(ד) יָתוֹם שֶׁבָּא לְהַשִּׂיאוֹ אִשָּׁה. שׂוֹכְרִין לוֹ בַּיִת וּמַצִּיעִים לוֹ מִטָּה וְכָל כְּלֵי תַּשְׁמִישׁוֹ וְאַחַר כָּךְ מַשִּׂיאִין לוֹ אִשָּׁה:
(4) In the case of an orphan who wants to marry a woman [and lacks the means to do so], [first] they pay for a house for him and arrange for a bed for him and all that he needs for the household, and afterwards they arrange a marriage for him.
Questions:
1) This Halacha is really puzzling. Firstly, we have no idea what it adds to the previous Halacha. We already know that a poor person is supplied a house, furniture and spouse. What does it add to say an example of an orphan?
2) Why is Rambam emphasizing the order in which to give: “and afterwords...”, wouldn’t common sense dictate in which order to give, is this something that really needs to be codified?
3) Why does Rambam make of point of telling us why the orphan is coming to us: “an orphan comes to get married”. Certainly we don’t limit our charity only to orphans who want to get married to the exclusion of those who do not wish to do so. So what’s with this part of the Halacha?
4) Most subtly, though, is the nuance in that Rambam sets this Halacha up as a story: “an orphan who comes to get married...”, versus simply stated it as a matter-of fact law. Is this supposed to help us understand this impposibly strange Halacha???
1) This Halacha is really puzzling. Firstly, we have no idea what it adds to the previous Halacha. We already know that a poor person is supplied a house, furniture and spouse. What does it add to say an example of an orphan?
2) Why is Rambam emphasizing the order in which to give: “and afterwords...”, wouldn’t common sense dictate in which order to give, is this something that really needs to be codified?
3) Why does Rambam make of point of telling us why the orphan is coming to us: “an orphan comes to get married”. Certainly we don’t limit our charity only to orphans who want to get married to the exclusion of those who do not wish to do so. So what’s with this part of the Halacha?
4) Most subtly, though, is the nuance in that Rambam sets this Halacha up as a story: “an orphan who comes to get married...”, versus simply stated it as a matter-of fact law. Is this supposed to help us understand this impposibly strange Halacha???
Explanation:
Perhaps setting up this Halacha as a story is the key to understanding it. I believe Rambam is introducing an entirely new dimension that broadens the way we need to think about Tzedakah.
Telling a Halacha as a story - as opposed to a legal bulleted statement - forces us to think of it... as a story. That means we need to get into the headspace and emotional sphere of the characters. In our example it is an orphan boy.
In Rambam’s days, and certainly the days of the Talmud which is the source of this Halacha, there was very little infrastructure to help orphans find there way. (Tragically, even modern society hasn’t really come up with a good of dealing with orphaned children). Therefore, more than just being financially bereft, an orphan also lacked education, skills to learn a trade, the know-how of tending to and raising a family. They were lost in a confusing world with no one to guide them and teach them how to maneuver through it.
With this backdrop, think about the orphan in our scenario. He is coming to get married. Huh? Marriage?! Who put that crazy idea into his head? Clearly, his lack of life-guidance has brought him to a place where he is desperate for a sense of normalcy and belonging, yet has left him without any sense of how to do so. He wants to get married because that’s what he thinks he needs to do now to resume life normally. In truth, there are many things he needs to do and own before he can be ready for marriage - he just has no way of knowing that he is missing these things.
So we have our “orphan who comes to get married”. A superficial charitable person would just answer the orphan by saying, “great, you want to get married? I have the perfect girl!” After all, the orphan decided that’s what he needs, so perhaps that what we should supply him with.
Here, Rambam steps in and points out the tragic mistake in this. We need to see the entire story. We need to understand and think about who it is that is asking for our help. We cannot just see the person superficially standing here and think only of the black an white technicalities of the Mitzvah of giving him “what he is lacking”. We need to understand what’s truly happening here. Realize how the boy is confused, he has no one to teach him the order in which things need to happen to be able to get married. True, he didn’t ask for a house and furniture. But we know he needs that.
Sometimes we forget to think about how someone who is lacking often does not have the capability to figure out what it is they need. True Tzedakah demands us to use our common sense and sense of care to address the underlying issues, and not just the superficial symptoms of the poor person’s plight.
This is a new paradigm. Those fortunate to be blessed with success can assist those less fortunate in raising them above the confusion and misinterpretation of reality that so often accompanies poverty and misfortune. Tzedakah is no longer a superficial act of giving. It is a call to the conscious heart to take the time and effort to truly understand what the needy person is really looking for. Often, the needy do not even know this themselves. This is the profound idea that Rambam seems to be addressing in between the lines and behind the subtleties of this Halacha.
Perhaps setting up this Halacha as a story is the key to understanding it. I believe Rambam is introducing an entirely new dimension that broadens the way we need to think about Tzedakah.
Telling a Halacha as a story - as opposed to a legal bulleted statement - forces us to think of it... as a story. That means we need to get into the headspace and emotional sphere of the characters. In our example it is an orphan boy.
In Rambam’s days, and certainly the days of the Talmud which is the source of this Halacha, there was very little infrastructure to help orphans find there way. (Tragically, even modern society hasn’t really come up with a good of dealing with orphaned children). Therefore, more than just being financially bereft, an orphan also lacked education, skills to learn a trade, the know-how of tending to and raising a family. They were lost in a confusing world with no one to guide them and teach them how to maneuver through it.
With this backdrop, think about the orphan in our scenario. He is coming to get married. Huh? Marriage?! Who put that crazy idea into his head? Clearly, his lack of life-guidance has brought him to a place where he is desperate for a sense of normalcy and belonging, yet has left him without any sense of how to do so. He wants to get married because that’s what he thinks he needs to do now to resume life normally. In truth, there are many things he needs to do and own before he can be ready for marriage - he just has no way of knowing that he is missing these things.
So we have our “orphan who comes to get married”. A superficial charitable person would just answer the orphan by saying, “great, you want to get married? I have the perfect girl!” After all, the orphan decided that’s what he needs, so perhaps that what we should supply him with.
Here, Rambam steps in and points out the tragic mistake in this. We need to see the entire story. We need to understand and think about who it is that is asking for our help. We cannot just see the person superficially standing here and think only of the black an white technicalities of the Mitzvah of giving him “what he is lacking”. We need to understand what’s truly happening here. Realize how the boy is confused, he has no one to teach him the order in which things need to happen to be able to get married. True, he didn’t ask for a house and furniture. But we know he needs that.
Sometimes we forget to think about how someone who is lacking often does not have the capability to figure out what it is they need. True Tzedakah demands us to use our common sense and sense of care to address the underlying issues, and not just the superficial symptoms of the poor person’s plight.
This is a new paradigm. Those fortunate to be blessed with success can assist those less fortunate in raising them above the confusion and misinterpretation of reality that so often accompanies poverty and misfortune. Tzedakah is no longer a superficial act of giving. It is a call to the conscious heart to take the time and effort to truly understand what the needy person is really looking for. Often, the needy do not even know this themselves. This is the profound idea that Rambam seems to be addressing in between the lines and behind the subtleties of this Halacha.