Video discussion and sources below!
(לב) מִפְּנֵ֤י שֵׂיבָה֙ תָּק֔וּם וְהָדַרְתָּ֖ פְּנֵ֣י זָקֵ֑ן וְיָרֵ֥אתָ מֵּאֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ אֲנִ֥י ה'׃ {ס}
(32) You shall stand up for the aged and show respect to the old; you shall fear your God: I am the LORD.
(ז) זְכֹר֙ יְמ֣וֹת עוֹלָ֔ם בִּ֖ינוּ שְׁנ֣וֹת דֹּר־וָדֹ֑ר {ס} שְׁאַ֤ל אָבִ֙יךָ֙ וְיַגֵּ֔דְךָ זְקֵנֶ֖יךָ וְיֹ֥אמְרוּ לָֽךְ׃
(7) Remember the days of old, Consider the years of ages past; Ask your father, he will inform you, Your elders, they will tell you:
(4) So said the LORD of Hosts: There will yet be old men and women in the streets of Jerusalem, each holding a cane because they have lived so long.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
- Why do you think the Torah had to specifically command us to show respect for the old?
- What role do elders play in our modern day society?
- What role do elders play in Judaism?
- Are there any differences?
Ageism refers to the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself based on age.
Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the little old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.
By Shel Silverstein
From “A Light in the Attic”
(This was written during COVID19, when the elderly were at special risk.)
Earlier today, a friend posted on Facebook about an experience he’d just had on the Upper West Side of Manhattan: “I heard a guy who looked to be in his 20s say that it’s not a big deal cause the elderly are gonna die anyway. Then he and his friend laughed … Maybe I’m lucky that I had awesome grandparents and maybe this guy didn’t but what is wrong with people???” Some have tried to dress up their heartlessness as generational retribution. As someone tweeted at me earlier today, “To be perfectly honest, and this is awful, but to the young, watching as the elderly over and over and over choose their own interests ahead of Climate policy kind of feels like they’re wishing us to a death they won’t have to experience. It’s a sad bit of fair play.”
[...]
Notice how the all-too-familiar rhetoric of dehumanization works: “The elderly” are bunched together as a faceless mass, all of them considered culprits and thus effectively deserving of the suffering the pandemic will inflict upon them. Lost entirely is the fact that the elderly are individual human beings, each with a distinctive face and voice, each with hopes and dreams, memories and regrets, friendships and marriages, loves lost and loves sustained. But they deserve to die—and as for us, we can just go about our business.
[...]
What does it say about our society that people think of the elderly so dismissively—and moreover, that they feel no shame about expressing such thoughts publicly?
[...]
From a religious perspective, if there is one thing we ought to teach our children, it is that our worth as human beings does not depend on or derive from what we do or accomplish or produce; we are, each of us, infinitely valuable just because we are created in the image of God. We mattered before we were old enough to be economically productive, and we will go on mattering even after we cease to be economically productive.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
- Why are little children and the elderly often ignored?
- How did some people react to the elderly during coronavirus?
- Why did they react that way?
- Is someone's value based on how much they produce for the economy? How yes/ no?
- Would you say America is a youth-oriented culture or a culture that respects age, and how do you know?
What is considered "old" according to Torah law- what is 'aged' and 'old'?
(כא) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, בֶּן חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים לַמִּקְרָא, בֶּן עֶשֶׂר לַמִּשְׁנָה, בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַמִּצְוֹת, בֶּן חֲמֵשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַתַּלְמוּד, בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדֹּף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִּקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ, בֶּן מֵאָה כְּאִלּוּ מֵת וְעָבַר וּבָטֵל מִן הָעוֹלָם:
(21) He used to say:
A five year old learns Chumash.
A ten year old studies Mishna.
A thirteen year old is Bar Mitzvah.
A fifteen year old studies Talmud.
An eighteen year old goes to the Chuppah.
A twenty year old pursues a job.
A thirty year old is at the peak of strength.
A forty year old is wise.
A fifty year old can give advice.
A sixty year old experiences old age.
A seventy year old experiences the fullness of years.
An eighty year old experiences strength.
A ninety year old experiences a bent body.
A one hundred year old is as good as dead and it is as if he is gone from the world.
