The Origins of the Jewish Wedding

(54) Then [Avraham's servant] and [Betuel and Lavan's ]men with him ate and drank, and they spent the night. When they arose next morning, he said, “Give me leave to go to my master.” (55) But her brother and her mother said, “Let the maiden remain with us some ten days; then you may go.” (56) He said to them, “Do not delay me, now that the LORD has made my errand successful. Give me leave that I may go to my master.” (57) And they said, “Let us call the girl and ask for her reply.”

(58) They called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will.” (59) So they sent off their sister Rebekah and her nurse along with Abraham’s servant and his men.

(60) And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “O sister! May you grow Into thousands of myriads; May your offspring seize The gates of their foes.” (61) Then Rebekah and her maids arose, mounted the camels, and followed the man. So the servant took Rebekah and went his way.

(62) Isaac had just come back from the vicinity of Beer-lahai-roi, for he was settled in the region of the Negeb. (63) And Isaac went out walking in the field toward evening and, looking up, he saw camels approaching.

(64) Raising her eyes, Rebekah saw Isaac. She alighted from the camel (65) and said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field toward us?” And the servant said, “That is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself.

(66) The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. (67) Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.

(18) The Eternal God said, “It is not good for the human to be alone; I will make a fitting helper for it.”

(21) So the Eternal God cast a deep sleep upon the human; and, while it slept, God took one of his ribs/sides and closed up the flesh at that spot. (22) And the Eternal God fashioned the rib/side that God had taken from the human into a woman; and God brought her to the human. (23) Then the human said:

“This one at last

Is bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh.

This one shall be called Woman,

For from Man was she taken.”

(24) Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh. (25) The two of them were naked, the man and his wife, yet they felt no shame.

(10) Thus said the Eternal: Again there shall be heard in this place, which you say is ruined, without man or beast—in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are desolate, without man, without inhabitants, without beast— (11) the sound of mirth and gladness, the voice of bridegroom and bride, the voice of those who cry, “Give thanks to the Eternal God of Hosts, for the Eternal is good, for God's kindness is everlasting!” as they bring thanksgiving offerings to the House of the Eternal. For I will restore the fortunes of the land as of old—said the Eternal.

(1) A woman is acquired by, i.e., becomes betrothed to, a man to be his wife in three ways, and she acquires herself, i.e., she terminates her marriage, in two ways. The mishna elaborates: She is acquired through money, through a document, and through sexual intercourse. With regard to a betrothal through money, there is a dispute between tanna’im: Beit Shammai say that she can be acquired with one dinar or with anything that is worth one dinar. And Beit Hillel say: She can be acquired with one peruta, a small copper coin, or with anything that is worth one peruta. The mishna further clarifies: And how much is the value of one peruta, by the fixed value of silver? The mishna explains that it is one-eighth of the Italian issar, which is a small silver coin. And a woman acquires herself through a bill of divorce or through the death of the husband. A woman whose husband, who had a brother, died childless [yevama], can be acquired by the deceased husband’s brother, the yavam, only through intercourse. And she acquires herself, i.e., she is released from her levirate bond, through ḥalitza or through the death of the yavam.

(1) Before the giving of the Torah, it would be that if a man happened upon a woman in the marketplace and they wanted to marry each other, he would bring her into his house and consummate the marriage between them privately, and she would be his wife. Once the Torah was given, Israel was commanded that if a man wanted to marry a woman, he would acquire her first through witnesses, and afterwards she would be his wife, as it says, "When a man takes a woman and comes (sleeps with) to her..." (Deuteronomy 22:13).

(2) And taking a wife as such is a positive commandment of the Torah. And a woman is acquired through three means: money, a contract, or through intercourse. Marriage through intercourse and by contract is from the Torah, and by money is Rabbinical [lit. "the words of the Scribes"]. And this acquisition is what is called "Kiddushin" or "Eirusin" in several places. And a woman who is acquired through one of these three means is called a "Mekudeshet" or "Meureset".

It is taught in another baraita: One recites the benediction of the grooms in the house of the grooms, and the benediction of the betrothal in the house of the betrothal. With regard to the benediction of the betrothal, what formula does one recite? Ravin bar Rav Adda and Rabba bar Rav Adda both said in the name of Rav Yehuda:

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who sanctified us through His mitzvot, and commanded us concerning the forbidden relatives, and prohibited to us those women who are betrothed, and permitted to us those women who are married by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal.

Rav Aḥa, son of Rava, concludes the blessing in the name of Rav Yehuda: Blessed are You, Lord, Who sanctifies Israel by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal.

One who does not conclude the benediction of the betrothal in accordance with the opinion of Rav Aḥa, but instead recites it without a concluding blessing, deems the formula of this blessing just as the formula is in the blessing recited over fruits and the blessing recited over mitzvot, in which the words: Blessed are You, Lord, appear only at the beginning of the blessing.

And one who concludes the benediction of the betrothal in accordance with the opinion of Rav Aḥa, deems the formula of this blessing just as the formula is in the blessing of kiddush, in which the words: Blessed are You, Lord, appears both at the beginning and the conclusion of the blessing.

Who has created all for His glory.

And the second blessing is: Blessed are You…Creator of mankind.

And the third blessing is: Blessed are You…Who made humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and out of His very self formed a building (see Genesis 2:22) for eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Creator of mankind.

The fourth blessing is: May the barren city of Jerusalem greatly rejoice and delight with the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are You, Lord, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

The fifth blessing is: Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in Eden in ancient times. Blessed are You, Lord, Who brings joy to the groom and bride.

The sixth blessing is: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has created joy and gladness, groom and bride, delight, exultation, happiness, jubilation, love and brotherhood, and peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may there be heard in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride, the joyous sound of grooms from their wedding canopy and of young people from their feast of song (see Jeremiah 33:11). Blessed are You, Lord, Who makes the groom rejoice with the bride.

Together with the blessing over the wine, these are the seven wedding blessings.