1. What are your initial takeaways from this aggadah?
2. What do you think is the mashmaut, the meaning, of this text? What is the lesson it is trying to teach?
3. Ultimately, how does this approach to Torah (if we take it seriously) shape our discourse?
(א) אַל תָּדִין אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ (אבות פ"ב):
(ב) זֶהוּ מַה שֶּׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה: הֱוֵי דָּן אֶת כָּל אָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת (שם פ"א). כִּי כְּשֶׁיֵּשׁ מַחֲלֹקֶת עַל אָדָם, צָרִיךְ לַחֲקֹר לִמְצֹא זְכוּת בַּחֲבֵרוֹ בַּמֶּה שֶׁחוֹלֵק עָלָיו, כְּדֵי לְדוּנוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת.
(ג) כִּי הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת לֹא יִמָנַע מִשְּׁנֵי פָּנִים: אוֹ מֵחֲמַת שֶׁחֲבֵירוֹ גָּדוֹל מִמֶּנוּ בְּמַעֲלָה, וְעַל כֵּן חוֹלֵק עָלָיו עַל שֶׁלֹּא הִגִּיעַ לְמַדְרֵגָתוֹ. וַאֲזַי צָרִיךְ לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל שֶׁיַּגִּיעַ הוּא גַּם כֵּן לְמַדְרֵגַת חֲבֵרוֹ, בִּכְדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ שְׁנֵיהֶם שָׁוִים, וַאֲזַי לֹא יִהְיֶה מַחֲלֹקֶת.
(ד) אוֹ לִפְעָמִים לְהֵפֶךְ שֶׁהוּא גָּדוֹל מֵחֲבֵרוֹ, וְהַמַּחֲלֹקֶת מֵחֲמַת שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ מִתְקַנֵּא בּוֹ, עַל שֶׁלֹּא הִגִּיעַ לְמַדְרֵגָתוֹ. וְעַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ לְדוּנוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, וּבָזֶה הוּא מַעֲלֶה חֲבֵרוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, וְאָז הֵם בְּמָקוֹם אֶחָד הַיְנוּ בְּמַדְרֵגָה אַחַת, וַאֲזַי בְּוַדַּאי לֹא יִהְיֶה מַחֲלֹקֶת.
(ה) כִּי מַחֲלֹקֶת הוּא רַק מֵחֲמַת שֶׁהֵם מְשֻׁנִּים זֶה מִזֶּה, אוֹ שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ גָּדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ אוֹ שֶׁהוּא גָּדוֹל מֵחֲבֵרוֹ כַּנַּ"ל, אֲבָל אִם יִהְיוּ שְׁנֵיהֶם בְּמָקוֹם אֶחָד בְּמַדְרֵגָה אַחַת, בְּוַדַּאי לֹא יִהְיֶה מַחֲלֹקֶת, כִּי בְּדָבָר אֶחָד אֵין שַׁיָּךְ מַחֲלֹקֶת.
(ו) וְזֶהוּ: אַל תָּדוּן אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ,
(ז) הַיְנוּ שֶׁתִּשְׁתַּדֵּל שֶׁתִּהְיֶה עִמּוֹ בְּמָקוֹם אֶחָד, בְּמַדְרֵגָה אַחַת, מֵאֶחָד מִשְּׁנֵי פָּנִים הַנַּ"ל. וַאֲזַי בְּוַדַּאי לֹא יִהְיֶה מַחֲלֹקֶת, כִּי בְּדָבָר אֶחָד אֵין שַׁיָּךְ מַחֲלֹקֶת.
(ח) וּבָזֶה שֶׁמַּעֲלֶה אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, יוּכַל לִהְיוֹת שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ יַחֲזֹר בּוֹ וְלֹא יִהְיֶה שׁוּב מַחֲלֹקֶת, אוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ מַפָּלָה, כִּי יוּכַל לִהְיוֹת שֶׁגֶּחָלִים אַתָּה חוֹתֶה עַל ראֹשׁוֹ בָּזֶה שֶׁאַתָּה מַעֲלֵהוּ לְכַף זְכוּת.
