Sources Through Srugim, Session 28: The Dust of Evil Speech

(16) You shall not go up and down as a slanderer among your people, Do not profit by the blood of your fellow: I am the LORD.

(14) Guard your tongue from evil, your lips from deceitful speech.

The Gemara asks: What is considered malicious speech? In other words, how is malicious speech defined and what are the limits of the prohibition? Rava said: For example, if one says: There is always fire at so-and-so’s home, indicating that they are always cooking food there. Abaye said to Rava: What did this person do wrong by saying that there is always fire in that home? His statement is merely revealing the true facts, and is not malicious speech. Rather, it is considered malicious speech if he expressed this in a slanderous manner. For example, if he says: Where else can one find fire except at so-and-so’s home, because they are always cooking food there.

(1) If one sees that his friend wishes to enter into partnership with someone, and he feels that he will certainly be harmed by this, he must tell him to rescue him from that harm, but the following five conditions must be met:

(1) They are: a) He must be careful not to immediately conclude that harm will result, but must reflect carefully from the beginning to see if the result will, indeed, be harmful.

(2) b) He must not exaggerate the matter to be worse than it actually is.

(3) c) His intent must be for benefit only; that is, to remove the harm from the first, and not because he hates the other.

(4) (And in this third condition, we shall include yet another matter — that aside from his intending benefit and not being motivated by hatred, he must first reflect as to whether benefit will actually sprout from this — as opposed to what happens very often, that even if tells him, he will not listen to him, but will enter into partnership with him, and afterwards, when his partner angers him with something, he will tell him: "He was right when he told me not to become your partner," and the like. For such people, whom he recognizes to possess this evil trait of rechiluth, no heter is conceivable, for it makes these blind men stumble in the absolute negative commandment of rechiluth.)

(5) d) If he can effect this benefit [in some other way] without having to speak badly of the other, he should do so.

(6) e) All this is permitted only if absolute harm will not come to the one spoken of because of what is said about him. That is, they are not permitted to do him any positive harm, but only to deprive him of the good that might have come to him from the partnership. Even though [even] this is bad for him, in any event it is permitted. But if absolute harm comes to him because of what is said about him, it is forbidden to speak about him; for this would require other conditions, as will be explained below

Similarly, Rav Dimi, the brother of Rav Safra, teaches: A person should never speak about the goodness of another in the presence of others, as through speaking about his goodness he will come to speak about him in a derogatory manner

He will come to speak about him in a derogatory manner: As if he shares too much about a person's positive qualities, he himself will say, "with the exception of this one trait he has", or others who are hearing this person get excessively praised will say, "on the other hand, he possesses these negative traits".

(1) There are many things which are forbidden because of the "dust" of rechiluth. I shall explain some of them in short, and the intelligent reader will infer their parallels: one's telling his friend that they asked Ploni about him and he answered: "Hush! I don't want to mention what happened and what is going to happen!" All such things, where one tells him how Ploni's words intimated something ill of him are in the category of the "dust" of slander.

(1) And so, if one praises another before his [the other's] friend, where such praise can raise resentment in his [the friend's] heart against him [the other], and harm may result, this is in the category of the "dust" of rechiluth. Therefore, it seems to me that one should take care not to praise Reuven before Shimon, his partner (or a woman before her husband or a husband before his wife) for having granted him a loan or given him charity or paying him well for his work, and the like. For this might arouse resentment in the heart of Shimon against his partner Reuven [for having overextended himself]. And sometimes this might lead to harm to Reuven or to quarreling (and thus with a husband vis-à-vis his wife), Shimon thinking that Reuven was extravagant in his expenditures.