(א) מפני שיבה תקום. יָכוֹל זָקֵן אַשְׁמַאי, תַּ"ל זָקֵן, אֵין זָקֵן אֶלָּא שֶׁקָּנָה חָכְמָה (קידושין ל"ב):
(ב) והדרת פני זקן. אֵיזֶהוּ הִדּוּר? לֹא יֵשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְלֹא יִסְתֹּר אֶת דְּבָרָיו: יָכוֹל יַעֲצִים עֵינָיו כְּמִי שֶׁלֹּא רָאָהוּ? לְכָךְ נֶאֱמַר
ויראת מאלקיך, שֶׁהֲרֵי דָּבָר זֶה מָסוּר לְלִבּוֹ שֶׁל עוֹשֵׂהוּ, שֶׁאֵין מַכִּיר בּוֹ אֶלָּא הוּא, וְכָל דָּבָר הַמָּסוּר לַלֵּב נֶאֱמַר בוֹ וְיָרֵאתָ מֵּאֱלֹקֶיךָ (שם):
(1) מפני שיבה תקום YOU SHALL STAND UP BEFORE A WHITE HAIRED PERSON — One might think this reverence is also due to an ignorant old man! Scripture however says זקן — "thou shalt honour the face of the ״זקן — and זקן means only one who has acquired wisdom (Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 7 12;Kiddushin 32b).
(2) AND YOU SHALL HONOR THE FACE OF THE OLD — What does the term "honoring” an old man imply? That you should not sit in his seat and should not contradict his statements. You might think that you are allowed to close your eyes as though you don't see him (the old man)! The Torah however states "but be afraid of your God”, because no one knows whether or not you saw him [the old man] except you (in your private heart) and that's why the pasuk specifically states "You shall be afraid of God"- God, who knows your secret thoughts (Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 7 14; Kiddushin 32b).
Do we follow Rashi's statement and only honor old people who are wise/ Torah scholars? Keep reading to find out!
§ It was stated previously that Isi ben Yehuda says that as the pasuk states: “Before the white haired person you shall stand,” it indicates that even any elder is included, not only a Torah scholar.
Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Isi ben Yehuda. The Gemara relates: Rabbi Yoḥanan himself would stand before non-Jewish elders. He said: How many experiences [harpatkei] have occurred to these individuals! It is appropriate to honor them, due to the wisdom they have achieved from their long lives.
According to this source, why do we need to respect elderly people? What do they have that young people do not have?
Avraham Avinu asked Hashem to make people look old.
How can you tell whether someone is old? That’s easy, you will answer. An old person looks different from a young person. His hair is white and his face is wrinkled.
But this was not always so. Before Avraham’s time, old people looked young until they died.
This bothered Avraham. He and his son Yitzchak looked very similar. When the two of them entered a place together, people were confused. Who was the father and who was the son?
Avraham said to Hashem, “Please make old people look different from young ones! People don’t know whether to honor Yitzchak or me. Sometimes they mistake Yitzchak for me and give him honor; that makes him feel bad. If old people look their age, they will get the honor they deserve!”
Hashem answered, “Avraham, you have spoken well. I will make you look old. From now on, all old people will look different from young people.”
Suddenly, Avraham’s appearance changed. His black hair turned white. People stared because they had never seen anyone who looked old .Soon, all old people looked their age. Everyone got used to it.
So when we see a Jew with white hair, we have to know that his white hair is really a crown from Hashem. Hashem gave it to him as a sign for us to honor him.
ת"ר איזהו מטבע של ירושלים דוד ושלמה מצד אחד וירושלים עיר הקודש מצד אחר ואיזהו מטבע של אברהם אבינו זקן וזקינה מצד אחד ובחור ובתולה מצד אחר
Our Rabbis taught: What was the coin of Jerusalem?18 [The names] David and Solomon [were inscribed] on one side and [the name of] Jerusalem on the other. What was the coin of Abraham our Patriarch? — An old man and an old woman (interpreted to be Avraham and Sarah) on the one side, and a young man and a young woman (interpreted to be Yitzchak and Rivka) on the other.
