Foundations of Jewish Living: Birth through B.Mitzvah

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר יְהֹוָ֖ה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר׃ (ב) דַּבֵּ֞ר אֶל־בְּנֵ֤י יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אִשָּׁה֙ כִּ֣י תַזְרִ֔יעַ וְיָלְדָ֖ה זָכָ֑ר וְטָֽמְאָה֙ שִׁבְעַ֣ת יָמִ֔ים כִּימֵ֛י נִדַּ֥ת דְּוֺתָ֖הּ תִּטְמָֽא׃ (ג) וּבַיּ֖וֹם הַשְּׁמִינִ֑י יִמּ֖וֹל בְּשַׂ֥ר עׇרְלָתֽוֹ׃ (ד) וּשְׁלֹשִׁ֥ים יוֹם֙ וּשְׁלֹ֣שֶׁת יָמִ֔ים תֵּשֵׁ֖ב בִּדְמֵ֣י טׇהֳרָ֑ה בְּכׇל־קֹ֣דֶשׁ לֹֽא־תִגָּ֗ע וְאֶל־הַמִּקְדָּשׁ֙ לֹ֣א תָבֹ֔א עַד־מְלֹ֖את יְמֵ֥י טׇהֳרָֽהּ׃ (ה) וְאִם־נְקֵבָ֣ה תֵלֵ֔ד וְטָמְאָ֥ה שְׁבֻעַ֖יִם כְּנִדָּתָ֑הּ וְשִׁשִּׁ֥ים יוֹם֙ וְשֵׁ֣שֶׁת יָמִ֔ים תֵּשֵׁ֖ב עַל־דְּמֵ֥י טׇהֳרָֽה׃

Leviticus 12:1-5

(1) The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: (2) Speak to the Israelite people thus: When a woman at childbirth bears a male, she shall be unclean seven days; she shall be unclean as at the time of her menstrual infirmity.— (3) On the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.— (4) She shall remain in a state of blood purification for thirty-three days: she shall not touch any consecrated thing, nor enter the sanctuary until her period of purification is completed. (5) If she bears a female, she shall be unclean two weeks as during her menstruation, and she shall remain in a state of blood purification for sixty-six days.

בראשית ג׳:ט״ז

(טז) אֶֽל־הָאִשָּׁ֣ה אָמַ֗ר הַרְבָּ֤ה אַרְבֶּה֙ עִצְּבוֹנֵ֣ךְ וְהֵֽרֹנֵ֔ךְ בְּעֶ֖צֶב תֵּֽלְדִ֣י בָנִ֑ים וְאֶל־אִישֵׁךְ֙ תְּשׁ֣וּקָתֵ֔ךְ וְה֖וּא יִמְשׇׁל־בָּֽךְ׃ {ס}

Genesis 3:16

(16) And to the woman He said,
“I will make most severe
Your pangs in childbearing;
In pain shall you bear children.
Yet your urge shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

בראשית כ״א:ד׳

וַיָּ֤מׇל אַבְרָהָם֙ אֶת־יִצְחָ֣ק בְּנ֔וֹ בֶּן־שְׁמֹנַ֖ת יָמִ֑ים כַּאֲשֶׁ֛ר צִוָּ֥ה אֹת֖וֹ אֱלֹהִֽים׃

Genesis 21:4

And when his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God had commanded him.

משנה אבות ה׳:כ״א

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, בֶּן חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים לַמִּקְרָא, בֶּן עֶשֶׂר לַמִּשְׁנָה, בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַמִּצְוֹת, בֶּן חֲמֵשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַתַּלְמוּד, בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדֹּף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִּקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ, בֶּן מֵאָה כְּאִלּוּ מֵת וְעָבַר וּבָטֵל מִן הָעוֹלָם:

Pirkei Avot 5:21

He used to say: At five years of age the study of Scripture; At ten the study of Mishnah; At thirteen subject to the commandments; At fifteen the study of Talmud; At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of “strength”; At ninety a bent body; At one hundred, as good as dead and gone completely out of the world.

