Outline of Parashat Chayei Sarah
1) Sarah dies; Abraham negotiates to purchase a plot of land in whch to bury her
2) Abraham asks his servant to find a wife for Isaac
3) The servant meets a generous, beautiful woman named Rebecca, who agrees to marry Isaac
4) Rebecca and Isaac meet and wed; Rebecca moves into Sarah's tent
5) Abraham marres Keturah, and discussion of his decendants
6) Abraham dies. Isaac and Ishmael bury him together.
1) Sarah dies; Abraham negotiates to purchase a plot of land in whch to bury her
2) Abraham asks his servant to find a wife for Isaac
3) The servant meets a generous, beautiful woman named Rebecca, who agrees to marry Isaac
4) Rebecca and Isaac meet and wed; Rebecca moves into Sarah's tent
5) Abraham marres Keturah, and discussion of his decendants
6) Abraham dies. Isaac and Ishmael bury him together.
Rabbi Jennifer Gubitz, "M'nuchat HaNefesh--Equanimity: Calming the Soul And the Storms of Life" in Block, Rabbi Barry H. The Mussar Torah Commentary
In tracing Isaac’s life throughout Genesis—from the Akeidah to the moment when Rebekah “alights” from her camel, literally “falling” in love with him, until his dying breath at the end of Genesis 35— we wonder: how does Isaac endure a life that vacillates between joy and deep pain, comfort and trauma, loss and love? We might ask if and how he is able to maintain “equanimity” ((מְנוּחַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ, m’nuchat hanefesh) during his soul-stirring life journey? What can we moderns learn from his life as we face the highs and lows of being human? And what are the ways the Mussar value of equanimity can sustain us, as well?
Mussar scholars describe the middah of equanimity with various Hebrew terms: m’nuchat hanefesh (“calmness of the soul”), yishuv hada’at (יִשּׁוּב הַדַּעַת, “a settled mind”), or shalvah (שַׁלְוָה, “serenity”). It is a state of being through which a person can face any situation—from turmoil to tranquility—without being moved from the centered self. Like a surfer in the ocean, no matter the destabilizing waves splashing and smashing down around us, one with attuned equanimity is anchored by a stable inner core.
In tracing Isaac’s life throughout Genesis—from the Akeidah to the moment when Rebekah “alights” from her camel, literally “falling” in love with him, until his dying breath at the end of Genesis 35— we wonder: how does Isaac endure a life that vacillates between joy and deep pain, comfort and trauma, loss and love? We might ask if and how he is able to maintain “equanimity” ((מְנוּחַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ, m’nuchat hanefesh) during his soul-stirring life journey? What can we moderns learn from his life as we face the highs and lows of being human? And what are the ways the Mussar value of equanimity can sustain us, as well?
Mussar scholars describe the middah of equanimity with various Hebrew terms: m’nuchat hanefesh (“calmness of the soul”), yishuv hada’at (יִשּׁוּב הַדַּעַת, “a settled mind”), or shalvah (שַׁלְוָה, “serenity”). It is a state of being through which a person can face any situation—from turmoil to tranquility—without being moved from the centered self. Like a surfer in the ocean, no matter the destabilizing waves splashing and smashing down around us, one with attuned equanimity is anchored by a stable inner core.
Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness
Jewish sources use several terms to name the soul-trait of undisturbed equanimity, the most descriptive of which is menuchat hanafesh, calmness of the soul. The Mussar teachers see the importance of a calm soul, but they don't see that inner state as a final station called "Peace and Tranquility" where the journey ends, even as life continues. Instead, they view equanimity as an inner balance that coexists with a world and an experience that accepts turbulence and even turmoil, because that's just the way life is.