(א) וַיֵּ֥לֶךְ רְחַבְעָ֖ם שְׁכֶ֑ם כִּ֥י שְׁכֶ֛ם בָּ֥א כׇל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לְהַמְלִ֥יךְ אֹתֽוֹ׃ (ב) וַיְהִ֞י כִּשְׁמֹ֣עַ ׀ יָרׇבְעָ֣ם בֶּן־נְבָ֗ט וְהוּא֙ עוֹדֶ֣נּוּ בְמִצְרַ֔יִם אֲשֶׁ֣ר בָּרַ֔ח מִפְּנֵ֖י הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹ֑ה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב יָרׇבְעָ֖ם בְּמִצְרָֽיִם׃ (ג) וַֽיִּשְׁלְחוּ֙ וַיִּקְרְאוּ־ל֔וֹ (ויבאו) [וַיָּבֹ֥א] יָרׇבְעָ֖ם וְכׇל־קְהַ֣ל יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וַֽיְדַבְּר֔וּ אֶל־רְחַבְעָ֖ם לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ד) אָבִ֖יךָ הִקְשָׁ֣ה אֶת־עֻלֵּ֑נוּ וְאַתָּ֡ה עַתָּ֣ה הָקֵל֩ מֵעֲבֹדַ֨ת אָבִ֜יךָ הַקָּשָׁ֗ה וּמֵעֻלּ֧וֹ הַכָּבֵ֛ד אֲשֶׁר־נָתַ֥ן עָלֵ֖ינוּ וְנַעַבְדֶֽךָּ׃ (ה) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם לְכוּ־עֹ֛ד שְׁלֹשָׁ֥ה יָמִ֖ים וְשׁ֣וּבוּ אֵלָ֑י וַיֵּלְכ֖וּ הָעָֽם׃ (ו) וַיִּוָּעַ֞ץ הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ רְחַבְעָ֗ם אֶת־הַזְּקֵנִים֙ אֲשֶׁר־הָי֣וּ עֹמְדִ֗ים אֶת־פְּנֵי֙ שְׁלֹמֹ֣ה אָבִ֔יו בִּֽהְיֹת֥וֹ חַ֖י לֵאמֹ֑ר אֵ֚יךְ אַתֶּ֣ם נוֹעָצִ֔ים לְהָשִׁ֥יב אֶת־הָעָם־הַזֶּ֖ה דָּבָֽר׃ (ז) (וידבר) [וַיְדַבְּר֨וּ] אֵלָ֜יו לֵאמֹ֗ר אִם־הַ֠יּ֠וֹם תִּֽהְיֶה־עֶ֜בֶד לָעָ֤ם הַזֶּה֙ וַעֲבַדְתָּ֔ם וַעֲנִיתָ֕ם וְדִבַּרְתָּ֥ אֲלֵיהֶ֖ם דְּבָרִ֣ים טוֹבִ֑ים וְהָי֥וּ לְךָ֛ עֲבָדִ֖ים כׇּל־הַיָּמִֽים׃ (ח) וַֽיַּעֲזֹ֛ב אֶת־עֲצַ֥ת הַזְּקֵנִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֣ר יְעָצֻ֑הוּ וַיִּוָּעַ֗ץ אֶת־הַיְלָדִים֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר גָּדְל֣וּ אִתּ֔וֹ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הָעֹמְדִ֖ים לְפָנָֽיו׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם מָ֚ה אַתֶּ֣ם נֽוֹעָצִ֔ים וְנָשִׁ֥יב דָּבָ֖ר אֶת־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֨ר דִּבְּר֤וּ אֵלַי֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר הָקֵל֙ מִן־הָעֹ֔ל אֲשֶׁר־נָתַ֥ן אָבִ֖יךָ עָלֵֽינוּ׃ (י) וַיְדַבְּר֣וּ אֵלָ֗יו הַיְלָדִים֙ אֲשֶׁ֨ר גָּדְל֣וּ אִתּוֹ֮ לֵאמֹר֒ כֹּה־תֹאמַ֣ר לָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֡ה אֲשֶׁר֩ דִּבְּר֨וּ אֵלֶ֜יךָ לֵאמֹ֗ר אָבִ֙יךָ֙ הִכְבִּ֣יד אֶת־עֻלֵּ֔נוּ וְאַתָּ֖ה הָקֵ֣ל מֵעָלֵ֑ינוּ כֹּ֚ה תְּדַבֵּ֣ר אֲלֵיהֶ֔ם קׇטׇנִּ֥י עָבָ֖ה מִמׇּתְנֵ֥י אָבִֽי׃ (יא) וְעַתָּ֗ה אָבִי֙ הֶעְמִ֤יס עֲלֵיכֶם֙ עֹ֣ל כָּבֵ֔ד וַאֲנִ֖י אוֹסִ֣יף עַֽל־עֻלְּכֶ֑ם אָבִ֗י יִסַּ֤ר אֶתְכֶם֙ בַּשּׁוֹטִ֔ים וַאֲנִ֕י אֲיַסֵּ֥ר אֶתְכֶ֖ם בָּעַקְרַבִּֽים׃ (יב) וַיָּב֨וֹ יָרׇבְעָ֧ם