In introducing this kinnah, I wanted to say over some ideas I heard from Rabbi Yussie Zakutinsky, who was formerly in Rav Moshe Weinberger's kollel, and is the Rav of a shul in Five Towns. Some concepts may be slightly controversial, but I am not trying to be insensitive, just trying to make sense of some of the suffering that is part of Tisha B'av. Every religion is called upon to answer the age old question of why bad things happen to good people, this next kinnah, Arzei Halevanon, which we read today and a slightly different version of this text on Yom Kippur, discusses an extreme example of that question, Rabbi Akiva and other great Rabbis tortured by the Romans. We are familiar with the gory details in this text and in some ways its a central idea to the feeling of Tisha B'Av. A time we are supposed to feel bad and depressed and tortured, of course that seems to last until after the first holocaust movie, because after that, you can't take it anymore. I'm reminded of the famous line in Fiddler on the Roof, "Dear G-d, I know we your chosen people, but once in a while, can you choose someone else?"
Our tradition speaks about suffering in many places, in Berachot, the gemorrah discuss suffering of love.
תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַאי אוֹמֵר: שָׁלֹשׁ מַתָּנוֹת טוֹבוֹת נָתַן הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, וְכוּלָּן לֹא נְתָנָן אֶלָּא עַל יְדֵי יִסּוּרִין, אֵלּוּ הֵן: תּוֹרָה וְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל וְהָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.
Additionally, it was taught in a baraita with regard to affliction: Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai says: The Holy One, Blessed be He, gave Israel three precious gifts, all of which were given only by means of suffering, which purified Israel so that they may merit to receive them. These gifts are: Torah, Eretz Yisrael, and the World-to-Come.
רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר חֲלַשׁ. עַל לְגַבֵּיהּ רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן. חֲזָא דַּהֲוָה קָא גָּנֵי בְּבֵית אָפֵל. גַּלְיֵיהּ לִדְרָעֵיהּ וּנְפַל נְהוֹרָא. חַזְיֵיהּ דַּהֲוָה קָא בָּכֵי רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַמַּאי קָא בָּכֵית? אִי מִשּׁוּם תּוֹרָה דְּלָא אַפֵּשְׁתְּ — שָׁנִינוּ: אֶחָד הַמַּרְבֶּה וְאֶחָד הַמַּמְעִיט, וּבִלְבַד שֶׁיְּכַוֵּין לִבּוֹ לַשָּׁמַיִם. וְאִי מִשּׁוּם מְזוֹנֵי — לֹא כׇּל אָדָם זוֹכֶה לִשְׁתֵּי שֻׁלְחָנוֹת. וְאִי מִשּׁוּם בְּנֵי — דֵּין גַּרְמָא דַּעֲשִׂירָאָה בִּיר.
The Gemara relates that Rabbi Elazar, another of Rabbi Yoḥanan’s students, fell ill. Rabbi Yoḥanan entered to visit him, and saw that he was lying in a dark room. Rabbi Yoḥanan exposed his arm, and light radiated from his flesh, filling the house. He saw that Rabbi Elazar was crying, and said to him: Why are you crying? Thinking that his crying was over the suffering that he endured throughout his life, Rabbi Yoḥanan attempted to comfort him: If you are weeping because you did not study as much Torah as you would have liked, we learned: One who brings a substantial sacrifice and one who brings a meager sacrifice have equal merit, as long as he directs his heart toward Heaven. If you are weeping because you lack sustenance and are unable to earn a livelihood, as Rabbi Elazar was, indeed, quite poor, not every person merits to eat off of two tables, one of wealth and one of Torah, so you need not bemoan the fact that you are not wealthy. If you are crying over children who have died, this is the bone of my tenth son, and suffering of that kind afflicts great people, and they are afflictions of love.
There is a certain concept of suffering, one that we are experiencing that is both reflected in our lives, the struggles, challenges and real suffering that we go through and the suffering of not having the Temple, the essence of our mourning today is our loss of the Temple, but why should that make a difference to us, we still have tefillin, we still have our prayer, our learning, what is it about having the beis hamikdash that should illicit such mourning and how does our mourning and suffering rebuild that temple albeit in a spritual and hopefully physical way. To do so we need to examine the concept in Shir HaShirim
(יא) צְאֶ֧נָה ׀ וּֽרְאֶ֛ינָה בְּנ֥וֹת צִיּ֖וֹן בַּמֶּ֣לֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹ֑ה בָּעֲטָרָ֗ה שֶׁעִטְּרָה־לּ֤וֹ אִמּוֹ֙ בְּי֣וֹם חֲתֻנָּת֔וֹ וּבְי֖וֹם שִׂמְחַ֥ת לִבּֽוֹ׃ {ס}
(11) O maidens of Zion, go forth And gaze upon King Solomon Wearing the crown that his mother Gave him on his wedding day, On his day of bliss.
