Save "The Five Dirty Words You Can't Read in Tanach Plus Other Profanity"
The Five Dirty Words You Can't Read in Tanach Plus Other Profanity
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל הַמִּקְרָאוֹת הַכְּתוּבִין בַּתּוֹרָה לִגְנַאי — קוֹרִין אוֹתָן לְשֶׁבַח, כְּגוֹן: ״יִשְׁגָּלֶנָּה״ — יִשְׁכָּבֶנָּה, ״בַּעֲפוֹלִים״ — בַּטְּחוֹרִים, ״חִרְיוֹנִים״ — דִּבְיוֹנִים, ״לֶאֱכוֹל אֶת חוֹרֵיהֶם וְלִשְׁתּוֹת אֶת מֵימֵי שִׁינֵּיהֶם״ — לֶאֱכוֹל אֶת צוֹאָתָם וְלִשְׁתּוֹת אֶת מֵימֵי רַגְלֵיהֶם.
§ The Sages taught in a baraita: All of the verses that are written in the Torah in a coarse manner are read in a refined manner. For example, the term “shall lie with her [yishgalena]” (Deuteronomy 28:30) is read as though it said yishkavena, which is a more refined term. The term “with hemorrhoids [bafolim]” (Deuteronomy 28:27) is read bateḥorim. The term “doves’ dung [ḥiryonim]” (II Kings 6:25) is read divyonim. The phrase “to eat their own excrement [ḥoreihem] and drink their own urine [meimei shineihem]” (II Kings 18:27) is read with more delicate terms: To eat their own excrement [tzo’atam] and drink their own urine [meimei ragleihem].
וַיֹּ֣אמֶר רַבְשָׁקֵ֗ה הַאֶ֨ל אֲדֹנֶ֤יךָ וְאֵלֶ֙יךָ֙ שְׁלָחַ֣נִי אֲדֹנִ֔י לְדַבֵּ֖ר אֶת־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה הֲלֹ֣א עַל־הָאֲנָשִׁ֗ים הַיֹּשְׁבִים֙ עַל־הַ֣חוֹמָ֔ה לֶאֱכֹ֣ל אֶת־[צוֹאָתָ֗ם] (חראיהם) וְלִשְׁתּ֛וֹת אֶת־[מֵימֵ֥י רַגְלֵיהֶ֖ם] (שיניהם) עִמָּכֶֽם׃
But the Rabshakeh replied, “Was it to your master and to you that my master sent me to speak those words? It was precisely to the men who are sitting on the wall—who will have to eat their dung and drink their urine with you.”
אִשָּׁ֣ה תְאָרֵ֗שׂ וְאִ֤ישׁ אַחֵר֙ (ישגלנה) [יִשְׁכָּבֶ֔נָּה] בַּ֥יִת תִּבְנֶ֖ה וְלֹא־תֵשֵׁ֣ב בּ֑וֹ כֶּ֥רֶם תִּטַּ֖ע וְלֹ֥א תְחַלְּלֶֽנּוּ׃
A woman you will betroth, but another man will lie with her,
a house you will build, but you will not dwell in it,
a vineyard you will plant, but you will not put-it-to-use,
וַיִּֽחַר־אַ֤ף שָׁאוּל֙ בִּיה֣וֹנָתָ֔ן וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֔וֹ בֶּֽן־נַעֲוַ֖ת הַמַּרְדּ֑וּת הֲל֣וֹא יָדַ֗עְתִּי כִּֽי־בֹחֵ֤ר אַתָּה֙ לְבֶן־יִשַׁ֔י לְבׇ֨שְׁתְּךָ֔ וּלְבֹ֖שֶׁת עֶרְוַ֥ת אִמֶּֽךָ׃
Saul flew into a rage against Jonathan. “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman!” he shouted. “I know that you side with the son of Jesse—to your shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness!
וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אֲלֵיהֶ֜ם רַבְשָׁקֵ֗ה הַעַ֨ל אֲדֹנֶ֤יךָ וְאֵלֶ֙יךָ֙ שְׁלָחַ֣נִי אֲדֹנִ֔י לְדַבֵּ֖ר אֶת־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה הֲלֹ֣א עַל־הָאֲנָשִׁ֗ים הַיֹּֽשְׁבִים֙ עַל־הַ֣חֹמָ֔ה לֶֽאֱכֹ֣ל אֶת־[צוֹאָתָ֗ם] (חריהם) וְלִשְׁתּ֛וֹת אֶת־[מֵימֵ֥י רַגְלֵיהֶ֖ם] (שניהם) עִמָּכֶֽם׃
But the Rabshakeh answered them, “Was it to your master and to you that my master sent me to speak those words? It was precisely to the men who are sitting on the wall—who will have to eat their dung and drink their urine with you.”