In the Jewish view, the goal of spiritual life is not to reach an enlightened state in which all the questions and conundrums of life are unknotted with finality, but rather to become much more skilled at the processes of living. This view applies fully to the soul-trait of equanimity, which does not spell the end of our struggles, rather is an inner quality we can cultivate to equip ourselves to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Jewish sources use several terms to name the soul-trait of undisturbed equanimity, the most descriptive of which is menuchat hanafesh, calmness of the soul. The Mussar teachers see the importance of a calm soul, but they don't see that inner state as a final station called "Peace and Tranquility" where the journey ends, even as life continues. Instead, they view equanimity as an inner balance that coexists with a world and an experience that accepts turbulence and even turmoil, because that's just the way life is.
In the Jewish view, the goal of spiritual life is not to reach an enlightened state in which all the questions and conundrums of life are unknotted with finality, but rather to become much more skilled at the processes of living. This view applies fully to the soul-trait of equanimity, which does not spell the end of our struggles, rather is an inner quality we can cultivate to equip ourselves to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Bertrand Russell, A Free Man’s Worship, p.33
"man’s greatest triumph . . . is to achieve stability and inner repose in a world of shifting threats and terrifying change.”
"man’s greatest triumph . . . is to achieve stability and inner repose in a world of shifting threats and terrifying change.”
Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, The Thirteen Petalled Rose, p. 132
The Jewish approach to life considers the person who has stopped going – one who has a feeling of completion, of peace, of a great light from above that has brought them to rest – to be someone who has lost their way. Only one whom the light continues to beckon, for whom the light is as distant as ever, only they can be considered to have received some sort of response.
The Jewish approach to life considers the person who has stopped going – one who has a feeling of completion, of peace, of a great light from above that has brought them to rest – to be someone who has lost their way. Only one whom the light continues to beckon, for whom the light is as distant as ever, only they can be considered to have received some sort of response.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter
As long as one lives a life of calmness and tranquility in the service of God, it is clear that he is remote from true service.
As long as one lives a life of calmness and tranquility in the service of God, it is clear that he is remote from true service.
Rabbi Jennifer Gubitz, "M'nuchat HaNefesh--Equanimity: Calming the Soul And the Storms of Life"
Rabbinic Sages teach that after the trauma of the Akeidah and then his mother Sarah’s death, Isaac took a long leave of absence from his family. In the Torah text, we hear about him, but we barely hear a word from him. Some commentators actually suggest this silence was a permanent and final departure—that the trauma was so painful that he died of fear. Others imagine he was blinded. Other commentaries envision that it was neither death nor illness, but rather that Isaac’s departure was a multifaceted journey of resilience and recovery. B’reishit Rabbah teaches that after the Akeidah, Isaac went to study in a beit midrash, a “house of learning.” Drowning his sorrows and his past in the books and traditions of our people, he immersed in a community of learners and seekers.
Rabbinic Sages teach that after the trauma of the Akeidah and then his mother Sarah’s death, Isaac took a long leave of absence from his family. In the Torah text, we hear about him, but we barely hear a word from him. Some commentators actually suggest this silence was a permanent and final departure—that the trauma was so painful that he died of fear. Others imagine he was blinded. Other commentaries envision that it was neither death nor illness, but rather that Isaac’s departure was a multifaceted journey of resilience and recovery. B’reishit Rabbah teaches that after the Akeidah, Isaac went to study in a beit midrash, a “house of learning.” Drowning his sorrows and his past in the books and traditions of our people, he immersed in a community of learners and seekers.