וְכׇל־הָעָ֛ם אֶל־רְחַבְעָ֖ם בַּיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֑י כַּאֲשֶׁ֨ר דִּבֶּ֤ר הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר שׁ֥וּבוּ אֵלַ֖י בַּיּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִֽׁי׃ (יג) וַיַּ֧עַן הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ אֶת־הָעָ֖ם קָשָׁ֑ה וַֽיַּעֲזֹ֛ב אֶת־עֲצַ֥ת הַזְּקֵנִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר יְעָצֻֽהוּ׃ (יד) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם כַּעֲצַ֤ת הַיְלָדִים֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אָבִי֙ הִכְבִּ֣יד אֶֽת־עֻלְּכֶ֔ם וַאֲנִ֖י אֹסִ֣יף עַֽל־עֻלְּכֶ֑ם אָבִ֗י יִסַּ֤ר אֶתְכֶם֙ בַּשּׁוֹטִ֔ים וַאֲנִ֕י אֲיַסֵּ֥ר אֶתְכֶ֖ם בָּעַקְרַבִּֽים׃ (טו) וְלֹא־שָׁמַ֥ע הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ אֶל־הָעָ֑ם כִּֽי־הָיְתָ֤ה סִבָּה֙ מֵעִ֣ם ה' לְמַ֜עַן הָקִ֣ים אֶת־דְּבָר֗וֹ אֲשֶׁ֨ר דִּבֶּ֤ר ה' בְּיַד֙ אֲחִיָּ֣ה הַשִּֽׁילֹנִ֔י אֶל־יָרׇבְעָ֖ם בֶּן־נְבָֽט׃ (טז) וַיַּ֣רְא כׇּל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל כִּ֠י לֹא־שָׁמַ֣ע הַמֶּ֘לֶךְ֮ אֲלֵהֶם֒ וַיָּשִׁ֣בוּ הָעָ֣ם אֶת־הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ ׀ דָּבָ֣ר ׀ לֵאמֹ֡ר מַה־לָּ֩נוּ֩ חֵ֨לֶק בְּדָוִ֜ד וְלֹא־נַחֲלָ֣ה בְּבֶן־יִשַׁ֗י לְאֹהָלֶ֙יךָ֙ יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל עַתָּ֕ה רְאֵ֥ה בֵיתְךָ֖ דָּוִ֑ד וַיֵּ֥לֶךְ יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לְאֹהָלָֽיו׃ (יז) וּבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל הַיֹּשְׁבִ֖ים בְּעָרֵ֣י יְהוּדָ֑ה וַיִּמְלֹ֥ךְ עֲלֵיהֶ֖ם רְחַבְעָֽם׃ {פ}
(יח) וַיִּשְׁלַ֞ח הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ רְחַבְעָ֗ם אֶת־אֲדֹרָם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עַל־הַמַּ֔ס וַיִּרְגְּמ֨וּ כׇל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֥ל בּ֛וֹ אֶ֖בֶן וַיָּמֹ֑ת וְהַמֶּ֣לֶךְ רְחַבְעָ֗ם הִתְאַמֵּץ֙ לַעֲל֣וֹת בַּמֶּרְכָּבָ֔ה לָנ֖וּס יְרֽוּשָׁלָֽ͏ִם׃ (יט) וַיִּפְשְׁע֤וּ יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ בְּבֵ֣ית דָּוִ֔ד עַ֖ד הַיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּֽה׃ {ס}
(PARAPHRASED)
Rechavam (the son of King Shlomo) went to Shechem. This is where Bnei Yisrael were going to come and crown him king.
At this time, Yeravam ben Nevat was still in Egypt. Because King Shlomo had made some wrong choices, Hashem had decided that Yeravam would become King of Yisrael while Rechavam would be king of the tribe of Yehuda.