משנה נדה ה׳:ו׳

(ו) בַּת אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרֶיהָ נִבְדָּקִין. בַּת שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרֶיהָ קַיָּמִין. וּבוֹדְקִין כָּל שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה.

בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרָיו נִבְדָּקִים. בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, נְדָרָיו קַיָּמִין. וּבוֹדְקִין כָּל שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה. קֹדֶם לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאָמְרוּ יוֹדְעִין אָנוּ לְשֵׁם מִי נָדָרְנוּ, לְשֵׁם מִי הִקְדָּשְׁנוּ, אֵין נִדְרֵיהֶם נֶדֶר וְאֵין הֶקְדֵּשָׁן הֶקְדֵּשׁ. לְאַחַר הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאָמְרוּ אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִין לְשֶׁם מִי נָדָרְנוּ, לְשֶׁם מִי הִקְדָּשְׁנוּ, נִדְרָן נֶדֶר וְהֶקְדֵּשָׁן הֶקְדֵּשׁ:

Mishnah Niddah 5:6

(6) With regard to a girl who is eleven years and one day old, her vows are examined to ascertain whether she is aware of the meaning of her vow and in Whose name she vowed. Once she is twelve years and one day old and has grown two pubic hairs, which is a sign of adulthood, even without examination her vows are in effect. And one examines her vows throughout the entire twelfth year until her twelfth birthday.

With regard to a boy who is twelve years and one day old, his vows are examined to ascertain whether he is aware of the meaning of his vow and in Whose name he vowed. Once he is thirteen years and one day old and has grown two pubic hairs, even without examination his vows are in effect. And one examines his vows throughout the entire thirteenth year until his thirteenth birthday. Prior to that time, eleven years and one day for a girl and twelve years and one day for a boy, even if they said: We know in Whose name we vowed and in Whose name we consecrated, their vow is not a valid vow and their consecration is not a valid consecration. After that time, twelve years and one day for a girl and thirteen years and one day for a boy, even if they said: We do not know in Whose name we vowed and in Whose name we consecrated, their vow is a valid vow and their consecration is a valid consecration.

משנה נדה ו׳:י״א

(יא) תִּינוֹקֶת שֶׁהֵבִיאָה שְׁתֵּי שְׂעָרוֹת, אוֹ חוֹלֶצֶת אוֹ מִתְיַבֶּמֶת, וְחַיֶּבֶת בְּכָל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה.

וְכֵן תִּינוֹק שֶׁהֵבִיא שְׁתֵּי שְׂעָרוֹת, חַיָּב בְּכָל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה. וְרָאוּי לִהְיוֹת בֵּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה, מִשֶּׁיָּבִיא שְׁתֵּי שְׂעָרוֹת עַד שֶׁיַּקִּיף זָקָן, הַתַּחְתּוֹן וְלֹא הָעֶלְיוֹן, אֶלָּא שֶׁדִּבְּרוּ חֲכָמִים בְּלָשׁוֹן נְקִיָּה. תִּינוֹקֶת שֶׁהֵבִיאָה שְׁתֵּי שְׂעָרוֹת, אֵינָהּ יְכוֹלָה לְמָאֵן. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר, עַד שֶׁיִּרְבֶּה הַשָּׁחֹר:

Mishnah Niddah 6:11

(11) A young girl who reached the age of puberty and grew two pubic hairs is an adult. If her childless husband dies, she either performs ḥalitza and is thereby permitted to marry anyone, or enters into levirate marriage with her husband’s brother. And furthermore, such a girl is obligated to fulfill all the mitzvot stated in the Torah in which women are obligated.

