(ב) אָנֹכִ֣י הֹלֵ֔ךְ בְּדֶ֖רֶךְ כׇּל־הָאָ֑רֶץ וְחָזַקְתָּ֖ וְהָיִ֥יתָֽ לְאִֽישׁ׃
(2) “I am going the way of all the earth; be strong and show yourself a man.
(ג) וְשָׁמַרְתָּ֞ אֶת־מִשְׁמֶ֣רֶת ׀ יהוה אֱלֹהֶ֗יךָ לָלֶ֤כֶת בִּדְרָכָיו֙ לִשְׁמֹ֨ר חֻקֹּתָ֤יו מִצְוֺתָיו֙ וּמִשְׁפָּטָ֣יו וְעֵדְוֺתָ֔יו כַּכָּת֖וּב בְּתוֹרַ֣ת מֹשֶׁ֑ה לְמַ֣עַן תַּשְׂכִּ֗יל אֵ֚ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר תַּעֲשֶׂ֔ה וְאֵ֛ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֥ר תִּפְנֶ֖ה שָֽׁם׃
(3) Keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in His ways and following His laws, His commandments, His rules, and His admonitions as recorded in the Teaching of Moses, in order that you may succeed in whatever you undertake and wherever you turn.
The overarching message that David HaMelech imparts to Shlomo HaMelech is not to remain mired in the past. Shlomo HaMelech will face new challenges and he must adjust and not simply (to use sports terminology) run “plays” from his father’s “playbook.” He will have to “be a man,” as David HaMelech instructs him (Melachim I 2:2), and chart new paths to confront the brave new world that he will face.
This week haftarah begins with King David preparing to hand the crown to his son Shelomo.
Why this is interesting however, is because throughout the recorded writings about David, we rarely read about how he actually interacts with his children.
Therefore, this is a rare occasion for parents. Who better to learn from then the most beloved King of Israel. In this reading we have the opportunity to gain divine insight which if we choose to allow, can enable us to also prepare and assist in our child/children's transition.
In our modern times many questions arise, among them; How should parents instruct their children when it comes to transitioning? Whether the transition be going from one grade to the next, moving to a new city, or entering adulthood. We as parents want to help our children as much as possible.
Here are five ways we've found that encourage a positive transition to adulthood:
- (1)Know your child's capabilities.
- (2)Stop rescuing and foster independence
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- (3)Encourage self-advocacy .
- (4)Money management skills.
- (5)Own your part in their failure to launch
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My wife and I find ourselves indebted to this weeks reading many years ago. How so? The verses sited above King David actually spearheads these five ways.
On the surface years ago we like many others did not see it. However, after years of study, personal trial and error and Rabbinical guidance; we were able to go behind the scenes and understand that David is actually laying the foundation for his children (Shelomo). What David his father has done for him thus far is nothing short of helpful however at this point of the reading David realizes that he cannot do the job for him. The verse tells us for as it says "I'm am going to way of all the earth".
At this moment David the King of Israel provides his son with choices, practical wisdom and education.
David, is obviously conscious of his own mishaps and, parental failures, none the less has confidence that his son will succeed.
As parents we share this common goal. The goal is the desire to raise self-sufficient, productive children who will positively contribute to society. For me and my wife this has definitely been high priority on our parenting list for all of our children. As each one approaches that time when they must leave the nest, we feel a bittersweet pang of victory.
Shabbat Shalom & Happy Parenting