(ט) וְזֶהוּ: הֱוֵי דָּן אֶת כָּל אָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת – דָּן דַּיְקָא, כִּי הוּא בְּחִינַת דִּין וּמִשְׁפָּט מַמָּשׁ. כִּי יָדוּעַ, שֶׁקֹּדֶם שֶׁעוֹלִין לְאֵיזֶה מַדְרֵגָה, דָּנִין אֶת הָאָדָם. וְעַל־כֵּן בָּזֶה שֶׁאַתָּה דָּן אוֹתוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, וְאַתָּה מַעֲלֵהוּ לְמַדְרֵגָה יוֹתֵר גָּבוֹהַּ, דָּנִין אוֹתוֹ, וּכְפִי שֶׁיֵּצֵא הַמִּשְׁפָּט כֵּן יָקוּם:
(1) Al Tadin et Chaveirekha (Do not judge your fellow) until you have reached his place. (Avot 2:4)
(2) This is as our Sages teach: Judge all men favorably (ibid. 1:6). When a person experiences opposition, he must search out some merit in his fellow—in this that [his fellow] opposes him—in order to judge him favorably.
(3) Strife cannot be avoided for one of two reasons: It could be that his fellow is more advanced than he and so [his fellow] opposes him because he has not attained his spiritual level; in which case he has to endeavor so that he, too, can achieve his fellow’s level, in order that they might be equals. As a result, there will be no strife.
(4) Or, sometimes, the reverse: he is more advanced than his fellow. There is strife because his fellow is jealous of him, over not having attained his spiritual level. It is therefore necessary to judge him favorably. By doing so, he elevates his fellow to the side of merit, and then they will both be in one place, on the same level. As a result, there will certainly be no strife.
(5) For the strife is only because each one is different than the other. Either his fellow is more advanced than he, or he is more advanced than his fellow, as mentioned. But, if they were both in one place, on the same level, there would certainly be no strife. For within a single entity, strife does not apply.
(6) This is the meaning of: Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place.
(7) In other words, you should endeavor to be with him in one place, on the same spiritual level, from either one of the two perspectives mentioned above. As a result, there will certainly be no strife. For within a single entity, strife does not apply.
(8) By elevating his fellow to the side of merit, it is possible that his fellow will relent and there will be no further strife. Or, he will experience a fall, for it is quite possible that “you are heaping coals of fire upon his head” (Proverbs 25:22) by your judging him favorably.
(9) This is the meaning of: “Judge all men favorably.” Specifically “judge,” because this is literally an aspect of judgment and justice. For it is known that before ascending to any spiritual level, a person is judged. Therefore, by your judging him favorably and elevating him to an even higher level, they judge him [in heaven]. And, according to the verdict, so will it be.
1. How does Rebbe Nachman understand the dynamics of Machloket?
2. Do you agree with his assessment?
3. How do we move this from theory to practice?
4. What barriers / challenges could you see standing in your way?
Materials: 1 Sheet of paper, writing utensil, feelings and needs lists: (https://www.nycnvc.org/feelings, https://www.nycnvc.org/needs)
Step 1.
At the top of your sheet of paper write down something that someone said to you that you DIDN'T like hearing. Try to think of the exact wording if possible. There is no need for story or context here. Just the quote.
Step 2.
Now, draw a T Shape under the quote. Label one side with the letter F, and on the other, the letter N.
Step 3.
On the left side (the F side), write down the feelings you're experiencing while seeing / hearing / remembering this quote. You can refer to the list of feelings above for help!
Step 4.
On the right side (the N side), write down what you need(ed) now (or in the moment) but are not (were not) receiving. You can refer to the needs list above for help!
Step 5.
Draw a second T shape at the bottom or on the other side of your sheet of paper. Again, label each side with an F and an N.
Step 6.
Try to imagine what the other individual was feeling when they said the quote you wrote down. Again, you can use the list of feelings provided if you need some help!
Step 7.
Now try to imagine what needs the other individual was not receiving when they said the quote you wrote down. You can use the needs list for this.
Step 8.
Before moving on, check to make sure that you are including EVERYTHING that is applicable in both T's.
Step 9.
Read carefully through both T's as many times as feels right to you.
Step 10.
Close your eyes and breathe for one minute. When you have completed the exercise, check in with yourself and see if you can identify any shifts in how you interact with your quote.
Close your eyes and play out your quote scenario in your mind. After you feel you can see the exchange as accurately as possible, answer the following questions.
1.) What is my responsibility to the other in this conversation?
2.) Am I meeting that responsibility?
3.) What is my responsibility to myself in this conversation?
4.) Am I meeting that responsibility?
5.) What kind of machloket are we experiencing (at least according to my read)?
6.) How do I need to adjust to address that inequality, or do I need to at all?
7.) With the adjustments made (if applicable), is this l'shem shamayim? If yes, why do I think so? If no, why do I think not?