וַיְדַבְּר֣וּ אֵלָ֗יו הַיְלָדִים֙ אֲשֶׁ֨ר גָּדְל֣וּ אִתּוֹ֮ לֵאמֹר֒ כֹּה־תֹאמַ֣ר לָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֡ה אֲשֶׁר֩ דִּבְּר֨וּ אֵלֶ֜יךָ לֵאמֹ֗ר אָבִ֙יךָ֙ הִכְבִּ֣יד אֶת־עֻלֵּ֔נוּ וְאַתָּ֖ה הָקֵ֣ל מֵעָלֵ֑ינוּ כֹּ֚ה תְּדַבֵּ֣ר אֲלֵיהֶ֔ם קׇטׇנִּ֥י עָבָ֖ה מִמׇּתְנֵ֥י אָבִֽי׃
And the young men who had grown up with him answered, “Speak thus to the people who said to you, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, now you make it lighter for us.’ Say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s loins.
וַֽתִּפְקְדִ֔י אֵ֖ת זִמַּ֣ת נְעוּרָ֑יִךְ בַּעְשׂ֤וֹת מִמִּצְרַ֙יִם֙ דַּדַּ֔יִךְ לְמַ֖עַן שְׁדֵ֥י נְעוּרָֽיִךְ׃ {ס}
Thus you reverted to the wantonness of your youth, remembering your youthful breasts, when the men of Egypt handled your nipples.
וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם כַּעֲצַ֤ת הַיְלָדִים֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אָבִי֙ הִכְבִּ֣יד אֶֽת־עֻלְּכֶ֔ם וַאֲנִ֖י אֹסִ֣יף עַֽל־עֻלְּכֶ֑ם אָבִ֗י יִסַּ֤ר אֶתְכֶם֙ בַּשּׁוֹטִ֔ים וַאֲנִ֕י אֲיַסֵּ֥ר אֶתְכֶ֖ם בָּעַקְרַבִּֽים׃
He spoke to them in accordance with the advice of the young men, and said, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father flogged you with whips, but I will flog you with scorpions.”
לָכֵ֗ן הִנְנִ֨י מֵבִ֤יא רָעָה֙ אֶל־בֵּ֣ית יָרׇבְעָ֔ם וְהִכְרַתִּ֤י לְיָֽרׇבְעָם֙ מַשְׁתִּ֣ין בְּקִ֔יר עָצ֥וּר וְעָז֖וּב בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וּבִֽעַרְתִּי֙ אַחֲרֵ֣י בֵית־יָרׇבְעָ֔ם כַּאֲשֶׁ֛ר יְבַעֵ֥ר הַגָּלָ֖ל עַד־תֻּמּֽוֹ׃
Therefore I will bring disaster upon the House of Jeroboam and will cut off from Jeroboam every male, bond and free,-a in Israel. I will sweep away the House of Jeroboam utterly, as dung is swept away.
וַיֹּ֣אמֶר דָּוִ֗ד אֶֽל־הָאֲנָשִׁ֞ים הָעֹמְדִ֣ים עִמּוֹ֮ לֵאמֹר֒ מַה־יֵּעָשֶׂ֗ה לָאִישׁ֙ אֲשֶׁ֤ר יַכֶּה֙ אֶת־הַפְּלִשְׁתִּ֣י הַלָּ֔ז וְהֵסִ֥יר חֶרְפָּ֖ה מֵעַ֣ל יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּ֣י מִ֗י הַפְּלִשְׁתִּ֤י הֶעָרֵל֙ הַזֶּ֔ה כִּ֣י חֵרֵ֔ף מַעַרְכ֖וֹת אֱלֹהִ֥ים חַיִּֽים׃
David asked the men standing near him, “What will be done for the man who kills that Philistine and removes the disgrace from Israel? Who is that uncircumcised Philistine that he dares defy the ranks of the living God?”
גַּ֧ם אֶֽת־הָאֲרִ֛י גַּם־הַדֹּ֖ב הִכָּ֣ה עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ וְֽ֠הָיָ֠ה הַפְּלִשְׁתִּ֨י הֶעָרֵ֤ל הַזֶּה֙ כְּאַחַ֣ד מֵהֶ֔ם כִּ֣י חֵרֵ֔ף מַעַרְכֹ֖ת אֱלֹהִ֥ים חַיִּֽים׃ {ס}
Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and that uncircumcised Philistine shall end up like one of them, for he has defied the ranks of the living God.
וַיֹּ֥אמֶר הַפְּלִשְׁתִּ֖י אֶל־דָּוִ֑ד לְכָ֣ה אֵלַ֔י וְאֶתְּנָה֙ אֶת־בְּשָׂ֣רְךָ֔ לְע֥וֹף הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם וּלְבֶהֱמַ֥ת הַשָּׂדֶֽה׃ {ס}
and the Philistine said to David, “Come here, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the sky and the beasts of the field.”