(ח) וַיֹּאמַ֗ר הָגָ֞ר שִׁפְחַ֥ת שָׂרַ֛י אֵֽי־מִזֶּ֥ה בָ֖את וְאָ֣נָה תֵלֵ֑כִי וַתֹּ֕אמֶר מִפְּנֵי֙ שָׂרַ֣י גְּבִרְתִּ֔י אָנֹכִ֖י בֹּרַֽחַת׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָהּ֙ מַלְאַ֣ךְ יְהֹוָ֔ה שׁ֖וּבִי אֶל־גְּבִרְתֵּ֑ךְ וְהִתְעַנִּ֖י תַּ֥חַת יָדֶֽיהָ׃ (י) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָהּ֙ מַלְאַ֣ךְ יְהֹוָ֔ה הַרְבָּ֥ה אַרְבֶּ֖ה אֶת־זַרְעֵ֑ךְ וְלֹ֥א יִסָּפֵ֖ר מֵרֹֽב׃ (יא) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָהּ֙ מַלְאַ֣ךְ יְהֹוָ֔ה הִנָּ֥ךְ הָרָ֖ה וְיֹלַ֣דְתְּ בֵּ֑ן וְקָרָ֤את שְׁמוֹ֙ יִשְׁמָעֵ֔אל כִּֽי־שָׁמַ֥ע יְהֹוָ֖ה אֶל־עׇנְיֵֽךְ׃ (יב) וְה֤וּא יִהְיֶה֙ פֶּ֣רֶא אָדָ֔ם יָד֣וֹ בַכֹּ֔ל וְיַ֥ד כֹּ֖ל בּ֑וֹ וְעַל־פְּנֵ֥י כׇל־אֶחָ֖יו יִשְׁכֹּֽן׃ (יג) וַתִּקְרָ֤א שֵׁם־יְהֹוָה֙ הַדֹּבֵ֣ר אֵלֶ֔יהָ אַתָּ֖ה אֵ֣ל רֳאִ֑י כִּ֣י אָֽמְרָ֗ה הֲגַ֥ם הֲלֹ֛ם רָאִ֖יתִי אַחֲרֵ֥י רֹאִֽי׃ (יד) עַל־כֵּן֙ קָרָ֣א לַבְּאֵ֔ר בְּאֵ֥ר לַחַ֖י רֹאִ֑י הִנֵּ֥ה בֵין־קָדֵ֖שׁ וּבֵ֥ין בָּֽרֶד׃ (טו) וַתֵּ֧לֶד הָגָ֛ר לְאַבְרָ֖ם בֵּ֑ן וַיִּקְרָ֨א אַבְרָ֧ם שֶׁם־בְּנ֛וֹ אֲשֶׁר־יָלְדָ֥ה הָגָ֖ר יִשְׁמָעֵֽאל׃
(8) and said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” And she said, “I am running away from my mistress Sarai.” (9) And the angel of the LORD said to her, “Go back to your mistress, and submit to her harsh treatment.” (10) And the angel of the LORD said to her,
“I will greatly increase your offspring,
And they shall be too many to count.” (11) The angel of the LORD said to her further,
“Behold, you are with child
And shall bear a son;
You shall call him Ishmael,
For the LORD has paid heed to your suffering. (12) He shall be a wild ass of a man;
His hand against everyone,
And everyone’s hand against him;
He shall dwell alongside of all his kinsmen.” (13) And she called the LORD who spoke to her, “You Are El-roi,” by which she meant, “Have I not gone on seeing after He saw me!”-d (14) Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it is between Kadesh and Bered.— (15) Hagar bore a son to Abram, and Abram gave the son that Hagar bore him the name Ishmael.
“I will greatly increase your offspring,
And they shall be too many to count.” (11) The angel of the LORD said to her further,
“Behold, you are with child
And shall bear a son;
You shall call him Ishmael,
For the LORD has paid heed to your suffering. (12) He shall be a wild ass of a man;
His hand against everyone,
And everyone’s hand against him;
He shall dwell alongside of all his kinsmen.” (13) And she called the LORD who spoke to her, “You Are El-roi,” by which she meant, “Have I not gone on seeing after He saw me!”-d (14) Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it is between Kadesh and Bered.— (15) Hagar bore a son to Abram, and Abram gave the son that Hagar bore him the name Ishmael.
