Why do we do THAT? Exploration of Minhagim (customs) Surrounding Birth and Death

The Evil Eye

This superstition stems from the notion of the evil eye, or ayin hara. In the Mishnah, a person with ayin hara is someone who cannot be happy for another’s good fortune. She or he is distressed and angry when good things happen to his or her friends and even just having them look at you could cause you great harm or misfortune. As a result, many Jewish communities have developed a tradition of not calling attention to good things, so as not to bait ayin hara.

The evil eye has deep roots in the Jewish tradition—it’s the idea that celebrating something we anticipate before it happens, such as a shower before a baby is born, might “cause” something bad to happen to the mother or baby.

This is one of the reasons the traditional way to congratulate a Jewish woman on her pregnancy is to say “B’sha’ah tovah” (“In good time”), as opposed to “Mazel tov” (“Congratulations”). In this way, one is avoiding the evil eye by wishing with the future parents that things will unfold as they should. When the happy and healthy baby arrives, wishing someone mazel tov is perfectly appropriate.

Superstition:

Keeping A Baby's Name a Secret Until the Naming Ceremony

First of all, it is a custom to give the baby a name at the bris or simchat bat.

But why the secrecy? Jews keep baby names under wraps because, “keeping the name a secret is based on superstition, i.e. not giving the Angel of Death the opportunity to identify the child and kill him before the bris.

Rabbi Shraga Simmons explains:

Contrary to popular perception, it is not forbidden to announce the name of a baby before his Bris. In a metaphysical sense, however, the child does not actually “receive” his name until the Bris. This is based on the fact that God changed Abraham’s name in conjunction with his Bris — at age 99 (Genesis 17:15). Also, the boy only receives the full measure of his soul at the Bris, and a person cannot truly be “named” until attaining that completion. (see Zohar – Lech Lecha 93a, Ta’amei Minhagim 929)

HOW DID B’RIT MILAH BEGIN?

B’rit milah is the oldest religious rite in Judaism, dating back almost four thousand years. It is first mentioned in Genesis 17, when God commands Abraham: “Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and that shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. At the age of eight days, every male among you throughout the generations shall be circumcised, even the homeborn slave. . . . An uncircumcised male . . . has broken My covenant.”

According to the Torah, Abraham immediately followed God’s command, circumcising himself, his son Ishmael, and all the males of his household. Abraham was ninety-nine years old at the time of his circumcision, while Ishmael was thirteen, which may serve in part to explain the common practice among some peoples of circumcision at puberty.

From that time forward, however, Jewish males were circumcised at the age of eight days, not as a symbol of fertility but as a sign of their membership in a covenant people.

Superstition:

Tie a red ribbon on the crib of a new baby to protect from the evil eye

The background is that the colour red is supposed to be a protection against the evil eye (malicious words or thoughts by someone who is jealous of, or has a grudge against, the child or the family).

This magical power is apparently derived from the association of red with the blood of sacrifice, for which it is a substitute, and therefore it is thought to appease the power of evil.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DEATH Jacob is promised that when he dies, “Joseph’s hand shall close your eyes.” (Genesis 46:4). The 16th century “Code of Jewish Law” dictated that the eyes should be closed, arms and hands extended and brought close to the body and the lower jaw closed and bound. The body was placed on the floor, with the feet towards the door. The body was covered with a sheet and a lit candle placed near the head. The Midrash states that on Shabbat one does not close the eyes, bind the jaw or light a candle.

 Some Jewish communities would place potsherds on the eyes; Russians placed coins. Ancient superstitions in many cultures held that if the eyes were opened, the ghost of the deceased would return to fetch away another of the household.

 The body was placed on the floor, sometimes on a bed of straw, 20 minutes to an hour after death.

 Many communities believed (and still do) that a body must be taken out feet first. If they are taken out head first, this allows them to “look” back into the home and beckon someone else to join them in death.

WATCHING THE BODY

The deceased is not left alone until burial. There was a wide-spread belief in the Middle Ages that at the moment of death a struggle occurs between angels and demons, each seeking to control the deceased’s soul. Jews believed that the demons are denied access to the dying if someone stands guard over them.

 The Talmud postulates that the body was watched to protect it from rodents and similar marauders.

 In the Middle Ages, Polish Kabbalist Isaiah Horowitz wrote, “I have received a tradition that those who watch the corpse from the moment of death until it is covered with earth should gather around it so closely that not a breath of ‘outside air’ [otherwise known as a demon] can seep past their guard; they should constantly repeat this prayer without an instant’s pause, even a thousand times.” The prayer in question was an acrostic of the 42-letter name of God, based on gematria patterns of 7.

 Another late medieval custom was to march 7 times around the corpse reciting “certain Biblical selections which drive away the spirits so that they may not seize the body.”

USE OF WATER TO ANNOUNCE A DEATH

References to pouring out water at the time of death are found in 13th century German and French sources, and many countries had some version of water pouring at the time of death. It was thought that if anyone said the word “death” Satan would find out and be tempted to take the soul of the deceased. If one silently poured out water, then Satan wouldn’t hear of the death.