Bnei Yisrael sent for Yeravam and had him come back. They asked hm to speak to Rechavam on their behalf. Yeravam said, "Your father, King Shlomo, made us pay a lot of money in taxes to you. Please lighten our burden and we will serve you!"
Rechavam said, "Let me have three days to think about it."
Rechavam went and spoke to the elders who had been his father King Shlomo's advisors. The elders said, "If today you serve the nation by lightening their taxes, they will serve you all their life." So they advised him to grant their request.
But Rechavam decided to consult with the young noblemen of the court as well. They suggested he be harsh with the people. They advised that he should say "My father put harsh taxes on you and I will put even stronger ones! My father whipped you with sticks but I will whip you with scorpions."
Yeravam and the nation came back to Rechavam on the third day, and Rechavam answered the people harshly. He said "My father put harsh taxes on you and I will put even stronger ones! My father whipped you with sticks but I will whip you with scorpions."
Bnei Yisrael were very disappointed and decided they didn't want to stay under Rechavam's rule. Instead, they appointed Yeravam over them. Only the tribes of Yehuda and part of Benjamin remained under Rechavam.
And so Rechavam lost his kingdom....all because he preferred the advice of the young noblemen to the wise elders.
It is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says: If old men say to you: Demolish, and children say to you: Build, then demolish and do not build, because the demolishing of old men is ultimately as constructive as building, despite the fact that it appears destructive, and the building of children is as destructive as demolishing. An indication of this matter is Rehoboam, son of Solomon. He ignored the advice of the Elders and did not lower himself before his people, which ultimately led to the people rebelling against him.
Rabban Gamliel was head of the Sanhedrin during the time of the Taanaim (rabbis who were alive when the Mishna was being written down).
Rabban Gamliel disagreed with Rabbi Yehoshua as to whether or not Maariv, the evening prayer, must be said. Rabban Gamliel thought it WAS obligatory while Rabbi Yehoshua thought it was not. One day, a student asked Rabbi Yehoshua whether Maariv had to be said and Rabbi Yehoshua told him it was optional. When Rabban Gamliel heard this, he confronted Rabbi Yehoshua.
Rabban Gamliel then made Rabbi Yehoshua stand during Rabban Gamliel's lecture at the yeshiva. (He didn't do this because he had anything against him personally, but because he didn't want the Jewish people to be confused about who had the ultimate authority/ which laws to follow and he wanted to make sure the halakha was clear to all.) The people were upset by how Rabbi Yehoshua was being treated and decided Rabban Gamliel should no longer be in charge. But who to appoint instead of Rabban Gamliel? Appointing Rabbi Yehoshua would be too disrespectful. And the people would not respect Rabbi Akiva because he did not come from a distinguished family.
Eventually, the people decided that Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, 18 years old, could do the job. But would the Jewish people follow such a young man? Hashem made a miracle and turned Rabbi Elazar's hair white like someone aged 70 so that the Jews would respect him!
The following is a conversation between Rabbi Elazar and his wife when he was asking her advice as to whether he should take the job.
Wife: What if they remove you just like they removed Rabban Gamliel?
Rabbi Elazar: There's a folk saying that you should use an expensive cup today and let it break tomorrow (basically, don't worry about what will happen in the future today.)
Wife: But you have no white hair, and it's not appropriate for someone so young to be in charge of all the rabbis!
Hashem: *made a miracle and his hair turned white!*
Do you recognize this story? You read it in the Haggadah every year!
אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן־עֲזַרְיָה הֲרֵי אֲנִי כְּבֶן שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה וְלֹא זָכִיתִי שֶׁתֵּאָמֵר יְצִיאַת מִצְרַיִם בַּלֵּילוֹת עַד שֶׁדְּרָשָׁהּ בֶּן זוֹמָא,
Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah said, "Behold I am like a man of seventy years and I have not merited [to understand why] the exodus from Egypt should be said at night until Ben Zoma explained it..."
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
- How is old age/ white hair viewed in this story?
- What does this show us about respect as it pertains to old age?
