Bald men and bad jokes

Go up from here, as you have made the place bald: Because when the water was poor, their livelihood stemmed from bringing in water to sell.

(7) “What sort of man was it,” he asked them, “who came toward you and said these things to you?” (8) “A hairy man,” they replied, “with a leather belt tied around his waist.” “That’s Elijah the Tishbite!” he said.

Because Elijah his teacher was a hairy man, and Elisha was bald, they said in derision and ridicule , "Go up to the heavens like your master Elijah", as if to say, "You are not of his pedigree, for he was hairy and you are bald".

The verse states: “And two she-bears came out of the forest and tore forty-two children from them” (II Kings 2:24). Rav and Shmuel had a dispute with regard to this episode. One says there was a miracle, and one says there was a miracle within a miracle. The Gemara explains: The one who says there was a miracle claims that there was already a forest in that place but there were no bears, and the miracle was the appearance of bears. The one who says it was a miracle within a miracle claims that neither was there a forest nor were there bears in that area. The Gemara asks with regard to the second opinion: Why was a double miracle required? And let there be bears and no forest; the forest served no role in the story, so why was it created? The Gemara explains: The forest was necessary, as bears are frightened to venture into open areas but will attack people in their natural habitat, a forest.

§ The Sages taught: Elisha fell ill three times. One was a punishment for inciting the bears to attack the children;...

Rabbi Elai said: In three matters a person’s true character is ascertained; in his cup, i.e., his behavior when he drinks; in his pocket, i.e., his conduct in his financial dealings with other people; and in his anger. And some say: A person also reveals his real nature in his laughter.

The LORD passed before him “and the Lord proclaimed: The Lord! The Lord! God compassionate, God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; yet He does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of parents upon children and children’s children, upon the third and fourth generations.”

They have been quick to turn aside from the way that I enjoined upon them. They have made themselves a molten calf and bowed low to it and sacrificed to it, saying: ‘This is your god, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt!’” The LORD further said to Moses, “I see that this is a stiffnecked people. Now, let Me be, that My anger may blaze forth against them and that I may destroy them, and make of you a great nation.” But Moses implored the LORD his God, saying, “Let not Your anger, O LORD, blaze forth against Your people, whom You delivered from the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand. Let not the Egyptians say, ‘It was with evil intent that He delivered them, only to kill them off in the mountains and annihilate them from the face of the earth.’ Turn from Your blazing anger, and renounce the plan to punish Your people. Remember Your servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, how You swore to them by Your Self and said to them: I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, and I will give to your offspring this whole land of which I spoke, to possess forever.” And the LORD renounced the punishment He had planned to bring upon His people.

(11) There are four kinds of temperments: Easy to become angry, and easy to be appeased: his gain disappears in his loss; Hard to become angry, and hard to be appeased: his loss disappears in his gain; Hard to become angry and easy to be appeased: a pious person; Easy to become angry and hard to be appeased: a wicked person.

The Gemara asks: And is there anger before the Holy One, Blessed be God? Can we speak of God using terms like anger? The Gemara answers: Yes, as it was taught in a baraita, God becomes angry, as it is stated: “God vindicates the righteous, God is furious every day” (Psalms 7:12). How much time does God's anger last? God’s anger lasts a moment. And how long is a moment? One fifty-eight thousand, eight hundred and eighty-eighth of an hour, that is a moment. The Gemara adds: And no creature can precisely determine that moment when God becomes angry, except for Balaam the wicked.

(15) But You, O God, are a God compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

And, yet, there are certain tendencies which man is forbidden to follow in the middle-way, but must distance himself from extreme to extreme. The good way is not merely that man be meek, but that he should be humble-spirited, then his spirit will be extremely lowly. This is the reason why it is said of Moses that he was very meek (Num. 12.3) and not merely meek. This is also the reason why the sages commanded saying: "Be exceedingly humble of spirit" (Pir. Ab. 4.4). They, moreover, said: "He who is of a haughty heart denies the head principle" (Sotah, 4b), even as it is said: "Thine heart be then lifted up, and thou forget the Lord thy God" (Deut. 8.14); and they also said: "Isolated be he in whom there is a haughty spirit, even a little thereof" (Sotah. 5a). So is anger an extremely evil tendency and it is proper for man to remove himself from it to the other extreme. One should teach himself not to get angry, even over a matter which befits anger. If one desires to engender awe in his children and his household, or in the public, if he be at the head of a community, even if he desire to get angry at them so as to bring them back to the good way, he should only act angry in their presence so as to reprove them, but his disposition must remain calm within himself, even as a man imitates, who is angry when the time calls forth anger but in reality he is not angry. The sages of yore said: "He who yields to anger is as if he worshiped idolatry". They also said: "Whosoever yields to anger, if he be a wise man his wisdom leaves him, and if he be a prophet his prophecy leaves him." Verily the life of irritable persons is no life. They have, therefore, commanded to be afar from anger, so that one will train himself not to mind even the things which do cause irritation, for such is the good way. The conduct of the just is to take insults but not give insults, hear themselves flouted but make no reply, do their duty as a work of love, and bear affliction cheerfully. Concerning them the Verse says: "But may those that love Him be as the rising of the sun in his might" (Judg. 5.31).