Families kept jugs of mayim she’uvim (drawn water) at the entrances to homes and this water was used to announce the death. Some sources say that all of the water in the house was poured out (this being a time without plumbing, so water would have been held in vessels). The water was also considered to be tainted by the nearby death, and unsuitable to be used. It was commonly believed in the Middle Ages that water on the ground would keep the ghost of the recently departed at bay so that it would not attack relatives of the deceased.

The Kolbo (14th -15th century law codes) offers these explanations:

 It is objectionable to communicate bad news directly, and water is poured out so passers-by will know that a death took place.

 The Angel of Death cleanses his dripping knife in water after it has been steeped in gall, and all water is poured away so he can’t dip his bloodstained weapon into a vessel, thereby scattering death abroad.

 The “Jewish Quarterly” from 1894 quotes a James Frazer (“a recognized authority on such matters”), who thought the practice was traced to a fear that the ghost would fall in and be drowned (and therefore not able to go to his final resting place). Some Orthodox do still observe water traditions:

 Water that is found in any utensil in the building when the death occurred should be spilled out, unless it was brought in after the death occurred. For example, if you had a cup of water present in the building at the time of the death you would throw that water out. Seltzer, soda, soup, tea do not need to be spilled.

 Spilling the water out also applies to the two buildings nearest to the building in which the person died, unless a public road or street comes between the buildings.

 Water is not poured out on Shabbat or Yom Tov.

 There are 2 reasons for throwing out the water: (1) the angel of death drops a drop of “blood of death” into the water, and (2) people will realize that someone died and will therefore act appropriately.

KRIYAH

When he thought that Joseph had been killed, “Ya’akov tore his robes in grief and put on sackcloth.” (Genesis 37:34)

Kriyah is the ritual of rending the clothes,Kriyah meaning “tearing.” The Talmud prescribed that everyone who witnessed a death must rend a garment immediately. In time, this requirement was modified to apply to only close relatives, and the time frame was relaxed as well.

Many contemporary Jews wait until they are able to change into appropriate clothing and some perform Keria at the funeral home.

Most Sephardim wait until after the burial to rend their garments.

Kriyah is performed after the Da’Yan Ha’Emet blessing is recited: “Baruch ata Adonai, Elohenu Melech ha-olam, Da’Yan Ha’Emet, “who is a righteous judge.” This affirms that God is not held responsible for the misfortune and that the mourner accepts his lot as part of the natural order of the world. Or more traditionally, that we affirm our belief that everything God does is true and fair, though at the moment we cannot understand it.

Some scholars believe that the ritual of Kriyah was introduced as a substitute for the pagan practices of gashing one’s flesh and shaving off one’s hair.

In the mid-19th century, Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, the leader of American Reform Judaism, discouraged the rite of rending as a sign of mourning, although this custom has now returned. Many reform and other liberal Jews pin a cut black ribbon to their garments instead of rending them.

WHO SHOULD YOU BE BURIED WITH AND HOW QUICKLY SHOULD THE BURIAL HAPPEN?

The one thing expressed most clearly by Israelite burial practices was the human desire to maintain some contact with the community even after death, through burial in one's native land, and if possible with one's ancestors. Jacob's request, “Bury me with my fathers” (Gen. 49:29), was the wish of every ancient Israelite.

Jewish custom insists on prompt burial as a matter of respect for the dead. According to one Kabbalistic source, burial refreshes the soul of the deceased, and only after burial will it be admitted to God's presence. The precedents set by the prompt burials of Sarah (Gen. 23) and of Rachel (Gen. 35:19) are reinforced by the Torah's express command that even the body of a man who had been hanged shall not remain upon the tree all night, but “thou shalt surely bury him the same day” (Deut. 21:23).

RECITING OF PSALM 91: Yoshev b’seter Elyon.

This lyric poem came to be known as the Anti-demonic Psalm and is recited as the coffin is carried from hearse to grave. It was believed that the recitation of Psalm 91 could counteract the evil intentions of demons that are unusually active at the time of burial.

During the procession, when Verse 11 is recited (“For He will order His angels to guard you wherever you go”), seven stops are made. Explanations for the stops include hesitance to leave the deceased, or the seven times the word “vanity” is found in the Book of Ecclesiastes, or the seven stages of life.

But modern scholars generally think that the origin of this stopping and starting was the belief that it would cause the evil spirits following the dead to become confused, disoriented and uncertain about the whereabouts of the deceased.

In the 9th century, the Goan Sar Shalom explained that the processions paused in order to shake off evil spirits that clung to those who attended a funeral. With each stop, one spirit would disappear. Scholars in subsequent centuries, such as Rashi, noted that with each pause the evil spirits lose their effectiveness. Some scholars would recite the Anti-demonic Psalm before an afternoon nap, just in case

COVERING MIRRORS

It is a contemporary practice, rather than an ancient tradition, to cover all the mirrors in the house where the deceased is lying, and to keep mirrors covered through Shiva. There are several explanations given for this, including:

 One should not be overly involved in their own vanity during moments of tragedy, and it is disrespectful to the deceased to be involved in one’s own beauty and ornamentation at a time when their body is decaying.

 Prayer services, such as a Shiva minyan, are held in the home and it is forbidden to pray in front of a mirror.

 There was a primitive belief that the soul was reflected in the mirror, and the ghost of the deceased would be able to see the soul and snatch it away.