And likewise, a young boy who reached the age of puberty and grew two pubic hairs is an adult and is obligated to fulfill all the mitzvot stated in the Torah. And he is fit to be declared a stubborn and rebellious son if he performs the actions that warrant that designation, from when he grows two pubic hairs until his beard will form a circle. During that period, although he is an adult and punishable for his actions, he is incapable of fathering a child. Consequently, as he is a son and not a father, he can be designated a stubborn and rebellious son. The mishna explains that the reference is to the lower, pubic, hair, and not to the upper, facial, hair. But the term beard is used, despite its being subject to misinterpretation, due to the fact that the Sages spoke euphemistically. A young girl who reached the age of puberty and grew two pubic hairs can no longer perform refusal to end a marriage with a husband to whom she was married as a minor by her mother and brothers after her father’s death. Rabbi Yehuda says: She retains the right to perform refusal until the pubic hair will grow to the extent that the black hair will be preponderant in the pubic area.

יומא פ״ב א:א׳-ד׳

מַתְנִי׳ הַתִּינוֹקוֹת אֵין מְעַנִּין אוֹתָן בְּיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים, אֲבָל מְחַנְּכִין אוֹתָן לִפְנֵי שָׁנָה וְלִפְנֵי שְׁנָתַיִים, בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁיִּהְיוּ רְגִילִין בְּמִצְוֹת. גְּמָ׳ הַשְׁתָּא בִּפְנֵי שְׁתַּיִם מְחַנְּכִין לְהוּ — בִּפְנֵי שָׁנָה מִבַּעְיָא? אָמַר רַב חִסְדָּא, לָא קַשְׁיָא: הָא — בְּחוֹלֶה, הָא — בְּבָרִיא. אָמַר רַב הוּנָא: בֶּן שְׁמוֹנֶה וּבֶן תֵּשַׁע — מְחַנְּכִין אוֹתוֹ לְשָׁעוֹת. בֶּן עֶשֶׂר וּבֶן אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה — מַשְׁלִימִין מִדְּרַבָּנַן, בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה — מַשְׁלִימִין מִדְּאוֹרָיְיתָא בְּתִינוֹקֶת. וְרַב נַחְמָן אָמַר: בֶּן תֵּשַׁע בֶּן עֶשֶׂר — מְחַנְּכִין אוֹתָן לְשָׁעוֹת, בֶּן אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה — מַשְׁלִימִין מִדְּרַבָּנַן, בֶּן שְׁלֹשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה — מַשְׁלִימִין מִדְּאוֹרָיְיתָא בְּתִינוֹק. וְרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר: הַשְׁלָמָה דְּרַבָּנַן לֵיכָּא. בֶּן עֶשֶׂר בֶּן אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה — מְחַנְּכִין אוֹתוֹ לְשָׁעוֹת, בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה — מַשְׁלִימִין מִדְּאוֹרָיְיתָא. תְּנַן: הַתִּינוֹקוֹת אֵין מְעַנִּין אוֹתָן בַּיּוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים, אֲבָל מְחַנְּכִין אוֹתָן לִפְנֵי שָׁנָה וְלִפְנֵי שְׁתַּיִם. בִּשְׁלָמָא לְרַב הוּנָא וְרַב נַחְמָן — לִפְנֵי שָׁנָה וְלִפְנֵי שְׁתַּיִם. לִפְנֵי שָׁנָה — לְדִבְרֵיהֶן, וְלִפְנֵי שְׁתַּיִם — לְדִבְרֵיהֶן.

Yoma 82a:1-4

MISHNA: With regard to the children, one does not afflict them by withholding food on Yom Kippur; however, one trains them one year before or two years before they reach majority, by means of a partial fast lasting several hours, so that they will be accustomed to fulfill mitzvot. GEMARA: The Gemara asks about the wording of the mishna: Since it is stated that one trains children two years before their maturity, is it necessary to say that one trains them one year before? This expression in the mishna is superfluous. Rav Ḥisda said: This is not difficult. This statement that one trains children one year before their maturity is referring to a feeble child; that statement that one trains children two years before their maturity is referring to a healthy child. Rav Huna said: One trains a healthy child of eight years and nine years to fast for several hours; at ten years and eleven years, they complete the fast by rabbinic law; at twelve years they complete the fast by Torah law. This applies to girls who reach maturity and become obligated in mitzvot at age twelve. And Rav Naḥman said: At nine years and ten years one trains them to fast for several hours; at eleven and twelve years they complete the fast by rabbinic law; at thirteen years they complete the fast by Torah law. This applies to boys. And Rabbi Yoḥanan said: There is no obligation with regard to children completing the fast by rabbinic law. Rather, at ten and eleven years, one trains them to fast for several hours; and at twelve years girls are obligated to complete their fast by Torah law. § We learned in the mishna: With regard to the children, one does not afflict them by withholding food on Yom Kippur; however, one trains them for one year before or two years before they reach maturity. Granted, this makes sense according to the opinion of Rav Huna and Rav Naḥman, who hold that for one or two years before reaching maturity there is a rabbinic law requiring children to complete the fast. The mishna that states one year before or two years before should be understood as follows: A feeble child is obligated to complete the fast on Yom Kippur in the year before reaching maturity by rabbinic law, and a healthy child is obligated to complete the fast on Yom Kippur in the two years before reaching maturity by rabbinic law (Vilna Gaon).

