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להרגיש את הפחד
(כט) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃
(29) Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human,-d and have prevailed.”
(ז) וַיָּשֻׁ֙בוּ֙ הַמַּלְאָכִ֔ים אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב לֵאמֹ֑ר בָּ֤אנוּ אֶל־אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו וְגַם֙ הֹלֵ֣ךְ לִקְרָֽאתְךָ֔ וְאַרְבַּע־מֵא֥וֹת אִ֖ישׁ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (ח) וַיִּירָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב מְאֹ֖ד וַיֵּ֣צֶר ל֑וֹ וַיַּ֜חַץ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם אֲשֶׁר־אִתּ֗וֹ וְאֶת־הַצֹּ֧אן וְאֶת־הַבָּקָ֛ר וְהַגְּמַלִּ֖ים לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃
(7) The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.” (8) Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps,

(ב) והיה המחנה הנשאר לפליטה. עַל כָּרְחוֹ, כִּי אֶלָּחֵם עִמּוֹ. הִתְקִין עַצְמוֹ לִשְׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים, לְדוֹרוֹן, לִתְפִלָּה וּלְמִלְחָמָה. לְדוֹרוֹן, וַתַּעֲבֹר הַמִּנְחָה עַל פָּנָיו; לִתְפִלָּה, אֱלֹהֵי אָבִי אַבְרָהָם; לְמִלְחָמָה, וְהָיָה הַמַּחֲנֶה הַנִּשְׁאָר לִפְלֵיטָה:

(2) והיה המחנה הנשאר לפליטה THEN THE REMAINING CAMP MAY ESCAPE in spite of him, for I will fight against him He prepared himself for three things: to give him a present — as it states (Genesis 32:22) “So, the present passed before him”; for prayer — as it states (Genesis 32:10), “And he said, ‘O God of my father Abraham”; for war — as it states in this verse, “then the remaining camp may escape”, for I will fight against him (Tanchuma Yashan 1:8:6).

(יב) הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א מִיַּ֥ד אָחִ֖י מִיַּ֣ד עֵשָׂ֑ו כִּֽי־יָרֵ֤א אָנֹכִי֙ אֹת֔וֹ פֶּן־יָב֣וֹא וְהִכַּ֔נִי אֵ֖ם עַל־בָּנִֽים׃
(12) Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike.
Despite his preparations, he remains anxious

(כה) וַיִּוָּתֵ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַיֵּאָבֵ֥ק אִישׁ֙ עִמּ֔וֹ עַ֖ד עֲל֥וֹת הַשָּֽׁחַר׃

(25) Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.
(ה) וַיָּ֤שַׂר אֶל־מַלְאָךְ֙ וַיֻּכָ֔ל בָּכָ֖ה וַיִּתְחַנֶּן־ל֑וֹ בֵּֽית־אֵל֙ יִמְצָאֶ֔נּוּ וְשָׁ֖ם יְדַבֵּ֥ר עִמָּֽנוּ׃
(5) He strove with an angel and prevailed—
The other had to weep and implore him.
At Bethel [Jacob] would meet him,
There to commune with him.

(לא) וַיִּקְרָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב שֵׁ֥ם הַמָּק֖וֹם פְּנִיאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־רָאִ֤יתִי אֱלֹהִים֙ פָּנִ֣ים אֶל־פָּנִ֔ים וַתִּנָּצֵ֖ל נַפְשִֽׁי׃

(31) So Jacob named the place Peniel, meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.”