The crown given to King Shlomo on the day of his wedding and the day of his bliss, the medresh teaches us, Yom Hasunaso, ze matan torah v'yom simchat libo, zeh binyan beis ha mikdash, the day of his wedding was the giving of the Torah and the day of his bliss is the building of the beis hamikdash. This sentence doesn't imply two different times but the explanation by Chazal. The paradigm for the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people is that of a husband and wife. There are two aspects to that relationship, the receiving of the Torah and place where G-d was revealed to the Jewish people on a seemingly daily basis, the Beis HaMikdash. The Beis HaMikdash is a place where we are together with G-d and its destruction is the beginning of the exile, it is almost as if we are still married to G-d but we have been kicked out of the house, Galus, or exile is the very opposite of the Beis HaMikdash because our relationship is no longer seen through the prism of that constant presence, its no longer the place we occupy together as husband and wife. There are certain things that spouses did before they were married and those things don't change after the day of the wedding such as eating or praying, while there are certain things that change completely once someone gets married, the greatest marriages are ones where the perspective changes, their entire life is seen through the prism of marriage.
ר"ע רעיא דבן כלבא שבוע הוה חזיתיה ברתיה דהוה צניע ומעלי אמרה ליה אי מקדשנא לך אזלת לבי רב אמר לה אין איקדשא ליה בצינעה ושדרתיה שמע אבוה אפקה מביתיה אדרה הנאה מנכסיה אזיל יתיב תרי סרי שנין בבי רב כי אתא אייתי בהדיה תרי סרי אלפי תלמידי שמעיה לההוא סבא דקאמר לה עד כמה
The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long
קא מדברת אלמנות חיים אמרה ליה אי לדידי ציית יתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני אמר ברשות קא עבידנא הדר אזיל ויתיב תרי סרי שני אחריני בבי רב כי אתא אייתי בהדיה עשרין וארבעה אלפי תלמידי שמעה דביתהו הות קא נפקא לאפיה אמרו לה שיבבתא שאילי מאני לבוש ואיכסאי אמרה להו (משלי יב, י) יודע צדיק נפש בהמתו כי מטיא לגביה נפלה על אפה קא מנשקא ליה לכרעיה הוו קא מדחפי לה שמעיה אמר להו שבקוה שלי ושלכם שלה הוא
will you lead the life of a widow of a living man, living alone while your husband is in another place? She said to him: If he would listen to me, he would sit and study for another twelve years. When Rabbi Akiva heard this he said: I have permission to do this. He went back and sat for another twelve years in the study hall. When he came back he brought twenty-four thousand students with him. His wife heard and went out toward him to greet him. Her neighbors said: Borrow some clothes and wear them, as your current apparel is not appropriate to meet an important person. She said to them: “A righteous man understands the life of his beast” (Proverbs 12:10). When she came to him she fell on her face and kissed his feet. His attendants pushed her away as they did not know who she was, and he said to them: Leave her alone, as my Torah knowledge and yours is actually hers.
Rabbi Akiva is the ultimate example of two concepts. The relationship between husband and wife, after all, how many other rabbis in the talmud do we know their wives, very few, how many do we know about how they met, their relationship, the conflict with the father in law, the first apartment? He also sees the world through the relationship with his wife, mine, and yours are hers, my achievements in learning and your learning are all hers. Rebbi Akiva is also constantly yearning for geulah, constantly searching to bring about moshiach, while really the first major rabbinic figure in the exile, he is the first one to "sweeten the judgment". He is our representative of Galus and at the same time seeking to create a tikkun, to fix the exile, in a spiritual way, to unite G-d and the Jewish people, to bring them back to that place where they can be together.We see this at the end of makkos, where he has a completely different perspective than his peers, and is able to comfort them. He accomplishes this by a three fold process, first, there is a hachana, he almost meditates on the suffering, he also is sad when approaching the temple mount, since he is included in those who tore their garments, the suffering itself humbles you, it demonstrates the sheer power of the things outside your control, the second step is to take a broader view, to create perspective, to realize that there someone that is directing the suffering, that in a world view where there is an omnipotent G-d, that suffering is not outside the realm of G-d, that it must be something that is meant to create a certain repair in this world, that it must have a certain objective, and finally the third step is to transform the suffering into something that is a reflection of the love of that relatioship, the relationship between husband and wife, and the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people, both on a national and a personal level, as a part of the national body). This is how Akiva sees the Romans torturing him, they are enabling him the opportunity to turn a chillul Hashem into a kiddush Hashem. The idea of chillul or the word challal is void, that there is a certain place, and in that place, through your behavior and actions you have attempted or made it seem like Hashem is not there, almost trying to remove him. Kiddush Hashem is the opposite, in the place where you wouldn't expect to find G-d, through your actions, you are revealing his presence. This is exactly what Rabbi Akiva is doing in this kinnah, this person, a representation of Galus and the yearning of moshiach, this great person, who's relationship with his wife, is the paradigm for our view of marriage, or as Rav Reuven Feinstein recently said, the greatest love story, this is the person who can show us again and again, that even in the places where there is suffering and hardship and national tragedy, there is G-d.