ספר הזהר, וישלח א׳

(ד) וְאֵימָתַי אָתֵי בַּר נָשׁ לְאִתְדַּכָּאָה כַּד אִיהוּ בַּר תְּלֵיסַר שְׁנִין, כְּדֵין אִזְדַּוַּוג בַּר נָשׁ בְּתַרְוַויְיהוּ חַד מִימִינָא וְחַד מִשְּׂמָאלָא, יֵצֶר טוֹב לִימִינָא וְיֵצֶר רַע לִשְׂמָאלָא. וְאִלֵּין אִינוּן תְּרֵין מַלְאָכִין מַמָּשׁ מְמַנָּן, וְאִינוּן מִשְׁתַּכְּחִין תָּדִיר בַּהֲדֵיהּ דְּבַר נָשׁ.

Zohar, Vayishlach 1

(4) 4. And when does man seek purity? On his thirteenth birthday, man joins with the Good Inclination on the right and the Evil Inclination on the left. They are literally two appointed angels found constantly with man.

בראשית רבה ס״ג:י׳

(י) וַיִּגְדְּלוּ הַנְּעָרִים (בראשית כה, כז), רַבִּי לֵוִי אָמַר מָשָׁל לַהֲדַס וְעִצְבוֹנִית שֶׁהָיוּ גְּדֵלִים זֶה עַל גַּבֵּי זֶה, וְכֵיוָן שֶׁהִגְדִּילוּ וְהִפְרִיחוּ זֶה נוֹתֵן רֵיחוֹ וְזֶה חוֹחוֹ, כָּךְ כָּל י"ג שָׁנָה שְׁנֵיהֶם הוֹלְכִים לְבֵית הַסֵּפֶר וּשְׁנֵיהֶם בָּאִים מִבֵּית הַסֵּפֶר, לְאַחַר י"ג שָׁנָה זֶה הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ לְבָתֵּי מִדְרָשׁוֹת וְזֶה הָיָה הוֹלֵךְ לְבָתֵּי עֲבוֹדַת כּוֹכָבִים. אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר צָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִטָּפֵל בִּבְנוֹ עַד י"ג שָׁנָה, מִיכָּן וָאֵילָךְ צָרִיךְ שֶׁיֹּאמַר בָּרוּךְ שֶׁפְּטָרַנִּי מֵעָנְשׁוֹ שֶׁל זֶה.

Bereshit Rabbah 63:10

(10) ..."...And the youths grew up" (Bereishit 25:27). Rabbi Levi made an analogy to a myrtle and wild rosebush which grew next to each other; when they had grown, one gave forth scent and the other thorns. So too with these, for thirteen years they both went to school (beit hasefer) and came back from school, but after thirteen years this one went to study-houses (batei midrashot) and this one went to idolatrous temples (batei avodat kochavim). Rabbi Elazar said, until thirteen years a person needs to take care of their children - from this age onwards, they need to say "Blessed is the one who has exempted me from the punishment of this one."