(ג) רַבִּי חָמָא בְּרַבִּי חֲנִינָא אָמַר שָׂרוֹ שֶׁל עֵשָׂו הָיָה, הוּא דַּהֲוָה אָמַר לֵיהּ (בראשית לג, י): כִּי עַל כֵּן רָאִיתִי פָנֶיךָ כִּרְאֹת פְּנֵי אֱלֹהִים וַתִּרְצֵנִי, מָשָׁל לְאַתְּלֵיטוֹס שֶׁהוּא עוֹמֵד וּמִתְגּוֹשֵׁשׁ עִם בְּנוֹ שֶׁל מֶלֶךְ, תָּלָה עֵינָיו וְרָאָה אֶת הַמֶּלֶךְ עוֹמֵד עַל גַּבָּיו וְהִרְפִּישׁ עַצְמוֹ לְפָנָיו, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (בראשית לב, כו): וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ, אָמַר רַבִּי לֵוִי וַיַּרְא בַּשְּׁכִינָה כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים מִי נָצַח אִם מַלְאָךְ אִם יַעֲקֹב, וּמִן מַה דִּכְתִיב (בראשית לב, כה): וַיֵּאָבֵק אִישׁ עִמּוֹ, הֱוֵי מִי נִתְמַלֵּא אָבָק הָאִישׁ שֶׁעִמּוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בַּר יִצְחָק אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, הוּא בָּא אֵלֶיךָ וַחֲמִשָּׁה קְמֵיעִין בְּיָדוֹ, זְכוּתוֹ, וּזְכוּת אָבִיו, זְכוּת אִמּוֹ, וּזְכוּת זְקֵנוֹ, וּזְכוּת זְקֶנְתּוֹ. מְדֹד עַצְמְךָ אִם אַתָּה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד אֲפִלּוּ בִּזְכוּתוֹ, מִיָּד, וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ. מָשָׁל לְמֶלֶךְ שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ כֶּלֶב אַגְרִיּוֹן וַאֲרִי נֵמִירוֹן, וְהָיָה הַמֶּלֶךְ נוֹטֵל אֶת בְּנוֹ וּמְלַבְּבוֹ בָּאֲרִי, שֶׁאִם יָבוֹא הַכֶּלֶב לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לוֹ יֹאמַר לוֹ הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲרִי לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ וְאַתָּה מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לוֹ. כָּךְ שֶׁאִם יָבוֹאוּ אֻמּוֹת הָעוֹלָם לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, יֹאמַר לָהֶם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא שַׂרְכֶם לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ וְאַתֶּם מְבַקְּשִׁים לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לְבָנָיו. (בראשית לב, כו): וַיִּגַּע בְּכַף יְרֵכוֹ, נָגַע בַּצַּדִּיקִים וּבַצַּדִּיקוֹת בַּנְּבִיאִים וּבַנְּבִיאוֹת שֶׁהֵן עֲתִידִין לַעֲמֹד מִמֶּנּוּ, וְאֵיזֶה זֶה, זֶה דוֹרוֹ שֶׁל שְׁמַד. (בראשית לב, כו): וַתֵּקַע כַּף יֶרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב, רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה וְרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר, רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אָמַר שְׁעָיָא, רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי אַסֵּי אָמַר סִידְקָהּ כְּדָג. רַב נַחְמָן בַּר יַעֲקֹב אָמַר פֵּרְשָׁהּ מִמְּקוֹמָהּ, כְּדִכְתִיב (יחזקאל כג, יח): וַתֵּקַע נַפְשִׁי וגו' כַּאֲשֶׁר נָקְעָה נַפְשִׁי, אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בַּר יִצְחָק כָּל אוֹתוֹ הַלַּיְלָה הָיוּ שְׁנֵיהֶן פּוֹגְעִין זֶה בָּזֶה, מָגִינֵיהּ דְּדֵין לָקֳבֵל מָגִינֵיהּ דְּדֵין, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָלָה עַמּוּד הַשַּׁחַר (בראשית לב, כז): וַיֹּאמֶר שַׁלְחֵנִי כִּי עָלָה הַשָּׁחַר.

