Humility

This Shiur is based on the ideas learned in Rav David Sperling's Mussar class in Nishmat.

עֲקַבְיָא בֶן מַהֲלַלְאֵל אוֹמֵר, הִסְתַּכֵּל בִּשְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים וְאִי אַתָּה בָא לִידֵי עֲבֵרָה. דַּע מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן. מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, לִמְקוֹם עָפָר רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה. וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן, לִפְנֵי מֶלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא:

Pirkei Avot 3:1

Akabyah ben Mahalalel said: mark well three things and you will not come into the power of sin: Know from where you come, and where you are going, and before whom you are destined to give an account and reckoning. From where do you come? From a putrid drop. Where are you going? To a place of dust, of worm and of maggot. Before whom you are destined to give an account and reckoning? Before the King of the kings of kings, the Holy One, blessed be he.

This Mishnah is pretty radical and confusing. What does it mean that I come from a putrid egg (different translation), that I am going to a pile of dust? And how does knowing this keep me from sinning?

אגרת הרמב"ן ד׳

וּבַעֲבוּר הָעֲנָוָה, תַּעֲלֶה עַל לִבְּךָ מִדַּת הַיִּרְאָה, כִּי תִתֵּן אֶל לִבְּךָ תָּמִיד: מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאַן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ; וְשֶׁאַתָּה רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה בְּחַיֶּיךָ, וְאַף כִּי בְּמוֹתָךְ; וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן, לִפְנֵי מֶלֶךְ הַכָּבוֹד, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דה"ב ו יח): "הִנֵּה שָׁמַיִם וּשְׁמֵי הַשָׁמַיִם לֹא יְכַלְכְּלוּךָ", אַף כִּי לִבּוֹת בְּנֵי אָדָם (ע"פ משלי טו יא). וְנֶאֱמַר (ירמיהו כג כד): "הֲלֹא אֵת הַשָׁמַיִם וְאֵת הָאָרֶץ אֲנִי מָלֵא, נְאֻם יהוה".

Iggeret HaRamban 4

Through humility you will also come to fear God. It will cause you to always think about (Pirkei Avot 3:1) "where you came from and where you are going," and that while alive you are only like a maggot and a worm as after death, and before Whom you will eventually stand for judgment, the Glorious King, as it is written (I Kings 8:27) (Chronicles II 6:18) "Even the heaven and the heavens of heaven cannot contain You" -- "How much less the hearts of people!"(Mishlei 15:11), It is also written (Jeremiah 23:24), "Do I not fill heaven and earth? says the Lord."

Ramban explains that the Mishnah is about humility. By being humble, one will fear G-d, and therefore keep away from sin. And what is humility? The three ideas discussed in the Mishnah.

However, I personally would like to think that my relationship with G-d is not purely based on fear, and viewing myself as this insignificant spec of dust.

In order to understand what Ramban and the Mishnah are suggesting, I believe that we, humanity, need to change how we understand humility.

The above is a quote from one of my favorite childhood books, Specials, the third book in Scott Westerfeild's series, Uglies. (I know, I know, L'havdil. I don't think Ramban would be too happy with me using YA dystopian novel to understand his complex ideas of Mussar, but just go with me on this).

I don't think most people suffer from being selfish. Most people don't think they are better then everyone else, or that they are the most important. In fact, its probably the opposite. Most of the time we worry about being under qualified or not good enough. But as Shay says, most of us think that we are at the center of the universe.

We think that everyone is always thinking or talking or judging us. That anything we do has a direct and hugely consequential effect on the world around us, on the people we interact with, and any action by others is directly in connection with ourselves. And this makes sense - we can only view the world from our own perspective, our own sense of self, so by default we think that world revolves around us.

Humility is changing how we see ourselves in relation to the world and G-d. A quote I once heard put it simply, humility isn't think less of ourselves. It's thinking of ourselves less. Here's a demonstration of that:

Going back the Mishnah, we must understand that yes, we are simply worms and specs of dust, but only because of how vast the world is. To be humble, we must open our eyes and become more aware of how great and wide the universe is. And most importantly, that despite how many people there are and how big the world is, still, STILL, G-d, the King of Kings, wants to know your every step. How YOU, a tiny spec of dust, walked through His earth.

We expand our horizons by learning. The more you know, the more you know how much you don't know. It's scary, but it's humbling, and it allows us to act with care and understanding that no matter how small, each person, even yourself is significant.

The world does not revolve around you, but you certainly revolve around G-d.