(סב) וְיִצְחָק֙ בָּ֣א מִבּ֔וֹא בְּאֵ֥ר לַחַ֖י רֹאִ֑י וְה֥וּא יוֹשֵׁ֖ב בְּאֶ֥רֶץ הַנֶּֽגֶב׃ (סג) וַיֵּצֵ֥א יִצְחָ֛ק לָשׂ֥וּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶ֖ה לִפְנ֣וֹת עָ֑רֶב וַיִּשָּׂ֤א עֵינָיו֙ וַיַּ֔רְא וְהִנֵּ֥ה גְמַלִּ֖ים בָּאִֽים׃ (סד) וַתִּשָּׂ֤א רִבְקָה֙ אֶת־עֵינֶ֔יהָ וַתֵּ֖רֶא אֶת־יִצְחָ֑ק וַתִּפֹּ֖ל מֵעַ֥ל הַגָּמָֽל׃ (סה) וַתֹּ֣אמֶר אֶל־הָעֶ֗בֶד מִֽי־הָאִ֤ישׁ הַלָּזֶה֙ הַהֹלֵ֤ךְ בַּשָּׂדֶה֙ לִקְרָאתֵ֔נוּ וַיֹּ֥אמֶר הָעֶ֖בֶד ה֣וּא אֲדֹנִ֑י וַתִּקַּ֥ח הַצָּעִ֖יף וַתִּתְכָּֽס׃ (סו) וַיְסַפֵּ֥ר הָעֶ֖בֶד לְיִצְחָ֑ק אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשָֽׂה׃ (סז) וַיְבִאֶ֣הָ יִצְחָ֗ק הָאֹ֙הֱלָה֙ שָׂרָ֣ה אִמּ֔וֹ וַיִּקַּ֧ח אֶת־רִבְקָ֛ה וַתְּהִי־ל֥וֹ לְאִשָּׁ֖ה וַיֶּאֱהָבֶ֑הָ וַיִּנָּחֵ֥ם יִצְחָ֖ק אַחֲרֵ֥י אִמּֽוֹ׃ {פ}
(62) Isaac had just come back from the vicinity of Beer-lahai-roi, for he was settled in the region of the Negeb. (63) And Isaac went out walking in the field toward evening and, looking up, he saw camels approaching. (64) Raising her eyes, Rebekah saw Isaac. She alighted from the camel (65) and said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field toward us?” And the servant said, “That is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. (66) The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. (67) Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.
(ח) וַיִּגְוַ֨ע וַיָּ֧מׇת אַבְרָהָ֛ם בְּשֵׂיבָ֥ה טוֹבָ֖ה זָקֵ֣ן וְשָׂבֵ֑עַ וַיֵּאָ֖סֶף אֶל־עַמָּֽיו׃ (ט) וַיִּקְבְּר֨וּ אֹת֜וֹ יִצְחָ֤ק וְיִשְׁמָעֵאל֙ בָּנָ֔יו אֶל־מְעָרַ֖ת הַמַּכְפֵּלָ֑ה אֶל־שְׂדֵ֞ה עֶפְרֹ֤ן בֶּן־צֹ֙חַר֙ הַֽחִתִּ֔י אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־פְּנֵ֥י מַמְרֵֽא׃ (י) הַשָּׂדֶ֛ה אֲשֶׁר־קָנָ֥ה אַבְרָהָ֖ם מֵאֵ֣ת בְּנֵי־חֵ֑ת שָׁ֛מָּה קֻבַּ֥ר אַבְרָהָ֖ם וְשָׂרָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ׃ (יא) וַיְהִ֗י אַחֲרֵי֙ מ֣וֹת אַבְרָהָ֔ם וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ אֱלֹהִ֖ים אֶת־יִצְחָ֣ק בְּנ֑וֹ וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב יִצְחָ֔ק עִם־בְּאֵ֥ר לַחַ֖י רֹאִֽי׃ {פ}
(8) And Abraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and contented; and he was gathered to his kin. (9) His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, facing Mamre, (10) the field that Abraham had bought from the Hittites; there Abraham was buried, and Sarah his wife. (11) After the death of Abraham, God blessed his son Isaac. And Isaac settled near Beer-lahai-roi.
