אֵיכָ֣ה ׀ יָשְׁבָ֣ה בָדָ֗ד הָעִיר֙ רַבָּ֣תִי עָ֔ם הָיְתָ֖ה כְּאַלְמָנָ֑ה רַבָּ֣תִי בַגּוֹיִ֗ם שָׂרָ֙תִי֙ בַּמְּדִינ֔וֹת הָיְתָ֖ה לָמַֽס׃ {ס} בָּכ֨וֹ תִבְכֶּ֜ה בַּלַּ֗יְלָה וְדִמְעָתָהּ֙ עַ֣ל לֶֽחֱיָ֔הּ אֵֽין־לָ֥הּ מְנַחֵ֖ם מִכׇּל־אֹהֲבֶ֑יהָ כׇּל־רֵעֶ֙יהָ֙ בָּ֣גְדוּ בָ֔הּ הָ֥יוּ לָ֖הּ לְאֹיְבִֽים׃ {ס}
Alas[How]! Lonely sits the city Once great with people! She that was great among nations Is become like a widow; The princess among states Is become a thrall. Bitterly she weeps in the night, Her cheek wet with tears. There is none to comfort her Of all her friends. All her allies have betrayed her; They have become her foes.
. א"ר יוחנן בן תורתא מפני מה חרבה שילה מפני בזיון קדשים שבתוכה. ירושלים בנין הראשון מפני מה חרבה מפני עבודת כוכבים וגלוי עריות ושפיכות דמים שהיו בתוכה. אבל באחרונה מכירין אנו בהן שהן עמלים בתורה וזהירין במעשרות מפני מה גלו מפני שאוהבין את הממון ושונאין איש את רעהו
R’ Yochanan ben Turta said: why was Shiloh destroyed? Because there they treated holy offerings disgracefully. Why was the first building of Jerusalem destroyed? Because of the idolatry, sexual immorality and spilling of blood that was in its midst. But we know that in the later one (Second Temple period) they labored in Torah and were careful with tithes, so why were they exiled? Because they loved money and each one hated his fellow.
- How? How is it this once great city sitting lonely?
- Why? What did the people do that brought on this destruction? [This is also the question of Deuteronomy that we read during this season- what sins led to this punishment?]
Rabbi Alan Lew z"l, This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared (pp. 60-63)
...Who am I really? What will be left when the walls of constructed identity come down?...The time has come to get off it, to drop the mask. After all, in seven weeks we will stand before the one who sees through all masks. The time has come to turn. So the Torah tells us seven times. Vneifen, u-finu—and they turned, now you turn. What is required of us at Tisha B’Av is a simple turn of mind, a turn toward consciousness, a turn away from denial, from the inertia, from the passive momentum of our lives, a turn away from those things that continue to happen unconsciously, and a conscious decision to change. A letting go, letting the walls of identity crumble, and turning toward that which remains....
Tisha B’Av has a hot tip for us: Take the suffering. Take the loss. Turn toward it. Embrace it. Let the walls come down...
The walls of our soul begin to crumble and the first glimmerings of transformation—of Teshuvah—begin to seep in. We turn and stop looking beyond ourselves. We stop defending ourselves. We stop blaming bad luck and circumstances and other people for our difficulties. We turn in and let the walls fall.
Questions for discussion (adapted from Rabbi Alan Lew, full list of Rabbi Lew's questions below)
- What arises as you read this passage? What resonates (or doesn’t)?
- What is the connection (if any) for you between Tisha B'av (grief, loss) and Teshuva (repentance, return, renewal)?
- How do you understand the relationship between blame and accountability?
- Ayeka- Where are you? What transition point are you standing at?
- What is causing sharp feeling in us, disturbing us, knocking us a little off balance?
- What truths have you been walling out? What might you let it?
- Who have you been walling out? Who might you let in, and with whom do you need to maintain your boundaries?
- What might result from letting the walls fall? What might we embrace?
- What larger gesture would we see about to complete itself in our lives?
Tisha B’Av has a few questions for us as well:
- Where are we?
- What transition point are we standing at?
- What is causing sharp feeling in us, disturbing us, knocking us a little off balance?
- Where is our suffering?
- What is making us feel bad?
- What is making us feel at all?
- How long will we keep the walls up?
- How long will we furiously defend against what we know deep down to be the truth of our lives?
- Will we turn?
- Will we let the walls of our psyche fall with the walls of the Great Temple?
- Will we let in the truth we have been walling out all year long and let this truth help us to stop making the same mistakes again and again?
- Will we let this moment of consciousness help us break the unconscious momentum of our lives?
- Will we move from a state of siege to a state of openness, to a state of truthfulness, especially with ourselves?
- What might we see as a result?
- What deep wellspring would suddenly become apparent to us?
- What pattern would we see ourselves repeating?
- What larger gesture would we see about to complete itself in our lives?
- What do we need to embrace?