קידושין כ״ט א:י׳

תְּנֵינָא לְהָא דְּתָנוּ רַבָּנַן הָאָב חַיָּיב בִּבְנוֹ לְמוּלוֹ וְלִפְדוֹתוֹ וּלְלַמְּדוֹ תּוֹרָה וּלְהַשִּׂיאוֹ אִשָּׁה וּלְלַמְּדוֹ אוּמָּנוּת וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים אַף לַהֲשִׁיטוֹ בַּמַּיִם רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר כֹּל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְלַמֵּד אֶת בְּנוֹ אוּמָּנוּת מְלַמְּדוֹ לִיסְטוּת לִיסְטוּת סָלְקָא דַּעְתָּךְ אֶלָּא כְּאִילּוּ מְלַמְּדוֹ לִיסְטוּת

Kiddushin 29a:10

The Gemara comments: According to this interpretation, we learn in this mishna that which the Sages taught in a baraita: A father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to marry him to a woman, and to teach him a trade. And some say: A father is also obligated to teach his son to swim. Rabbi Yehuda says: Any father who does not teach his son a trade teaches him banditry [listut]. The Gemara expresses surprise at this statement: Can it enter your mind that he actually teaches him banditry? Rather, the baraita means that it is as though he teaches him banditry. Since the son has no profession with which to support himself, he is likely to turn to theft for a livelihood. This baraita accords with Rav Yehuda’s interpretation of the mishna.

סנהדרין ס״ח ב:א׳-ב׳

מתני׳ בן סורר ומורה מאימתי נעשה בן סורר ומורה משיביא שתי שערות ועד שיקיף זקן התחתון ולא העליון אלא שדברו חכמים בלשון נקיה שנאמר (דברים כא, יח) כי יהיה לאיש בן בן ולא בת בן ולא איש קטן פטור שלא בא לכלל מצות:

Sanhedrin 68b:1-2

MISHNA: The Torah describes the punishment given to a son who steals money from his parents to eat a gluttonous meal of meat and wine in the company of lowly men. If his parents bring him to court for this act, he is exhorted to desist and is punished with lashes. If he repeats the same misdeed and is again brought to court by his parents within the same three-month period, he is considered a stubborn and rebellious son [ben sorer umoreh]. He is liable to receive the death penalty, which in this case is execution by stoning. From when does a stubborn and rebellious son become liable to receive the death penalty imposed upon a stubborn and rebellious son? From when he grows two pubic hairs, which are a sign of puberty and from which time he is considered an adult, until he has grown a beard around. The reference here is to the lower beard surrounding his genitals, and not the upper beard, i.e., his facial hair, but the Sages spoke in euphemistic terms. As it is stated: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son” (Deuteronomy 21:18), which indicates that the penalty for rebelliousness is imposed upon a son, but not upon a daughter; and upon a son, but not upon a fully grown man. A minor under the age of thirteen is exempt from the penalty imposed upon a stubborn and rebellious son, because he has not yet reached the age of inclusion in mitzvot.

משנה ברורה רכ״ה:ו׳

(ו) (ו) בר מצוה - היינו כשנעשה בן י"ג ויום אחד ועכשיו נהגו שלא לברך עד שעה שהנער מתפלל בצבור בתורת ש"ץ או שהוא קורא בתורה בשבת ראשונה שאז נודע לרבים שהוא בר מצוה.

מצוה על האדם לעשות סעודה ביום שנעשה בנו בר מצוה כיום שנכנס לחופה והיינו ביום שנכנס לשנת י"ד וטעם הסעודה משום דעכשיו נעשה איש ישראל שנצטוה במצות התורה. ואם הנער דורש הוי סעודת מצוה אפילו אינו באותו יום:

Mishnah Berurah 225:6

Bar mitzvah - that is, when he turns 13 and 1 day. It has become the custom not to say the blessing (of barukh shepetarani) until the lad prays with the congregation as its leader or reads from the Torah for the first time on Shabbat, thus making it known that he is bar mitzvah.

It is a mitzvah to make a festive meal on the day when one's son becomes bar mitzvah, just like the day when he enters the chupah....And the reason for the festive meal is that now he has become a man in Israel, commanded in the Torah's commandments....