(5) The angry man does not find favor in the eyes of his fellow creatures; he is in fact hateful in their eyes. And thus, his deeds are not received favorably by his fellow creatures. Even if he possesses knowledge of the Torah and has many good deeds to his credit, people cannot learn from him.

(6) The angry man is a burden on his household, who are always compelled to hear his wrath and his complaints, and his temper brings him very near to a calamity, for he casts too much terror on his household. As we learn in the Talmud (Gittin 7a) concerning Rabbi Hanina, the son of Gamliel; his household was brought almost to the point of feeding him a piece of meat cut from a living creature.

(7) The wrathful man is not gracious or generous. He is constantly seeking revenge and always bears a grudge. Anger brings a man into quarrels for when he is angry with his companions, they quarrel with him and he quarrels with them. And when there is a quarrel, there is, of course resulting envy and hatred. And you already know the evils of a quarrel, as will be further explained in the chapter on quarrels.

(8) Wrath restrains the heart of a man from all good deeds. For when a man is angry, he is insensitive and has no mercy upon the poor. Concerning the Lord, may He be Blessed, it is said "In anger, remember to have mercy" (Habakuk 3:2). But this is far from the ways of man.

(9) Anger vitiates the intent of a man in his prayer, and the Divine Presence cannot dwell where there is anger.

(10) The angry man cannot be very wise, for wrath causes reason to flee from the mind, so that he cannot answer as is proper, and he cannot rebuke as is proper, and all his words are not prompted by intelligence. The angry man bars from himself all corrections and rebukes, for no man feels free to reveal his errors and his shortcomings, inasmuch as every man fears him, — fears to tell him the things he does wrong, lest he be wrathful with him. And even if some person should rebuke him, the angry man will not receive correction because of his anger. In general then, an angry man does not acquire any good quality unless he first removes his anger from his heart. Just as the angry man does not accept rebuke from others, so is he not able to administer rebuke to others, for the Torah has said, "You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and thus not bear sin because of his wrongful conduct" (Leviticus 19:17), which means that first you must rebuke him gently, and in private, and with soft speech, pleading with him that you are thinking only of his own good. And then, if you do this, sin will not accrue to you. But if you rebuke your companion right at the beginning, with an angry voice and with wrath, and you shame him, then you are sinning for your companion will not receive correction from you. For this is human nature, if a man comes to his companion with force then his companion will be stubborn and unyielding to him, and will not listen to him. Concerning this the wise man said in Koheleth, "The words of the wise are heard gently" (Eccl. 9:17), that is to say, the wise man speaks gently.

And you should know that the final sum of the intelligence of a man is his ability to govern his anger. As it is said : "It is the discretion of a man to be slow to anger" (Proverbs 19:11). Anger is very close to arrogance and no angry man can escape arrogance. You already know the evils of arrogance. It is proper for a man to be distant from anger, even on a matter where anger is proper he should hold back his impulse and not be angry. A man who is subject to anger should do this right at the outset. When he resolves in his mind that he must not get angry, he must also determine and resolve that he should not feel any humiliation or any insult. Even though he be rebuked or cursed, he should not feel anything and should not concern himself about it.

nd Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Yosei: From where is it derived that one must not placate a person while they is in the throes of their anger, rather they should mollify them after they has calmed down? As it is written, when following the sin of the Golden Calf, Moses requested that the Divine Presence rest upon Israel as it had previously, God said to him: “My face will go, and I will give you rest” (Exodus 33:14). Rabbi Yoḥanan explained: The Holy One, Blessed be God, said to Moses: Wait until My face of wrath will pass and I will grant your request. One must wait for a person’s anger to pass as well.

The Sages taught in a baraita: A person should always be patient like Hillel and not impatient like Shammai. The Gemara related: There was an incident involving two people who wagered with each other and said: Anyone who will go and aggravate Hillel to the point that he reprimands him, will take four-hundred zuz. One of them said: I will aggravate him. That day that he chose to bother Hillel was Shabbat eve, and Hillel was washing the hair on his head. He went and passed the entrance to Hillel’s house and in a demeaning manner said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Hillel wrapped himself in a dignified garment and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. Hillel said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked him: Why are the heads of Babylonians oval? He was alluding to and attempting to insult Hillel, who was Babylonian. He said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they do not have clever midwives. They do not know how to shape the child’s head at birth.

That man went and waited one hour, a short while, returned to look for Hillel, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, Hillel wrapped himself and went out to greet him. Hillel said to him: My son, what do you seek? The man said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why are the eyes of the residents of Tadmor bleary [terutot]? Hillel said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live among the sands and the sand gets into their eyes.

Once again the man went, waited one hour, returned, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, he, Hillel, wrapped himself and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why do Africans have wide feet? Hillel said to him: You have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live in marshlands and their feet widened to enable them to walk through those swampy areas.

That man said to him: I have many more questions to ask, but I am afraid lest you get angry. Hillel wrapped himself and sat before him, and he said to him: All of the questions that you have to ask, ask them. The man got angry and said to him: Are you Hillel whom they call the Nasi of Israel? He said to him: Yes. He said to him: If it is you, then may there not be many like you in Israel. Hillel said to him: My son, for what reason do you say this? The man said to him: Because I lost four hundred zuz because of you. Hillel said to him: Be vigilant of your spirit and avoid situations of this sort. Hillel is worthy of having you lose four hundred zuz and another four hundred zuz on his account, and Hillel will not get upset.