Rabbi Jennifer Gubitz, "M'nuchat HaNefesh--Equanimity: Calming the Soul And the Storms of Life"
Isaac’s development of equanimity does not smooth over his past experiences or lead him to a future without pain, trial, or suffering. Rather, it is the practice of the middah of equanimity as a constant journey and spiritual exercise that brings understanding and even peace. For Isaac, his return again and again to Be’er-lachai-ro’i may be imagined not just as a pilgrimage to a place where God can see him, but a journey to where he can see himself. In that place, he develops clarity as an inner witness to his life experience.
Isaac’s development of equanimity does not smooth over his past experiences or lead him to a future without pain, trial, or suffering. Rather, it is the practice of the middah of equanimity as a constant journey and spiritual exercise that brings understanding and even peace. For Isaac, his return again and again to Be’er-lachai-ro’i may be imagined not just as a pilgrimage to a place where God can see him, but a journey to where he can see himself. In that place, he develops clarity as an inner witness to his life experience.
Alan Morinis, https://www.aish.com/sp/pg/48909902.html
When you have a strong inner witness, outer influences are seen for what they are and that will help you keep from being infected by sentiments that swirl around you. That same inner faculty also keeps you from being pushed around by the forces that arise within you -- the distanced witness is not susceptible to the tides of doubt, temptation, jealousy, etc., that wash through the interior world.
Do we still face real struggles? Yes. Do the consequences matter? Yes. Do we still feel the full range of human emotions and drives? Yes. In other words, every aspect of your current life is real and important. You would be wise to embrace it because it's your curriculum. But cultivate the witness who will make you the master of the inner realm and not the victim.
When you have a strong inner witness, outer influences are seen for what they are and that will help you keep from being infected by sentiments that swirl around you. That same inner faculty also keeps you from being pushed around by the forces that arise within you -- the distanced witness is not susceptible to the tides of doubt, temptation, jealousy, etc., that wash through the interior world.
Do we still face real struggles? Yes. Do the consequences matter? Yes. Do we still feel the full range of human emotions and drives? Yes. In other words, every aspect of your current life is real and important. You would be wise to embrace it because it's your curriculum. But cultivate the witness who will make you the master of the inner realm and not the victim.
Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv
A person who has mastered peace of mind has gained everything. To obtain peace of mind, you need to be at peace with your emotions and desires.
A person who has mastered peace of mind has gained everything. To obtain peace of mind, you need to be at peace with your emotions and desires.
Rabbi Menachem Mendel Lefin, Cheshbon HaNefesh
Rise above events that are inconsequential - both bad and good for they are not worth disturbing your equanimity.
Rise above events that are inconsequential - both bad and good for they are not worth disturbing your equanimity.
Debra Cohn, https://reformjudaism.org/acceptance
I was working with the middah of menuchat hanefesh (equanimity). My chanting phrase for this middah was "Gam zu l'tovah!" meaning "This, too, is for the good"--the idea being to look for the good that can come out of any situation and refrain from adding "fuel to the fire." Well, a friend and I were driving to a spirituality workshop in another city on the topic of "surrender." We'd left plenty of time to get there, but the map we had was confusing and we drove around for twenty minutes looking for the right street. We even stopped to buy a local map, but soon found out that it was the wrong map, and my friend's unsuccessful attempt to get her telephone GPS system working only added to my frustration. I crumpled up the map in anger and threw it down, even as I knew this was a good opportunity for practicing menuchat hanefesh (equanimity). Except for crumpling the map, though, I wasn't doing too badly--I wasn't taking my frustration out on my friend. To distract myself and calm down I grabbed a book on Jews and spirituality. Opening it to the page where I had left off, I read that the spiritual path is "long and arduous, full of surprises, difficulties, and dangers."
That's when I had an epiphany. As a text-study and spiritual-practices junkie I knew all about the nature of the spiritual path. What I had missed was the understanding that THIS APPLIES TO ME! I am a human being subject to human nature, the human condition, and the laws of the universe! Somehow I had believed unconsciously that I was exempt from the difficulties and dangers of the spiritual path because I was a "good student" and worked hard to be a "good person." My learning and hard work had actually gotten in the way of my spiritual growth, leading me to the false notion that I would be spared from life's challenges. I was relieved to finally understand that learning and hard work are only tools for helping me accept and navigate life with as much humility and gratitude as possible.