(3) Rabbi Chama bar Chanina said, "He was the ministering angel of Esav. And that is [what he meant] when he said to him, 'For this have I seen your face as I saw the face of God and you have accepted me' (Genesis 33:10). There is a parable about an athlete that got up and wrestled with the son of the king. He lifted his eyes and he saw that the king was standing behind him and [so] he fell to the ground in front of [the son]. This is what [is meant by that which] is written, 'and he saw that he could not overcome him.'" Rabbi Levi said, "'And he saw' the Divine Presence 'and he could not overcome him.'" Said Rabbi Berachia, "We do not know who won, whether it was the angel or whether it was Yakov. And from that which it is written, 'and a man wrestled (vayitabek, the root of which contains the letters that spell dust) with him,' prove who was covered in dust - the man that was with him.' Said Rabbi Chananya bar Yitschak, "The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, 'He is coming against you and he has five charms in his hand: his merit, the merit of his father, the merit of his mother, the merit of his grandfather, and the merit of his grandmother - measure yourself [and see] if you can stand even against his merit.' Immediately, 'And he saw and he could not overcome him.' There is a parable of a king that had a wild dog and a tamed lion. And the king took his son and endeared him to the lion, [such that] if the dog would take him on, the king would say to him, 'The lion was not able to stand in front of him and you want to take him on?' So [too], if the nations of the world will come to take on Israel, the Holy One, blessed be He, will say to them, 'Your ministering angel was not able to stand in front of him and you want to take on his children?'" "And he touched the hollow of his thigh" - he touched the righteous men and women, the prophets and prophetesses, which were to arise from him in the future. And which is this? The generation of persecution (shemad). "And he touched the hollow of Yakov's thigh" - Rabbi Berachia and Rabbi Eliezer [disagreed about this]: Rabbi Eliezer said, "He pressed it down." Rabbi Berachia said in the name of Rabbi Assi, "He split it like a fish." Rabbi Nachman bar Yakov said, "He separated it from its place, as it is written (Ezekiel 23:18), 'and my soul was separated etc... like my soul was separated' [in which the context shows that the verb for touching also means separating]." Said Rabbi Chanina bar Yitschak, "That whole night both of them were striking each other, the shield of this one across from the shield of that one. Once the sun rose, 'And he said, send me away from here as the sun has risen.'

(א) אלה תולדות יעקב - ישכילו ויבינו אוהבי שכל מה שלימדונו רבותינו, כי אין מקרא יוצא מידי פשוטו. אף כי עיקרה של תורה באה ללמדנו ולהודיענו ברמיזת הפשט וההגדות וההלכות והדינין ועל ידי אריכות הלשון ועל ידי שלושים ושתים מידות של ר' אליעזר בנו של ר' יוסי הגלילי וע"י שלש עשרה מידות של ר' ישמעאל והראשונים מתוך חסידותם נתעסקו לנטות אחרי הדרשות שהן עיקר ומתוך כך לא הורגלו בעומק פשוטו של מקרא. ולפי שאמרו חכמים: אל תרבו בניכם בהגיון. וגם אמרו: העוסק במקרא מדה ואינה מדה, העוסק בתלמוד אין לך מדה גדולה מזו ומתוך כך לא הורגלו כל כך בפשוטן של מקראות וכדאמרינן במסכת שבת: הוינא בר תמני סרי שנין וגרסינן כולה תלמודא ולא הוה ידענא דאין מקרא יוצא מידי פשוטו. וגם רבינו שלמה אבי אמי מאיר עיני גולה שפירש תורה נביאים וכתובים, נתן לב לפרש פשוטו של מקרא. ואף אני שמואל ב"ר מאיר חתנו זצ"ל נתווכחתי עמו ולפניו והודה לי שאילו היה לו פנאי, היה צריך לעשות פירושים אחרים לפי הפשטות המתחדשים בכל יום. ועתה יראו המשכילים מה שפירשו הראשונים.