יוֹמָא חַד הֲוָה אָזֵל בְּאוֹרְחָא חַזְיֵיהּ לְהָהוּא גַּבְרָא דַּהֲוָה נָטַע חָרוּבָא אֲמַר לֵיהּ הַאי עַד כַּמָּה שְׁנִין טָעֵין אֲמַר לֵיהּ עַד שִׁבְעִין שְׁנִין אֲמַר לֵיהּ פְּשִׁיטָא לָךְ דְּחָיֵית שִׁבְעִין שְׁנִין אֲמַר לֵיהּ הַאי גַּבְרָא עָלְמָא בְּחָרוּבָא אַשְׁכַּחְתֵּיהּ כִּי הֵיכִי דִּשְׁתַלוּ לִי אֲבָהָתִי שְׁתַלִי נָמֵי לִבְרָאִי
One day, he [Honi] was walking along the road when he saw a certain man planting a carob tree. Ḥoni said to him: This tree, after how many years will it bear fruit? The man said to him: It will not produce fruit until seventy years have passed. Ḥoni said to him: Is it obvious to you that you will live seventy years, that you expect to benefit from this tree? He said to him: That man himself found a world full of carob trees. Just as my ancestors planted for me, I too am planting for my descendants.
אדרינוס שחיק טמיא, הוה עבר באלין שבילייא דטברייא. וחמא חד גבר, סב קאים וחציב חצובן, למנצב נציבין. א"ל: סבא, סבא, אי קרצת לא חשכת! א"ל: קריצת וחשיכת, ומה דהני למרי שמיא עבד. א"ל: בחייך סבא, בר כמה שנין את יומא דין? א"ל: בר מאה שנין. א"ל: ואת בר מאה שנין, וקאים וחצב חצובין למנצב נציבין, סבר דאת אכיל מנהון?! א"ל: אין זכית אכלית, ואם לאו, כשם שיגעו לי אבהתי כך אני יגע לבני! א"ל: בחייך, אם זכית אכול מנהון, תהוה מודע לי. לסוף יומין עבדין תאניא, אמר: הא ענתה נודע למלכא. מה עבד? מלא קרטלא תאינין, וסלק וקם ליה על תרע פלטין. אמרין ליה: מה עסקיך? אמר לון: עלון קדם מלכא, כיון דעל, אמר ליה: מה עסקך? א"ל: אנא סבא דעברת עלי, ואנא חצב חציבין למנצב נציבין, ואמרת לי: אין זכית תיכול מנהון, תהא מודע לי. הא זכיתי ואכילית מנהון, והילין תאיניא מן פיריהון. אמר אדרינוס, בההיא שעתא: קלוונין אנא, תיתנון סילון דדהבא ויתיב ליה. אמר: קלווניא אנא, דתפנון הדין קרטל, דידיה ותמלון יתיה דינרין. אמרין ליה עבדוהי: כל הדין מוקרא תיקריניה להדין סבא דיהודאי?! אמר להון: בריה אוקריא, ואנא לא אנא מוקר ליה?! אנתתיה דמגירא, הות ברת פחין, אמרה לבעלה: בר קבלוי, חמי דהדא מלכא, רחמא תינין ומפרגא בדינרין. מה עבד? מלא מרעליה תינין, ואזל וקם קדם פלטין. א"ל: מה עסקך? אמר לון: שמעית דמלכא רחמא תינין ומפרגא בדינרין. עלון ואמרין למלכא: חד סבא קאים, על תרע פלטין טעין מלא מרעליה תינין, ואמרנא ליה: מה עסקך? א"ל: שמעית, דמלכא רחמא תינין ומפרגא בדינרין. אמר: קלוונין אנא, דתקימין יתיה קדם תרע פלטין, וכל מאן דעייל, ונפק יהי טרו על אפיה, באפתי רמשא פנון יתיה, ואזל לביתיה. אמר לאנתתיה: ככל הדין יקרא, אנא שלים לך. אמרה: אזיל גלוג לאמך, תהוון אינון תינין ולא הוון אתרגון, דהוון בשילן ולא פגינן:
The Israelites were commanded to plant trees in Canaan when it came into their possession (Lev. xix. 23). Thus they were to occupy themselves in agriculture, and even imitate their God, who, after calling the world into existence, planted trees therein.