I was working with the middah of menuchat hanefesh (equanimity). My chanting phrase for this middah was "Gam zu l'tovah!" meaning "This, too, is for the good"--the idea being to look for the good that can come out of any situation and refrain from adding "fuel to the fire." Well, a friend and I were driving to a spirituality workshop in another city on the topic of "surrender." We'd left plenty of time to get there, but the map we had was confusing and we drove around for twenty minutes looking for the right street. We even stopped to buy a local map, but soon found out that it was the wrong map, and my friend's unsuccessful attempt to get her telephone GPS system working only added to my frustration. I crumpled up the map in anger and threw it down, even as I knew this was a good opportunity for practicing menuchat hanefesh (equanimity). Except for crumpling the map, though, I wasn't doing too badly--I wasn't taking my frustration out on my friend. To distract myself and calm down I grabbed a book on Jews and spirituality. Opening it to the page where I had left off, I read that the spiritual path is "long and arduous, full of surprises, difficulties, and dangers."
That's when I had an epiphany. As a text-study and spiritual-practices junkie I knew all about the nature of the spiritual path. What I had missed was the understanding that THIS APPLIES TO ME! I am a human being subject to human nature, the human condition, and the laws of the universe! Somehow I had believed unconsciously that I was exempt from the difficulties and dangers of the spiritual path because I was a "good student" and worked hard to be a "good person." My learning and hard work had actually gotten in the way of my spiritual growth, leading me to the false notion that I would be spared from life's challenges. I was relieved to finally understand that learning and hard work are only tools for helping me accept and navigate life with as much humility and gratitude as possible.
Greg Marcus, The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions p182-183
"With two outs in the bottom of the 9th of the deciding game of the 2012 World Series, the count went to 2 strikes. My brain started racing: one more strike and the Giants are going to win…wow, that will be their second World Series…there will be another parade. I found myself getting more and more excited. Then I started to get anxious—if they lose today, they could go on and lose the whole World Series.
At the time, I was practicing equanimity. Out of the blue, I realized that the more my mind was racing off into the possible future, the less I was paying attention to the game. I made a conscious effort not to go down that road of becoming super excited. I took a deep breath, and was able to be calm and remain in the moment. When Sergio Romo, the Giants relief pitcher threw a fastball instead of a slider, and struck out Cabrerra, I was still super happy and excited. However, I did not have an overlay of super franticness. I was much calmer, and I remember the moment with a richness that I might not have if I had allowed my adrenaline free reign.
In the following month, I noticed that things that would have brought me down didn’t have the effect on me that I anticipated they would. By limiting my reactions to positive experiences, I strengthened my soul and made it resilient to the downs that came later. "
"With two outs in the bottom of the 9th of the deciding game of the 2012 World Series, the count went to 2 strikes. My brain started racing: one more strike and the Giants are going to win…wow, that will be their second World Series…there will be another parade. I found myself getting more and more excited. Then I started to get anxious—if they lose today, they could go on and lose the whole World Series.
At the time, I was practicing equanimity. Out of the blue, I realized that the more my mind was racing off into the possible future, the less I was paying attention to the game. I made a conscious effort not to go down that road of becoming super excited. I took a deep breath, and was able to be calm and remain in the moment. When Sergio Romo, the Giants relief pitcher threw a fastball instead of a slider, and struck out Cabrerra, I was still super happy and excited. However, I did not have an overlay of super franticness. I was much calmer, and I remember the moment with a richness that I might not have if I had allowed my adrenaline free reign.
In the following month, I noticed that things that would have brought me down didn’t have the effect on me that I anticipated they would. By limiting my reactions to positive experiences, I strengthened my soul and made it resilient to the downs that came later. "