(1) אלה תולדות יעקב, intelligent people must remember that our sages taught us that in spite of all different methods of exegesis of the text of the written Torah, no verse may legitimately be explained in a manner which contradicts the plain meaning of the text. While it is true that the Torah, by means of allusions, grammatical anomalies, tone-signs, etc., teaches us far more than meets the eye when we look at the bald text, there are strict limitations even to these methods of exegesis such as the thirteen principles of Rabbi Yishmael and the 32 principles of Rabbi Yossi Haglili. Exegetes of former times, thanks to their piety, relied exclusively on the drashot i.e. allegorical and ethical interpretations of anomalies in the text of the Torah, thereby neglecting a thorough study of the text as it presents itself to the average, though not scholarly, reader. Seeing that our sages stated אל תרבו בניכם בהגיון, “do not burden your children overly with interpretation based on logic, on common sense,” and they also saidהעוסק במקרא מדה ואינו מדה, העוסק בתלמוד אין לך מדה גדולה מזו, “he who studies the written text of the Torah has accomplished something positive but has also failed to accomplish something positive, but on the other hand, he who has studied Talmud has chosen by far the best path in Torah study,” (freely translated), the result of such statements has been that students have not become used to studying the plain meaning of the text without immediately looking at exegesis. (Baba Metzia 33 and a source supposedly in Berachot 28, the correct text being מנעו בניכם מן ההגיון, prevent your children from indulging in speculative reason,” but this does not seem to have any connection with Torah exegesis in the context where the statement is made. Ed.] This principle has been illustrated in Shabbat 63; we read there in the name of Rav Kahane “I was already eighteen years old and had studied the entire Talmud, but had not ever been taught of the principle that אין מקרא יוצא מידי פשוטו, “that the text in the written Torah must not be interpreted in a manner which completely nullifies its plain meaning.” Also Rabbi Shlomoh, my mother’s father of blessed memory (Rashi) the brilliant exegete, who wrote commentaries on the entire Bible, was careful not to ignore the plain meaning of the text. I, Shmuel, son of Rabbi Meir, Rashi’s son-in-law, have argued with him, and he admitted to me that if he had the opportunity, he would compose an additional commentary in which he would concentrate on the plain meaning as it became clearer to him with each passing day.

Introduced to a concept of how the pshat can use what is called a 'type scene' a stylized episode that happens more than once in tanakh סצנת דפוס

(א) כ.... ומה שלקה יעקב ונצלע, לפי שהקב"ה הבטיחו והוא היה בורח. וכן מצינו בכל ההולכים בדרך שלא ברצון הקב"ה, או ממאנים ללכת שנענשו. במשה ... שהיה מתעצל ללכת כתיב: ויהי בדרך במלון ויפגשהו ה' ויבקש המיתו. וכן ביונה שנבלע במעי הדגה. וכן בבלעם ויחר אף אלהים כי הולך הוא ונעשה חיגר, כדכתיב: ותלחץ רגל בלעם.

(1)...As to the fact that in spite of his victory, Yaakov was injured in that struggle, this was a punishment for his attempt to flee, in spite of his having been assured by G’d that He would help and protect him. We find other examples of great people who pursue a path that does not conform with G’d’s will that as a result they experience punishment for ignoring G’d’s will. ...Moses was almost killed for having been remiss in not circumcising his son Eliezer before setting out on his journey. Jonah, too was punished for trying to circumvent the will of G’d and spent three most uncomfortable days inside one or more fish. Similarly, G’d’s anger resulted in Bileam being harmed by his ass when contravening G’d’s will and setting out on his way to curse the Jewish people (Numbers 22,22 indicates that he walked with a pronounced limp, presumably due to having his leg squeezed against the wall by his ass as per Numbers 22,25.

(יא) קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֙רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃
(11) I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
(ה) וָאֹמַ֞ר אֽוֹי־לִ֣י כִֽי־נִדְמֵ֗יתִי כִּ֣י אִ֤ישׁ טְמֵֽא־שְׂפָתַ֙יִם֙ אָנֹ֔כִי וּבְתוֹךְ֙ עַם־טְמֵ֣א שְׂפָתַ֔יִם אָנֹכִ֖י יוֹשֵׁ֑ב כִּ֗י אֶת־הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ יְהֹוָ֥ה צְבָא֖וֹת רָא֥וּ עֵינָֽי׃
(5) I cried,
“Woe is me; I am lost!
For I am a man of unclean lips-b
And I live among a people
Of unclean lips;
Yet my own eyes have beheld
The King LORD of Hosts.”
(ו) וָאֹמַ֗ר אֲהָהּ֙ אֲדֹנָ֣י יֱהֹוִ֔ה הִנֵּ֥ה לֹֽא־יָדַ֖עְתִּי דַּבֵּ֑ר כִּי־נַ֖עַר אָנֹֽכִי׃ {ס}
(6) I replied:
Ah, Lord GOD!
I don’t know how to speak,
For I am still a boy.
Marianne Williamson A Return to Love
Maybe this is why some run away from Judaism itself. Feeling of unworthiness. Not that it is untrue sometimes, but it is irrelevant.
Leaders grow by leading, writers grow by writing, teachers grow by teaching.
(כט) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃

(29) Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human,-d and have prevailed.”