב לפני רבו ורואה זכות לעני וחוב לעשיר מנין שלא ישתוק תלמוד לומר (שמות כג, ז) מדבר שקר תרחק
“Here is David, he just finished learning about when it is permissible to lie.” (If he hasn’t learned this topic, then by remaining silent he is telling a lie.)
ומצד הרחוק הזהירתנו שלא נטה אזנינו כלל לשום דבר שנחשב שהוא שקר, ואף על פי שאין אנו יודעין בברור שיהא אותו הדבר שקר...
And from the side of distancing, it warned us not to bend our ears at all to anything that is considered falsehood - and even if we do not know with certainly that it is a false matter.
ומנין לדיין שלא ישב תלמיד בור לפניו ת"ל מדבר שקר תרחק
And from where is it derived with regard to a judge that a student who is an ignoramus should not sit before him to discuss the proceedings? It is derived as the verse states: “Distance yourself from a false matter.” When an ignorant student engages in the proceedings, he is apt to cause the judge to err in judgment.
“He is as tall as a skyscraper.”
“The entire city came to the wedding.”
- Falsehood is not only determined by what you say, but also by the accuracy of the message that others understand from your words and actions, even if you don’t say anything misleading. Therefore, in assessing how truthful we are, we need to consider the truthfulness of our non-verbal communication: facial expressions, body language, and even silence!
- Our rejection of falsehood must be so complete that we do not even listen to words of falsehood, especially where they could jeopardize our own sense of honesty.
- Finally, since falsehood is determined by the message that others understand from your words, if everyone understands that you are exaggerating for effect, then it’s not falsehood, even though the words are not accurate.
החלק הד' - המשקר בסיפור הדברים אשר שמע ומחליף קצתם במתכוין, ואין לו תועלת בשקריו ולא הפסד לזולתו... וזה החלק התירוהו לקיים מצות ודרישת טובה ושלום.
The fourth section: One who lies in recounting things that he heard and alters some of them on purpose, yet he does not have any benefit from his lies, nor does he cause a loss to anyone else... And they permitted this section in order to fulfill a commandment and to seek good and peace.
It is permissible to make up a completely fictional story to improve the mood of a friend who is in the hospital. For example, it is permitted to make up a funny story about how you got lost on the way to visit him, if this will make him happy. (Improving the mood of the patient is part of the mitzvah of visiting the sick.)
Eighteen years later, Reuven and Dinah encountered serious financial difficulties and decided to sell the ring to help pay for their daughter's upcoming wedding. When Dinah took the ring to the original store to have it valuated, the owner insisted that he’d never sold such a ring. Only after going home and looking at the eighteen-year-old receipt did Dinah realize that Reuven had bought a replacement for the lost ring shortly after the wedding and claimed that he was the one who had forgotten it in his pocket – all to save her from embarrassment and keep peace in the family! (Adapted from People Speak by Rabbi Walder.)
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן כֵּיצַד מְרַקְּדִין לִפְנֵי הַכַּלָּה בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים כַּלָּה כְּמוֹת שֶׁהִיא וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים כַּלָּה נָאָה וַחֲסוּדָה אָמְרוּ לָהֶן בֵּית שַׁמַּאי לְבֵית הִלֵּל הֲרֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה חִיגֶּרֶת אוֹ סוֹמָא אוֹמְרִים לָהּ כַּלָּה נָאָה וַחֲסוּדָה וְהַתּוֹרָה אָמְרָה מִדְּבַר שֶׁקֶר תִּרְחָק אָמְרוּ לָהֶם בֵּית הִלֵּל לְבֵית שַׁמַּאי לְדִבְרֵיכֶם מִי שֶׁלָּקַח מִקָּח רַע מִן הַשּׁוּק יְשַׁבְּחֶנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו אוֹ יְגַנֶּנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו הֱוֵי אוֹמֵר יְשַׁבְּחֶנּוּ בְּעֵינָיו מִכָּאן אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים לְעוֹלָם תְּהֵא דַּעְתּוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם מְעוֹרֶבֶת עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת
Following a Jewish wedding, there is a week of festive meals for the bride and groom (Shevah Berachot) at which it is customary for family and friends to praise the bride and groom in front of each other. It is permitted to stretch the truth and exaggerate so that they will be more beloved to each other (Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha’Ezer 65:1).