Adrianus (Hadrian) was passing on his way to Tiberias when he saw a very old man digging holes preparatory to planting trees. Addressing the old man, he said: "I can understand you having worked in your younger days to provide food for yourself, but you seem to labor in vain at this work. You can surely not expect to eat of the fruits which the trees, that you intend planting, will bring forth?" "I," said the old man, "must nevertheless do my duty as long as I am able to do it." "How old are you?" asked Adrianus. "I am a hundred years old," replied the planter, "and the God who granted me these long years may even vouchsafe me to eat of the fruit of these trees. But in any
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case I do not grudge the labor on them, and as it pleases the Lord so he may do with me." "Promise me," said Adrianus, "that if you should be alive when these trees bear figs you will apprise me of it." When the trees brought forth their fruit the old man loaded a basket full of figs, and made his way with the fruit to the King's palace. Arrived at the gate he was at first refused admission, but owing partly to his persistence, and partly to his venerable appearance, his wish for an audience was conveyed to the King, who granted it. On being asked his wish, he reminded the King that he was the old man whom his Majesty had observed planting trees, and that he had expressed the wish to be acquainted with the fact if the old man should be alive when the trees bore fruit. "Here," continued the old man, "I have brought a basket full of the figs which I plucked from the trees your Majesty saw me planting." So pleased was Adrianus with the incident that he accepted the fruit from the gray-haired man and ordered the basket, now empty, to be filled with coins.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
- These stories are very similar- what do each of them show about the old man and his perspective on life? How are they thinking forward to the future? A contemporary example of these kinds of life lessons appears in 'Tuesdays with Morrie.'
Unfortunately, our society still has a long way to go when it comes to respecting the elderly the way we should...
א"ל רבא לרבה בר מרי מנא הא מילתא דאמרי אינשי כד הוינן זוטרי לגברי השתא דקשישנא לדרדקי אמר ליה מעיקרא כתיב (שמות יג, כא) וה' הולך לפניהם יומם בעמוד ענן לנחותם הדרך ולילה בעמוד אש להאיר להם ולבסוף כתיב (שמות כג, כ) הנה אנכי שולח מלאך לפניך לשמרך בדרך
Rabba again said to Rabba bar Mari: From where can we derive the popular saying: ‘When we were young we were treated as men, whereas now that we have grown old we are looked upon as babies’? — He replied: It is first written: And the L-rd went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light” but subsequently it is written: “Behold I send an angel before you to keep you on the way.”
By: Dr. Paul E. Ruskin
This essay is based on a lecture given to a class of graduate nurses entitled “The Psychological Aspects of Aging”
Case Presentation:
The patient neither speaks nor comprehends the spoken word. Sometimes she babbles incoherently for hours on end. She is disoriented about person, place and time. She does, however, respond to her own name. I have worked with her for the past six months, but she still shows complete disregard for her physical appearance and makes no effort to assist in her own care.
She must be fed, bathed and clothed by others. Because she has no teeth, her food must be pureed. Her shirt is usually soiled from almost incessant drooling. She does not walk, her sleep pattern is erratic. Often she wakes in the middle of the night, and her screaming awakens others. Most of the time, she is friendly and happy, but several times a day she gets agitated without apparent cause, then she wails until someone comes to comfort her.
I asked how the nurses would feel about taking care of such a patient. They used such words as “frustrated,” “hopeless,” “depressed,” and “annoyed.” When I said that I enjoyed it and thought they would too, the class looked at me in disbelief. Then I passed around a picture of the patient: my sixth month old daughter.
Why is it so much more difficult to care for a 90-year-old than a six-month-old with identical symptoms? A helpless baby may weigh fifteen pounds and a helpless adult one hundred pounds, but the answer goes deeper than this. The infant, the class and I agreed, represents new life, hope and almost infinite potential. The aged patient represents the end of life, with little chance for growth. We need to change our perspective. Those who are ending their lives in the helplessness of old age deserve the same care and attention as those who are beginning their lives in the helplessness of infancy.
Blessed are they who understand
my faltering footsteps and shaking hand.
Blessed are they that know my ears today
must strain to catch the words they say.
Blessed are they who seem to know
my eyes are dim and my wits are slow.
Blessed are they who look away
when the coffee spilled today.
Blessed are they who with a cheery smile
stop to chat for a while.
Blessed are they who never say,
“You’ve told that story twice today.”
Blessed are they who know the way
To bring back lovely memories of yesterdays.
Blessed are they who make it known
that I am loved, not left alone.
Blessed are they who make the time
to come and visit with me.