Yedid Nefesh - Longing to Connect

30 Adar I 5782 | 3 March 2022

From Rabbi Elazar ben Moshe Azikri 16th century (kabbalistic-ethical treatise Sefer Haredim, manuscript published in 1597 in Venice.)

Text of Yedid Nefesh on Sefaria (without nikkudot)

Link to Open Siddur - Yedid Nefesh history, text, images of historical texts (an informative page with lyrics, recordings, and photos of old siddurim / pages showing the text)

I love this piyyut. For years I've had the feeling that somehow I've known it... for a very long time; perhaps... since before I can remember. There is something about the longing that it expresses that feels so deep, and so true, and so timeless, to me.

נֶפֶש‎ יְדִיד Yedid nefesh... beloved of my soul... companion of my soul... one who loves my soul... draw me to you... I long to be united with you...

These are personal and intimate words, the passionate words of a lover longing to connect with the beloved, with the hints (or more than hints) of erotic attachment that so often suffuse Kabbalistic texts about connecting with and cleaving to Hashem. Not surprisingly, there are many resonances with Shir Hashirim; in some cases, identical words or phrases; in others, similar ideas. Among these connections:

Shir Hashirim 1:4 מׇשְׁכֵ֖נִי אַחֲרֶ֣יךָ

2:5, 5:8 כִּי־חוֹלַ֥ת אַהֲבָ֖ה אָֽנִ

2:7-9,2:17, 8:14 etc: description of the beloved like a gazelle or stag bounding over the hills (resonating with אַיָּל in the first verse of Yedid Nefesh).

4:11 נֹ֛פֶת תִּטֹּ֥פְנָה The sweetness - like a dripping honeycomb - of union with the beloved

6:10 the radiance of the beloved מִי־זֹ֥את הַנִּשְׁקָפָ֖ה כְּמוֹ־שָׁ֑חַר יָפָ֣ה כַלְּבָנָ֗ה בָּרָה֙ כַּֽחַמָּ֔ה

The poem itself most likely is of 16th Century Kabbalistic origin. The identity of its author is somewhat obscure; most often it is ‎attributed to the sixteenth century kabbalist, Rabbi Elazar ben Moshe Azikri (1533-1600), who first ‎published (but did not claim authorship of) it in Sefer Haredim in Venice.

There are four verses of three lines each (or six lines/ verse, depending on the editor's preference), with the first letter of each verse spelling, in acrostic fashion, the representation of God's name.

In my Reform experience, I have most often heard Yedid Nefesh sung at Kabbalat Shabbat. ‎Some sing this piyyut during Seudah Shelishit. I understand that among Hasidim, Yedid Nefesh is sung every morning during Shacharit, before the start of Pesukei dezimra, thus ‎arousing the love of God. (I love the idea of including Yedid Nefesh in preparation for Pesukei dezimra.)

When I realized that I wanted to compose a new niggun for this piyyut, I knew that I wanted my new melody to convey a quality of yearning (even if it would be difficult for me to sing it!). The melody that came to me wants to express longing, wistfulness... an awareness of the separation between God and me; and my intense wish to connect. Thus, my version has ended up being less up-tempo than some familiar versions of this piyyut, and also in a minor key. I hope that my niggun conveys an ardent desire to be united with God.

I've updated the text of the piyyut in a number of places, following in the custom of contemporary progressive Jewish interpretation. The guiding principle in these changes was to align the text with me as a female person singing the piyyut; thus, more closely representing my authorship as a female person who is a lover of God and wishes to cleave to God with a sense of agency.

Here’s are the changes I've made in the text:

(1) I've changed verbs referring to the singer / speaker in the second or third person from masculine to feminine. These are in the first stanza: you'll see תִּשְׁתַּחֲוֶה instead of יִשְׁתַּחֲוֶה and תָּרוּץ instead of יָרוּץ.

(2) Similarly I've changed pronouns that refer to the singer / speaker to feminine ones. Example: in the last line of the first verse, you'll see לָהּ instead of לוֹ.
(3) Here's a very important change in the last line of the third verse: I’ve replaced שִפְחַת (maidservant / handmaiden / concubine) with דּוֹבֶקֶת (feminine first person singular participle of the verb דבק, to cleave).

When I ask to be strengthened and healed in order to be in a deeper connection with God, I’m expressing my wish to be someone who can more effectively cleave to God, rather than wishing to be in a maidservant / handmaiden/ concubine role. Thus, for me, דּוֹבֶקֶת resonates with more authenticity and comfort, suggesting more agency and a different element of autonomy (perhaps paradoxical, since I am expressing a wish to connect).

(I discovered that in contemporary versions, שִפְחַת is frequently replaced by שִׂמְחַת, but but for me, שִׂמְחַת doesn't convey the yearning to connect that I find in the heart of this piyyut.)

(4) In verse three (first line) I replaced בֵּן with בַּת ; thus, בַּת אֲהוּבֶךָ rather than בֵּן אֲהוּבֶךָ.

Here is my version of Yedid Nefesh, with my revisions, and the acrostic, highlighted.

(I would be glad to share my melody for Yedid Nefesh with you. Please contact me via my Sefaria profile.)

Yedid Nefesh - translation - Anita Josefa Barzman M.D.

Beloved of my soul, protector whose mercy encompasses me,

Draw me - your devoted servant - according to your desire and will.

Then I, your devoted one, will run to you like a gazelle,

And I will bow to your majestic splendor.

For me, your love surpasses everything - sweeter than a honeycomb, sweeter than any taste I can imagine.

Gorgeous and resplendent radiance, outside of time,

My soul is ill, is suffering, with love for you.

So please, heal her, heal my soul; and show her the beauty of your radiance.

Strengthen my soul, heal her.

And I will be one who cleaves to you forever.

Timeless one, please hasten with your mercy.

And I beg you, pity this daughter of your love.

This experience of yearning for you has made me pale.

Please, swiftly show me the beauty of your strength .

Darling and desired of my heart, please pity me and do not hide yourself.

I beg you, my beloved, reveal how you can cover me, with the shelter of your perfection and wholeness and peace.

Illuminate the land, the earth, the world, with your glory. We will rejoice and delight in you.

My love, hurry, for the time is coming. Bestow your grace on me` as you have done in the past, and always will.

Link to Zemirot Database

Here is my favorite recorded version of Yedid Nefesh. To my ear, it has a sort of cosmic / spacey atmosphere. (It doesn't include all four stanzas.)

Next is a beautiful lyrical version of Yedid Nefesh sung by a woman. My thanks to my teacher in San Francisco Cantor Marsha Attie (an AJRCA alumna!) for sharing this link with me.

Familiar melody, simple arrangement:

Following is a another beautiful version of Yedid Nefesh sung by a woman; again, my thanks to my teacher in San Francisco Cantor Marsha Attie (an AJRCA alumna!) for sharing this link with me.

Beautiful melody, expressively sung, expansive orchestration (photos etc exclusively of men and male teachers...)

Very recent / modern version (2019) that starts with a lengthy niggun; text starts at 1:57. (I was trying to find a version that included women's voices.)

May we all be blessed to connect to the Divine with love and devotion.